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 Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 9:55 am
He was back in his room again, thinking about how time had moved much too quickly while he and Yin were together but how now it had seemed to slow down to a slime n snails pace. Having Fei gone meant that the room had lost what little vibrancy it had left, and made things seem almost dim and grey in his absense. Alexander continued to convince himself that he had done the right thing by sending the weremantis and the vaisel away. Not only did he not wish to inadvertantly hurt them in some way, but this was also something that he needed to deal with on his own. No more relying on everyone else to pull him through. He needed to prove to himself that he could be just as strong on his own as he could be with Yin backing him.
Though with the vaisel gone the room should have been quiet, there was just no silence to be had for the zomboil who's head was still filled with the steady and incessant whisperings that so haunted him. All of his insecurities, all of his feelings of worthlessness, they all rose to the surface, making him feel like there was nothing left for him to be happy for. While he now knew this to be a lie, the thoughts threatened to drag him under, and return him to that state that he had been in before Yin had arrived to prove whatever the whisperings were doing to his self esteem false. "Just shut the jack up, I'm not falling for it this time.." He muttered to himself, as he pushed himself out of his chair to amble over towards the closet. When he reached the door that had been partially adjar, he flung it open wide, eyes going up to the shelf along the top as he reached up, fingers brushing against something smooth and round before his hand close down around it. The small object seemed almost warm in his hand, though he was sure that wa just his imagination, likely a subconscious replaying of the first time he had held this pin, Yin's badge, in his hand. It had been warm then, and had been a symbol of the weremantis's choosing to be bonded with the zomboil. It was a reminder of happier times, of how things were not nearly as bad as the almost overwhelming doubt kept telling him it was.
Shambling back over to his chair, he flopped down into it, legs stretched out in front of him as he unfolded his fingers and raised up his hand to stare at the small object nestled in the middle of his palm. He reached up with his other hand, tracing the lines of the mantis like image with his index finger, still marveling, even all these weeks later, at how Yin had actually chosen him, of all things. It brought almost the faintest of smiles to his lips, and lent him some small form of comfort, even as his fingers closed around the badge once more and he brought up his legs to curl up in the chair, letting his fist rest against his stomach, hand clenched tight in a death grip that wouldn't allow him to let this one precious item go even as he let himself zone out in an attempt to escape the faint whisperings in his head. His eyelids fluttered shut, his movements becoming absolutely still.
This time the whispers didn't die down. They actually flared to life, reaching a new severity and intensity that Alex had never experienced before. Try as he might to pull himself back to the waking world, there seemed to be nothing he could do. He was trapped within his own head now, thoughts a whirling jumble as panic began to set in. At this point Alex was still aware, could still see images in his mind as though he were still conscious, but he could not seem to break free of whatever hold the insanity now held on him, could not open his eyes, could not stifle the voices. Nothing that the voices said held any meaning to him, not a single actual word seemed to emerge from the cacophany, until there was one, just one.
Home. The word was a hiss, almost a promise. Home.
Slowly, everything seemed to turn to black as Alexander slipped fully into unconsciousness.
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 3:17 pm
When he awoke, it was not to the dark cold of his bedroom, but to warmth and brightness. He was laying upon something soft, on his side, not curled up in some awkward and umcomfortable almost contortionist style position on a chair that barely fit his frame. No, he was stretched out, his feet flexing and unflexing on top of a thick blanket. His eyes were still closed, but he could feel the warmth along his cold, exposed flesh. The light of the room was apprent even through closed eyelids. And there was something else, something familiar in the way the bed felt beneath him, as though there were somebody else nearby, a weight that he found himself wanting to scoot towards, to wrap his arms around. He took one deep inhale of breath to confirm his suspicions. He was not alone, and he recognized the scent as one belonging to somebody very familiar to him. He was both eager to open his eyes and afraid at the same time as confusion flooded his thoughts, but slowly, oh so slowly, he let his eyes crack open as he rolled to his back and let his gaze take in his surroundings.
Home, he was home. In his own bed, in his own house that he had lived in since he was just a tiny scareling. The warmth was coming from the heater set up in the corner of the room, keeping the environment at a tolerable level for the form that he found sleeping beside him. Yin. It was Yin. His bonded, his boilfriend. But how could this possibly be real? He had been in his dorm room at Amityville, had just drifted into unconsciousness and was now awakening here. It couldn't be real, and this must have been a dream but...But everything just seemed so familiar, and vibrant, and....
And the whispering was gone.
There was a shift in the bed, and Alex turned a little, eyes flickering towards Yin as the weremantis turned towards him. "Good Morning, Alexander!" The other boil beamed, his face warm, his eyes bright with happiness. It was too hard not to smile in return, that grin on his boilfriends face was infectious. Again, he had to wonder how he had gotten here, how they both had, but then before he could even speak there was a knock on the door, and it was suddenly swinging open to reveal his mother, with a tray of food held in hand. The hallway behind her was filled with the friendly faces of Alex's friends and family, even the ones from Amity. It seemed rather...odd, that they would be here too, but instead of confusion now all Alex could feel was a constant wave happiness, the ebb and flow of joy now seeping into him as he sat up in the bed. Thoughts that this couldn't possibly be real washed away. This was perfect, this was everything he wanted.
This was home, or at least, what he wished home could truly be like?
His mom was setting the tray of food down on the end of his bed, her smile spread across her face just as large as the one Alex was giving her in return. "Thanks!" He said, happily, and she nodded at him.
"Of course! Is there anything else I can get for you this morning, Alexander? Anything at all? We just want you to be happy, after all." She continued to smile, and the warmth Alex could feel from her, from Yin, from all of the beaming faces in the hallway....it was almost blissful, really. He shook his head, his mop of hair bouncing with the movement.
"No thanks, mom. This is great.." He felt like he should say thank you again, but that would have been fairly redundent at this point. Besides, she was already backing away.
"Do let me know if you need anything else." She said, as the door closed softly behind her.
Once the door was shut, the faces of all of those who he cared most about hidden once more, Alex turned back towards Yin, even as he reached out to drag the food closer towards them. "Shall we?" He said, with a large grin, though the weremantis was already shaking his head.
"Oh no, Alexander. It's all for you. You're the one everybody is here for, you're the one who is important. I will eat downstairs with everyone else. You just go ahead." The weremantis was starting to slide off of the bed and was making his own way towards the door when Alex frowned.
"Do you have to go now? I'd rather you stayed to keep me company."
The reply was almost instant, and Yin returned, his face still smiling happily. "As you wish."
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That day passed in a whirlwind of activity. It seemed that absolutely everyone who Alex loved, or at least felt strongly towards, was here in his home. They were all ecstatic to see him, all with friendly words, all with beaming, smiling, happy faces. Everything was perfect. The games they played, the food they ate. It was like Alexander had awoken in some kind of paradise. By the end of the day he felt like this was absolutely where he belonged, and there was no way he was ever going to want to leave.
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