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 Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 10:16 am
It was a cult, no matter how hard she kept trying to tell herself it wasn't. Ofelia's thoughts about it from before, her mini-self-speech in her room having happened, didn't help sway her thoughts away from it. A cult was a cult was a cult and she was in the middle of it.
But did cults try to save the world? Most of them wanted to go to a better place and do drugs, not die killing monsters and other ridiculous things, so. . . okay Ofelia's head was starting to hurt thinking too much about this and Rue's words didn't really help settle any fears.
You've join a cult. Ofelia didn't want to hear that. You're going to be sacrificed to some crazy god because you're probably one of the only virgins here. Ofelia didn't want to hear that either but that did sort of answer her question about everyone in cults sleeping around. It also did explain all the touching and feeling and general lack of personal space people had towards one another. Maybe you should go and talk to one of the others in your section of the cult. You know a few, don't you? I mean, perhaps someone will take pity on such an inbred, backwoods, retarded hick like yourself that they may tell you.
Taking into account that Rue may or may not have had a good idea Ofelia decided to seek Jordan out (she knew he was in her group and for now she was avoiding Rep until she got stronger). She didn't know where he liked to lurk but, as she'd been likely to do herself, she assumed he'd either be in his room or the training grounds. Seeing as she just left her room she decided the dorms would be the best place to check and her steps carried her up and down the hallway as she looked for his name plate.
" . . . his name is Jordan, right? Wasn' that it?" Ofelia paused and raised her hand against a door, asking the question to her weapon before knocking anyway.
Why are you asking me? Sweet mercy hick you really are retarded.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:31 pm
Jordan had been in the middle of changing into his workout clothes; he answered the door barefoot, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and looked faintly surprised to see her. "Hey, Ofelia. What's up? I haven't seen you around for a while."
People did disappear, now and then, for one reason or another; missions, or sometimes back to sleep in the pods, but that didn't bear too much thinking about. Or, more often, it was just that schedules and duties and coincidence kept acquaintances from running into one another for weeks on end. It was always good to see a friendly face again, though.
You worry too much, Ferros said lazily.
Yeah, well, your mom.
I still do not understand how my parent is in any way relevant to the conversation.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:22 pm
Ofelia sighed deeply when she noticed him, looking normal and not covered in strange tattoos or anything else that might make her think more than usual that this was indeed a cult. For what it was worth in her mind he looked completely normal, completely health, and totally not branded with the sign of some weird deity or master father-figure they'd need to be worshiping.
Get off it. This is not a cult. Ofelia didn't trust Rue. I don't trust you either so at least that is one thing we agree on. As of late the screeching tone to Rue's voice had edged itself out, like she was waiting on something instead of just feeling like tearing Ofelia a new one. Maybe it was because the knuckledusters knew something Ofelia didn't, like the fact Ofelia was going to die during this battle that was coming. Or maybe it was because they were now in front of a guy and Rue liked guys. Ask him to take his shirt off.
"Ah am not gonna ask 'em ta take his shirt off." Ofelia still hadn't quite mastered that 'talk in your head to your weapon' deal but it usually wasn't much of a bother.; Her thoughts never amounted to much anyway. "Jordan, it's good ta see ya too Ah have a question." There would be no beating around the bush. "Did Ah somehow join a cult? Please tell me Deus Ex is not a cult."
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:24 pm
Jordan blinked and stifled a laugh at the first statement. Had Ofelia wanted him to know what Rue had suggested, or had she just not yet gotten used to silent conversations with her weapon yet? "Sorry, Rue," he said. "If you'd caught me a few minutes earlier, maybe."
The question caught him off guard, and he just stared at Ofelia for a few second, totally nonplussed. "No," he said. "Paramilitary organization, but not a cult. Unless the brainwashing's really, really good. Er, I'm joking on that last part," he added, just in case she was about to take him seriously.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:58 pm
Ofelia took him all kinds of seriously.
" . . . .was that what happened ta us in the pods? We got brainwashed inta thinkin we're in a military group but really it's a cult where we're gonna go out an' die for the sake of that one guy wit' the scythe?" Okay there was no reason for the teen to include him in her ideas but it made sense - everyone seemed to either fear or hate him which made him the head dude of the organization, right? Plus he had everyone's numbers on his phone for those weird text messages. Even if Jordan was saying he was joking maybe they'd been programmed to say it just in case someone caught on and started asking questions like she was.
You're super paranoid, oh my god. What the hell is wrong with you. Rue sounded utterly disgusted by Ofelia's thoughts, though maybe she was more than amused at how she seemed to easily panicked. It was a hard sell and seeing as she was only a voice Ofelia didn't know what expression she might have been using to make her statement. An expression too good for your eyes, hick. It appeared that they didn't need to talk, Rue read Ofelia's thoughts just fine.
Ofelia placed a hand to the side of her ear and poked her finger in it, like she was trying to get Rue to shut up. It was a moot gesture. "Ah jus'....Ah f'gur this is a cult on account'a our matchin' jackets, believin' in a greater good, an' the cemetery." None of those things lead to a cult.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:11 pm
Ferros was laughing hysterically. Jordan managed to close his mouth and rearrange his expression back into pleasant conversation face from the did you really just say that face. "No, that was a joke, really," he said. "See, if we were brainwashed into mindless cult behavior, we wouldn't be able to wonder if we were brainwashed, would we? We'd just be zombieing along for whatever the heck it was." Flawless logic. Well, no, not really, but it might convince her, anyway. He shook his head. "If uniforms, believing in a greater good, and cemeteries make something a cult, then most of the world's militaries are a cult," he pointed out. "Is the U.S. Army a cult?" Although now that he thought about that ... no, not going there right now.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:24 pm
Ofelia was so dead serious about it that it was good that Jordan wasn't laughing at her or she may have had the serious urge to punch him in the gut and not regret a thing. It was just painfully obvious the more that people spoke to Ofelia the more that she was naive and had lived a somewhat sheltered life, raised by a crazy aunt and an overprotective older brother. She'd never watched television in her life, save for the times it was on at school to broadcast things, and she'd never had a cellphone or a music player. Her grasp of movies where from things she'd manage to watch while sneaking out with her brother or reading them in books she got at the library. ( She didn't read often which explained her weird taste in subject matter )
"Ah jus'. . . . people were talkin' 'bout the end'a the world. Sommin' like that. . . . " For once the usually upbeat Sunnie looked worried and nervous, like something was wrong and she couldn't put a finger on it. "Ah dunno why but thinkin' on that an' thinkin' on everythin' we do Ah have no reason not ta think we're a cult. Ah mean, we've got this weird belief that monsters an' such are real, right? No one else but us believes that."
It wasn't so much a belief as it was knowledge that they were real - Ofelia had seen them and punched them before after all.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:31 pm
Jordan nodded; the explanation of why, exactly, she thought this might be a cult made more sense. "Do you trust your own eyes and ears?" he asked. "Your own mind? You've seen monsters, and you know your weapon is real. She talks to you. That's not faith; that's observation. That's something you've seen and heard yourself. Make sense so far?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:52 pm
"Yes an' no. Part'a me wonders why Ah accepted a voice in mah head so readily, almost like Ah was jus' told ta do it an' then jus' accepted it so easily an' naturally. B'for when Ah'd hear the voices Ah was always scared an' Rue's voice sounds the same as theirs. Ah know she usedta be one'a 'em which makes me wonder even more." Rue...actually couldn't argue that point. She'd never expected Ofelia to say something that had logical backing and for once was rendered somewhat speechless. "Askin' me ta believe is easy cause, well, Ah will always believe what Ah see. Trustin' what Ah see an' what Ah do are two differen' things."
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:05 pm
"What can you believe and trust if you don't necessarily believe what you see and do?" Jordan started to lean his shoulder against the doorframe, then blinked and smiled. "If we're going to debate philosophy and sophistry, I'm not going to make you stand in the hall for it. Come on in." He moved back so that Ofelia could enter the room.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:17 am
Ofelia had never been invited into someone's room, other than that whole weird sleep-over that she didn't want to talk about on account of everything that had happened there. So many people being drunk, so much talk of strippers and that weird face stuff. Cults did sleepovers, right? Oh man she really didn't want to think about it now.
Go into his room, hick. You look retarded standing in the middle of the hall like this with him offering. Rue's voice was a commanding purr - she certainly wanted to be inside Jordan's room because it was the room of a male and Rue liked guys. Plus maybe seeing Ofelia panic and squirm was overly amusing to her and she wanted to drive it further. Well? The teen didn't hesitate pass that and she stepped into the room, mumbling an awkward sound of thanks before taking a chance to glance about.
"Sorry if Ah'm botherin' ya wit' all this, Ah jus'. . . .didn' know where else ta go. Ah dun have any friends here Ah think Ah can talk to." Saying that felt like a painful sting. Ofelia never had friends to start with but at the very least she wanted some here. Sure she knew a lot of people, could they be counted as friends? The teen wanted to count them as friends but unless they considered her one back then the feelings - like they were most of the time - were horribly one-sided.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:38 am
The room was spare, as with most trainees' quarters; the only personal touches were a couple of small framed photos and an eclectic collection of books on the shelves beside the bed. Jordan pulled his chair out from under his desk and turned it to offer to Ofelia, then sat down on his bed. He didn't close the door; Ofelia looked nervous, and she'd probably be more comfortable if she didn't feel shut in. "You're not bothering me," he assured her. "I don't mind talking, and I might not know you very well, but you're Sun too; if you need help, you can come to me." She'd make more friends, he was sure, but having someone to talk to in the first place would help her feel better and settle in.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:26 pm
"Ah'll seek ya out but Ah dun wanna be a common sight ta ya. No one likes a goldfish droppin' followin' 'em 'round." Ofelia took a seat at the table before casually glancing at the photographs. She was curious enough to take a look but not quite curious enough to really want to know what was going on there - the personal history of others interested her but getting told off for being nosy sure as hell didn't. Now seated she tucked one of her ankles behind the other and leaned forward, her chin resting on her fingers while her elbows pressed into her thighs. "Are we supposed ta feel a kinda loyalty ta others in our group, in our sun section? 'Cause there's one'a'us Ah'd like to punch in the mouth a few times b'for Ah decide we can be friends. Or sommin'."
That statement had come at the end of Jordan saying she was a sun and therefore could talk to him. She was referring to Rep, of course, but saying his name out loud made her feel like she was talking about someone behind their back and Ofelia didn't really like doing that. She preferred to badmouth someone to their face since reactions were more honest and it stopped things from being blown out of proportion. Plus she could dodge a fist better if she knew it was coming for her in the first place.
She leaned back from on her hands, her elbows leaving large red circles on her legs from the pressure. Inside her head Rue was buzzing about being in a man's room, about the smell of manliness that she adored. Ofelia had no idea what she meant but was rather okay with that. "Anyway, ya asked me if Ah believed and trusted what Ah was doin' an' the truth is Ah dun really? Ah knew what Ah'm doin' an' things like that but half the time Ah'm surprised at mahself fer doin' it. Like summonin' a weapon from a bracelet, or punchin' a ghost dog. Takin' a few steps inta a portal an' endin' up in Alaska - stuff like that. Ah see, but dun really believe. Call me stupid."
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:10 pm
The photographs seemed to be family pictures; one of the boys pictured in them was probably Jordan, though in the photos he was younger and blond, never far from a smaller boy who hung back shyly in his shadow. "A goldfish dropping?" He laughed. "Never heard that one before." More seriously, he went on, "There's some weird division politics in the higher ranks, but most of us feel a certain amount of pride in division. A loyalty thing, I guess. That aside, as an intermediate Sun, I'm technically your senior, and since it's not always easy to get hold of ranking Suns, I try to help out where I can. It's better now that Allan's back, though." He paused. "You're talking about Rep, right? He's an a*****e, but once you beat him up he's an okay a*****e, generally. Don't let him intimidate you. He's mellowing out somewhat." He nodded thoughtfully. "I don't think you're stupid," he said. "It's hard to believe a lot of it. I guess the most basic change in everything is accepting that magic is real and can work; it's a pretty big assumption to swallow when you haven't believed it most of your life. Harder, maybe, if you were trying to tell yourself that the shadows weren't real."
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:28 pm
"These yer family? Sorry fer askin', jus' didn' think people would bring much personal stuff wit' 'em. Ah came wit' only the clothes on mah back, no shoes on mah feet." Curiosity had gotten the better of her after all. The photographs made her feel a bit...lonely for home, perhaps. She thought often of her brother (not at all about her aunt) and sometimes even found herself trying to remember the faces of her parents. They were still alive back in Colorado but hell if she remembered anything about them, like their names or voices. Her brother had dark brown hair, hers was red - did one of her parents have red hair? Man, she needed to remember eventually but there wasn't a way for her to get in contact with her brother to even know. "Ah wonder if mah brother is worried 'bout me, or even cares. We didn' really part on the best'a terms." If she recalled correctly she'd told him to 'eat a d**k and choke on it' before he called her a lying b***h and went off with her aunt. Yeah, not the best of terms at all.
Conversation turned to Rep. Ofelia's face visibly soured but it came back easily enough. "Oh, Ah dun hate Rep or anythin', Ah jus' think he needs ta either get laid or jus'. . . well, maybe get laid. Mah brother used ta say that was a cure for everythin' that happened ta make 'em grouchy so." Ofelia rubbed a welt that was slowly healing against her arm, a pause in her conversation before she continued. "We've spared once b'for an' he kicked mah a** but he was nice 'nough ta bring me an' mah eye ta the hospital place. Ah suppose he's jus' got issues like all'a us here." None of them would be at Deus if they were normal, right? Hadn't Sydney said that before?
"Ah never much saw things after the accident that took mah eye but Ah could always hear their voices. Up until the night Ah burned down the barn and the buildin' at school Ah could hear 'em." Oh man, she'd almost forgot about burning down the barn. Did the fire spread and get the house? She sort of hoped it did, damn biddy would deserve to return from her card game to a pile of rubble. "When Ah came here an' was told ta put faces wit' the voices it didn' make me feel any better - it made me feel worse. Knowin' the voices in mah head weren' jus' mah imagination, that there were things - with families'a there own - behind 'em made me. . . sorta pissed?" Probably not what he thought she was going to say, but whatever. Maybe if she'd always seen things then she wouldn't feel pissed, she might feel relief. "Jus' how many'a the things are out there an' how many'a us have joined ta take 'em down?"
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