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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:27 am
Alex sat alone, in Yin's bedroom, knee's pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his legs. His forehead was rested on his knee tops, his face hidden from view.
He wasn't sure why he was here, why he had come back after he'd gone out on a search for Yin. He'd waited here all day, after the weremantis said he was going out for a morning jog. Waited until he couldn't wait anymore, waited until the worry that had wormed it's way inside of his brain and clenched a fist around his heart couldn't be ignored anymore. Yin had been gone for hours. Hours. What could possibly have happened to him, to make him stay away for so long? None of the idea's that had popped into Alex's brain were pretty, and almost all of them too horrible to think about for long.
And so, he had left the room, for a time, intent on finding Yin, or on finding whoever it was that had taken him away, since clearly the other boil must have been abducted to have not returned yet, or to not have at least made an effort to somehow let Alex know where he was. It took everything he had in him not to go stumbling out of the room as fast as his clumsy, stiff legs could carry him. He kept a level head though, despite how much he wanted to panic, tried to think things through. If Yin had gone for a jog, what route might he have taken? Would have have gone anywhere else? Maybe he'd gone to town to get some food, or do some shopping. Well, no, he'd require more money for that then Alex was led to believe he had. The creepateria then? Well, that wouldn't really account for hours of missing weremantis, unless the food was really just so delicious the mantodae couldn't tear himself away. He might have been out visiting a friend, sitting in their dorm room and losing track of time, but how would Alex ever figure out where to begin looking for him in that case? Danny's? Xui's? He'd never been to either of their rooms before, so finding them would be pain.
There was really only one place left that Alex could think to look, though he couldn't figure out why the weremantis would be there either. Oh well, he would have a glance in the gymnasium first, because it couldn't hurt.
Except that it had hurt.
Though first he had felt relief at the familiar sight of green and brown, It had somehow hurt as well. He had approach the double doored entrance, taken a quick peek inside, only to see Yin was in fact there, but he was sparring. The mantodae looked beaten, worn down, in pain, yet he continued to fight. How long had been here? Surely not all day..not since early this morning...He wouldn't have left Alex, alone and worried, all day long, just to do this...
But the proof was right there, in front of him, and even though he didn't really understand it, and didn't quite understand why he felt this pain in his chest, he backed away silently, not bothering to go inside and interrupt. Instead, he left, headed back outside, mulling over his troubled thoughts, heading towards the undead dorms to feed and spend time with his pets, before making his way back to the monster dorms once more.
Where he continued to wait for Yin. And wait. And then wait some more. The zomboil hadn't eaten all day, though he for once didn't really have much of an appetite. He hadn't really moved, since returning either, just curled up with his knees against his chest as he was now. Just waiting, wondering what was going on, upset that Yin wouldn't have come back yet. Worried that he had done something wrong and that Yin didn't want to be anywhere near him right now.
A sound on the other side of the door had him rising his head, his eyes blinking as he glanced outside, where the sky was darkening, then back towards the door.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:05 am
Yin had left that morning with the intention to go for a run, and perhaps find a spar or get in some exercise at the gymnasium. He had not planned on having a realization that shook him to his very core, or the accompanying waves of guilt and disgust each time that his mind drifted to the memory of it all. At some point he thought about Alexander, but...he simply could not face him. Not now. Not like this. So he just kept searching for fights. After Lady Hel had been El Greco. After him had been Mort. And then someone else and so on and so forth. Yin had taken enough hits that he was exhausted, though he took a shower at the gymnasium to freshen up and carefully rewound his bandages to cover up any blatant damage. He winced and curled inward somewhat around his battered midsection on the walk back to the dorm room but as he drew near he forced himself to stand up straight, determined not to let the zomboil know what had happened.
If he knew...if he knew how Yin had been fighting, what thought had crossed through his mind, he was sure that Alexander would be upset by it. And there was the very real possibility that he would not understand, either the motive or why Yin had actually done it. All he could say was that...it was necessary. He had to do it. Every lull between the battles, every second that he had alone to think simply made it worse
Now that he was actually outside the door he was realizing that it had probably not been his best idea to disappear all day. Which was ridiculous, he to himself. Since when could they not spend a day together separateness. The obvious answer was "since the trials" but he refused to give that thought much consideration. There was nothing to do about it now. So he simply opened the door and walked in, a carefully happy expression on his face. "I must apologize that I took so long. I had not intended to be gone for that amount of time." Nothing wrong here, nothing to see, move it along. Try extremely hard not to wince as that step sent a jolt of pain protesting throughout his body.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:25 am
He heard the movements outside the door, and his arms moved up to cross around the tops of his knees, his head lowering down so his chin was resting with arms encircling, hiding half of his face. His eyes were visible though, and they watched the door, watched it as it slowly opened, as Yin walked in, smiling as though leaving for an entire day without telling Alex any of his plans was perfectly normal.
That thought actually took him aback a bit. Maybe this was perfectly normal. Maybe he had just gotten too used to being with Yin nearly all day every single day since the trials. Maybe...maybe Yin was sick of it, and ready to go back to the way things were and Alex shouldn't have sat here waiting all day. That sudden realization made him unsure of himself, the words that he had wanted to say to Yin when he finally returned slipping out of his mind.
But something still just seemed..off. Things had seemed off since yesterday, after Alex and Yin had had their spar. Was something about that fight bothering the other boil? Was he just upset that Alex had won, (even though Alex was still fairly sure the weremantis had thrown the fight, in the end) ? Maybe that's why he had been sparring in the gym.....but all day long?
Yin was speaking now, and Alex didn't know how to reply. He kept his head lowered, kept his eyes trained on the other boil, trying hard not to show how upset he was, how confused this situation was making him.
"I...I had thought you would have been back sooner..." he said, quietly. "You know, if you have better things to do Yin.." like getting yourself pummeled in the gymnasium all day, "...you...you can just tell me and I will leave." Instead of sitting here all day, waiting..not knowing..worrying..
And suddenly, he was asking Yin a question. He didn't know what possessed him to ask it. Perhaps he just wanted to see how Yin would answer, if he would at least grace Alex with the truth. "Where were you?"
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:51 am
"I do not mind if you are here Alexander, though if you have somewhere that you need to be you should not let me hold you back." Alexander seemed mainly curious with where he had been though. And there was no reason not to answer that question really. There was nothing particularly unusual about being in the gymnasium after all, even though right now he almost felt as though there was some reason that he was supposed to feel ashamed.
So in an almost too casual tone he answered. "When I left I simply went for a jog around the campus, and then I found myself in the gymnasium. I had not realized I had been gone for quite so long." That part was...somewhat true. He knew it was later, he had not been expecting it to be dusk when he returned but late afternoon surely.
It hurt to stand there, without hunching over, stretching the muscles more than they wished to be stretched, so he moved over so that he could perch on the edge of the bed, trying not to show how relieved he was now that he was no longer standing. "I am sorry if I should have informed you. It was not my intention when I left this morning to be gone so long." He was trying to be careful with how he phrased things. Yes, this morning he had just planned to go for a jog. It had not been until later that he had decided he wanted to do anything but return.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:18 am
Yin's first answer didn't sit well with the zomboil, and he felt like shouting at him, but instead he said, in a surprisingly calm tone of voice.... Okay, no, it was perhaps a little bit cold, and there may have been some small traces of irritation evident. "The only thing that held me back, Yin, was the thought that you were actually planning on returning at some point today, and that you would have wanted to spend time with me. Obviously that was wrong of me to assume, but If I'd known that wasn't the case, then I would have gladly gone elsewhere." Okay, Ya, apparently he was deciding to settle on resentment right now.
If Yin's first answer didn't sit well, his second one left the zomboil feeling positively ill. Though at least Yin had apologized for it, in the end. That had to be worth something, right?
He shrugged in response. "So you said." he practically grumbled, shifting uneasily in his spot, then raising his head, uncrossing his arms, and unfolding his legs with a sigh.
Time to tell the truth, and try to figure out what the hell was going on with his boilfriend,
He scooted himself forward, then turned his body and continued his movement until he was also perched on the edge of the bed, sitting next to Yin, placing his hands in his lap, and then turning to look at Yin before speaking. "I didn't actually stay here all day. I got worried, and I went looking for you. I saw you in the gym, saw you fighting or sparring or whatever you want to call it." He eyed the weremantis's face, reaching up to lightly prod the area on his jaw that he had punched the day before. It looked worse now then it had this morning, which either meant something was terribly wrong, or Yin had been hit there again. He pulled his fingers away as though they had been burnt, and then continued to speak.
"Yes, I would have appreciated knowing where you were or at least knowing you wouldn't be coming back. I would have also appreciated being told the whole truth, but since I hid the truth from you as well I can't really be all that judgmental but..." He stopped, he had pulled his fingers away but now he was reaching up again, concentrating his fear, brushing his fingers against that swollen area of jaw and attempting to at least help ease some of the pain it must have been causing.
He brought his hand away again, and frowned, not even bothering to hide the hurt and confusion from his eyes anymore. "Can you just tell me why? Please? Why would you put yourself through this all day? Is it because of me? Because of our..spar, yesterday?" Yin had said that they would take that spar slowly, to make it easier on both of them, but it hadn't quite turned out how Alexander had planned. And now Yin was just throwing himself into fights, getting himself hurt, not seeming to care about Alexander...
..Which only made his heart ache all the more because he knew how much he really, truly cared about Yin.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:30 am
Yin knew that leaving all day had been the wrong...or at least, he knew it now. It had not seemed terribly important at the time, not when faced with everything else he was thinking about. And well, despite the past few days he was not really accustomed to just living with one other individual, of having someone that might actually care what he did and where he did it...or when he would return. But the way that Alexander said it made him cringe, though he tried not to let it show too much.
Alexander was moving forward, so perhaps he was not as upset as Yin feared. His words went straight through Yin, and it was impossible to completely hide his dismay. No, Alexander was not supposed to know about the fights. He just somehow had known that he would not approve, and that it would be better for them both if he kept that information hidden. But the zomboil had been worried enough that he had sought him out.
He knew.
Though how much he knew Yin really did not know. There were cold fingers prodding at his jaw and this time he openly winced as pain shot through his face, the area not properly healed. Yes, he should have gotten word to Alexander. But he had no way of really contacting him. Not without facing him, and that had been something that he had been distinctly trying to avoid. Telling Alexander he would have been gone would have completely invalidated the purpose of being gone in the first place. He had needed time away. Time to not think. The walk back to the dormitory had been bad enough, and that had been with aches and pain to distract him.
The fingers on his jaw this time were offering Fear and soothing, and it was all he could do not to lean into them or let out a light moan of relief. His own Fear was working hard just to keep him functioning properly, and he had not taken the time or energy to really heal anything. If only the conversation could have ended there.
"No," he said quickly, perhaps too quickly. He could see the pain in Alexander's eyes now, and it hurt to know that he was the one causing that. "It was not because of our spar." Well, not the majority of it. His spar with Lady Hel had certainly come from that. So really, in a round about way, it was because of that, not that he would admit it to the zomboil. But there was what he could tell, and what he was willing to tell, and that was what he had to decide right now. "I simply...I encountered Lady Hel this morning and wished for a spar. She is quite skilled. And then...well....something else came up. But it was not terribly important, nothing that you need to be concerned about and, well, I decided to stay in the gymnasium a while longer." It was all true. To some degree. And maybe he was hiding something, or rather, avoiding it, but that was okay. Really, Alexander could not possibly wish to know what he had been thinking about today. If he did not know it would be for the best, and if Yin could save him from that he would.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:05 am
Alex flinched back when the 'No,' came out of Yin's mouth, because it was said too quickly, too hastily. And there again, Alexander wasn't sure he believed Yin. He was hiding something, there was something he wasn't telling. The question now was, would Alex leave it, and just let it rest...
...Or would he be his usual stubborn headed zombie self, who was now so focused on figuring out what was going on he didn't care who the answer hurt, or how much it did?
"Something...came up..." This was familiar, this was really a lot like the time 'something came up' and Yin had not shown up at the library that day. Alex had spent and entire night looking for the other boil then, again, worried that something horrible might have happened to him. But back then they had just been friends. Best friends, but just friends nonetheless. Now Yin was so much more then just that to him, and if something was bothering the other boil, he wanted to know what it was, so he could try and fix it, and try to make him happy.
Emotions were still conflicting inside of him. He felt relief that Yin was okay, even if he was physically beaten. He felt frustration that the weremantis had put him through this stress and worry for a second time, after he thought the first time he had made his feelings about doing things like that pretty damn clear. He felt angry that Yin was clearly hiding something from him, something likely more serious then the other boil was letting on. It had to be pretty damn serious, to keep him from Alex's side all day long, and to let himself get so beaten up over.
"A while longer...right." He scoffed. A while longer had turned into and entire day. How many spars could the weremantis have had in a day? His head was starting to hurt. A stress headache, perhaps? Whatever it was, it was making it hard to think, which was again, quite reminiscent of the spar they had had, the morning after he had spent an entire night looking for Yin.
That wasn't a spar, that was almost a massacre...
But Alex had controlled himself then, in the end, and he would control himself now, no matter how much he wanted to growl, to rage, to punch his fist through a wall. Why didn't Yin want to tell him what was going on? Why was he hiding things? Did he hide things from Alex like this all the time, and Alex was just too blissfully content to care or notice?
"Tell me." he said, his voice suddenly flat, his stare suddenly hard. "Tell me what it is that was not so terribly important, but was important enough to avoid me all day. Tell me, because if you don't, It's going to drive me crazy." There, that was the truth too, though he was more tempted to say 'tell me or I'm leaving right now, and I don't know when I'll be back' because honestly, if Yin kept acting like this, Alex was going to lose control, and things were going to get out of hand.
And at that point? It would probably be in both of their best interests if Alex took some time away to cool off.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:26 am
Alexander was not taking it well, and Yin really was not sure how to deal with it. Why did he have to be accountable? Could he not just spend one day on his own without having to check in and get permission? Even as he thought it he knew he was being defensive, trying to shift the blame to Alexander when it was clear to them both that he was the one at fault.
Tell me.
He met the zomboil's eyes after he said that, trying not to flinch at the look his bonded was giving him. "I-I was not avoiding..." he started to stammer, stopping when he knew it was pointless and also because he knew that it was not really the truth. He had been. "There was...there was something on my mind that I did not wish to think about. I just...I needed some time to work it out. I did not want to give myself time to think about it."
No, no that was not good enough. He knew it as he looked at the zomboil, could see in his expression that he was not going to accept answers that tried to dodge the root of the problem. He put his elbow on his knee and leaned his face into his hand, rubbing at his temples as the shameful memories washed over him now that he was focusing in on them. How did he start with this, did he tell him how he got to it or just cut to the chase and let him know precisely what it was that was the problem. Perhaps...perhaps that would be best. Save the zomboil from hearing some long, drawn-out story. Shoulders hunching he spoke, head still in his hand, still not looking at Alexander. "I wished to go back. It was just for a moment but...I wished to go back. I wanted to return." Was that good enough? It really was not clear and he closed his eyes, forcing himself to admit out loud what he had wanted. "I desired to go back to the Clan."
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:44 am
Could Yin spend a day on his own without permission? Of course he could! Alex didn't give a s**t if Yin wanted to spend several days on his own, as long as he let Alexander know that that's what he needed, so that he didn't sit around all day, first feeling worried, then confused, and then like a complete dumbass for believing that Yin would have wanted to spend the day with him when it was clearly not the case.
As Yin started to speak, looking into Alex's eyes, the zomboils hands started to tighten into fists, nails digging deep into his palms as his hands began to shake with the massive effort it was taking not to start yelling, to start venting all of these pent up emotions that were starting to make his head throb and his vision go a little red around the edges. Yin was not giving him an answer. He was hedging around the truth, again, as he had been doing since the moment he'd walked into the door.
Abruptly, Alexander pushed himself to his feet. He couldn't stay here like this. He was going to lose control again and he couldn't do that to Yin, couldn't let him witness that again, or worse, be on the receiving end of it.
He had taken two jerking steps towards the door before Yin spoke again, finally answering Alex's question. The zomboil blinked, the horrible agony of emotions receding for a moment as he turned and stared at the other boil in confusion. "But..but why?" He asked, blurting out the first thing that came to mind, though he heard Yin say it was just for a moment, which meant that it was a fleeting thought, right?
Well, if Yin's current condition was any indication, it must be more serious then that.
Hesitantly, he took a couple of small, shuffling steps back towards Yin, "But you wouldn't...you wouldn't actually go, would you? You wouldn't......you won't leave me....." The last part wasn't even a question, just a short statement spoken in an incredibly quiet and incredulous voice.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:17 pm
Why? Because he was weak. Because he had seriously thought, even if it had only been for an instant, that it would be worth giving up every thing he had worked for since he had left the clan just for security. Just for the idea that he would never face another hunter, that he would never deal with another horseman. That he would never have to worry about being transformed into a sickle, forgetting everything but hunger.
And because he knew that if he actually took the time to think about it...the idea would tempt him. That he had never really thought fondly about the clan but throughout the day he had been feeling an odd sense of nostalgia in those breaks between the spars. Thinking about what his instructor would have to say about his fighting abilities now, wanting to hear his terse corrections that were his form of praise. Just wanting for once to be around one of his own kind, to see another mantis, someone that would understand that form and not run away or cringe or look distinctly uncomfortable when he was in it, though at least Nurse Cricket seemed to show some approval on that front. To just have a normal routine, nothing difficult, day in an day out the same, just being around other boils that could understand where he was coming from. To have ghouls that did not argue with him when he called them by a title that was simply meant to show respect.
So all of those thoughts were on the forefront of his mind when Alexander finally asked him his next question. "No," he answered, but there was something uncertain in his voice. Something that made it rather obvious that it was not as definite as he was trying to make it out to be. Finally he looked back up at Alexander, not even remembering when the zomboil had stood up. "Of course I would not leave you," he said in a slightly pained voice.
Pained because when he had been thinking about actually returning to the clan...the zomboil had not crossed his mind. His mind had not even factored the zomboil into the equation. It had only been afterwards when he was filled with the shame of even considering it that he had thought about Alexander, and then it was simply because he wanted to hide it from him.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:37 pm
Alex needed to hear Yin's answer, the one he was sure he was going to hear. He needed Yin to say that no, he would not leave, he would never even consider it. So why was it, when Yin did say it, Alex was not at all reassured. He just stood, there, staring down at Yin, full to the brim with feelings and emotions that he no longer knew how to control, and he felt like Yin's words were completely empty, that they didn't mean anything.
He wanted so much for that not to be the case, for it to just be his imagination, but he was sure there was something in Yin's voice that sounded almost insincere, like he was again just saying what he thought Alex wanted to hear and not what he was truly feeling. "No..." he repeated, almost dumbly, closing his eyes, taking in a deep shuddering breath as he started to consider the fact that maybe this relationship wasn't as secure as he had thought it was.
The pain in Yin's voice didn't go unnoticed, but it was almost too little too late. Almost. But if Alex had known what had really caused that pained tone, he would have given up and walked out of the room right then, but the tone was enough to make him stop, to ask the question he felt he already knew the answer to, but had to hear it for himself.
"If you..if you left...you wouldn't take me with you, would you? You would just leave me..." He said, quietly, his own voice raw and full of pain as well as he started to feel the faint trembling of the oncoming earthquake that was about to shake his world down around him. Yesterday, things had been fine. This morning, he had still thought things had been fine, if not a little tense and awkward.
Now...now he didn't know what to think, he didn't know how things could have changed so quickly. Sadness began to well up inside him, to join in the emo party taking place in his heart and in his brain, but he clenched his jaw against it, tried to shove it back down, to bury it deep beneath everything else. He didn't want to think about Yin leaving him, not again, not so soon after he'd thought the'd lost him forever, not now that he was just starting to feel normal again.
Silly zomboil, for thinking that things could ever just be that easy.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:56 pm
Yin winced at the words, head hanging down and shoulders hunching: his entire posture screaming how defeated he felt. If that was the question that Alexander was going to ask. "No," he admitted, not really wanting to say it. It was not that he did not want Alexander with him, it was simply that...the zomboil would never survive with the Mantodae. He would be an outsider and he would not know what to do, what to expect. Keeping him there would be torture, pure and simple.
"But I would not simply leave you," he made sure to add, unable to bear the way that Alexander sounded. This was precisely why he had been avoiding his room. He did not want Alexander to find out, but now he had and it was obvious that it hurt him. He had just wanted to spare him this.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:31 pm
And that was it. That one simple word, said again but in answer to a new question, a much more important question, in Alex's mind.
No.
No he would not take Alex with him. He would just leave, and Alex would be left behind. Had Yin said anything else? Alex couldn't even hear him anymore with this sudden pounding in his ears. Couldn't see him any more as his vision suddenly became distorted by a haze of red. He could feel a warmth creeping up the back of his neck, but it wasn't just from embarrassment, it was from anger as well. Alexander felt foolish. He felt like Yin had somehow made a complete fool out of him. If there was one thing he hated, it was when he was made to feel stupid.
This was a rather odd turn of events, but it's how Alex's mind chose to focus his angers and emotions. Not on the real problem, but on something new, something simple and basic that Alex could finally lash out about.
"Don't lie to me." He snapped, his voice suddenly a low growl. He could feel himself backing away, towards the door, and that was good. He needed to get out, get away, and not be facing Yin while he felt like this. He needed to get out before he lost control, but his emotions were in a turmoil, and he didn't really want this either. He also wanted to stay, to work things out, to end the night with Yin wrapped up in his arms, with a feeling of security once more. But this day had been too long, too full of small insecurities that had built up and built up more over time. Maybe it wasn't even just this day, maybe it had been this past several days since the trials, as he had struggled daily to just be himself, to show Yin that he was going to be fine.
"I would give up everything for you. I would have gone with you, if you asked, and you know I would. I told you I never wanted to let go.." His voice almost broke then, to many emotions vying to be on top, too much too deal with at once. He composed himself and finished what he had to say, hand groping for the doorknob behind him, his voice icy as he opened it up.
"You're always running away from something, I guess it was only a matter of time before you ran away from me as well. Here, I'll make it easier for you. I'll leave instead." That was...harsh, even for Alex, who knew how to be an a*****e if the occasion suited him, but he wasn't feeling particularly friendly at the moment, and before he could say anything to possibly hurt the mantodae more, he was gone, out the door and closing it behind him before he took off down the hallway. He needed to be away from Yin right now, he needed time to...he didn't even know what. He just needed to get away. That was the first step. He'd figure out what came next later.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:06 pm
No he was not lying. He would not just...he looked up at Alexander, seeing him edge toward the door. Just trying to get away. And he knew that Alexander would go with him if he asked. Deep down he knew that was true.
Which was why he would never ask.
He simply could not do it to someone he cared that much about. He did not truly wish to go back, not when everything factored in. But if he ever reached that point he could not, would not let Alexander throw his life away on the Clan as well. He just...he did not know how to put it in the right words. He had no idea how to say it, and it seemed today as if Alexander would probably take it the wrong way no matter what he said. No matter how he tried to tell him that.
So when Alexander's icy tone addressed him it felt quite literally like the words were cutting through him. He could not even react as the zomboil left, sitting there, dazed. Hurt. He did not even realize he was crying until Princess Eva was pawing at his left, small face gazing up at him in concern as she yipped at him. But not even the rabo could comfort him now.
He got up from the bed and shifted, wanting, needing to be in his natural form. Insects could not cry, and it was the only way that he knew how to stop right now. He wanted to say that it was not true, that he did not just run away from everything but...was that not what he did? He had ran away from the clan when he could not take it any longer, he had avoided Alexander when he did not know how to answer him.
That was what made the zomboil's words hurt as bad as they did. Deep down he knew that they were true, that he had no defense against them. And that there was nothing he could do, nothing he could offer to make his bonded stay.
It was hours before his body started to shut down, too exhausted from the day of sparring to allow him to stay awake. He felt weak enough that he reverted back to his more humanoid form so he could just flop down on the bed, instinctively moving until he was right up against the wall as sheer exhaustion took over.
He had not expected to dream. Or for his dreams to be anything other than nightmares of Alexander leaving him, or of being weaponized. So his dream was rather surprising really.
The High Priestess stood on the raised platform, the masses utterly silent down to the smallest scareling as he knelt before her, waiting for her verdict. "Today one that we thought was lost to us has returned." She spoke, voice full of authority. Loud, but not yelling. Yet everyone in the plaza could hear her plainly. He knew because normally he was toward the back of the crowd. "When Yǐn Cáng left he was full of confusion. But today our promising boil has returned to us. Ready to serve again. To dedicate his life anew to the Great Mantis." There was still utter silence as he waited, kneeling, head bowed. "Today we rejoice that he has come back to the Clan. Today one of our own has come home!"
The cheers were almost deafening until she cut them off with a single wave of her hand, smiling down at him when he dared to look up before speaking only to him. "The Great Mantis does not abandon her own, and she realizes that you were just a confused boil. As her speaker it is my pleasure to have you back with us Yǐn Cáng."
"I only desire to serve," he found himself saying, feeling utterly happy. Utterly content. He had made a mistake in leaving. Going to Amityville. Bonding with Alexander. But now everything was going to be fine again as she motioned for him to stand. Allowed him to personally escort her to the feast. Found himself surrounded by weremantises of all shapes and sizes, even the condescending looks that the ghouls gave him tempered by soft smiles and "welcome homes."
It was the worst dream that Yin had ever had, including the Trial of Death but he could not seem to wake up, body drenched in a cold sweat as his dream self continued to exchange pleasantries and celebrate his return.
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:25 pm
Alex returned to the room, hours later.
He was mentally and emotionally exhausted, but ultimately, he was feeling a lot better then he had earlier. His spar with Mitzi had been..interesting, to say the least. It had actually been a welcome experience, it gave him an outlet with which to vent his frustrations, and it gave him little time to think about anything but what was happening in that moment. It was upon reflecting on this later, that Alexander may have gotten an inkling of why it was Yin had done what he had. He'd had an upsetting thought, one that he didn't want to focus on, and had dealt with it in the same way that Alex had now just dealt with his own problems.
With that realization firmly in mind, Alex had departed from the gymnasium, worse for wear then when he had arrived, and full of painful regret. It was at about this time that he remembered that he hadn't actually eaten anything in over 24 hours, and he decided that possibly going for a hunt and getting himself some food might give him time to cope with how he was feeling, and time to think of what he should do next.
Some time later, with blood still smeared on his face and hands, Alex found himself wandering the campus aimlessly. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, just letting his feet go where ever they may while he remained buried deep in his thoughts. It wasn't even too long later that he stopped, his eyes rising from the ground in front of him to see where his footfalls had taken him, and not even all that surprised to see that he was standing outside of the monster dorms, eyes automatically seeking out the window of Yin's bedroom.
Surely it must have been a sign.
And so, the bedraggled and messy zomboil shambled his way into the building, quietly making his way through the maze of hallways, up the flight of stairs and back towards the room that was becoming more of a home for him of late then his own dorm room. When he reached the door, he paused, the shame of his earlier words before he had left the room flooding back to him. Yin probably didn't even want him to come back after that, and the zomboil couldn't really blame him. But still, they were bonded, and this was his boilfriend and he couldn't just leave him like this. Yin needed support, and Alex should have been the one there to give it to him, not to throw his words back in his face, accuse him of lying, insult him, and leave. He felt absolutely wretchedly horrible for all of it, and wanted nothing more then to just be able to go back, and to have had none of it happen at all.
But it had happened, and Alex could really only see one way to move forward from here. He reached out, and slowly turned the door handle, pushing the door open as silently as he could before shuffling himself inside and closing the door behind him with a soft 'click'.
His eyes immediately found Yin's sleeping form, pressed up against the wall on the bed. Alexander wasn't sure if he should be relieved or disappointed that this was the case. He really needed to talk to the other boil, to apologize and let him know that he was there for him, no matter what. But at the same time, he was scared, scared that he might have gone to far, that his words might have hurt the weremantis too much.
Finally, after standing by the door for what seemed like ages, the zomboil made his way slowly across the room and towards the bed, sliding himself up on to it and over towards Yin, reaching a hand out to touch the other boils shoulder, gently. "Yin?" he whispered, as his pale eyes watched the weremantis in the dimness of the room, illuminated only by the moon shining in through the window. "Yin?" he whispered again, applying a little more pressure.
But the weremantis appeared to be out cold, likely exhausted from his days physical exertions. Alex hesitated, ready to say something else but closing his mouth. No, he would wait until Yin was awake, and talk to him then. For now, Alex rolled on to his back, and closed his eyes, trying and failing over and over again to block out all unnecessary thought so that he could just put him self in stasis mode. Eventually, he gave up, and not knowing whether it was a good idea or a terrible one, or possibly not caring either way, turned back towards Yin and flung an arm around the other boil, and buried his face against him, just wanting that bit of warmth, that bit of comfort, even if it wasn't being offered, in case it was the last time he ever could.
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