Welcome to Gaia! ::

Alex had left Mort's room, much higher in spirits then when he had left the sex ed class the day before. That wasn't to say he was feeling one hundred percent better, just....exponentially more so in comparison. But as he had shambled out of the other zomboils bedroom, he also had only one thing on his mind, and that was Yin.

It had been difficult not to think about the weremantis all night long, as much as he had tried not to. It was hard not to see the shame and embarrassment that Yin had tried and failed horribly to hide, replaying over and over again in his mind. Minipet battling and video gaming and stuffing ones face in food did wonders towards being a distraction, but eventually all thoughts led back to one simple thing.

He needed to find Yin, and they needed to talk.

Any anger or frustration he had harbored towards Yin from the day before had past. Now he just felt a sort of emptiness inside, like being separated from the other boil had some how left him incomplete. But he had needed this. He had needed time to relax, unwind, for things to just be uncomplicated and easy for a change. At least, that's what he had kept telling himself. And he was probably right.

But that time was up, and now he just needed Yin. He needed to find him, to apologize, to tell him that it was nothing, that it had just been a silly mistake, just a misunderstanding. He could see that now, as events replayed over and over again in his mind. One silly mistake after another had led to emotional turmoil and now Alex just wanted it fixed.

And so, instead of turning to head towards his own dorm room, after leaving Mort's, Alex instead made his way back towards the main entrance, with skateboard tucked under arm and a cycorgi yipping around his heels happily. Hopefully Yin didn't mind the extra company, but he just didn't even want to take the time to put the pup back in his room.

He needed to do this now, because things had already gone for long enough, or possibly too long.

He shambled his way down that short bit of hall way to the doors, pushed his way outside under the barely lightening sky, and was met with a sight he had not expected to see.

"Yin?" He blurted out before he could even stop to think. What was he doing here? It didn't quite occur to Alex in those first few moments that the weremantis might have actually come to find him, though what else would he be doing hanging out outside of the undead dorms entrance?

Alex took a step towards the other boil, a smile ready to form but stopping before it could start. Something in Yin's face halted him, made the smile wither and die before it could be given a chance at life. "Yin?" He said again, more quietly now as the weremantis came towards him, shoulders slightly hunched and quite obviously upset. He wouldn't even look up at the zomboil, just down towards the cycorgi that was now sniffing around in the path outside the door, likely looking for a place to take a pee after being confined indoors for so long.

Alex couldn't have that. He couldn't have Yin looking so uncomfortable, or keeping his gaze so firmly fixated elsewhere. He wanted to reach out, to place a finger under the mantodae's chin and raise his head so that he could look into his eyes and see whatever emotions might be lurking there, to get a feel for what he was going to have to deal with. His fingers twitched, his hand began to raise...but then he hesitated, unsure. What if Yin didn't want his touch? Wasn't that what his had all been about to begin with? So instead, he let his hand flop uselessly back to his side.

"Oh....." He said, feeling rather numb all of a sudden, before something that Yin said finally clicked in his mind. "OH! No no no, you weren't disrupting me! I was just..well..I was coming to see you..." He finished, his voice having started out a bit loud, and possibly a little panicked before settling on quiet and slightly awkward.

"Of course, we can talk now." He said, somehow managing the words out around the lump suddenly forming in his throat. Was Yin here to tell him that bonding had been a mistake? Was he going to..to tell Alex that it was over?

His heart suddenly sunk down to his feet, his chest becoming cold and empty as all of his fears and doubts niggled their way into his thoughts and threatened to consume him there on the spot. How could he have been so foolish to believe that he might be able to just waltz on over to the monster dorms, apologize to Yin, and have everything go back to normal?

"I--I'm not busy.." He managed, eyes flickering to anywhere they might be able to sit and talk with some amount of privacy. There was a large sized tree, dark, barren and twisted growing up near against the side of the dorm. Alex nodded towards it, not knowing if Yin was even looking towards him to see the motion since his own gaze had suddenly wandered off into some far away distance. "Over there? Now?" It seemed long sentences were out at this point. He could barely manage those three words.

Alex began towards the tree, quite certain that Yin would either get there first or at the very least, walk by his side. When neither of these two things occurred, the zomboil had to risk a glance backwards to make sure that the weremantis was actually indeed coming. Had it really gotten so bad that Yin didn't even want to walk with him? He swallowed past the lump in his throat, his mouth suddenly too dry, his chest suddenly much too tight.

This wasn't right. This could not be happening after a couple of small and silly mistakes..could it? Wasn't this bonding thing supposed to be for life? Was Yin deciding to make an exception? His own steps may have slowed down before he reached that tree, if it was even possible for his pace to get any slower. When he arrived, he turned and sank down to the grass, folding his legs so that he too, was sitting cross legged, then leaned back against the tree. His cycorgi pup quickly took advantage, leaping into that open lap eagerly and licking at Alex's hands, which really, should have tasted disgusting to the pup.

Definitely a smell issue then, affecting his taste buds as well. It's funny what one's mind suddenly wanders too when faced with a situation they really did not want to face, isn't it?

And then Yin was sitting down as well, across from Alex, not even within reaching distance. He probably didn't trust Alex not to try and put his hand on him again. That thought came a little bitterly, but he instantly felt ashamed of himself for thinking it. Either that or ashamed of himself for having caused this, and for having ruined everything so easily and so soon. Instead of saying anything to Yin's words, he just nodded slowly, looking down in his lap at the cycorgi, having trouble meeting Yin's eyes even though one of his biggest pet peeves was when people didn't look in your eyes while speaking to you. He fought his gaze upward, watched Yin's face with his pale gray eyes full of regret.

And then Yin continued to talk, and it was all Alex could do not to let out and exasperated groan born of pure irritation. The lump in his throat vanished, and words were finally able to flow freely from his mouth, though he kept them in for a moment longer. First, he leaned forward away from the tree, pushed the puppy from his lap, and moved to his hands and knees to crawl over to Yin, stopping when he was in front of the other boil and sitting up so that his knees were nearly touching the other boils legs. Then, with a quick glance to make sure nobody was watching, he reached out and took one of the weremantis's hands in his. "This used to cause you discomfort, didn't it? Or maybe it still does. I don't know. But yet, you still allow me to do it." He then brought that hand up, gently, but firmly, not letting it go but trying not to hurt Yin in the process. He brought that hand up and brushed the back of it against the front of his neck, where his stitches were, and while he shivered the slightest bit t the touch, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. He then let his hand drop away, slipping it away from Yin's hand, and back down into his lap. "Did that cause me discomfort? Well, yes and no. It's an area that I'm sensitive too, for obvious reasons, but the fact that it is you makes it okay. Yesterday you startled me, that's all.There's no need to apologize, but if you feel as though you must then..of course I can forgive you when there was barely anything to forgive.

"Now, having said that. Yes, I was upset. I was upset because I had done something to upset you. Apparently I crossed a line at some point that I didn't even realize I was crossing. I--I'm new to all of this too, Yin. I told you once before if I was doing something I shouldn't that you should tell me, and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. So, I'm sorry too." He finished, as usual, having talked and talked without thinking, without pause, and without letting Yin get a word in edgewise.

Alex had sat back slightly, sitting on his heels and waiting for however Yin would respond to all of this info. He knew from past experience that Yin would not like his apology, and probably would insist it was un-necessary. Though if Alex had to accept an apology from Yin he didn't want, he felt the other boil should at least allow him the same courtesy.

But no, he wasn't just saying it was ok. He was taking all of the blame for everything upon himself yet again, and it all Alex could do not to reach over and place a hand over the other boils mouth in an effort to make him to stop. But instead he waited, patiently listening to what Yin had to say, about everything, before responding.

"I shouldn't have said that." He admitted, "I was already upset because I had upset you, and that made me too quick to judge on things you said to me, and too defensive. If I'd been able to keep a level head I could have reasoned out why you felt that way without investing so much more into it then was necessary." He grimaced a little, and reached up to rub at his eyes, wondering if he was even making any sense right now. And what Yin was saying about getting used to it.....it was just making Alex's head hurt.

"I don't want you to force yourself to endure something you aren't ever going to enjoy, Yin. That's not how things are supposed to work in a relationship. Yesterday wasn't even about that though. I had done it without thinking about how it would make you feel, but it was supposed to be reassuring, it was supposed to be to show you that I wasn't angry with you. That was all." He paused for a moment now, looking down at his hands and frowning slightly, trying to think of how to ask the question that was on his mind, and mostly dreading the answer he might get.

"Are you....are you sure you're ready to try and...to be with me in an actual relationship, Yin? Or did you just say yes because you thought that's what I wanted, and that without it I would leave you?" He suddenly felt tense and awkward, his chest tightening up painfully. "I am willing to take things as slowly as I have to, to be with you but...if it's not what you want, then I don't know if I can do it. If I know you don't enjoy it, that it's something that you're just forcing...." that lump was suddenly forming up in his throat again and he tried to swallow past it, tried to keep talking, and failed.

Alex's gaze shot back up, his look somewhat chagrined, "It's not---" He started, but the cut himself off, reminding himself to let Yin finish what he was saying and not to interrupt. He sat on his heels and he listened, and he just wanted Yin to stop. To just stop talking, to stop sounding so upset. He was sitting with his knees almost touching Yin, but he wanted to lean forward and wrap the other boil up in a hug, to just tell him to forget he even asked, because it was a stupid question.

Finally, though Yin hadn't even spoken that much, the weremantis stopped, and Alex was able to speak, as he reached up to swipe the hair that had fallen into his eyes back to the side. "It's not only about physical things. That's just...a part of it I guess. But I like physical contact regardless, as I've mentioned before. I just don't see the big problem with it, and I'm trying to understand why it bothers you so much, but sometimes I forget because I'm so used to just..the way I was raised." He finished, hoping that explained away some of the reasons Alex liked physical nearness. Being that Yin was his boilfriend made it more special, certainly, but not if Yin didn't feel that way too.

Now to address the rest of what Yin had to say. "Okay then, you're trying. I get it." He said, quietly, feeling like they'd already had this conversation once already. Maybe even twice. He couldn't really remember.

"And I just said I'm willing to go as slow as I have to. I'll go as slow as you need me too, if it means I can stay with you. So do you want to keep trying, or not? I want to be with you, I just need to hear from you that you want the same."

Yes, Alex understood that to Yin, doing things, even small things such as holding hands, was preferably done in private and no where else. And to Alex, that was still fine, as long as he knew Yin was actually okay with it, and not just saying it or doing it just to make the zomboil happy. He should be getting something out of it too.

When Yin first started blushing, Alex suddenly became a little amused, and a smile began to work it's way across his face suddenly, though it started out small, and grew the more Yin had to say, and the redder his face became. It was a bit surprising to hear that the weremantis did actually enjoy some of it, though the not understanding why he enjoyed it was a little off putting. Alexander was willing to ignore that for now though, because Yin said he still wanted this, he still wanted Alex to keep trying, even after the zomboil felt like he had given the weremantis an out.

Alex suddenly shifted in his seat, turning his body again, eyes searching for anybody who might be watching, and could see nothing. Turning back towards Yin, who was looking down at the ground, he reached out to place his hand on the other boils shoulder and give it a gentle squeeze. "Okay then. Thank you." He said, his voice soft and full of a renewed sense of happiness and contentment. But was it enough just to thank Yin? He should probably say more...

"So, I guess we both agree to keep trying." He said, a tiny bit louder and with a cheerful lilt to his voice. Letting go of Yin's shoulder, Alex put his hands down on the ground to help push himself to his feet, his tall lean body unfolding. He looked down at Yin, who was still seated on the ground, reaching up to run a hand through his thick mass of white hair.

"So..uh..what do you want to do now? I'm free pretty much all morning...." He frowned suddenly, waiting for Yin to stand up before asking,

"Wait..did you sleep at all last night? How long have you been out here?" He didn't always recognize the tell tale signs of exhaustion, but Yin did look rather..run down, now that he had a closer look at him.

Yin's answer did nothing to alleviate the look he was getting from Alex. If anything, his frown might have deepened, though he looked more upset then angry. After all, it was his own fault that the weremantis hadn't slept all night. And Yin dodging the how long question? Ya, it didn't go unnoticed, but he chose to let that one slide.

For now.

Reaching up with on hand, he rubbed at his face, then letting his hand drop down, he tried not to look too unhappy with Yin, because he knew that would only end badly.

"Lets go and grab something to eat. And then.." He continued on, not wanting to give Yin time to just grab ahold of the first thing he said and take off with it. "What I wish to do is go back to your room and study while you get some rest. We can even take breakfast back there with us. Seriously, just..have a couple of hours of sleep at least." He finished, hoping the weremantis agreed to this plan.

"I could...er...help you put protection charms on your lammit." Really, not what he wanted to be doing today, but if it got Yin to go back to his room and potentially sleep? Ya, okay, he was willing to push through the awkward for that.