Welcome to Gaia! ::

Total Party Kill sat down at the folding table in her basement. The lighting was dim in an attempt to keep her eyes from ever accidentally adjusting to the outside world. There were two plies of Mt. Dew cans stacked on the floor next to her: waiting to be consumed, and already consumed. The collection of empty cans was the larger of the two.

Across the table from her were two new players, Lullaby and Pink Lemonade. TPK had been periodically rounding up babbens and trying to introduce them to the game of Dungeons and Dragons. This was a task that got harder and harder as her reputation as a bloodthirsty DM spread.

Damnit, it was the game the meant to be played, why didn't the other Phonies appreciate her for it? It was the how her old DM, a unicorn named Rocks Fall, treated her way back in the days of 1st Edition. The rules had evolved since then, but the hard lessons that she had learned via the deaths of many, many level 1 characters, would never change.

Today, her plan was her usual plan: split the two new players from each other, and then throw monsters at them both. The monsters TPK always picked were an appropriate challenge rating for a party of two low level characters, but usually too hard to beat solo. Yet time after time, the players took the bait.

They had already held a separate session where the two foals rolled up their characters and figured out back stories, and today was about to get down to business.

"As you leave the town to go out on your first quest since reaching appropriate adventurer's age, you look out at the large mountain range, and wonder where to start. The Captain of the Town Guard only gave you vague instructions on where to find the monster's layer. 'We saw it run that way,' he said while pointing off into the countryside. The monster in question has been attacking your village at night, and stealing various goods from the market. This was annoying at first, but last night, one of the shopkeepers tried to defend his fruit cart, and the monster killed him. The bounty on it's head for this atrocious act is 10 gold pieces, and there's nothing adventurers love more than getting paid.

A path winds out into the distance, and it's farther than either of you have ventured out before. After walking for a while, you find yourselves coming to a forest; it's kind of dark and scary. What are your characters doing?"

Searching for clues? Hum, this batch of babbens seemed to be smarter than the last group she lead into danger. TPK would have to think a little bit harder than usual.

She opened and then slammed yet another can of sweet sugary nectar, and let out a belch.

"You stare intently at everything as you enter the scary forest. It feels like the trees are staring back, and as if the branches are reaching out to claw you. You're pretty sure you see blood on the dried ends, but then again, it could always just be something normal." A twisted smile crossed the DM's face.

"On the ground, you see an apple core. The monster had attacked a fruit cart the night before, and must have been eating his spoils on his way to his layer."

"The apple core is brown and squishy; whoever was eating it, left some fleshy bits on it that have already attracted all sorts of bugs. Ants, flies, worms, the whole gambit is trying to get it's share of the apple's remains. Leoven, your character seems like a wuss; roll a fortitude save to not wretch ((Ruri, roll a d20, and get higher than 12 to keep his character's breakfast down)).

If you had a fresher apple, you might be able to look at the bites to at least determine the size of the thing you're after. I don't think you guys are high enough level yet to pass the knowledge check necessary to know the exact monster type by it's teeth. I mean, you guys can try either if you like, but you will probably fail the roll.

As you keep searching the path, Prulyassa, you see another apple up ahead. You must be going in the right direction."

"Just think of vomiting as leaving a snack for the all the cute woodland animals. There are dire chipmunks in this parts, and they'll eat anything. Anything. Even adventurers if they're hungry enough. They're like furry paranas.

Once you pick up that apple, you see that there are two more ahead, but they seem to be going off different ways into the woods. The monster has left the main trail. Conveniently, there's two of you, and two ways to check. Who knows, they may even loop around; it could have just been trying to slow you down and throw you off.

So, which one of you is going which way?"

TPK strained to listen to what they were whispering about. They were probably talking about treasure and magic items like all adventurers do. Greedy players; always stealing everything that isn't bolted down (and some craftier rogues who carry tools specifically for the things that are bolted down).

"Alright, as one of you goes right.... wait? Did you say you're going to explore the same path together?" TPK said in shock. What was this ********? This isn't how the adventure usually goes.

Flexing her powerful DM brain, TPK tried to lure them apart again. "Fine. You both go right and follow the apples. A long time passes, and you don't find any more clues. Maybe the monster ran out of snacks to munch on on the way to his layer? It feels like this search is starting to go forever. It would be possible to hunt around and try to get back on his trail, but both of you together is slowing things down. You could always try to split up and cover more ground..."

((I kind of was wondering what race and class they were. xd I was going to ask, but didn't want to put you on the spot or anything, lol))

Humph. Well, that wasn't going to work. No need for her to change her plan though, if they wanted to stay together, then the monster could just kill them together. At least it would be quicker than killing one and then hunting down the other. TPK was getting peckish anyway; it was better to get the adventure over with.

"Since both of you are searching so diligently, you notice the ground is softer here, and there are light footprints leading to, and then following a river. After walking along the bank for about an hour, you come to a hilly area.

Nestled along the side of one of the hills, you see an entryway into what you can only presume is a home. There is a crude door made out of several pieces of mismatched wood in front of you. You stare up... and up. Whatever lives here, it's very tall; much taller than you.

But, there doesn't seem to be a lock or anything else baring your entry. How do your characters proceed from here?"

"The door swings open as you push it in, and light shines into the room. It seems more like a cave than a proper building though, and there are dark crevices and jagged rocks all over. You notice piles and piles of stuff strewn about. This must be all the things that have gone missing from the village at night. The stench is strong, and the rotten food burns your nose. This monster sure is a messy monster.

Then, it catches you unaware, and jumps out of a dark corner. It's crude mace swings down at Prulyassa."

((An opposed roll. One d20 for each babben, please. Each needs to roll higher than my roll to do whatever action they want to take. Not regular D&D rules, but whatevs.))

Pink Lemonade gave a little squeal. They’d been taken by surprise! Well, that was okay, as long as she didn’t get hit by the monster. “I need to dodge!” She sent the dice rolling first.

Lullaby did the same. Well, Prulyassa was the one being attacked, so the monster would be wide open. “I-I’ll attack?”

The dice, however, had other things in mind.