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 Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:09 pm
Kawani wasn't sure what to think of everything right now. She didn't think it was just her....her father had seemed to grown more withdrawn lately. Perhaps because one of her siblings was married now. He probably wasn't ready to become a grandfather, and everyone knew that soon after you got married you had cubs. There was almost no instance that that didn't happen (except those in Shadow). Still, it was disheartening to her to see her father becoming more quiet and standoffish. She hoped that he didn't just...disappear one day. With heavy paws, she kept close to their current encampment, not wanting to stray far out from her clan members. She just...didn't know what to do with herself right now. She kind of couldn't wait for another Sky Festival. She was ready for a change of pace and new faces.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:22 pm
Sedi Waya had become, oddly, unpredictably predictable since become truly independent. Some days he would stay with the clan and other days he would be impossible to find but he was never causing trouble, he rarely stood out and only occasionally went out of his way to actively socialize. And he seemed perfectly content that way.
Having fulfilled his duties for the day, he happened to be hanging out in the sunshine a short walk away from where the clan was staying. He was near enough to keep an eye on goings-on and happened to be just off the path Kawani was wandering away on. He watched her walk, guessing by her posture that she wasn't particularly cheerful, and decided to get up and join her. Shaking the dust from his fur, he walked silently until he was almost caught up with her.
"Where are you off to, Kawani?" he asked.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:45 pm
Kawani hadn't been expecting someone to approach her, especially so her quiet brother. Sedi...honestly, she worried about him more. Did he have some of their mother in him? She felt like he was so opposite from him, and yet it drove her to love him more than her other siblings.
"Sedi..." she said, shaking her head softly. "I don't know. I'm not content, but I don't know what it is that I want. I almost want to find grandmother, but she hasn't been as available lately as I wished she was." A fogginess of cubhood memories pulled itself up, and she shook her head again to clear it.
"Being you're usual self?" she asked, a sly, tired smile appearing across her face.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 5:57 pm
Sedi might have been a loner but that didn't mean he didn't enjoy the interactions he did have, especially those he initiated. He even smiled when Kawani looked at him in surprise and shook her head.
"Sounds boring," he commented, shrugging when she accused him of being himself, "Nothing unusual to report. I'm no grandma but did you want some company anyway?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:02 pm
"Hey, you being you makes you like, the perfect spy!" Kawani laughed, though it wasn't as hearty as it might have been on a usual good day. "Yes, I would. I doubt grandmother would care to feed into my worries anyway, when she has enough on her plate."
Kawani glanced around, but it was obvious that there was no one too close to overhear them if they didn't speak above a normal voice. That was good.
"I'm just worried about Dad...he doesn't seem right lately. I'm worrying more than I should, but I can't help myself. It's not like Mom is going to cheer him up soon." Sometimes she wondered why it had to be her parents that were...in such a strange, stuck relationship.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:10 pm
"Hmmm, excellent point."
Sedi had never considered the concept of spying much, but then he was barely noticed as it was and the days he did hang around the clan, everybody carried on as normal anyway. He was brought back to the conversation when he realized Kawani was worried about something. He didn't say anything as she glanced around, keeping his pale eyes on her. As soon as she mentioned their father, he frowned.
"I haven't even seen mom today," he commented bitterly when she concluded with the observation that Madoa Waya was not very likely to be of any use in this situation, "Dad hasn't seemed right in a while, but I don't know what we could possibly do about it."
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:23 pm
"....really? You don't think something...that she didn't get herself in trouble, do you?" Kawani was so worried about her father that it was easy to switch the worry towards her mother. Sometimes she felt like she was so close to connecting with her, and then she couldn't hold onto that connection. Clearly she had a different opinion on her mother than Sedi did, but it didn't change the fact that their parents were not as lovey as many other married couples within the pride.
"Sometimes I wonder if we're all doomed to a life of mixed happiness."
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:30 pm
Sedi was puzzled by Kawani's unexpected reaction to his observation that their mother was not around the clan today. She always seemed to be off doing whatever she wanted, he didn't know if she ever got into any real trouble for it.
"I think we have a better chance with dad," he said, trying to change the subject back to Sado but failing to cut her off before she wondered aloud about happiness.
"I don't know," he said, almost indifferently but there was a touch of annoyance in his tone, "But mom and dad don't offer much hope to the contrary."
Then he paused, almost like he felt bad for saying it.
"Tsilihu seems happy," he murmured.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:34 pm
Kawani paused, thinking about what Sedi had said. Sometimes she wondered if her father would just leave them. He had told them that he was fron the Pridelands, and she understood that it wasn't terribly far from here. How hard would it be for him to grow tired of being here, and return to his own parents there? Kawani knew of no other world, and she didn't think that she could handle leaving her homelands.
"Yes....Tsilihu is happy. I hope that she stays that way. It would be good for our family to have someone like her to depend on."
Which just made her worry about Sedi. Would he ever be happy?
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:55 pm
Even knowing Sado was not born in the Ela'wadiyi, a fact that was hard to miss where he had so few tattoos compared to adults that were born into the pride, the idea that he might tire of his life here and go back to where he was from had never once occurred to Sedi.
"Yeah," he agreed quietly, wondering if any of their other siblings- or even Kawani- had shown any interest in marriage and family of their own. He might have taken it as a bad sign that only one of them seemed to be on that path but it wasn't uncommon to remain single, either.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:19 pm
"Hmph, maybe she'll have to teach me some tricks in attracting a male's attention," she said, flopping her head tuft of hair to the other side of her face. "I know I'm not bad looking, but I guess no one in Wolf is that interested in me."
She was trying to lighten herself up a bit, but sometimes she wondered if she'd ever be able to make Sedi truly smile. Oohh, she'd pummel him if she could, stupid boys!
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:26 pm
Sedi was surprised by the direction the conversation went, though he'd been thinking along the same lines himself. He paused, taking in what she said and looking her from head to foot before making a face.
"Have you really tried?" he asked, "It can't be that hard."
Even coming from the sad little family they did, it couldn't be impossible if that was what they wanted. Tsilihu had done it, though he didn't honestly know much about her mate or how they came to be together. It had taken him by surprise but now that it had happened once, he wouldn't be caught off guard again. Maybe.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:30 pm
"Hey! I've tried! I guess my heart just wasn't in it. I'm scared...that I'll just like, turn into Mom if I have cubs. I guess? I don't even know. Fear overwhelmed me at times."
Now she felt stupid, and she was so tired of being sad, but she just didn't know how to handle all of this. Her family drove her up the wall sometimes, and she was ready to find this happiness she felt that she deserved. She hoped that Sedi thought along the same lines.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:39 pm
Honestly, Sedi had similar fears- in fact, it was one of the first things that came to mind when he found out about Tsilihu getting married. While everybody kept the whole story quiet for their benefit, Sedi had his guesses about his parents and how they came to be married.. and he just couldn't imagine they were always the way they were.
But would agreeing with that fear make things better or worse for Kawani? He didn't know, so he decided to avoid addressing that particular aspect of what she said.
"You're way better than mom, Kawani," he said confidently, "You'll be a wonderful mate and mother, the kind that cubs should have."
Whatever his concerns were about genetic frailty of the mind, he needed to say it as much as he was sure Kawani needed to hear it. Maybe they ought to have taken Tsilihu's confidence in her marriage (he'd never once heard a complaint or worry from her) as a sign that it would be fine. For all of them.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 7:53 pm
Kawani smiled, more warmly than she had in a while. She didn't know how she'd survive without her brother Sedi to lean on. She knew that she could, if she had to, but....he made everything so much easier.
"Thank you, Sedi. If you have faith in me, then I must have faith in myself."
She took a deep breath in then, and exhaled slowly. "I feel better, thanks. What are you up to today, anyway?"
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