Poppi needs help! How can I improve? ;o

[Angstbucket Edgelord]

Palantine

So I just joined Gaia at the beginning of this year, and I've since become absolutely addicted to roleplaying. I always get the idea that I might be forcing myself to handle too much, but hey - I like it ^^
I've been trying to vary my characters, personality-wise and gender-wise. I don't think I'm doing too good a job with the boys.
Oh, and please - be as harsh and critical as you possibly can. I promise I won't cry 3nodding Thanks so much for your time~

My first ever rp post. Ever.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXMιllιcεηт ∂ε Cαsтιllø
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX╔════════════⊰☪⊱════════════╗
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX{ A back alley } • { Silence }
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Me, myself and I to find out.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX╚════════════⊰☪⊱════════════╝
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxXXXXXXXXXXX____________________________________________☪________


The bass pounded, each boom quickening something inside her. What was blissfully silent to the cold world outside was her melody. Living out on the streets really wasn’t that bad – the night held no fears or annoyances for her. With her back against the cold stone of a wall, Millicent felt totally at home. A distant whirr of an engine cut through the music. Intrigued, she flicked the music off and sat silently, laying a hand on the ground. Feeling for that rhythm. Closer and closer. Footsteps.
She waited. Travelers passing through at this time of night were not unheard of, but these footsteps were different. They were cautious and wary, yet they marched on with a clear purpose. Millie guessed that they weren’t totally oblivious to the happenings in this part of the neighborhood. Until the door shattered with a resounding crash.
“What the ********.”
Millie walked out from the shade of a back alleyway, her crazily highlighted hair thrown into sharp relief in a pool of light from a streetlamp. She slid her multicolored headphones down to her neck, studying the assembled group curiously. Her eyes lingered on Zee, noting her obvious youth.
Then the boy started to stagger. Throwing all caution to the wind, she ran out into the street and grabbed the girl, pushing her through a winding maze of alleys. Turning, she made eye contact with the other boy, crooking her finger to beckon him to follow her.
“You retard,” she spat, looking down with contempt at Zee, “do you realize it’s Euthanasia you’re messing with?”

________☪___________________________________________

out.of.control➚➘➚Don't take life too seriously...you won't get out alive.

______________________________________________________________

Sorry, please don't mind the crappy formatting, I didn't have time to fix it.
And here are some more. I have a lot of characters, sorry for making you read so much!

↘❖╳❖ℑhe ℋatteR❖
☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳☳

˟There is a place. Like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger! Some say to survive it: You need to be as mad as a hatter.

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The forest itself seemed to part to make way for him, an inhabitant of Wonderland and one who could possibly help overthrow the Queen. The lopsided flowers and broad, colourful leaves curled outwards, skywards, clearing a path to the same spot where she'd fallen so long ago, with that confused look of irrational fear on her face.
No one knew exactly, but it had been Alice Kingsleigh's emotions that had cleared the path down to Wonderland for her. It was also speculated that she was somehow related to the White Queen, thereby making her heir to the throne - and a very good excuse for the Red Queen to have her head off.
It's pointless, really.
Clive stared up into the mahogany and lime swirls in the ever-changing sky, hopping the last few metres through patches of grasping vines to the spot - marked with an X. He'd done that himself a while back, and to this day, some forest creatures and the older generations still regarded it as a sacred spot, one that brought courage and luck.
Of course, though. That wasn't quite the exact route she'd come, merely a placeholder for his memory. Clive grinned and rounded the back of the small hill that stretched not far off into the morning mist. Under a curtain of ivy, there was another, smaller engraving in the aged stone.
"Alice in Wonderland."
The letters had worn away, so that the "c" in "Alice" looked more like a "v'.
Alive in Wonderland? An interesting concept, Clive mused to himself.
Then he climbed into the rabbit-hole, feeling for the first time in his twenty-five years the same rush of exhilaration that Alice had, stepping into a new world.
It was bright, the light that pierced through his eyelids. Bright and strange. Clive opened his eyes, which adjusted to the strange scene before him. Just had his world was new and fascinating to Alice, this world was his wonderland. But the surprise didn't hold him for long. He hopped nimbly to his feet, dancing down the rough rocky path as the eddies of wind brought colours and smells to his senses.
The winding path led him straight to the city center, bustling and merry. With his outlandish clothes, the Hatter received more than a few strange looks, but his natural air of ease carried him through most of these first impressions. The first few people he asked had no idea of the object of his search - The Kingsleighs. It was only the third time that he struck lucky, the young girl pointing him in the direction off a side road.
"My thanks, young lady," he called, tipping his hat and winking, watching the girl speed off breathlessly.
The landscapes around him changed as he travelled in said direction, hedges and plants transforming into a scene that was almost familiar, similar to the scenes of his own world. With a bemused smirk, Clive realised that he must be coming close, the very air reverberated with the essence of Alice.
Sliding up the side of a large, grand mansion, the Hatter let himself in through a side window, taking up all the space on the writing desk for a seat as he waited for the owner of the approaching footsteps to show herself.

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Which luckily I am.˟

⇏╳{{The Eternal Tea Party:.:.}}*˟˟*↸join us…

⇏╳{{Obnoxiously Ostentatious Cacophony::}}**˟˟↺Ohnoes, the picture size is terrible D: Imma change it soon.

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Flicking her fingers upwards in a derisive motion, Valerie deflected the punch that was coming her way.
"Listen, kid. I don't want to go, either."
With a last glance at the little girl, she closed the scrap of metal that served as a door, twirling the pendant of her necklace bitterly. Sixteen years. It had taken sixteen years for them to recognise that scum that lived, no, survived the challenges of their beloved Terra could rise to become one so important.
Vayle scuffled the loose stones along the broken path with the tip of her new shoes. Of course she'd have to be well-dressed, immaculate for the first meeting. The leaders and higher-ups in the village would only want her skills and her obedience, and for the girl to be presentable, nothing more. They wouldn't look past the exterior, at the years' worth of scars, both mental and physical, and the bloodstains that would never wash off Vayle's old clothes.
Turning the corner, she rapped thrice on the door, and then five times again, in a short, disjointed staccato. There was a grunt of assent from the depths of the blacksmith's workshop, and the glow of a steady flame coupled with the ringing of metal on metal.
Home.
Or at least the closest she could ever get to one.
She opened the display cabinet near the entrance, the key clicking in the lock. The sound was oddly final, a foreshadow of what was to come. Withdrawing several heavy loops of leather, as well as two sheathed daggers, Vayle unraveled the tangle and wound it around her waist, securing it with the ornate clasp. Another click. Another ending.
"Later, Marc," she called as the door swung closed. The girl and the blacksmith made it a point never to utter the word "goodbye", knowing that whatever the circumstances, they'd see each other again. Then again, they both agreed on so much - a defining factor in their friendship. Vayle stared fondly down at the pendant. Whatever s**t she'd have to face now, she wouldn't be doing it alone.
The ridiculously ornamented building was beginning to emerge from the trees and shadows of those around it - it's looming presence was not so much intimidating as it was ostentatious, and Vayle was sure that any enemy could spot it from within a twenty-mile radius. Shaking her head to herself, she let out a long gust of air, simultaneously checking straps and pouches to make sure that everything was where it should be. Last chance. This was it.
Reminding herself that she was here on an order and not to fight, Vayle mounted the snowy steps. Each clack of her heels against the white signalled to him that things were about to begin, a new chapter in her story unfolding, as clear as Leon's presence on the other side of the door.

I think I forgot to ask - just how literate is this rp? blaugh



Leon



Terra clan meeting spot





indentindentindent⋖⋘ɮɭȧҡϵ☣σƒ тнε cσвяαs ⋙⋗
indentindentindent↑⇅↓⇡❝Charge first, die, and never get a chance to think...❞

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The harlequin explosion of colors signaled the few minutes before the start of the ceremony, and it was then that Blake decided to take his leave from his vantage point overlooking the courtyard. Descending the worn staircase, he could already hear the chatter of excited discussions emanating from outside.
Just then, a girl breezed by, stumbling slightly on the uneven flagstone floor. She bumped into him, then quickly steadied herself, and Blake instinctively recognized her as her red tresses flew by. Adrianna.
”Sorry,” she mumbled, barely audibly. Adrianna hastened to step away, and Blake saw the look of disgust that flitted across her face.
“It’s no problem,” he caught her hand, “I don’t think we’ve ever talked much before, but the fact that it’s our last night really makes you think, huh?”
When the redhead didn’t answer, Blake let go of her hand and smiled, opening the imposing oak doors that led into the courtyard.
“After you, birthday girl.”

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⇏Never wound a snake; kill it.
⇏{{OOC::}} ;D It beginzz~! Where are the others?

Woah. >.< More next post!  

[Angstbucket Edgelord]

And then there's this:
I joined a friend's rp to take over a character because the roleplayer was busy and couldn't post. I just, erm. Borrowed her character, name, personality and all. ^^
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✥::{{Ȼɧєȿɧiяє ɖєȻȧȿtяσ}}::✥

"Here comes the sun, spinning around...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...put your feet back on the ground."
•˟•

"We're going to have visitors soon, from Dunb'ahl...at least one, I think. I don't know...either way, there's someone coming from that direction to us. But they don't look injured, so please be extra careful..."
The words suddenly ran through her mind again, unbidden. Now that the charm was complete and with its rightful owner, Cheshire's mind began to wander, as was her habit.
If that were true... no doubt that Terilandra would fight if need be, which made Cheshire all the more glad that she had given her the trinket. She herself had never understood the meaning for fighting - all the hatred and madness of these earth-dwellers sharpened into a spear point to strike the perceived enemy and draw blood. Pointless wars, so many killed. It was all human - or elemental nature.
Slowly refocusing as her silent soliloquy came to an end, Cheshire noted Terilandra's unwavering gaze at the miner's village, Halvard. Guardian of the Rock.
Grounded and practical to their very name, the village and Cheshire had kept a teetering relationship at first, with her choosing to live a little ways off on the mountain the village was named after. The hustle and bustle was welcome, though, and many a fine day, Cheshire and her companion had travelled down to the village center, spending time, trading their skills for materials that built up their home. Now, Terilandra and herself were always welcome to strike up a conversation with the locals, or watch them hard at work.
The cool wind that had blown 'Landra's hair awry was back with a last goodnight, as the last light of the houses were extinguished. However, there was always a few lanterns that lit up the mines with a beautiful glow - and the red lights that surrounded the guardhouse.
Turning back to Terilandra, Cheshire smiled as she realised how the girl's solitary action had brought on a whole train of thoughts.
"Let's go to Halvard tomorrow, shall we?"

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❇::Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?::
❇{{OOC::}} ^^ I was thinking maybe Shadow could be somewhere around Halvard and they could catch a glimpse of each other :3

Again, at a friend's request. I was a little unsure of this one.

{ADRIEL SONDERLEI}

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
.:.:.Yo, we make it big in this city when we round town
Yea, and we crank the music until the neighbors found out.:.:.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

The sky lightened overhead, and the sound of the forest slowly faded back into a louder range, just detectable to the dozing boy. That was, until the sound of teenage voices cut into his pleasant reverie.
Resigned to the end of his rest, Adriel kicked off against the tree he was leaning on, to find a ring of strangers gathered a few metres from where he was. There were two girls and a younger boy, with the same snowy hair as himself. A small smile twisted the corner of Adriel's lips - the sunlight glinting off the boy's hair made it look like spun silk. He sure was cute.
"By the way, I'm Katorin."
It sounded like introductions were being made, so at least Adriel knew he wouldn't be too far out of the loop. Making friends had never been his forte, but hey, talk to the girls a little and maybe they'd leave, and he could have some fun with the boy.
Adriel scuffled the dead leaves with the toe of his sneakers, making sure the other three would be well alerted to his presence. Running his hand through his damp silver strands, he joined the ring of newcomers, displaying a guarded smile as opposed to his normal frown for their benefit.
______________________________________________________________
.:.:.That we're famous, you name us, we shine like the sun
And the world wants to blame us for stuff we ain't done.:.:.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Where am I? razz inwheel Forest
Who am I with: three strangers.
What am I thinking:What a cutie.

ҥᾳȴѵᾳя

⇎ ≼≼ℋis ℛoyalℏighness ≽≽
{{↜Cowards die many times before their actual deaths:: but I am immortal↝}}

҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄✥ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄

There was something almost magical about this night, like the universe itself was congratulating Halvar on his victory. He mulled over this with a smirk, staring at the chessboard in the corner with interest. The ivory and ebony pieces made a pleasing contrast of shades on the satin-lined board.
"Commander Alfhild," he called, lazily, almost contemptuously to the guard at the door.
"Yes, your Highness?"
Halvard waved a hand at the chessboard and assembled pieces.
"Remind me again how these little horse-shaped ones move."
The guard stared at him with a look of utter shock, then quickly attempted to conceal it behind a martial frown.
"Certainly, your Highness. If I'm not mistaken, they can jump over the any other piece by two squares horizontally and one vertically, or two squares vertically and one horizontally, both backwards and forwards." He bowed, then returned to his normal post and stared rigidly ahead.

"A versatile piece, then," mused the King, flicking over a white piece absentmindedly. Then a glint came into his eye, and he quickly rearranged the chesspieces. The king and queen of the ivory pieces he smacked down into the middle of the board, surrounded by the six bishops, knights and rooks. All the white pawns were gathered into a disheveled heap off the board. For the black pieces, the king himself was surrounded by all his pawns, with a knight standing squarely in front as if to the challenge the whites.
"With all the civilians gone...the parallel is exact."
Sighing, Halvar stared at the solitary attacking piece on his side.
"A strong forking piece, that's to be sure, but to put all my trust on one piece would be...unwise."

҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄✥ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄ ҃ ҄

{Prove yourself} • {to be worthy of my rule}

OOC: You hear that? His royal highness needs pawns to play with ;o
Le triple bump post. I was just...trying to get a feel for these two character's tones! sweatdrop Ah, okay, you got me. I haz no life gonk Well, anyhow, its gonna be FUN FUN FUN but hard to juggle these two. Meh. YOU PEOPLE BETTER POST SOON. KTHXBAI~

XXXX<x{☾❂}} Search the skies>>

┊--------------------------------------┊

The night stretched on for as long as the eye could see, the red ribbon of the Fyrasvang river snaking past her village gates. Under the cold glinting moon, she could see the dim, shadowy shapes that made up the Royal Castle - a twisted grimace appeared on her face at the thought of such lavish royalty and poverty living side by side.
It was him who had sent her father to war. His Royal Highness, who had taken the lives of so many in the attempt to expand his area of reign. Disgust etched itself into her expression as she noted her mother smiling reverently at the grotesque, looming castle in the darkness, hands clasped over her heart. Tomorrow she would wake up to the same happy facade of her village, everyone praising the King for the supposed victory - praise him for what? Nothing ever changed, it was all the same to Ciel.
Something she'd been turning over in her mind for a while finally struck her again. Maybe everything wouldn't be the same, if it was up to her.
"We should sleep, mama, it's getting late," she gently guided the frail old lady back into the relative warmth of the shack. Bending over, she gently tucked her little sister under the covers with her hand-stitched doll, then closed the door after giving her mother a reassuring smile.
Careful to make as little noise as possible, she gathered her belongings that were in a heap by the door, filling her quiver with arrows and her bag with basic necessities. Briskly, she divided her personal savings, pocketing half and leaving the other portion in a stack on the table. All these, with her extra clothes and possessions, would be her last gift to her family.
Staring up at the red moon, she thought wryly to herself how it was an omen of a battle, and a bloody one at that. Maybe the war wasn't over yet. It was only when a tear streaked down her cheek that she realised what she was leaving behind, a life of memories, of superficial cheer, but genuine happiness nonetheless.
The steady breathing cut into her thoughts, and Ciel steeled herself. It was time. She opened the door into the shared bedroom and unclasped her necklace, winding it around the neck of her sleeping sister. Muttering a quick blessing, she took one last look at the peace on her family's faces, and smiled. Now, she could truly be free.

┊--------------------------------------┊

XXXXXXXXXXFootprints on clouds // leave your mark on the skies...

Wow, I'm rp-ing with myself. This has got to be the lamest thing ever. By the way, anyone got an idea for where Celandia should go (because I sure don't)? Maybe she could meet one of you on the road, but she won't be appearing often. And hell, I'm sorry for giving you such a big chunky bunch of crap to read, but no one was online and I was heck bored. redface

 

[Angstbucket Edgelord]

Aaaaaaaaaaand more.

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Rippling shadows cascaded over the dreariness, slicing fine rays of light in half. They splashed onto the luminescent quartz, refracting a prism of colours that cut into her consciousness.
Daylight.
What a terrible word.
The bright, fiery orb that rose higher over the rolling hills signalled only one good thing. Stella sighed. Humans. Soon they'd be making their way over to the crystal cave, out of plain curiousity, or even for vengeance. Stella had made sure that the body of the man she'd killed lay flat on the road, in full view of the random passerby, drained dry and burning in the sun. That corpse, too, would long have decayed, if not for the glimmering web of quartz that weaved fine strands, continuously bleeding her energy.
The reverberations increased in speed and strength - broken shards gave a delightful, almost musical tinkling as they struck each other. Stella closed her eyes, the smallest of smiles flickering across her lips. It was always wonderfully pleasant to watch the shock and lust flash through their expressions when the "corpse" of the dead girl among the crystal opened her eyes.
And the first of the brave adventurers entered, ducking along the narrow passageways, wide eyed mirrored a thousandfold in the sparkling quartz. There was a sharp intake of breath as he lowered himself, gripping a jutting ledge for support.
Stella's eyes flashed open, the crystal around her like a shot of adrenaline, sending energy straight through the human. He dropped to his knees, mouth agape with shock and terror as the ledge snapped. Flying shards pierced into flesh, painting the area with streaks of crimson. The beautiful clarity darkened, clouding over with a murky haze as veins of red flowed through the crystal, to the girl at the cave's centre.
Stella smiled.
This morning had proved to be rather tolerable, after all.
He stretched and opened his eyes, utterly refreshed from his short nap.
Papa? Ronnie? And where were all the others?
And he was up and on his feet, bobbing a steady rhythm on the burning stone path, his body taking him farther away from that familiar hill, to strange places he didn't want to go.
Pain and fear exploded in Clive's chest, as he desperately willed his lead-heavy limbs to return. Backwards, into the warm sunshine. Away from the icy gloom that threatened to leach the life from him. That tempting frostiness. It flowed into him as if the flood-gates of his inner desires had burst open, clawing away mercilessly at Clive's concentration.
A moment of darkness, muddled monochrome.
Then the crystal clarity of boundless power.
He held the glittering quartz aloft, marvelling at the harsh gleam of the gemstone.
Thank you, Stella.
A patronising, derisive laugh.
"Use it well, boy. Find her for me..."
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❝Because I can...❞

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❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈❈╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳╳

╳ ╸SENKA "Adal" Adalsteinn
╳ Well I'm just out of school, like I'm real real cool ╳ gotta dance like a fool ╳ got the message that I gotta be a wild one...╳

It wasn't often that a guy - any guy, could refuse a drink, fun and a chance to party. It was more than easy for Senka to try and snag a place to lay low while weeding out those pesky white hearts.
This one seems promising, she thought, the tiniest of smirks etched into her expression as the leader, chattering excitedly, led her and his crew to what looked like a run-down motel.
"Hey, big boy. This place is pretty dope," Senka called out in a sing-song voice, giving him a wink.
Obviously encouraged, the boy puffed out his chest and smirked.
"Yeah, baby. It's my dad's place, and in a few years it'll be mine."
Crashing through the door with a swagger and the air of someone who already owned the place, he was preceded by his gang, who all let out exclamations of reverence.
"Welcome," he spread out his hands, "to Motel 6."
"Let's party!" yelled a particularly obnoxious gang member, whose hair stood out it bright yellow tufts.
At this, someone hit the lights and turned up the radio, and a bunch of crazed teenage boys around her attempted to dance. Senka giggled to herself as she climbed onto a high countertop, kicking off her heels.
"Heads up, boys!"
She flipped up the champagne bottle she was holding, so that the bubbles inside began a frenzied ascent of golden clouds towards the cork. With a loud pop, the top exploded and Senka grinned.
It had begun.

˟ˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍˍ

╳ Gotta break it lose, gotta keep [color=#82C800:01c5d789  

[Angstbucket Edgelord]

Newest post~!

Light was hot and loud. Darkness cold and silent.
It was nighttime now, though Akane could only tell through the hushed sounds and chatter that had ceased. But the night wasn't completely silent, it was laced with a quiet hum, small vibrations and currents on the breeze that translated the world into a picture for her.
Vars wasn't around to tell her, teach her the "colours" that the people saw. So Akane sat quietly, taking it in through her senses. Rough wood, cool under frosty starlight and a sliver of moon. Tense and brimming as a pail of water, a drawn knife on bare flesh.
Then cold spun away, and a warm presence grew. It was familiar, and Akane kept her hands motionless on the closed tessan on her lap. Vars, with his distinctive aura of almost...nothingness, had returned. Fondly, she remembered their first encounter. It had surprised her, his ghostlike presence. Much like the souls of the dead that drifted unceasingly on into the dark infinity, there was nothing. Devoid of sound and feeling. Almost like herself, trapped in this dark world that was her mind. So much like herself, in fact, that'd she'd been willing to share her blood, and with that, her gift.
And then the boy's aura flickered - fear replacing the calm that Akane had liked so much, before the metal cut across their clasped hands and the warm liquid mingled.
They were bound, in their contract of blood and their intertwined destinies, each unable to let go of the other in their quest for what they were both missing - a Heart.