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 Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 1:50 pm
Jerry stared at the empty page of the journal Killzone had given him, his brain swimming with a complete lack of any ideas of what to write. He put the pen down on the paper.
It has been over a week since...
The ink was orange. He shouldn't be surprised.
He growled, and ripped the fluffy end off of the pen, throwing it to the ground o try to save himself some amount of masculinity.
It has been over a week since our return from the recent mission. Still feeling out of sorts. Spoke to KZ who instructed me to meditate and record my thoughts here. I've never kept a journal before, I assume you just write what occurs to you. I don't know if anyone else will read this. Maybe they are studying me, seeing how this is effecting me I don't know but I do not like the idea of being a guinneapig.
The journal is ridiculous, it might also be a joke to make me look like an idiot I am not an idiot, they probably all think I'm a weirdo. Most people do I can't help it even Sasha grew annoyed with me and she's never annoyed by anything what is wrong with me.
Have been thinking about Candace a lot. Every time I see her she is hanging off of or kissing other men I don't think she misses me. She expressed concern the other day about my behavior but I think she just wants to sleep together again maybe I should just to get it out of our systems but I don't think it matters to her who she sleeps with maybe it shouldn't matter to me either it's just so hard in the bunker there's always at least a dozen people around at any given time, I hate it I hate it.
Hard to think clearly. Everything distresses me. Keep hearing things. Try to keep it under control, but it's hard. I want things to be like they were.
Leg still hurts. Hopefully will heal soon. Need something to keep my mind off of things.
He stopped writing, staring at the block of orange ink. He rocked a bit, trying to let his brain settle down before writing again.
Killzone said I should avoid the fog and keep to my meditation but I can't concentrate. Tried after the meeting, I just ended up in tears and had to excuse myself. Need to keep myself occupied. Useless, I'm so useless. Roar thinks of me as just a pair of legs to cart him around, which is only half true now I guess. I want to prove them wrong. I'm capable. I'm fully capable. Being a Sun is the best thing I've ever done, I know it I feel it, I want to do better, I want to crush them all, to rip them apart, to blow them to pieces and make all the bad things go away but I'm a clown a worthless, useless...
He paused again, drawing in a deep breath.
Need to get my mind off of things. Need to go top side. On my own. Prove to them all I'm capable. I'm not crazy. Work off this 'insanity'. Distract myself. Found the perfect outlet when looking over the status reports of the compound. I know what I need to do.
I'm not useless. I'm not crazy. I'm not stupid. I can do this on my own. I'll show them.
His face contorted as he stared down at the orange ink, mouth trembling at the edges. He thought about writing more, but what was there to write? 'Boo hoo no one likes me boo hoo I'm an idiot boo hoo I miss music club"? He was an idiot. The hissing was bubbling up again in the back of his head, and he dropped the pen to cover his ears as though that would help.
Deep breaths. Just be calm. You know it's not you. It's the fog. Just deep breaths.
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:26 pm
Wash wandered the bunker in a haphazard fashion. It was odd here, never being alone. As someone who'd spent a great deal of time on his own in the last few months, it was...overwhelming. Still, he had it better than most. He hadn't really made friends, just acquaintances. That wasn't to say people weren't concerned, but when he needed a moment to himself, as he did now, it was easy to slip away.
Just another guy in the background. Don't mind me, I don't mind...
Ever since their return, and the aftermath of the Phoenix, his thoughts had been spiraling downward. Wash hadn't spoken to Sally in days, and when he did- she was distant. He knew it had something to do with... Julie's weapon, flickering, still alive maybe, still trapped somewhere in a desert at the mercy of those-
He shook his head. No, he had avoided direct communication with her as much as she him. Neither knew what to say to the other. He couldn't assure her that she would never suffer that fate, and she couldn't replace his wife and child. She couldn't be family, she was barely even a friend, just another tool like him. But she could protect people, and he needed her. In that, she was more valuable to him than anything.
Awash in these tumultuous thoughts, he almost didn't see Jerry, tucked as he was in the shadows, scribbling furiously into a brightly colored notebook. Wash smiled at that, though the man looked as haggard as he felt. Jerry had always in his eyes, been a kind man. He sometimes wished he could stride into adversity with a song on his lips like that. He wondered where his lady friend had gotten to, though- what was her name, Candy? Something.
He approached, mindful of the other man's privacy, and stopped a few feet away. "Hey, man. Sorry, didn't mean to- that is, I just wanted to get away for a sec. How've you been? How's the leg?"
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 2:37 pm
The notebook snapped shut, and he shoved the fuzzy orange pen into it's spiral binding as he glanced up at Wash with a momentarily irritated expression. His brain caught up with his eyes, and his look softened, "Wash, you're a Moon." Obvious comment was obvious, clearly, but no sooner had it left his mouth, the Sun hunter used the bed to haul himself to his feet. He didn't answer about the leg, but he wasn't limping as badly as he had been the last time Wash had seen him. It still looked stiff as he shuffled past him, tucking the notebook into the pocket of his jumpsuit. "C-come... come with me."
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 9:12 pm
"Yeah- uh, alright man." Wash eyes widened a bit in surprise. He very badly wanted to ask what on earth or otherwise was going on, but he decided to save it. He'd see soon enough. His solitude wasn't more important than his- well, his friend's safety, right? I mean...Well, with the bum leg, he could literally just fall over onto something sharp, but also the comment about him 'being a Moon' was a little worrisome. He had a feeling that he wasn't going to be asking his opinion on which sweatshirt most suited his facial scars.
All in all, this was an odd ending to a casual stroll. Was that a dolphin on that notebook?
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 9:28 pm
Jerry stiffly made his way along the bunker without a word, expecting Wash to follow all the way until they were making their way above ground, "I have a mission," He said flatly, a set look on his face. That seemed to be all he was ready to offer the poor man that had been dragged along, and Jerry was intent on going whether Wash was following or not.
The fog parted around them, engulfing them as he pressed his way along, not towards the main campus but... somewhere a bit further off. Roar materialized in a green flicker. He didn't wait for Wash to do the same.
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:52 pm
Jerry seemed...oddly determined. But as he strode off into the whispering fog, Wash had to follow him, right?
He found himself working to keep up with the stiff legged man. Where were they even going? Belatedly, he summoned Sally.
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Bilious rolled 1 100-sided dice:
22
Total: 22 (1-100)
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:09 pm
"I've just gotta-otta keep busy, is all," Jerry explained as the fog grew denser. They cut along the path, houses creeping through the mist as they went. It seemed Jerry was headed for a specific spot. Quote: 11-32: A small, semi-solid creature snatches at you with painful claws and teeth. Mob Stats HP: 5 Auto Damage: 2 (hit or miss)
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Ravvlet rolled 2 8-sided dice:
6, 3
Total: 9 (2-16)
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:35 pm
"Yeah I get that- hey man, watch out!" He sliced at the shadowy thing that appeared from the fog with the edge of his shield. It hissed, and a chill when down Wash's spine. Would he ever get used to this? Probably not.
It sounded like the thing had said Denise.
Wash HP: 38/40
Damage: 3
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Bilious rolled 2 10-sided dice:
6, 9
Total: 15 (2-20)
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Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 11:52 pm
Jerry whirled around, the ground suddenly erupting in a blast where the creature had once been, and the man with the bazooka wobbled as though just then realizing he might have hit his friend. "S-sorry," He murmured and turned around to march forward.
Through the mist, a tall building came into focus. An old school by the looks of it.
HP: 48/50
Damage: 9
Charge: 1/3. 0/3
Creature HP: so ded
Kill Count: 1
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:09 am
Wash's ears rung from the blast that very nearly took out his arm and singed his jacket a bit.
Damn, Jerry. You scary.
"Yeah, gotta be careful with, ah, firearms, yeah?" Wash responded, somewhat teasingly. I mean, it took a lot for them to REALLY die, right? Still, he kind of liked having two arms. Yes, he was definitely a two armed guy. This line of somewhat morose thought was interrupted as the dark specter of an schoolhouse loomed before him.
He swallowed, imagining rows of empty desks and long, dark hallways.
"I uh, I don't think class is in session... You sure you wanna two man this?" It was a stupid question, but a tickle of fear churned his stomach, and he felt convinced that the whispering grew louder the closer they got to the rather grim edifice. Wash wasn't sure he was ready for any more anxiety-induced paranoia and introspection. He'd gotten his wallet back, but he still hadn't found his...center.
God, and they hadn't told anyone where they were going. The image of the dead hunter from their last outing flashed through his mind, and he held Sally up a little higher.
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Bilious rolled 1 100-sided dice:
92
Total: 92 (1-100)
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:13 am
"I was going to be a teacher, you know," Jerry said distantly. This particular school house was intimately familiar. It was where he almost got Harrison killed. He was a different man then. "I taught for a short while, even." He walked to the door, expression glazed as he kicked it in. The whispers picked up around them, overtaking the ringing in his ears. He embraced them. Quote: 90-98: A small, fairly solid creature swiftly begins attacking you! Mob Stats HP: 15 Auto Damage: 5 (hit or miss)
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Ravvlet rolled 1 10-sided dice:
4
Total: 4 (1-10)
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:22 am
A teacher? Yeah, Wash could see that. Only...
"What made ya quit?" His inquiry was cut short, however, by another shadowy beast. He stepped up, careful to remain out of the way of Jerry's weapon, shield at the ready.
As the thing hissed and sprang at them, he continued on the conversation. Anything to distract him from the whispering.
"I used to inspect houses. Wasn't as exciting, but I got to see a lot of-" he grunted as his shield absorbed the first attack -"interesting architexture!" He saw a whole lot of other things, too. He very sincerely hoped that they wouldn't be visiting any attics in their little foray. Oh, and that they managed to come out in one piece.
Wash HP: 38/40
defending for 4!
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Bilious rolled 2 10-sided dice:
1, 7
Total: 8 (2-20)
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:26 am
Why'd you quit? Jerry hesitated as he fired, the blow just grazing the creature, saving him the explanation for now. "H-house inspector? Ahahaha, you would have loved my Grandmother's house. The bricks were used from real old bricks if that means anything."
The beast snarled, a claw catching his coat as Jerry dodged what Wash couldn't contain.
This was nice, he thought distantly.
HP: 47/50
Damage: 2
Charge: 2/3, 0/3
Critter HP: 13
Kill Count: 1
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Ravvlet rolled 1 10-sided dice:
6
Total: 6 (1-10)
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 1:54 am
"Oh? That's pretty-" He hissed, man this little guy was determined, "neat. A lot of the houses where I'm from had been through floods, so the oldest ones were-" another blow thunked off his shield, "the most sound."
Panting a little, he added, "Say, where're you from, man?"
HP: 38/40
Defending for 6!
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Bilious rolled 2 10-sided dice:
7, 7
Total: 14 (2-20)
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 2:08 am
"Philadelphia. It's all red brick from the settlement ships bringing bricks in for balance or something like that. You?"
Not a single stutter, Roar was both impressed, and slightly worried.
"Er, you might want to cover your ear," Stepping to aim over Wash's shoulder and shield, Jerry pulled the trigger.
HP: 47/50
Damage: 8
Charge: 3/3, 0/3
Critter HP: 5
Kill Count: 1
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