Some of you already know this, but the majority of you don't so I'm going to shed some light on this situation for you he best I can because you're all my friends, and you deserve to know why I've been so inactive of late.
It started around feburary.
With headaches so bad they would keep me awake for days and make me nauseous. Headaches that were always acompanied by nosebleeds. I started to get really forgetful, forgetting people's names sometimes, directions home from the store and sometimes silly things like words. I got clumsy too, moreso than usual. I would walk into things, trip over nothing. Dizzyness and nausea would suddenly overcome me without warning and I would black out. Most importantly I found myself getting irritated and angry at virtualy nothing, my mood has changed no doubt, this is why I try to avoid the thread on bad days.
After a while of hiding this from everyone I know, I gave in and agreed to have a CT scan of my brain along with my routine lung scan. I was scared to hear what they would tell me and as it turns out I was right to be.
It was a scary enough time of my life the first time I heard the daunting word 'Tumour' and the second time around it was no easier. This was the first time I had ever heard the words 'Metastatic Brain Tumour' and they chilled me to the ******** bone.
In laymans terms It's simply the word they use to describe a brain tumour that originated from a tumour elsewhere, rather than a 'primary' tumour which would have originated in the brain. Currently there's nothing that they can do about it, it's still active and spreading albeit slowly and they worry that tackling it directly is too dangerous since I'm now fighting two seperate Cancers.
That being said, I want no sympathy. I want nothing to change. If people were to start treating me diffrently then I don't know how I would react, I don't want to become agitated or frustrated and I most certainly don't want any of you to let me fall into my little hole of self-pitty. Just keep me company, make me laugh, you're all so good at that.
If anything is to happen, I'll find a way for Kyu to let you all know.
I'll shut up and stop depressing up the guild now.
emo
Economical Animal Superstar...YEAH!
bitchplz.
