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 Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:07 pm
QUEST FORM
Basics ::
xxxxxName: Bo
xxxxxNickname(s): Fluffy, Beau
xxxxxFaction: Hearts
xxxxxAge: Egg right now, 20 when adult.
xxxxxHeight: 5'5"
xxxxxBody Type: Slender
Poké-basics ::
xxxxxPokemon: Mareep
xxxxxPokemon type: Electric
xxxxxNatural Ability: Plus
xxxxxPerma: Prema, I would like to keep it a mareep when he grows to an adult
xxxxxMoveset: Wild Charge, Return, Attract, Charge Beam
Personality ::
xxxxxPositive Traits
Passionate: Bo is very passionate with his job. He has a taste for fashion and loves the glitz and sparkles of it. He dedicates his time by designing outfits to fit a person's need or just to be able to put his vision he sees comes to life. He can spend all his time looking for the perfect lace and the right fabric and, if he doesn't see what he's looking for, he makes it happen.
His passion has a down side as well. When he continues on a project he is passionate about, he tends to forget to eat or sleep. Or he feels really lethargic, so big projects cram together isn't going to do very well.
Creative: He loves to see beautiful things. He believes that in everyone there is a beautiful rose just waiting to bloom and he would love to show case that rose. He is able to highlight that person's character by making the beautiful garments that fits to everyone's personality and he just can't help it.
Yet, sometimes Bo makes a mistake and he has to simply move on, quick, and not dwell in it. If he doesn't he tends to stress over it and then later he would come back to it to see if there is anything he can do to salvage it. Sometimes he might make the mistake into something beautiful...or just use the cloth he used in his mistake and salvage it for further use. If the piece was for a customer he would have to do it over again. Bo is a perfectionist.
Then there are times when he meets a customer who annoys him or can't deal with. He can sometimes channel that anger and annoyance to his work to make something fabulous....or not. He can sometimes sabotage his project and he even hates that because he doesn't like waisting material. For an extra price in his work, he will over look this....hatred, and work.
His clothes are a work of art, and can be bought for the right price.
xxxxxNeutral Traits
Sassy: Bo has a sassy spirit, which could be bad and good depending on the person.
People may see Bo as rude. With his fashionista attitude and stubborness, people seem his as someone who they won't get along with and that Bo might force his views on some people.
Others may see Bo as pert or bold smart. They see that Bo is willing to take a chance at things and that he know's how to handle a situation when ever there is a problem that comes his way.
It can go either way for anyone who knows or doesn't know Bo.
xxxxxNegative Traits
Stubborn: Forget about it. If you want to persuade Bo, you better move on. Stopping Bo is like stopping a freight train and that is impossible. When Bo get's a vision there is nothing that would stop him and he will see his vision out. He will go to any lengths to get the job done and see his creation finish. Bo will not sleep or eat until he does and even if you remind him, he'll forget when his goal is in his mind.
Bo eventually breaks out of his stubbornness when it concerns him the most. Meaning, if he is trying not to eat because of getting a piece done and when he can't go any further, he will eat so he doesn't collapse. When he is stubborn about a piece of his work and he sees he cannot go any further with his piece, he will leave it alone and go to another piece, planning to come back later to it, no sense to waste time when he could be productive. If he is arguing with someone, he will eventually give in when he sees that his actions were not of the best. And even so, he might not be forgiven with his stubbornness.
Bo ends up alone most of the time, even though he is very social. His two flaws are his major weakness.
Irresponsible: He always leaves everything behind and always creates a mess. He is always loosing something and always get's in trouble. He is constantly moving from place to place and really needs someone, a friend, to look after him and keep him organized. His stubbornness affects his health, forgetting to eat and sleep. He forgets to talk to other people and sometimes he loses friends that way.
But he is not always irresponsible. He works his hardest to get the job done, even though it might take him longer then he realized, with all his stuff just lying about. He will make the deadline in time and, after he is done, he will eat and shower and do a little touch up. He does, after all, make sure his appearance is at the top. No sense on delivering a fine piece of fashionable art to his customers looking like a slob.
xxxxxLikes: Bows, ribbons, lace, dresses, skirts, Rose Tea, Very Handsome Buff Men, Afternoon Tea time, Social Gatherings, Fashion
xxxxxDislikes: Being sweaty, Dirty things, Wearing Pants, Rude People, Cleaning, Meat Pie, Crawly Bugs (Beautiful Bugs from Butterfree, Beautifly, and Leavanny doesn't count towards that category), Getting Wet,
xxxxxFavourite Food: Garden Salad with Rose Tea
xxxxxHobbies: Sewing, Knitting, and Chatting.
xxxxxInterests: Different types of Tea, Drawing, Traveling
xxxxxFaction Opinion: Bo loves working in the Heart Faction. Here, you can get the best of the best here. There is simply nothing missing here when you want it. Also the guards....*purrs*
xxxxxAspirations: To be Top Designer in all of Wonderland
Employment::
xxxxxTitle: The Sparkling Fashionesta
xxxxxJob: Makes garments for all those who need it.
Appearance::
xxxxxHair: Shoulder length blond hair with a little bounce.
xxxxxEyes: Sharp sassy sea green eyes
xxxxxSkin tone: Ivory with a hint of a light tan
xxxxxPalette: Mareep
xxxxxClothing: Heeled Boots, leggings, a fluffy skirt, ruffled top, and a bow
xxxxxAdditional: Has a heart randomly appeared on the side of the stocking
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Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:04 pm
Okay, heyo! I'm gonna talk about things in order, from top to bottom, so you can run on down it with me !
First off, I very much like the concept for this character... he's faaa~bulous ROFLROFL
I think he already has the makings of a very strong character, and I want to help you build him up.
Passionate: For the most part, fine. A little bit on the short side, but here's what I'd like to know: He's an artist with cloth, so what happens when he hits a wall and he's unable to 'make it happen?' How does he react? Not everyone can be perfect all the time, and what really makes a character strong is what he/she does when faced with their own imperfection.
Creative: Same deal as the last trait! I want to see exceptions! What happens when Bo makes a mistake? What happens when he meets someone who he just can't work with? I'd like to see you expand this so it's not so absolute!
Shy: As it stands, this seems to me like a negative with some aesthetically positive factors! Reticence and the lack of ability to gracefully accept compliments don't really strike me as neutral, you see? What you want is a trait that can go either way, positively or negatively, depending on the situation. From what I'm seeing of Bo, shyness serves only as a sort of niche appeal, and I don't think I like seeing him constricted by it! You might want to consider scrapping it, and possibly expanding on a few things you set up in here. You say he's brazen and confident? Why not change this to sassy? He's definitely fabulous and more than a little flamboyant, why not give him a bit of bite? Sass can be taken either positively or negatively, depending on who Bo speaks to!
Stubborn: I think this is very good for Bo, but again, again, again, I want you to think exceptions! When you put in absolutes like this, you limit him from developing. I want you to try to think about what might eventually break Bo, and how his stubbornness might affect his art and his quality of life. I can't say people don't act like this, but I want you to try to display the consequences of this in a little more detail.
Irresponsible: I must sound like a broken record by now, but exceptions, exceptions, exceptions. This is, to be honest, the most glaring trait where this really trips up Bo's personality. You say that he's a passionate artist, a fashionista, but he's irresponsible ALL the time? I don't think that would show very positively on his work! If you can show these exceptions, you can really intensify and hone in on his irresponsibility in other areas, and it can potentially be another excellent character flaw (think: how does his stubborn focus on his work and his refusal to give up on what he's doing affect his relationships with others, and his own health?)
Faction Opinion: We on the RP staff don't really like people playing the staff characters, or giving them personalities. There's no real evidence to provide that the Red Queen enjoys “living the high life.” I'd like it if you could omit this part about the Queen's own sensibilities and stick to how BO feels and how HE likes the faction!
rofl rofl there's a lot to chew through here, but I don't want you to think these are big problems. They all really pertain to the same thing, absolutes and exceptions, and with a little bit of work, you can build Bo into a very strong character.
Good luck, and I'll be back on your next edit <3
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Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:31 am
QUOTE Okay, heyo! I'm gonna talk about things in order, from top to bottom, so you can run on down it with me !
First off, I very much like the concept for this character... he's faaa~bulous ROFLROFL
I think he already has the makings of a very strong character, and I want to help you build him up.
Passionate: For the most part, fine. A little bit on the short side, but here's what I'd like to know: He's an artist with cloth, so what happens when he hits a wall and he's unable to 'make it happen?' How does he react? Not everyone can be perfect all the time, and what really makes a character strong is what he/she does when faced with their own imperfection.
Creative: Same deal as the last trait! I want to see exceptions! What happens when Bo makes a mistake? What happens when he meets someone who he just can't work with? I'd like to see you expand this so it's not so absolute!
Shy: As it stands, this seems to me like a negative with some aesthetically positive factors! Reticence and the lack of ability to gracefully accept compliments don't really strike me as neutral, you see? What you want is a trait that can go either way, positively or negatively, depending on the situation. From what I'm seeing of Bo, shyness serves only as a sort of niche appeal, and I don't think I like seeing him constricted by it! You might want to consider scrapping it, and possibly expanding on a few things you set up in here. You say he's brazen and confident? Why not change this to sassy? He's definitely fabulous and more than a little flamboyant, why not give him a bit of bite? Sass can be taken either positively or negatively, depending on who Bo speaks to!
Stubborn: I think this is very good for Bo, but again, again, again, I want you to think exceptions! When you put in absolutes like this, you limit him from developing. I want you to try to think about what might eventually break Bo, and how his stubbornness might affect his art and his quality of life. I can't say people don't act like this, but I want you to try to display the consequences of this in a little more detail.
Irresponsible: I must sound like a broken record by now, but exceptions, exceptions, exceptions. This is, to be honest, the most glaring trait where this really trips up Bo's personality. You say that he's a passionate artist, a fashionista, but he's irresponsible ALL the time? I don't think that would show very positively on his work! If you can show these exceptions, you can really intensify and hone in on his irresponsibility in other areas, and it can potentially be another excellent character flaw (think: how does his stubborn focus on his work and his refusal to give up on what he's doing affect his relationships with others, and his own health?)
Faction Opinion: We on the RP staff don't really like people playing the staff characters, or giving them personalities. There's no real evidence to provide that the Red Queen enjoys “living the high life.” I'd like it if you could omit this part about the Queen's own sensibilities and stick to how BO feels and how HE likes the faction!
rofl rofl there's a lot to chew through here, but I don't want you to think these are big problems. They all really pertain to the same thing, absolutes and exceptions, and with a little bit of work, you can build Bo into a very strong character.
Good luck, and I'll be back on your next edit <3 Checklist
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:01 am
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:39 pm
Okay, heyo! I'm gonna talk about things in order, from top to bottom, so you can run on down it with me !
You're making big steps in the right direction, without a doubt.
Passionate – You've done a good job of making this trait two-sided, but I feel like it gets a little tripped up in the wording. “Yet there are times when his passion fails him.” This phrase almost seems to... miss the point you're conveying. I think you should toss out the whole “passion” bit, and replace it with examples rather than the ambiguity you have now. I know what you mean, but nobody else is going to understand that his “passion failing him” means that he's hit a wall in his design process. I think the frustration and the depression that follows are both awesome aspects to it, but I want examples, rather than just the effects. Get what I mean?
Creative – I love the direction you've taken with this. Him using his own mistakes to try and turn imperfection INTO perfection is an excellent method of showcasing Bo's creativity. His taking a break and coming back to what once seemed ruined and finding a new way to work really does strike me. That said, I think you should get rid of the final sentence, the one that states he's a perfectionist, and I'll tell you why I think that: If he was a perfectionist, would he really try to fix mistakes he made, rather than starting fresh? I absolutely see the reasoning behind keeping professional for his customers and making sure the work he does for THEM is top form, but I don't see how he would turn around mistakes he's made on his own if he prefers perfection.
You tap into another wonderful facet in your third paragraph for this trait: You start to bring in other people, and how Bo reacts to them. I'm super glad you did this, and I'd like it if you could expand it to all of your traits! You've written a lot about how Bo's line of work shapes him, and it's even giving good glimpses at his personality outside of the workplace, but I want you to really try to hone in on this, okay? How does Bo's creativity affect his interactions with others? Same with the other traits, but we can come back to them if you want.
Sassy – You've... definitely got the “trait that can swing both ways” base down, haha. Now, I want you to expand on this! Toss out the last two line, and expand on the last two paragraphs! I want to know how Bo's sass makes him act, inside AND outside the workplace, and how they make him rude or pert, bold, and smart.
Stubborn – Excellent work again. I don't have much to say, here, but what I'd like to see is for you to emphasize, a little more, that it's real strain, absolute exhaustion, being so famished he's about to collapse, that will eventually break him and force him to stop. As it stands, this is a little ambiguous, but the point is definitely there, I just want to see you polish it up so it really shines through, you dig?
Irresponsible – To be honest, I think this is now your closest trait to what I want to see of all of them. It has the perfect combination of Bo's job and his personal life, so you get a taste of how it affects both worlds, as well as some of his social skills worked in, to boot. You may want to think about getting Bo an assistant of some kind to help him, to try and keep him SOMEWHAT organized. He may be a bit fab and a bit in-your-face, but I don't think Bo will have any trouble at all finding friends, and maybe an assistant, someone who's PAID to keep Bo sane, will help combat the loneliness.
Another thing you might want to think about is whether or not Bo's afraid of anything! We've added a Fears section to our quest form since last I crit you, and I think it helps to think about things like fears as well as aspirations when shaping a character. No pressure though, that's just if you want! I'll grandfather you in if you don't want to think of one, haha.
So here's the skinny. You're doing a great job improving with Bo, and you're definitely on the right track to approval. A few clarifications here, one or two expansions there, and a little bit more on Bo's life outside the workplace, and I'll definitely be ready to approve you.
Sorry about the wait btw, haha!
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:12 pm
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:04 pm
This has been some crazy trip for both of us, hasn't it?
You've done excellent, and I'd like to thank you for sticking with it and working on Bo so hard.
Approved. Set up your journal whenever!
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