The rules are simple - just put the number of your method, and then the method. I'll get the ball rolling, shall I?
*MASTER LIST*
1. Somehow hack the game, so at the end, instead of Sora holding her hand as they seperate, he yanks her down into the pit of oblivion. ~Scathach13
2. Refuse to get her a log. Or an egg. Or water. Or anything else. ~Scathach13
3. Just give her a cold, blank stare whenever she giggles. ~Scathach13
4. Cheer when you see her "dead" body in Hallow Bastion. ~Scathach13
5. Wait till nightfall, then sneak in her room and shave her head. Procead to draw rude things on top of it in permanent marker. ~Scathach13
6. Stare at her. Keep staring. Stare stare stare. Burst out laughing for no apparent reason. Laugh harder when she asks you what's so funny. ~Scathach13
7. In responce to her idea of going off with Sora on the raft alone, have Sora say: "Hey! I've got an even better idea! Why don't YOU go off on the raft ALONE, and I can stay here in paridise with Riku! With the rations we *cough*I*cough* gathered, you might live for a few whole days!" ~Scathach13
8. Sneak up behind her in the secret place and yell real loud, so she bashes her head on the ceiling. Or wall. It doesn't really matter as long as she bashes her head on something. ~Scathach13
9. Make a sand castle, and tell her it represents your feelings for her. Make sure you've made in in an area where tsunamis are an often occurence. ~Scathach13
10. Sneak up on her. All the time. ~Scathach13
11. When you come up behind her, tug on her hair and when she looks at you, blame the nearest living creature. ~SojiroSetas_Girl
12. Whenever someone says Kairi, say "BEEP" as though it is a swear-word.. ~SojiroSetas_Girl
13. When she askes your opinion about Paopu, tell her that you heard it makes red-headed girls break out into delirious fevers, thereby causing them to fling themselves off cliffs like lemmings. ~Scathach13
14. Burst out into tears crying "Mommy! Mommy, MAKE IT GO AWAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!" and run away really fast whenever you see her coming (make sure she's in earshot). Actually run to Mommy for bonus points. Have Mommy turn around, see her, and scream for Mega-Points. Have your Mommy actually pick you up and run away while you both are screaming - priceless. ~Scathach13
15. Find her when she's asleep. Slowly, quietly, put her in the treehouse (where you found the sail), and remove the laders that would allow her to climb down. Make sure you do this on a Sunday, so no-one will find her for at least a few days. ~Scathach13
16. Suggest she should fight Riku for Sora's affections - in a no-holds texas-cage match. ~Scathach13
17. Hint that Sora is, in reality - female. Hint that Riku is also a female. Hint that they are in lesbian relationship. Watch as she twitches to death in horrible agony, as a combination of homophobia and the paradime shift break her mind. ~Scathach13
18. ...Just don't bother looking for her. Ever. Throw a party. ~Scathach13
19. Take all her clothing, and replace it with all new stuff... Stuff that all proclaims "Sora and Riku 4ever!" and phrases like that. In big bold letters. ~Scathach13
20. Make princess jokes. All the time. Especially if it's out of context, or is perverted in some way. ~Scathach13
21. Start praying all the time (make sure she sees this) - and when she asks what you're doing, say that you're gathering the strength to continue living each day, when your existence is plauged by an evil abomination. Do not specify the abomination. Henceforth, immidiatly drop to the ground and pray EVERY time you see her comming. Make sure she sees this. ~Scathach13
22. When she's asleep walk quietly over to her and shake her vigorously yelling, "Wake up you lazy bum!", preferably in her ear. ~kupo-tenshi
23. When she starts babbling on about meaningless events in her life and then asks if you're listening scream "No!" and run away. ~kupo-tenshi
24. If she starts walking towards you turn the opposite direction and start walking. If she still keeps following you pick up the pace. If this continues break out into a sprint and DON'T look back. ~kupo-tenshi
25. Have Sora take her boat with him when he leaves. Make sure she's the last person left on the island and don't come back for a few days. ~kupo-tenshi
26. Scribble out her picture in the secret place in a big, elaborate, noticeable way. When she finds out what happened deny everything. ~kupo-tenshi
27. When she's not looking, run up to her really fast and push her from behind. Proclaim that the wind is awfully strong today and walk away. ~kupo-tenshi
28. Whenever she touches you, jump back dramatically yelling "Ouch!" If she hugs you cry out in pain until she stops. ~kupo-tenshi
29. When Kairi tells Sora that Riku's changed have Sora say, "Yeah, he's with me now! <3", and have him walk away. ~kupo-tenshi
30. When she gets her heart stolen on the island, have Sora sidestep her as she gets thrown forward. Cheer as her heart gets lost into an oblivion forever. ~kupo-tenshi
31. Drug her so she is completely out of it. Dye her hair black. Dress her in black clothing, and put black pipe-cleaner anntena on her head. Be as elaborate in your... design... as you can, but make sure it looks "authentic". Proceade to leave her in a dark alleyway in Traverse Town. Tell Sora that you saw a heartless impersonating her near by. ~Scathach13
32. Suggest she remove the socks she stuffed in her shirt. ~Scathach13
33. Ask her when the corrective-surgery will be. Do not specify the surgery. Congradulate her on making such a wonderful decision to go through with it. Try to throw in some meaningless giberish words that sound like medical terms, but in reality are utterly meaningless. ~Scathach13
34. Leave "Sora's" journal in a place where she is likely to find it. Make sure that there's a bookmark on a page where "Sora" describes, in great detail and length, his "True Feelings" for Kairi. Hint: Make sure that it actually sounds like Sora wrote it. Try to mimic his handwritting, too. For extra points: Have Riku described with endless praise and soforth throughout the entite journal. For mega-points: Include suggestive photos of Riku pasted in various places. ~Scathach13
35. Have Sora ask her why he should take the Oathkeeper, when BOTH the Oblivion and the Ultima Weapon are stronger? Have him mention a few minutes before how the Oblivion remindes him of Riku, and the Ultima Weapon of how he and Riku feel for eachother (do not specify the meaning of "feel"). ~Scathach13
36. Whisper the word "octopus" in her ear every night as she sleeps. Continue this untill she snaps and is put in the mental hospital for an unspecifyed length of time. ~Scathach13
37. in the opening theme, when sora sees Kairi after he bursts out of the water, have him prompty run back into the water screaming insanely. ~SojiroSetas_Girl
38. Instead of having Sora say: "Where's Kairi, I thought she was with you!?", have him say: "Where's Kairi, am I finally alone with you!!?" ~Scathach13
39. Upon recieving the Oathkeeper, have Sora head up to the stone platform that would take him back to Merlin's. Have him "stummble" and drop the Oathkeeper into one of the fire pots. ~Scathach13
40. Upon meeting Kairi in the Secret Waterway, have Sora say: "Wow Kairi - it's dark, filled with sewer water, and totally abandoned - you're back in your own element!" ~Scathach13
41. On the first day on the Destiny Islands, sneak around to the other side - then, push open (hard and fast!) the door Kairi is standing in front of. If done correctly, and done with enough force to knock a rabid fangirl unconcious, you should hear a delicious SMACK noise, followed by a THUMP. ~Scathach13
42. Set her house on fire (hoefully she's still inside) Then dance around the flames singing 'Happy days are here again'. ~Tenoko1
43. Send her an anonymous email with steamy pictures of Riku and Sora together. ~Tenoko1
44. Point out how when Sora mentions her and Riku he always says her name last and sometime has to be reminded of her exsistence. ~Tenoko1
45. Sign her up as a call girl. ~Tenoko1
46. Create a love potion, use it on Ansem so that the first person he sees he falls in love with, have Kairi standing directly in front of him. Laugh and giggle in glee as she is forced to see things from Sora's traumatized perspective. ~Tenoko1
47. Have you and everyone else in everyworld point and laugh hysterically when ever she's seen. Anyone who does not do so will be punished. Severely. stare ~Tenoko1
48. Turn in the opposite direction and run away screaming, "RAPE!" whenever she approaches. Immediately go to Riku for protection. ~Torrina Shirogane
49. While Sora is still a heartless have him gather a small team of shadow heartless to distract Donald and Goofy. While said pair is distracted have Sora jump Kairi from behind and repeatedly stab and claw at her. ~Silent_Revolver
50. Immidiatly after being changed back from a heartless, have Sora leap away from her yelling: "HOLY CRAP!!! YOUR HEART SMELLS DISGUSTING!!!" or something along those lines. When she is shocked, have him explain the reason why he turned back into a human is because the horrific stench overwhelmed his heartlessy-senses, and thus destroyed it. ~Scathach13
51. Poke her with a stick and keep repeating "Sora hates you" at the same time. Keeping doing this until her head s'plode. ~QueenofMallets
52. When sora and kairi are talking and she mentions. "Sora, lets go, just to two of us!" Have sora jump up and look guilty before telling her. "Sorry kairi, one) I don't like you like that, two) me and riku decided to leave /you/ here while we leave on the raft." And then watch as she looks at you horrified. ^w^ Bonus points if riku runs up and says. " Sora are you ready to leave." and ignores kairi completely. ~ilovemybabykoikii
53. When Kairi suggests they leave together on the raft "just the two of us!" have Sora procead to be violently ill, actually vomiting off the edge of the dock. Bonus points if he continues to have the dry heaves afterwards. ~Scathach13
54. When Sora and Kairi are in the Secret Waterway and Kairi gives Sora her good luck charm, promptly have Sora shred it into a bunch of tiny little pieces, then throw said pieces into the water, and proceed to walk away. ~B.N.A.P.Hime
55. When you see Kairi's dead body in Hollow Bastion, dance around singing, "DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD!!!" Bonus points if you sing very off-key. ~SojiroSetas_Girl
56. When they're seperating at the end of the game, have Sora collapse to his knees and yell out "THANK YOU, DEAR GOD! YES! YES!" ~Scathach13
57. Right before Sora stabs himself to release Kairi's heart, have him pause. Then shudder. He mumbles "Oh yeah - it's worth it all right, anythings better than having... that in me... ew..." He then entusiastially plunges the keyblade in his chest, saying something along the lines of "thank god it's gone" as Kairi's heart floats out. ~Scathach13
58. In the scene where he turns back from being a heartless, and she hugs him, have him start screaming instently, and yelling "IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS!!! IT BURNS SO BAD IT KILLED MY HEARTLESS FORM!!! AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" ~Scathach13
59. Just throw water on her. I mean, that melts witches, right? ~Ipoku
60. As she talks to you, stare blankly at her. When she asks why you're staring, ask, "Haven't the police found you yet?" ~Scathach13
61. When Kairi flys in to Sora's body during the destruction of the Destiny Islands, have him immidiatly start screaming for an exorsist. ~Scathach13
62. Make Sora scream for a purification ritual everytime she touches him. ~Scathach13
63. Have Riku actually preform said exorsisms and purification rituals... in his own, special way. ~Scathach13
64. Suggest she become a summoner and defeat Sin. ~Scathach13
65. Recomend her as a test subject for Hojo. ~Scathach13
66. Leave her in a room with Zidane for a few minutes. (He'll either hit on her non-stop, or he'll decide he hates her and torments her. Either way, she'll be scared for life.) ~Scathach13
67. Poke her repeatedly, when she asks you to stop poking her, get something larger, like a stick, and continue each time she asks till you can kill her x3 ~PinkPoogleh
68. constanly have Sora shout her name to get her attention and when you do say "Oh..sorry I was having naughty thoughts about me and Riku and I was screaming because you interrupted our time together." ~Shadow15
69. annoy the hell out of her by perisistantly saying Riku is hot and she's not. ~Shadow15
70. Ask her if she's going to have Sora and Riku be bridesmaides for her wedding. WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT IN FRONT OF SAID WOULD-BE BRIDESMAIDS. ~Scathach13
71. Immidiatly after asking this, ask if you can be the flowergirl/boy. ~Scathach13
72. Fall on your knees begging god for forgivness and ask for him to take the ugly horrid monster away. ~SimpleCry
73. Tell her that Riku hates Red heads and give her fake hair dye that makes her bald. ~SimpleCry
74. Give her a poupou fruit injected wtih alchol so that way she is banned from seeing anyone. (If she has a mom that lives on the island) ~SimpleCry
75. Tell her That Sora and Riku are in an anti-princess group. ~SimpleCry
76. Have Sora tell her once and for all to get up off her lazy a** and do something instead of sitting around all day while him and Riku always do all the work on the island. ~Shadow15
77. Have Sora and Riku an orgy right in front of her and make loud noises to annoy her. ~Shadow15
78. When Kairi tells Sora he's a lazy bumb, have her glare at her and say: "First of all, my bumb is not lazy - it is extremely sore. Secondly, I was awake ALL NIGHT LONG using it, so shut the f*** up!!!". He proceads to flip her the finger, and lays back down on the beach... and resumes sleeping in direct defiance. ~Scathach13
79. When she calls Sora a lazy bum, have him retort, "Lazy? I am not! Ask Riku, we get in the most strenuous excersise ever EVERY night!!" ~Tenoko1
80. Have Riku and Sora have sex on the beach. Then have Selphie tell Kairi they wanted to talk to her. She goes to meet them and gets the shock of her life. Let's get N-A-S-T-Y!!!!!!!! ~Tenoko1
81. Convince Organiztion XIII to become the "We Hate Kairi Committee", and then they and everyone else joins forces to destory the little red head. ~Tenoko1
82. Tell her you met Santa and she's on his 'Naughty' list. 'Course then again, I'm sure Riku and Sora classify as naughty after some of the things they've been caught doing... They've got to quit having sex in public... ~Tenoko1
83. When ever Kairi comes around, have Sora and Riku giggle and whis[er about something when she comes into there view they stop and free then whisper to eachother. "Maybe if it doesn't see us we wont die from looking upon it's horrid face." Everytime Kairi comes around they do this ~Yaoi God Sora
84. Have Kairi fight the Behemoth with a small fluffyball in the stadium and have a bunch of Heartless and Nobodies cheering for the Behemoth while having the Organization XIII being the Nobody/Heartless cheer squad with Sora and Riku happily kissing eachother on the big screen while Kairi gets eaten by the giant monster. ~Sateru
85. Force Kairi into a Work Sweatshop and have her work night and day cleaning after Pete and Ursula. ~Sateru
86. Kairi + Ice Titan = Kairicicle ~Sateru
87. Tie Kairi to a chair and force her to watch The little Mermaid 555 times and electrocute her when she falls asleep or closes her eyes. ~Sateru
88. Sneak behind Kairi when she is in Hollow Bastion or any other Heartless filled place and stick a piece of paper saying, "Kill me!" ~Sateru
89. Switch her shampoo with honey and tell her that Sora is waiting in the 100 acre wood with a picnic basket. Watch what happens when the bees appear and attack her, and then Winnie the Pooh just looks at her like she is a mad woman for wasting good honey. ~Sateru
90. Have Kairi be sent to Hell and have her get stuck with Maleficent who will rant about how she will one day take over the world and that she looks much better than all of the other girl villians. ~Sateru
91. The next time Kairi says Sora is lazy, he just simply says to her, "Is Aunt Flo visiting you, again!?" ~Sateru
92. Tie her to those lightning things you see on skyscrapers that attract lightning with barbed wire during a lightning storm with a bucket of water on her feet since water conducts electricity. O: ~Raven Kitsune
93. Have Sora suggest to trade Kairi in excange for Riku with Malificent (the evil ***** lady). ~Scathach13
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