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 Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:43 am
Normally Rep wasn't the type to do walking with any seriousness. But after the mission to the lair, he felt like he had to keep moving just to stay awake, had to keep moving to stay fit. So he was once again prowling the deus buildings like an unpaid watchman, doing what had to be his third lap around the life labs, heading out onto the path between the buildings with an irritable sigh.
It was ******** ridiculous, he couldn't even get control of his own body, he should be able to dictate to himself WHEN he ******** wanted to sleep. He shouldn't feel as utterly s**t as he did.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:39 am
She'd slept so much the past few days that she'd practically lost track of time- in the infirmary, after all, there was neither day nor night, just the white curtains around her bed and meals she barely touched, and sometimes-Justin-visits, and the faces of doctors and nurses she couldn't be bothered remembering. Sure, they were helping to keep her alive- but she didn't really want to be.
Sooner or later, she'd have to leave this small sanctuary, and go back to her daily life, back to duties and training courses and missions. Reine didn't think she would ever be able to do that- maybe she could just hole herself up in her room for a few more days.
Then again, her room was right next to Eva's, and she couldn't face the other girl right now, if ever again.
When they told her firmly that she had to leave, that she was taking up space that other people needed more, Reine felt almost completely lost. There was no energy even for a sense of purpose, all she wanted to do was lie down again and sleep forever, except if she did, she'd see everything happening again- flashbacks from the mission, reminding herself how much of a failure she was. Like a wraith, pale and gaunt, she made her way down the corridors, her feet taking her towards her room purely out of habit.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:29 am
It was mere coincidence that Rep arrived back to the dorms on schedule for his wanderings at the same time or near enough as Reine. When he saw her, he had to freeze and double take.
For a moment he felt as if he was having sleep deprived hallucinations again, as if he was reliving the mission, that same pale figure cut wide open. He could /smell/ the blood again for just a moment, it made him dizzy. But she stayed, not perhaps a ghost but very possibly the real thing. He rubbed his head. Surely she hadn't survived that?
He'd been too scared to ask in the labs how his team-mates were. He didn't want to know if it was bad news.
He wandered up alongside her, looking baffled. "Reine? That you?" It was a stupid question but he had to be sure.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:08 am
Reine hadn't even noticed him walking up to her, and hearing her name all of a sudden had her practically jumping out of her skin. Unlike Justin's, this was a voice she didn't know too well, and the second she turned to see who it was she regretted it. Rep, standing towering over her, looking for all the world like he could just pick her up and throw her, or crush her under his foot.
It didn't help that red was a colour usually associated with rage. And death.
At least, that was one out of the four, safe and alive. With a whimper she backed away, her hand trailing along the wall. She felt like she should say something. Glad to see you alive? But it had been her fault, and that sounded like such a flippant thing to say. I'm sorry? That wouldn't cut it, either.
She wanted so badly to ask him if he knew how the others were, just so she could set her mind at ease- but even if they were alive, that didn't excuse what she'd put them through. Instead she turned and ran, as if she could block him out, block everything out just by doing so. The door of 125 was just a little way away, if she could just reach it--
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:32 am
About the last thing he was expecting from the other hunter was for her to run away, filled with a sudden sense of irritation and anger as she did so. How dare she run away from him? He was never keen at his attempts at conversation being snubbed, especially not by a woman. And most certainly never by someone who he had almost ******** died on the orders of.
He practically bristled, snarling. "Get the ******** back here when I'm talking to you!"
Running flat out he chased after her, determined he'd kick the door of her dorm if he had to. Conversation with him after that ******** situation was non-negotiable.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:49 am
The anger in his voice and the thundering footsteps after her only served to make Reine more sure that yes, Rep hated her, they probably all hated her, and any moment now she was going to die; maybe this was the reason they'd kept her alive, so she could atone for her sins, or something like that.
Eventually her steps slowed, and not just because she was finding it hard to even catch her breath- after lying down forever, her stamina was ridiculously low. For a moment she simply stood, a little hunched over, trying to recover, and then she turned to look back up at Rep- but she still couldn't look him in the eye, instead focusing on the pendant he wore.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:56 am
Rep glared irritably as he caught up with her, pretty exhausted himself and even more angry that he'd had to /run/. Walking was fine, running was somehow ridiculous. He had to fight the urge to just hit her right then and there, his usual reaction when people somehow managed to sting him. She'd possibly hurt his feelings a little by running away like he was going to kick her a**, he wasn't Caelius.
"Finally. The ******** did you run away for?"
He even overcame his usual aversion to contact to give her a shake by the shoulder, worried maybe she'd run away from him because of something he'd done or said on the mission. Maybe it was refusing to talk when Eva needed it? Maybe it was ******** up the battle. Either way he was more than a little anxious and took it out as he did so many things, by being just a little violent.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:29 am
There was the slightest twinge of irritation- why else did he think she'd run away?! To be fair, big-sized men normally didn't faze her too much, see: Robert, but Reine felt like she owed him something, and not only did she not like the feeling of owing someone something, this wasn't something she felt like she could pay back, to begin with.
She looked down at her feet, not even reacting when he shook her. What was she supposed to do now? Back in that bar, when they'd been tied up, Reine had been ready to die, because dying meant that all this would end, it meant that she wouldn't have to shoulder any more responsibilities, any more guilt. Now she was standing in front of someone who had been so close to death because of her failures, so close, maybe, to having his body exploded and then devoured by a parasite-
The thought made her sick, the flashes of memories coming back to her, so vividly that it felt like she was reliving the mission again, and Reine whimpered, beginning to sob.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:46 am
Rep wasn't used to crying women. And hadn't had to deal with one for a long long time.
He let go of Reine as if he might somehow catch whatever emotional state it was that was causing her to crack in front of him. It was jarring, and he wasn't sure if it was him shaking her and yelling that did it. But surely not, she had been tough as anyone else the times he'd run into her, a little nervy but tough enough.
Still eyeing her as if she was a terrifying new species he snarled.
"The ******** you whining about?" he narrowed his eyes "Weren't you meaner than that? You didn't seem like a p***y on the mission."
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:08 am
Reine all but crumpled to the ground when Rep let go of her, still trembling. How was it that he seemed fine, when he'd been there as well, when he'd seen everything that happened? Had he forgotten how the civilians died, what the horsemen had done to them, had he forgotten how she'd practically got them all killed?
Up to now she hadn't said a word to him- she didn't think she deserved to, and the way he yelled at her made her cringe, terrified. Had she been meaner? All she could remember was how sure of herself she'd been, how arrogant, how she'd demanded they listen to her and follow orders. All she'd done, essentially, was try to behave like Caelius, when she didn't have the same abilities, nor, really, the aptitude for leadership.
"What did I seem like, then?" Her voice was shaky as she tried to stand up, wobbling a little. "I nearly got you all killed. I was given a mission and I failed it. I should have died back there, but I didn't."
There was a slightly awkward pause, before she spoke up again.
"I wish I had."
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:17 am
"You seemed like you had a ******** backbone. I was pretty happy to follow your orders mate." he snorted, crossing his arms as he looked down at her. He hated to see women acting broken, defeated. It made him furious. It reminded him of his mother.
"So what if s**t went wrong? We made it out. We survived. Doesn't ******** matter if we had to be saved. We are trainees. We fight. We live to fight another day. We are ******** GRATEFUL for it."
He snarled irritably at her, filled with the sudden urge to just /hit/ her. To try and knock some sense physically into her, resisting only by a hair's breadth as he jabbed a finger in her direction, pointing nastily. "We don't GET to wish for ******** death mate. Death comes for us in its own ******** time. In the meantime we /fight/. But if you are too much of a ******** woman to fight then I'll gladly knock some sense into you permanently."
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:46 am
"And look where that got us." He had been happy to follow her orders? Reine looked away, coughing out a laugh. If Rep had intended on making her feel better, that wasn't going to cut it; it just made the feeling of guilt so much heavier. They'd trusted her, they'd relied on her.
Part of her was annoyed at him, the other part annoyed at herself, for being so weak. But it wasn't as if she hadn't known that already, if she'd been stronger, she wouldn't have screwed up this badly. So what if s**t went wrong? It hadn't been supposed to go wrong. It was a simple surveillance mission that ended up with a ridiculous casualty count. The rest of them had made it out- for that knowledge, at least, she was glad- but that didn't excuse her ineptitude as the leader of the group, that didn't change the fact that she'd failed.
It did matter to her that they had to be saved. It did matter to her that things hadn't gone perfectly. Granted, she'd known from the start that things wouldn't go completely as planned, she would have made a few allowances, tweaked plans here and there, but the way the whole mission had gone.. there was no way to salvage it, nothing, essentially, that she'd done right.
"Go ahead," she shrugged. What was the worst a trainee could do? After all they'd already been through..
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Baneful rolled 2 8-sided dice:
4, 1
Total: 5 (2-16)
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 6:27 am
It was like she couldn't even hear him. He'd seen it before, he tended to talk himself into the same impossible loops. After a while there was so much self loathing it was inescapable, you ripped yourself apart.
The best way he'd found to bring himself out of those little ******** states often was just a good hard ******** punch.
"It left us still ******** is where it left us. You think they didn't know where they were sending us on that mission? No one ******** sent for him. He was there. He was there already. He knew we'd be caught. You ever think maybe the no ******** win scenario itself was a test? Felt to me there was more to it than any of us ******** realise."
He snarled, but didn't summon Tracey yet, jabbing a finger at her. "If he thought we'd failed without redemption, what stopped him letting it kill us? Stop being such a ******** WOMAN. Woe is me. Woe is ******** me and my feelings."
HP - 40
DMG - ??
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:03 am
She finally showed some hint of emotion other than fear, scowling up at him. "It didn't leave us alive, it could have killed us, all of us, and he had to step in to save us- no, he didn't even think we were worth saving."
Reine took a deep breath, turning away. "You think that was it? You think it was a no-win scenario? He gave me a task, he gave me explicit instructions, and I ignored them, it was my ******** fault things ended the way they did." She'd been in charge of all of them, Caelius had made it clear, she was responsible for all their failures. If she hadn't made the decisions she had, if she'd just followed instructions, things would have been different, things would have been fine. They wouldn't have had to go through all that.
"If it was a test, I failed it. I let you all down." She didn't get it- why wasn't he blaming her? What was he even trying to say? Mildly irritated, she turned back to glare at him. "You saw what the horseman did; if he'd killed us, it would've been by creating another one of its kind, using the parasite. You think he saved us out of the goodness of his heart?"
Caelius was cold, she knew that much. It was that coldness she'd admired, that ability to accomplish what he needed to, regardless of the situation. She also knew it was impossible for her to do the same, because she couldn't stand to see the rest of them suffer for her mistakes- and it hurt worse knowing that everything could have been averted, if she had simply followed instructions.
"We're all worthless, anyway. But that doesn't excuse the fact that it was my fault, and I should have known better." Should have, could have. There had been endless possibilities, and she'd wasted them.
HP: 50/50
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Baneful rolled 2 8-sided dice:
3, 4
Total: 7 (2-16)
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 10:11 am
"No ******** wonder he hit you with that scythe, he should have hit you ******** harder in my opinion. That sort of attitude is useless here. You are being a selfish little brat, things aren't about you, about your failings about your ******** problems. You can't just ******** mope because you ******** up. You don't ******** deserve the second chance you got!"
He snarled. "He might not have saved us for a reason, but we still ******** walked out of there. We owe it to ourselves to never let it happen again, not to dwell on the should haves, would haves and ******** could haves."
"And you know the worst thing? You make ME look ******** bad for thinking you were different from the usual emotional, fragile ******** little girls all over this island"
Disappointment, anger and frustration mingled in him in a moment that coalesced into him lashing out with a punch.
"You don't deserve the ******** good fortune you were given"
HP: 40/40
DMG: 1
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