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Erm... Hi! I'm kinda new here, so forgive me if I've done all of this wrong, but I wrote this little snippet a while ago. It fits in with a story I've been writing, but it isn't actually part of the plot line, and is in a different point of view (my actual story is in the girl, Lily's, point of view)... Anyways, I was wondering what you guys think?

smile

She asked me how I was doing. It’s a normal question, isn’t it? I, of all people, should have had a witty reply to respond with, or at the very least the guts to mutter “I’m doing well,” or something of that nature. It didn’t really happen that way. I just stood there and stared. No sound came out of my mouth. She must think that I am incredibly weird, but I couldn’t tell her that my day had been terrible. I couldn’t tell her that I was freaking out, worrying about her every second of every day. I had to be strong so she didn’t have to be. I had to be the happy one. She had enough to deal with already; worrying about me did not need to be added to all of her pain.
She probably thinks that I’m clingy, overly worried, and overly protective. I am. Don’t I have the right to be? She’s the most beautiful, wonderful girl I’ve ever met. She doesn’t deserve to ever be unhappy, but I know that that isn’t possible. She has said just enough for me to pick up on the fact that something is terribly wrong, but nothing more. I sit there everyday, hoping that she’ll say something- anything. I want her to tell me that she’s fine- it’s what I pray for constantly. I want everything to be okay; I want her to tell me that everything is perfectly wonderful.
Then, of course, she will say it. She’s told me that she’s fine often enough. I prayed for it constantly, but when she said it, it wasn’t what I wanted. Not really. There was absolutely no way to believe it. It wasn’t the truth. There was solid evidence all around that it wasn’t true- what she said and didn’t say; how she carried herself; the way she’d been treating herself. You can always see it in her eyes when she’s lying. I don’t know if it ever will be the truth, but I need it to be. It has to be.
I wish that she would tell me what to do, because I am in way over my head. The problem is, she is too. I want to help her, but I have no idea how. Maybe everything was my fault to begin with. I should have done something different to stop things before they ever got to this point. Maybe I didn’t notice something soon enough or didn’t do something I should have; maybe I said or didn’t say something that was wrong. I keep blaming the other guy, the guy I claim did this to her, but maybe it was me all along who hurt her, the one person I vowed to never hurt.
Perhaps I should just be there for her. What if I don’t know how? What if I can’t help her? What if I try to, and end up making everything ten times worse? She’s upset enough as it is. Maybe I should just find someone else to deal with this, someone who would be better at handling this. Who would care, though? Why would anyone else want to help me? Would it be betraying her trust? Would she hate me forever? What if she already does hate me? They couldn’t do much for her that I couldn’t, could they? Or what if they tried, to, and they flipped her whole life upside down? The people who hurt her can’t get involved again. Lily is scared enough as it is. Maybe she just wants me to leave her alone. Maybe leaving her alone will solve everything, and things will begin to look up. But what if they don’t? What if I let her be, and she’s upset and alone for the rest of his life? I don’t want her to be upset at all. She doesn’t deserve that. What if I let her be, and someone else uses her weakness to their advantage? What if he comes back and finds a distressed Lily, totally vulnerable to whatever cruel games he wants to play? What if I let her be, like she seems to want, and it only gets worse? What if something goes wrong and she gets hurt? What if she hurts herself?
I’m probably overreacting. It all sounds so ridiculous. I know she thinks that I’m ridiculous, for sure. She would hate it if she found out that I’m sitting awake every night, fretting and even hyperventilating over everything that could happen and everything that has happened. Even my brother is getting sick of it. What ever happened to no tears? What happened to being strong for her? How did we end up like this? I’ve got to do something, anything to fix all of this. I can’t just leave her like this. It doesn’t matter what I have to do; I’ll do it. I’d give anything to see her smile again. She’s the one person I can’t live without. They’d think I’m crazy if they knew; maybe I am. I have good reason, though. I love her.