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 Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 10:52 am
Especially if I am not to post here. But I wrote something a few days ago, and I don't have anywhere else to put it.
I wish I could tell you the words in my heart
But I'm so scared, I can't even start.
It's only been days since I saw your face
You're already someone I just can't replace
Just once, look my way, hear my voice, let me say
Could you be the one I always wanted?
Eyes filled with pain, oh so haunted
What would erase that ache you hold
Making your defenses so crude and bold
Hold still and drop your walls
You're not alone after all.
The only courage I have is what I've borrowed
Dreading the day, waiting on the morrow
Close your eyes and hold on to me.
Who knows what fate wants us to be?
Let go of hurt and look around
It's not hard when it's love you've found.
I know it's not perfect for you and I
What is stopping from giving a try?
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:24 am
It's perfectly fine for you to post here and that's lovely. (:
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2012 11:29 am
<3 Thank you. I don't write much rhyme, but my creativity is up lately.
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Posted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:27 am
This is just where it belongs, dear. If you want then you could turn this into your regular poetry/story/paper thread.
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Posted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 6:03 pm
A stir in the night, a shift in covers, and I reach for you. Your side of the bed is cold. The pillows hold your scent still. Curling into them, I stifle a sob. Why are you not here? A flash of fear runs through me. Are you gone? Forever? Please, don't let it be so. The trembles start to break out as tears fall onto the cloth.
A moment later, you come into the room. Ask why I am crying. You wrap me in your arms and keep me safe, letting me sob into your chest. Finally, the nightmares run away. You're here. You are home. And, for once, my life isn't a disaster.
A visual that came into my head. Little shots like these haunt me.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:26 pm
Breathless anticipation
Waiting for you to walk into the room.
You light up when you see me
The butterflies in my stomach dance again.
I have to resist the urge to run to you
Throw myself into your arms
And cry all those cheesy words I could never avoid.
The most beautiful thing I've ever seen
Is in your eyes.
No one has ever loved me like this
So completely.
I know there are problems.
Consequences.
But for once in my life
I will take the opportunity.
I'm going to enjoy this
And be happy in your arms.
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Posted: Thu May 03, 2012 6:20 pm
Afraid
Taking a step out the door is more than I can bear.
There's too much out there
Too much that can hurt me
Just make it go all away.
I'd rather stay here
In my fantasy world
Where no one can hurt me.
Yet there is pain all the time.
The people I let in
The ones I let close to me
They have the ability to damage me past all recognition.
I let them hurt me.
You can always hurt me.
And I'm still so weak.
Through my own mistakes, I hurt you.
A vicious cycle of pain for us both.
I don't want to do this anymore.
To suffer.
To damage others.
Causing that look in your eyes.
I refuse to hurt you again.
I'll hide instead
In this place all my own.
That way no one will suffer again
Except to miss me.
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2012 11:12 am
Slap your head like that again.
Add another 'idiot' to my collection.
Hurtful words are nothing new.
They just aren't supposed to come from you.
Let another day dawn on your anger
And watch how much further I move away.
One moment of respite from the anxiety and pain
Isn't going to fix a constant spell of mean.
Communication has failed if I can't speak to you
And telling me you don't want to hear it
Is just proof of it happening again.
If you don't want me, tell me.
Your body has been screaming it for years.
Let me be free to find my own joy.
I won't hold this against you.
But I refuse to be the one to give up
Because I won't be what you, your family, she expects me to be.
I understand frustration.
That's when you get this way most.
And expect me not to take it personally.
But if you belittle me again
From your own ineptitude
We will have to talk.
I will not condemn my future
To generations of being used to this.
I will not let you make me feel stupid
When I'm smarter than you.
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Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 1:36 pm
Finally reached rank 18 on the Top Disciples list after factoring in so much information. It's such a busy system. Is it too much work for Josh? Would it help for me to take it off his shoulders? Rank 18 is impressive. I'm on the first page, and only 6 away from the Apostles. Only about a hundred more posts, and I should be very close to the bottom rung. The climb from there, though, is a torturous one. Moving to below Saber will take 2000 posts. With only 400 under my belt right now, I'm not sure how fast I can pull this off. What has been a sweeping conquest of ranks thus far will slow to a crawl since the space is so much greater.
I won't give up. I don't even want to think about what the number of posts I'll need WILL be to get to Queen when the time comes. Saber, you thinking about giving up that crown any time soon?
/rant
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 6:24 am
I guess you didn't see
Must not have known
Despite my heart before you
As you sat upon your throne
Selfish thoughts once again
I wanted you for my own
Hurt yet glad you are content
Now that your heart has home.
I will continue to wander
Leaving you with my best
I couldn't hurt you for long
But I cannot endure this test.
I still ache from hearing you cry
Shards of my heart crushed
But you cannot have us both
And my love will not be hushed.
Go be happy, love, light.
You deserve nothing less
I'll continue on my dark paths
And wish you everything else.
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 9:00 am
All these rhymes make me want to post some too.. biggrin
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 9:03 am
Go for it, Rhap. It's a great way for me to express emotion that I'm too tongue-tied to get out any other way. Especially to the people who I want to tell it to.
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Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 4:40 pm
Rip out my heart
And you're blind to the pain
It doesn't even take a word
To shatter me again.
I can't hear your voice
Or even think of you
Without flinching,
Almost begging to leave the room.
Why is there no resolution
No end to this tragedy
I want to write you out of my life
And for once be free
But you are at every corner
A smile, a greeting, right there
Take it and shove it
Because I don't want you to care.
Give me some closure
An end to this race
I guess after all is said and done
I was someone you could replace.
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Posted: Thu May 31, 2012 4:40 pm
I am utterly broken.
Being without you, even momentarily,
rips out my heart, still beating.
You are so hurt
Nothing I've done, can do
To heal you.
I feel so useless.
Am I just a replacement?
Am I only a light to focus on?
Does it really matter who I am?
You are enough that I don't care.
Even if my individuality is overlooked
I will still stay right here.
But I would love to hear you say
That I'm different from all the previous.
Until then, my heart will still race
and scream for you to hold it close.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 5:34 pm
Loneliness follows me
No matter where I go.
Even when I rest my head,
It all becomes as static, snow.
Surrounded by those who know my name
I still feel hollow
Won't someone please see through me
To find the source of all my sorrow?
The crowd is restless
Busy with it's own plans
I move with it just to hold on
Maybe, for one, I can...
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