Welcome to Gaia! ::

There was sunlight. Then darkness, of the really dark variety. And finally, victory.

JD was covered in sand, sunburn, and butter. The butter and sand weren't helping with the burn, although it certainly made him smell salty and inviting. He'd just made it off the beach where he and his teammates had emerged on top, with their half-melted Fortress of Solitude or what the ******** ever. He flipped his hair over his shoulder in irritation, and winced as it slapped against his back wetly. His manly locks had yet to dry out thanks to the soaking the Kraken had given them.

He strode, slightly bow-legged to avoid any unnecessary rubbing, one thumb hooked in the side of his barely-retained loincloth. He felt like a god - if that god was Prometheus. He was pretty sure this kind of s**t was WAY out of contract. Building sandcastles? How the hell was that supposed to proudly represent their school? He was so lost in this angry musing that he failed to notice the reporters clogging the walkways of Amity campus until they fell upon him in a dark wave.

"JOHNNY DANGER!" Someone yelled, and he automatically looked up with his signature sneer- but it wasn't the voice of any of his teammates. No, he realized, as he stared up into the grim visage of what was probably the most hideous creature he'd ever seen in his life. It stood easily two feet taller than JD, and glowered at him with one glowing eye. It's dull brown hair fell lankily to it's shoulders, and even a fashionable do couldn't hide the fact that it had seen better days - perhaps centuries ago. A smile, filled with entirely too many filthy yellowed teeth, graced its features. The suit it wore and layers of expensive perfume couldn't mask the horrible rotting scent beneath, either. Gag me with a spoon, he thought testily.

Then it spoke, in a remarkably feminine voice. He realized -with a sense of slow, creeping horror - the thing was female. "OH, JD, JD!" It tittered. Despite her body's state of obvious disrepair, a crease of her shirt and a certain curvature at the hip suggested... Yes. She had breasts. And an a**. They were, in all likelihood, rotting as well. As her foul breath washed over him, JD vowed not to breathe for the rest of the interview.

"That's my name, don't wear it out," he delivered in a cold and clipped tone. Maybe she'd get the message and ******** off.

The ghoul - woman - beast - frowned slightly, but persevered. "Rumor has it that YOU participated in the trials! Can you tell us about your team? How did you all fare? There's rumors going about that some of the winning groups cheated. Was your team involved?"

JD just stared for a second, face turning bluer, before he realized if he didn't interrupt her she'd keep talking till he dissipated from lack of oxygen. He sucked in a deep breath - winced - and began, "Yeah. Team Ultimate Really Dark Darkness, ok?" At her question about cheating, he just groaned. "Look, lady, do you really think that this-" his hand gesture took in most of his upper torso - "Would need to cheat?"

She didn't respond, continuing to stare at him happily, pen poised above a notepad she'd produced seemingly from thin air.

He rolled his eyes. "No, we didn't cheat. I can't speak for anyone else, dude. I like, don't even know how you could cheat anyway."

"So," she began, licking the tip of her pen - ew, how could she even have spit - and flipping through her notepad, "hhhmm, ah, here. What are your personal views about the Four Clans? What do you think they're here for? And do their heirs really study at Amityville?" She fixated her beady little eye on him, and despite himself, he grimaced.

"I dunno, man. I'm just a singer, ok? I'm here to like. Rock. And roll. All night, sweet -" he paused. "What's your name," wince, "doll?"

"Suzy."

"Ah, yeah, then - Sweet Suzy." JD flashed her a grin. It was more than a little forced.

She batted her eyelashes. Eyelash. He wasn't sure what the proper term for cycloptic-eye-signals was, and he never thought he'd have the misfortune of needing to know. "But surely you know something, right? Haven't you met ANY of them in your time here?" Was she...was that rumbling, throaty voice directed at him?

Oh jack.

He didn't want to be here anymore. Someone, save him. "I uh. I don't know, lady. I don't really remember meeting them - I'm sure one of them was at the trials, maybe. The rest of 'em seem like, pretty ok to me. They're pretty chill. Sandcastles and all. Its an okay passtime, I guess."

She looked disappointed, but wrote a bit more, this time obviously a lot less than before.