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Robert loved his division. He realized it over and over every time a new set of girls got added in, and thanked H much the way someone would thank a deity. It paid off to have a perverted old man head your division, because all the pretty ladies got recruited. He knew, deep down, he wanted nothing from them, but a pretty face and a nice a** were always good company when one had a job to do.

And that was why Robert loved Life.

He knocked on the door of one of the new girls, the one he'd only met for a few minutes. Maybe those trainees hadn't wanted his doughnuts and coffee after their mission, but like hell was he going to let it go to waste. He brought Sasha a box of them, and a cup of joe - with no idea of whether she liked these things or not. It was the gesture that mattered, right?

"Housekeeping," He called out in a high-pitched, oddly feminine voice.

Sasha was treated to a brilliant smile, and when she actually asked if he was housekeeping, that smile turned to a laughing grin. "I ain't actually here to clean your house, sweetheart." He chuckled out. "It was just a joke. I did bring you stuff to make your house more dirty, though. If you like doughnuts?" He held the box out like an offering. "And some coffee?" The cup was held out as well. "And if you don't, then you get to sit there and watch me eat them. No big." His s**t-eating grin softened. "So.. what I'm trying to say is, uh, I come in peace."

She kept calling him 'sir'. It was unsettling the man, but he wasn't showing it. The only people in his life who deserved the name 'sir' was his father, his superiors, and Jordan. Maybe. Though, Jordan would cuff him over the head if he started calling him sir. Robert, though.. Robert and sir didn't compute in his head.

So he worked to fix that.

"And it's just Robert, dove." His lips twisted to one side. "No 'sir'. I may be a rank up, but I'm nobody's 'sir', and I never will be." His hands lifted slightly as they held up his offerings. ".. so can I come in?"

"Awesome." Robert really wouldn't have minded eating them all on his own, but this way, all his efforts wouldn't go to waste. He strode inside, big boots clomping noisily with every step, until he made himself comfortable by dropping right down on the floor, ignoring any chairs or bed that may have been a better choice, and setting the gifts in front of him. "Do you like coffee too? 'Cause I brought you one, but I know a lot of chicks don't dig it. Too strong or whatever. I made it with lots of sugar just in case."

He helped himself to a doughnut, and let his legs straighten out in front of him. They were long enough to hit on the post of the bed, and he had to readjust the position for comfort.

"Sasha, that was your name, right?" He said as he chewed, a puff of white powder leaving his lips from the exhale. "And Nona, I'm guessing that's your weapon huh. I can see why she'd call you dove. It's the kind of nickname you give someone who looks pure. Innocent, that kind of shi- uh, stuff." He'd just admitted that she seemed innocent, so he tried to curb his tongue around her. That would fail quick enough.

"Hope you don't mind if I call you that too. I mean, I don't really think when I say things. Like. Ever." He gave her a toothy grin. There was doughnut in it.

Robert set the coffee aside, and watched Sasha take a doughnut. The girl looked like sugar was orgasmic, and Robert choked on his bite when he realized it. The poor thing was probably on some kind of diet. Why were chicks always going on diets? Especially this one, she was so thin, she needed all the sugar she could get.

Robert watched her squirrel a few away, and shook his head, pushing the box closer. "Nah, you don't get it sweetheart. I brought those for you. They're all yours. Trust me, I had a cart full of 'em, and nobody touched the whole damn thing when y'all came back from the mission." There was the tiniest tone of guilt in his voice, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. "So yeah. These are all for you. And if you need more, they're in the caf."

At the mention of a noisy weapon, interrupted by more wonder of doughnuts, Robert snorted in amusement. "Flour, sugar, happiness. And no, I don't have that problem. My girl, she don't like to talk to me much. Jezebel's her name."

There was a grumble of discontent in his head. "She's usually pretty grumpy, and she pretty much hates me."

He heard no argument against the statement.

She looked like a cocaine addict. A very young, sweet, adorable cocaine addict. Robert tried not to laugh at the image this conjured up, of a little child snorting up while holding a doll.

It didn't work. He laughed.

"You're welcome, doll." OH, that made it worse. He buried his head in his hands and faked coughing to hide the laughter.

Talking about weapons sobered him up enough, and every time she mentioned Nona getting excited, unprofessionally, Robert got the hint fast enough. He wasn't quick about most things, but hinting about sex was his specialty.

"You know, from what I hear? A lot of people have weapons that seem to try to make naughty comments. I think our weapons are sexually frustrated."

HA.

"I mean, I would be too, if I lost my ability to ********, Robert stop. Look at her, do you think she's okay with this conversation?

It was the longest sentence Jezebel had uttered in months, and Robert listened. He looked at Sasha, and gave her a guilty smile. "Sorry 'bout that sugar. Anyway, you're not alone. I'm kind of sad my weapon doesn't get a little more excited. I might like it. But I can see why that would bug you."

His hand reached up and brushed her hair back gently, before patting her head. She seemed like such a sweet girl. He would have to remember not to try and do anything too lewd to her. "Your best bet is just to ignore it. She probably won't get as much pleasure out of teasing a cutie like you if you didn't react so well." He pinched her cheeks, the pink in them obvious.

Robert felt like he was starting to think of Sasha as a little china doll, and he was the bull trampling around in her shop. The poor thing looked like she was going to explode, just because he'd said ********. He started to feel like his presence was a trouble, because there was no way in hell he was going to be able to keep his mouth clean for long.

"Yeah. Well." He cleared his throat, and looked straight ahead. Even he could hear the lie in her voice, and he started to feel real bad for the girl. She was going to live the rest of her short life being uncomfortable. Maybe.. maybe if she was more open about sex, Nona's comments wouldn't bother her so much. He gave her a side-glance, and cocked his head.

What Sasha needed was a good, healthy ******** of ********?" Robert's eyes glittered with surprise. "She isn't even in our division. She's Mist. But she's good in a fight. She's kind of.. an overachiever, you know? A little high strung about always being the best. Though, that gets her in trouble some times too - but I guess you just saw an example of that, didn't you." He chuckled at the scene Allan had made of the naughty trainees during the mission's end. "I've fought with her a bunch before. She's a good person to have with you, as long as you've got no personal issues with her."

He rolled his eyes - the amount of people that she now had personal issues with was growing. Candace was burning bridges faster than she could make them, all because she couldn't keep her legs closed.

"But I don't think you'll ever have that problem, dove." He smiled and gave her a wink. Sasha was definitely not the kind of girl he was going to find on her back in the wrong bed.

"You don't want to know why they fight. Trust me. You'll just turn red again." Robert snickered and reached out, pinching a little piece of Sasha's doughnut off and popping it in his mouth. The fact that she thought Clerise was capable surprised him, though. He didn't know Clerise enough to make a real decision, but she reminded him a lot of himself - and that just meant she was more prone to ******** ups than people like Candace. Putting Candace and Clerise on the same level just meant Sasha was naive, and prone to making quick judgements before getting to know the whole story. It made sense - Sasha seemed like a rather naive little morsel.

And the poor thing was stuck in a division led by the greatest hunter of all - H. That man was not hunting for shadows and monsters, like the rest of them. He was hunting for something much, much darker.

Robert wanted to wrap his big arms around Sasha and keep her out of sight until she got old and ugly. Or at least found someone else to protect her. Someone strong. It had to be someone strong. Leon was free, wasn't he? Maybe..

He'd almost missed what she was saying, as he mind wandered. He snapped back when he heard Dr. H being mentioned, and had to backpedal enough to catch the jist of what Sasha was saying, before she looked at him.

His face lit up like the Fourth of July. "Hey, she likes me, huh? How come? Is it my stunning good looks?" He rubbed his chin like the thinking man. "Or maybe she thinks I'm smart- no, it's gotta be the looks thing. I bet she hasn't even seen my abs yet, has she?" He started to lift his shirt.

Robert's happy go lucky, easy-going smile melted into pure sadness. He put down his shirt, and curled inward like a kicked puppy. Nobody ever turned down a peek at his abs. Nobody. ): *

He got that Nona was calling her a prude for not wanting to see the goods, but he still felt a little sting when she said it. "Sorry." He grumbled, rubbing the back of his thick neck nervously with one big hand. "It's never been a big deal for me. I mean, I work real hard on my body, so I show it off. Didn't mean to make you feel bad though."

He was going to feel like a real s**t if she ended up catching him accidentally walking out of his dorm naked one day. In fact, a lot about Sasha was making Robert question himself a little too much for his own comfort.

"I'm sorry." He repeated again. "Would you rather I just get out of your hair? I didn't come here just to piss you off."










*this is a lie