|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2012 9:59 am
As the show opens, and the company signature fades away, the screams of the audience are drowned out by the orchestral opening of Awake and Alive. Jimmy Monera and Lester Cryden walk out onto the ramp, each flash of light reflecting off of Jimmy's emblazoned white jacket. Lester grins proudly, holding a WWF Tag Team Championship belt over each shoulder. Behind them, Nathalie Roth claps her hands above her head, trying to inspire a louder ovation from the crowd. They make their way down the ramp, a little more abruptly than they would if they were entering a match, and all three of them enter the ring together. As the music fades, Lester pumps his fist in the air for the crowd, as Jimmy produces a microphone from inside of his jacket. "Tonight's lesson, my friends, is about faith. I know, we've discussed faith before, but this time it's different. This time, I'm talking about having faith not in God, and not in yourself, but in your friends. You see, a few days ago, I thought our tag team title run was doomed. We were facing two of the biggest men in the WWF, Gary and Stu Juggernaut, two men who traded in their brains at birth in exchange for more muscles. Two men who could lift me over their heads like I weighed nothing more than a steroid needle. I lost faith in the possibility of our victory. But I should have had faith... In this man."He moves over to Lester, and pats him on the shoulder. "You see, even after I suffered an embarrassingly early elimination, this man righ here still toughed it out. And as I watched from backstage, clutching the pair of knuckles that he'd refused to take from me, I got to see him single-handedly eliminate both of those hulking idiots. Nathalie could tell you, my jaw was hanging farther down than Gene Simmons's tongue. Because not only did Lester Cryden retain our tag titles for us, but he proved, just as he had the courage to state a few short months ago, that if he hadn't been cheated, he could have easily won the Royal Rumble."But enough about us. We're not here for us. We're here for you. We're here to give you the entertainment that you'll be otherwise deprived of tonight. But more than that, we're here to entertain your children. And what's more popular with kids today... Than the rap music?"The jeers from the crowd, which had been subdued up until now, start to steadily grow, as the crowd anticipates the life scarring expirience that they're about to have. "Now, don't worry... Having grwon up on the mean streets of Detroit, I know a thing or two about laying down some lyrics. And my fiancee just happens to sing the way angels oughtta sing. And Lester... Umm... Well, you were in prison longer than I was, so why don't you flash some gang signs, or something? I don't care, just sell it. Here we go!"He slips on a pair of shades, as the instrumental track from 'Hypnotyze' starts to play from off-stage. "Hah, righteous like your average Preacha
Send sinners off packing, they’re lacking, and they think God’s slacking
Like theirs, my night time prayers
Watch as my old cohorts in Detroit
Exploit the maladroit, using them like John Voigt
Jimmy been saved since the end of those days
Don’t look back, take no flack, even under attack
so let me save you, what I gave you
Cuz you need us, wanna see what, freed us
Who us? Yeah, Jimmy and Les (ehehehe)
Tight like Youngblood and Steam, we’re the team
This is our dream, taken to the extreme
(Pray that, pray that, pray that, ha ha!)
Save every lost soul readily, steadily
Pathetic emos remark saying that they’re cool and dark (nope)
So I just keep it real, (saying) how I feel
Coming with the Christian word (thank you God), join the herd
And then you can embed it, in your head just like I said it,
That Jesus’s word, we'll spread it."He tosses the microphone to Nathalie, who raises it up proudly. "Jesus Jesus Jesus, Now I see
You sacrificed yourself to save me
And I just can’t stop prasing you
Until the day I die, it’s what I’ll do"She passes it back to Jimmy, and he starts to rap again, but the music cuts off in mid sentence. "Did we not record the whole track, or something? Oh well, onto the next song. What'll it be, people? Savior's Paradise, or Not Afraid(for thou art with me)?"He's answered only by boos, from the crowd he's offended by trampling onto sacred ground.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 1:48 pm
"I never knew anyone could suck more then Vanilla Ice!" Hiro stepped out from the back, to a few boos. Talon then stepped out, and he was cheered by quite a few. The men headed down the ramp, and entered the ring, joining Jimmy and Lester. Hiro smirked again, and looked at the two men, before passing the microphone to Talon.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2012 2:09 pm
 Talon grabbed the mic, but could help but look at Hiro with a somewhat disappointed face, as he casually shook his head in disagreement. "Now was that necessary?" Talon asked Hiro not really expecting an answer. He turn his head to Cryden and Monera, after a small chuckle came from the crowd after his comment to Hiro. "Anyways, onto why Hiro and Myself are out here.." Talon said gesture to both himself and Hiro. "You see Hiro and I are scheduled to face you guys later tonight. Which by the way on a competitive level I'm looking forward to facing the current Tag Team Champions." Even when he was talking to assholes Talon couldn't help but be humble and polite. "Now I know we haven't been the most impressive team to grace The WWFG yet. Yet... but that's cause this tag team dynamic Hiro and I got working out was just blossoming. We had to find our grove, and now I think-" Talon stopped himself for a moment. "No.. Now I know we can beat you, and even one day take those titles from you." Talon paused as he took a couple steps forward closer to Jimmy and Lester. "Now that that's out of the way, and pleasantries are over. I gotta say... This gospel your preaching to the crowd." Talon said with an intense stare at the Tag Champs, as he gesture to the entirety of the crowd. "It's gotta stop, not only our you wrongly interpreting a belief I hold dear to my heart, along with millions and millions of other people and fans around the world. But your commenting the cardinal sin in any religion... Blasphemy... You are taking the spoiled word and broadcasting out to millions, and that my friends I can't allow. Tonight Hiro and I bring our own Crusade. Tonight we start our campaign for the W..W..F..G! Tag! TEAM! TITLES!" Talon dropped the mic, with what seemed to be a frustrated and anger look. He backed up gesturing for Hiro to follow. He climbed out the ring and marched up the ramp, it seemed something had gotten under Talon's skin, as he uncharacteristically stormed off with rage. The crowd was excited to see such passion come from Talon, however the The Exiles still had a mixed reaction as they left the Tag Team Champs in the ring.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:06 am
The champions stand there for a second, silent, looking a little confused. Maybe even a little insulted, at having their message cut short. Finally, Lester breaks the tension, by tapping Jimmy on the shoulder, and requesting the microphone from him. Jimmy, a little surprised to see Lester with something to say that isn't pre-written, obliges.
"I whole-heartedly disagree with them," he offers, the microphone raised to his lips. "L'il Wayne sucks way more than Vanilla Ice."
He pauses for a second, his comment actually eliciting laughter from the crowd, who'd been hissing at them like a herd of cobras not too long ago. "Well, now you've all met the brave men who've volunteered to be humiliated by us tonight. But I don't really like the idea of calling them 'Talon and Hiro.' It's so bland, and it doesn't have any personality. How about a more catchy team name, like 'The Stock Characters,' or 'The Writers' Conveniences,' or 'The French Army.' Or wait, if WWF can actually get the rights to it, how about calling them 'The Red Shirts?'"
He pauses again, this time earning cheers from the geekier portions of the audience, and not much from the rest of them. "In any case, Jimmy, now that those guys have said their final words, you were saying there was someone more threatening you were hoping to address today?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:34 pm
"I wouldn't say threatening," Jimmy answers, taking the microphone back from his protege. "Actually, this is a matter that affects a large number of our viewers... Particularly the ones with younger, sensitive children. Now, I've made it public knowledge that I haven't always been the wholesome role model that I am now. As my lovely soul mate is already well aware, I actually have a ten year old daughter back in Detroit- Her name is Talia, and despite my objections, she's allowed to watch every single episode of this show. Anyway, I received a call from her mother not too long ago, telling me that my child had been having a series of nightmares, all related to a single wrestler on our roster who'd been scaring her. So for her sake, and for the sake of any other child out there, I'd like to put out a Public Savior Announcement about this issue."
He turns to the titantron, where a picture of Harli Drummond can be seen. Several audience members applaud, happy to see an image of this Hall of Fame living legend. "I can't say I have anything against this man as a person. What I do take issue with is the lifestyle he represents. Not just emo... Oh no. Harli Drummond represents an entirely different level of emo. The level where you've grown up alone your entire life, and tried to compensate for it by passing yourself off as a lone wolf... Dressing threateningly, to try and make his social isolation look like something cool and dark. It's a level that I like to call 'Emo-fabulous.'"
He has to pause for a moment, as the booing from the crowd becomes loud enough to drown his voice out, even over the volume of the microphone. He stands there, tapping his foot, until it dies down a little. "So children, this man is nothing to be afraid of. This isn't a man who can steal your soul, or call down the forces of darkness. This is a man who can't get an erection without looking at a picture of Steve Borden in full make-up. this is a man who never would have lost his virginity if it wasn't for late night showings of The Crow. This is a man who considers Hot Topic his home away from home. And he is definitely not something to have nightmares about."
He pauses again, for the usual reasons. He's used to it at this point. Even amongst all the boos, he must have reached at least somebody out there. "Now, who wants to request our next song?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:46 am
Nightmare!
(Now your nightmare comes to life)
Dragged ya down below
Down to the devil's show
To be his guest forever
Peace of mind is less than never
Hate to twist your mind
But God ain't on your side
An old acquaintance severed
Burn the world your last endeavor"Nightmare" by Avenged Sevenfold began to play as Harli emerged from the backstage area looking pretty tired, there was dark rings under his eyes. Harli walked to the centre of the stage looking down at the people standing in the ring. He wondered what was the point of being called out by Jimmy when he wasn't even wanting to comeback after being screwed out of the Deific Championship. Harli then began to walk down to the ring and grabbed a mic from a stage hand before climbing into the ring and joining the others. Harli raised the mic to speak. He rubbed his eyes from the tiredness he was suffering from. "First things first, lil Jimmy. I'm sorry that I missed your big speech about me which I'm sure was quite interesting that kept the crowd on their feet but there's been something on my mind since you're return, Jimmy."Harli lowered the mic for a brief break before looking at Jimmy with tiredness in his eyes. "What is your business with me, Jimmy. Is it the fact that I defeated you to win the WWFG United States Championship many years ago or is it the fact that you never get your career to reach the level that mine is currently at."Harli began to pace back and forth before stopping to speak again. "Well Jimmy to be truthful I didn't really ignore your ramblings about me, I was more or less informed about but the whole thing but what really rustles my jimmies is that people like you constantly run their mouths off while they think they even understand me and my personal life. Everything you've said is wrong and a lie which is just like your faith in God, you probably only went to religion as a way out for your daughter's nightmares."Harli got into Jimmy's face before speaking again "There was a time where I could say I could respect you, Jimmy. The matches we had even if it was for the United States Championship but since you disappeared a few years ago everyone here and at home eventually forgot who you are or were but now that your back and trying to make yourself relevant again, your days are numbered Jimmy. Now I'm sure Lester, Hiro and Talon may have something to say but I'm going to ask you fellas to keep your mouth's shut for the time being because I'm sure Jimmy is going to explain why the ******** I am wasting my time with a ******** religious zealot." Harli lowered his mic and backed away from Jimmy Monera
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 5:14 am
As it becomes his turn to speak, Jimmy can barely wipe the smirk off of his face. "I think there's some confusion. When I asked the crowd what our next song should be, I wasn't expecting Jared Leto to come out and join the party."
Behind him, Lester looks confused, until Nathalie leans in and whispers that Jared Leto's the lead singer of thirty seconds to mars. Lester nods, understanding the joke a little better.
"You know, I have to say, this a huge shocker for me. I take the time out of my day to insult an emo, and he responds by accusing me of not understanding him? Wow, Harli, way to break barriers on that one. Like you're that hard to figure out. I don't need to read your DeviantArt page to understand you. I don't need to read your online diary, or count the scars on your wrists, or peruse your My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park CD collection, either. I already understand you, from your scene haircut all the way down to your goth boots."
The crowd calls for Jimmy to be pulled off of the stage ,but he's on a roll, and he's not going anywhere until he's gotten everything off of his chest. And he's not going to bring religion into this, either. "I understand that a guy like you... A sad, pathetic, eye-liner wearing guy like you... Will go to any lengths to protect his fragile, delicate emotions. Whether it's adopting a manufactured 'edgy' personality, wearing vampire fangs to a Twilight premiere so that you might get laid, or dangling an ancient victory over my head, there are no depths you wont hit. Although what can I expect from a Hall of Shamer like yourself?"
With a huge condescending smirk still plastered to his face, he steps forward, until he's only a few feet away from Harli's face. "Now if you'll excuse us, we're in the middle of a show. So either break out your douche-bag guitar and sing us a sad song about your misunderstood life, or get lost and go take a nap."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:23 pm
Harli was a little shocked by Jimmy's words.
"I was expecting better from you, Jimmy but it just seems you keep speaking in tongue that not even you're c**k sucking alter boy Lester can understand. Listen Jimmy I've been patient with the bullshit that you just keep coming up with and quite frankly it's begining to piss me off to no end, I will ask you one more time what do you want from me."
Harli took a few steps closer to Jimmy so they were now face to face.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 5:41 am
"I already told you exactly what I want, and I don't think I can possibly be more clear about it," Jimmy responds, not backing down. "But you know what? I'll say it again, just for you; We're doing a show here. So either sing us all a song, or get your emo-fabulous mangina out of here."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2012 2:33 am
Harli laughed before raising the mic to speak.
"I've got a good song for yo-
Harli then aimed the microphone towards Jimmy's jaw
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:15 am
Blindsided by the attack, Jimmy crumbles, his legs buckling out from beneath him. He collapses, barely able to clutch his jaw from the shot with the microphone. Seeing this, Lester charges, attempting to tackle Harli to the mat.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 1:07 am
Harli's back hit the mat from Lester's tackle. He tried to get out of the ring as fast as he could with the damage already been dealt to Jimmy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:07 am
Jimmy sits up, rubbing his jaw, glaring at Harli with anger and humiliation in his eyes. As Nathalie fawns over him, overly worried about him in an almost comical fashion, Lester gets back to his feet and starts screaming at Harli from behind the ropes as the 2012 Hall of Famer makes his hasty exit.
The screen goes dark, as Jimmy's promo comes to an end.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
