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dances_with_scissors_27

PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:26 pm


User Image

Name: Lorelei Akazuki

Nickname: Lori, or Lor

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight

Meister: No meister

(I wrote this in Lorelei's point of view)


I am Lorelei Akazuki. My aunt is Azusa Yumi, a Death Scythe in charge of Shibusen's East Asia Division, and has the blood of the cross-bow. I am an only child, and my parents divorced and abandoned me when I was six-years-old, but I found out they only divorced for a reason; My dad was a strong Christian, and did not approve of witches, nor did he approve of me being a weapon...a scythe.

My dad divorced my mother, and left me with her. After which, my mother was enraged at my father's criticism and judgement. But not only my father's judgement pissed her off, other people judged us on the street too. She became so aggravated, she decided to train me to be come a demon god...a Kishin. My mother's name is Huey, and she used and trained me to become a dark weapon blooded Kishin, but the training and usage failed completely when I accidentally told her that I saved somebody from being killed by an evil human.

My mother gave up the dark training on me to become a Kishin, and decided to just train me in combat skills, physical and mental strength and skills...and it worked! I am proud of my success, but after that she sent me on missions to collect innocent human souls to help the First Kishin, Asura get out of his place from under the academy of Death City; DWMA. That totally failed since some witch named Medusa already completed her task with her witch criminal friends. After that, Huey tried to train me to become stronger than Asura but that failed when she found out that Asura was defeated by a powerful Meister who was known for her incredible courage; Maka Albarn.


My mother...my own controlling mother ditched me! She abandoned me because she thought it was my fault that we, or should I say she didn't succeed. I then decided to live on my own, not taking any crud from nobody. I got bullied a few times but I always stood my ground towards them and scared them off.

Serves them right, they run like babies! HA! But one day, I had gotten into a fight with a weapon. Of course, I won and the weapon ran off like the coward he was, but I was hurt...badly. Just when I thought and felt as if I was going to die alone on the streets, I met him. Death the Kid, Maka Albarn's friend...the one who helped defeat Asura Kishin. He was with his partners Liz and Patty Thompson. He took me in to the Nurse's Office and helped me and trained me...He even enrolled me as a student in DWMA. Of course, after I became strong and back to health again, I became very anti-social and negative. I absolutely REFUSE to talk to anybody...including Kid...

Weapon's Mode: Scythe
Abilities: Battle Ex, Crossing Slash(Scythe)
Battle Ex: Scythe Blade grows and turns into an X shaped scythe. Is just my size and I can slash or hit the ground to create a wave in the earth or the water.
Crossing Slash: Scythe blade grows and become an X-shaped scythe just like Battle Ex, but becomes twice the weight and size I really am.

Likes: Loneliness, Violence, Animals, The Arts (music, art, acting)

Dislikes: Loud, Bossy, Cocky People, Kidd's Symmetry Obsession, People Asking To Be Her Meister, Preppy Girls, people who care about friends or family (she doesn't understand why people care about friends or family beacause she never had any)

Personality: Lorelei is sarcastic, your kind of Badass, Goth Girl. Very antisocial, scared of people which is why it's hard for her to make friends but when she does she calms down, not the person people want to piss off

Height: 5"4

Weight: 115 lbs.

Hobbies/ Skills: Mixed Martial Arts, Flexibility, and Physical Strength and Fitness.

Good or Bad: She will be bad in the beginning, but will slowly turn good later.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:35 pm


Hey..if your sister made the bio, then tell her the bio makes no sense...
That and you didn't even use the proper weapon profile skeleton...

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:51 pm


[b]Name: [/b]
[b]Nickname: [/b]
[b]Age: [/b]
[b]Gender:[/b]
[b]Sexuality:[/b] (optional)
[b]Meister:[/b]
[b]Appearance:[/b] (human form)
[b]Weapon form appearance: [/b]

[b]Background:[/b] (History of one's character)

[b]Abilities: [/b] *Instead of just transforming into that weapon, shall we? If your making custom abilities give a description in LIST FORM*

[b]Likes:[/b] *LIST*
[b]Dislikes:[/b] *LIST*
[b]Personality:[/b] (SEntences or List)
[b]Height:[/b]
[b]Weight: [/b]
[b]Hobbies/skills:[/b] (Sentences or List)
[b]Whose side you're on:[/b] (Evil like Crona or Good like Maka?)

[b]Signature from the captain or a vice captain:[/b]

Copy this profile skeleton and use to re-make your profile.
The one you used isn't proper.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:59 pm


I don't mean to be an a**, but use the proper skeleton, and also no more children of Lord Death. I know people here try making him have lots of kids (Gal is ok, she makes her character fit in) but there's many people that try making their characters another one of his kids, or a clone of Death, or even a clone of Death the Kid.

No more kids of Lord Death

Kazuki Hanari

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dances_with_scissors_27

PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:12 pm


Kazuki Hinamori
I don't mean to be an a**, but use the proper skeleton, and also no more children of Lord Death. I know people here try making him have lots of kids (Gal is ok, she makes her character fit in) but there's many people that try making their characters another one of his kids, or a clone of Death, or even a clone of Death the Kid.

No more kids of Lord Death
im just saying this is my character I can make her be whoever I want and I did not come up with this idea, it was my sister's idea
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:14 pm


hellokitty3241
Hey..if your sister made the bio, then tell her the bio makes no sense...
That and you didn't even use the proper weapon profile skeleton...
again i hate to keep saying this SO EVERYONE LISTEN UP! LORELEI IS MY CHARACTER, SHE CAN BE WHO I WANT NOT WHAT YOU PEOPLE TELL ME!!!!

dances_with_scissors_27


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:27 pm


Yes we get that she's your character but we're just saying there was problems to the profile.
And why are you stealing the names from attacks from other characters? Can't you come up with your own?
Also, to have six weapons all that once and to have all that power...
That is considered God Modding I think...
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:55 pm


It MAY be your profile, but I don't have to approve it. (and neither does Ebony)

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:58 pm


hellokitty3241
Yes we get that she's your character but we're just saying there was problems to the profile.
And why are you stealing the names from attacks from other characters? Can't you come up with your own?
Also, to have six weapons all that once and to have all that power...
That is considered God Modding I think...
I completely agree.
Scythe, Pistol,Smoke Bomb, Death Sword, Bow and Arrows, Chain? Hell no. Choice one or none.

Genie Hunter: Death Cannon: Spiritual Slash: Death Arrow: Death Trap:
Be more original instead of copying peoples moves. The later 3 are ok, but don't go copying off of people
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:22 pm


Kazuki Hinamori
hellokitty3241
Yes we get that she's your character but we're just saying there was problems to the profile.
And why are you stealing the names from attacks from other characters? Can't you come up with your own?
Also, to have six weapons all that once and to have all that power...
That is considered God Modding I think...
I completely agree.
Scythe, Pistol,Smoke Bomb, Death Sword, Bow and Arrows, Chain? Hell no. Choice one or none.

Genie Hunter: Death Cannon: Spiritual Slash: Death Arrow: Death Trap:
Be more original instead of copying peoples moves. The later 3 are ok, but don't go copying off of people

Yup.
Well Tsubaki had four in her but she was an anime character. She passes.
But...you kinda crossed it. You can pick 1 or 2. Not six. That's an over kill. Hell. Not an over-kill. That's just god-modding!
We understand it's your profile but..there needs to be some editing done. Why not try editing the weapon and bio part?

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:27 pm


hellokitty3241
Kazuki Hinamori
hellokitty3241
Yes we get that she's your character but we're just saying there was problems to the profile.
And why are you stealing the names from attacks from other characters? Can't you come up with your own?
Also, to have six weapons all that once and to have all that power...
That is considered God Modding I think...
I completely agree.
Scythe, Pistol,Smoke Bomb, Death Sword, Bow and Arrows, Chain? Hell no. Choice one or none.

Genie Hunter: Death Cannon: Spiritual Slash: Death Arrow: Death Trap:
Be more original instead of copying peoples moves. The later 3 are ok, but don't go copying off of people

Yup.
Well Tsubaki had four in her but she was an anime character. She passes.
But...you kinda crossed it. You can pick 1 or 2. Not six. That's an over kill. Hell. Not an over-kill. That's just god-modding!
We understand it's your profile but..there needs to be some editing done. Why not try editing the weapon and bio part?
Tsubaki was a demon weapon or something like that. part of a special clan
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:30 pm


Kazuki Hinamori
Tsubaki was a demon weapon or something like that. Part of a special clan

Oh yeah that's right. She obtained the soul of a demon weapon, thus gaining control of three (Make that four since she took over Muramasa the demon blade)

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:34 pm


hellokitty3241
Kazuki Hinamori
Tsubaki was a demon weapon or something like that. Part of a special clan

Oh yeah that's right. She obtained the soul of a demon weapon, thus gaining control of three (Make that four since she took over Muramasa the demon blade)
Also Tsubaki's actually had a theme to them. Ninja themed.
this profile is just random things
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:42 pm


Kazuki Hinamori
hellokitty3241
Kazuki Hinamori
Tsubaki was a demon weapon or something like that. Part of a special clan

Oh yeah that's right. She obtained the soul of a demon weapon, thus gaining control of three (Make that four since she took over Muramasa the demon blade)
Also Tsubaki's actually had a theme to them. Ninja themed.
this profile is just random things

Agreed. This is just a random profile.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:41 pm


Well yeah, there are a few things wrong. No more kids of Death, I agree with Kazuki, and she can only be one type of weapon (Tsubaki is an exception because of her weapon type) and the some of the abilities names are copying those from the anime. You also need a picture or description. When that's all fixed, it may be okay to accept it.
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