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 Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 11:59 am
 All things considered, little Vesta was not looking too bad. She was a little on the thin side, of course, but she'd never had the bulk of other Firekin to begin with. The only difference most noticeable was the dark, troubled shade of her eyes and the matted fur.
She, Fia and Naar-Ehuka had been gone for some days. Had spent hours walking and walking under the sun and through the shadows of the evening and early morning. They had travelled until the sand became something else completely and they were forced to turn back for fear of wandering too deep into rogue country. On their return they had come across some rocks where a small pool sat hidden and depleting; losing its moisture to the sun. The three of them had stayed there for a time, drinking only a little as they mulled over the seriousness of the situation. They may have found a small pool but the sun would drink it faster than any of them could. It had not been worth the effort to find. Their attempt had, as always, been futile.
In any case, being out of the lands for so long had meant that they'd missed out on a lot of vital occurrences. Unfortunately the occurrences that had reached them had not been good. Attacks from Nergui. Strange refugees arriving. Arguments over what should be done about their future. And now a team were preparing to head out to claim water for the impending war.
Vesta had never felt so troubled in her entire life.
But perhaps even worse than the war - or it felt like it anyway - was the loss of Nur'yu. Vesta had never really known the young male but he had been the nephew of her best friend, Fia. And Fia had taken the news badly. Very badly indeed. They had not spoken for days and if Vesta went to try and speak with her, she was ignored completely...or, as one occasion, outright attacked. Vesta's neck still felt bruised from where the fiery female had lashed out - though thankfully claws had been left out of it. Grief was a strange thing but she had been told that the pain of it would dull in time. Her grandmother had been killed and though her father had been sad at the time, he was well enough now.
She sighed, feeling strangely sorrowful, as she rested up for her next outing into the outer desert. An outing that - of course - would be pointless. Her rank was obsolete. She was obsolete.
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:04 pm
 Times had been hard and it was taking a toll on red cat. Water was growing more scarce and it had been said that they would start to travel further than before and take it from others if they would not yield to the force of the firekin. For once, Xipil didn't know what to do.
He was infuriated at the death of his nephew, not nearly as much as his siblings or his parents but he was grieving none the less. He just didn't show it as openly as the rest of his family, he had never been one that was good at showing his emotions but that was what made him a good soldier and an even better brigadier.
He was level-head and had little issue figuring out the next course of action. He wanted to join the ranks of the firekin going out to seek out water. He wanted to be one of the ones to seek revenge on those that took the life of Nur'yu. But there were so many things preventing him from doing that. The main thing, however was his sister and fellow brigadier, Azar. She sought revenge more adamantly than he did, as did her mate.
But they couldn't both leave, someone had to stay behind to ensure the security of the pride. The question was then, who should go and should he try to convince his sister to stay while he went out in her place. He wasn't sure he'd be able to do it. Azar was a mother who was angry, there was little he would be able to do.
The question was, should he even try?
Those thoughts are what lead him to wander across the sands. His blue eyes were unfocused as he stared blankly before him.
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:14 pm
The steady tread of a wandering lion.
It was a comfort to know that she wasn't alone with her thoughts. A comfort to know that there were others around going about their daily business. Continuing on with life despite the hardships that had been and the hardships that were to come. Vesta knew, after all, that Firekin were warriors but it worried her greatly that some might see this as some sort of game. And those fools would end up dead, no doubt, if they did.
It was only a few moments later when the sound of a lion's paws grew louder that she looked up and realised that it was Xipil. Her heart did a funny little flip in her chest - though the feeling seemed somewhat inappropriate now with impending doom on the horizon. She didn't think that he had noticed her yet but by his less than purposeful looking wandering, she thought he probably had a lot on his mind, too. These were heavy thoughts, indeed. She even felt weighed down as she tried to stand, running a paw self consciously over her chest to try and smooth the matted curls. It was a pointless effort. It would take more than that to groom out days of wandering in the barren lands.
She wondered, perhaps, whether she ought to leave him alone as Fia had also wanted to have been left alone. He wasn't as emotionally open as his other siblings, perhaps, but would he be able to tell her to go if he truly wanted her to? He probably would. Or she hoped so, anyway.
Shyly, and almost cautiously, the female trod her way lightly across the sand towards him, slowing when she came within hearing distance. "Xipil?" Her voice was quiet but rough sounding from lack of water and days spent on her feet. "Are you...okay?" Her ears fell down against her head. "I heard...about what happened whilst I was away. I'm...so sorry."
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:28 pm
He didn't notice her until she spoke to him. He blinked, head snapping in her direction. It took a minute for his eyes to refocus on her. "Oh, hello Vesta," he mumbled a slight nod of his head. "I'm fine," he replied because truthfully he was just that. Fine. His thoughts were heavy but physically he was fine. He didn't share his grieving like the others, he kept it more inside.
"Yes, it was quite the tragedy," he lamented heaving a bit of a sigh. His eyes were sad but the rest of his expression was a stony one. "My sister isn't taking it well, I worry that she will do something foolish," he told her seeing no reason to keep things from her. Vesta was one of the few lions that he completely trusted. It was a rare thing for the male, something he truly only extended to family.
"These are difficult times," he began, though he knew she was aware of this. The only ones that wouldn't be were likely the few cubs in the pride. "Leaving the newly promoted to figure things out, but I cannot help but be concerned that in her grief Azar will act foolish and endanger more than just herself," he was spilling his thoughts to her without realizing. He had the tendency to think out loud. "I cannot decide if I should step up more and force her to let me take her place or allow her to go forward and seek justice."
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:42 pm
It took her a moment to decipher whether his greeting meant that he wanted her to stay or not. His eyes looked sad but he looked well, otherwise. Or as well to be expected in any case. When he continued to speak, she took it as a sign that he was happy for her to stay a while, sidling a little closer to him.
"I cannot imagine that she is. Poor, poor Azar." Vesta, of course, was not a mother, but she could imagine the pain well enough. A horrible, gut-wrenching pain that lingered in the heart and ate away at you. She could not imagine a more terrible loss than that of losing a child, particularly one so young. To make it worse, she feared that Nur'yu would not be the last. How many other mothers and fathers would have to say an unexpected farewell to their offspring. How many siblings would have to watch the life of their brothers and sisters fade away? And what of her with her warrior kin? She could not bear the thought of it.
She thought on his words a moment, wanting to answer him as honestly as she could. "You know your sister better than I, Xipil. But grief can do strange things to a person. Can make them act...out of character. Honestly, I think it would probably be better if she stayed but is there anything or anyone who could stop her if her heart is set on it? She will want to go for her son. To see to it that his death was not for nothing." She frowned. "But it seems to me that this venture into other territory isn't about vengeance. It is about preparation. Maybe you could convince her that she should permit a sibling to go in her stead? Until she has come to terms with what has happened? You are both of the same family. Both of the same rank. You could go in her name."
But even as she spoke her heart shuddered with worry. Was she persuading Xipil to head out into danger? To a place she could not follow? It was foolish, perhaps, to worry about him when he was so strong and noble. But war seemed to have no care for what lives it claimed. What it if took him, too? What if he left and never returned without him ever having known how she...
No. She couldn't be pessimistic. Not now.
"Is there...is there anything I can do to help, Xipil?" And even as the question was spoken she felt foolish for saying it. What could she possibly do that he could not?
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:19 pm
"I cannot imagine the suffering she, or her mate, are going through," he commented, because he could not. Xipil never had children, nor did he really think he ever would have kids, and thus his grief was no where near the level of Azar's. He doubted he would ever understand what she was going through, though truthfully he never wished to suffer the same pain. He struggled enough with menial things, he was not sure that he would be able to handle emotion of that magnitude.
"I believe her grief clouds her judgement, I believe that my parents see it as well," he stated after a moment of consideration. "It certainly cloud's Khin'del's," he clucked his tongue in disappointment. This was one of the reasons he was so emotionally detached, emotions complicated things. It clouded judgement and that was something he would have nothing of. "I wish to go in her stead, I am certain that my siblings feel the same way but convincing Azar to remain behind...that is a challenge I do not think I will be able to overcome," he sighed, shaking his head slowly. "The problem with my family is that we are all head-strong and stubborn creatures," he explained, tail flicking behind him thoughtfully. "Once our mind is set upon something, it is difficult to persuade us otherwise."
That was one of the many reasons that he had risen to his rank. He pushed and pushed until he achieved what he had set his mind upon. There was little that would stop him. "I fear that I will not be able to keep her from what she wishes and if she strives to go, then I must remain behind in order to keep the center safe."
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:31 pm
Ah, so that was the problem. He was caught. Caught between duty and love of his family. He worried for his sister but his rank put him in a difficult position. They were both brigadiers and as such it only made sense that one should go and one should stay. There were Firekin here to protect, after all. Vesta listened to him without word, though she had seated herself to take the weight off of her tired paws. Behind her, her tail swished side by side in time with her thoughts.
"Stubborn is correct." She replied with a ghost of a smile. "But I think you should speak with her, Xipil. You are...different from the others. You are...a soothing presence." She felt embarrassed suddenly, but pressed on nonetheless. "What I mean to say, is, you are not easy to temper. You think rationally and calmly. Perhaps you can instil some of that calm onto Azar so that she's at least thinking a little more clearly before she makes the decision." She flicked her gaze up to him. "And if she really does want to go and you really cannot go to be at her side, perhaps there is someone else you can send in your stead? Someone you trust to keep an eye on things?" Even as she spoke she tried desperately to think of someone who could be offered. Someone like Xipil who was strong and level-headed. Unfortunately all she thought of were fiery tempered Firekin who would only encourage rage, not dampen it.
Oh, not all.
"Maybe even my brother, Atesh?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:52 pm
He hadn't considered that, of course he wasn't sure if he wanted to have that conversation. He was uncertain whether or not he would be able to handle the emotions of his distressed sibling. He had never been one that was good for comforting. Still, Vesta had a point because he was one of the more calm and rational thinkers in his family. "You think?" He asked, though the question was more rhetorical than anything. He cleared his throat before nodding.
"You're right," he paused to offer her a semblance of a smile. "I'll seek her out for a conversation," he told Vesta after a moment. He was thinking of how best to approach the conversation with his sister. He had to tread carefully, he hardly wanted to further upset the strong lioness. He didn't imagine he would like to duel his sister under any circumstances. Especially not when she was enraged. "I'll see what I can do to persuade her or help her with her grief."
He considered her proposal and then nodded his head. "I'll have to see what I can do if she insists. I have some mind of who to send, there are few that I regard highly enough to send to keep an eye on my sister. It will take some serious consideration."
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Posted: Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:55 am
She offered him a kind smile in return and gave an encouraging nod. "I think that would be the best idea. She loves her family. She'll come around." She reached out as if to pat him on the paw but seemed to think better of it, standing and casting her gaze out to the dreaded horizon.
"I'm sure whoever you choose to go in your stead will be suitable, Xipil. I don't think anyone would want to see your sister bring herself only more pain and grief." Vesta's gold eyes seemed to dull a little and she turned back to look at him. He was a striking, powerful lion with those same face stripes that he shared with many of his family members. For a moment she was quiet, considering her next words. And then, she strengthened her resolve and spoke.
"If...if you go out with the others, will you come and see me before you go? I mean...to say goodbye? We don't speak as often as we should but--I---well, I do consider you my friend." She gave him a more sheepish expression. "And I will worry." She wondered, distantly, whether he'd seen much of the other lioness of whom Fia was trying to set him up with. Wondered whether they were a good match.
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Posted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 7:56 pm
"Only time will tell," he commented solemnly, letting out a soft sigh as he thought about his sister. He pitied her, felt sorry and wished he could do more to help, perhaps allowing her to avenge her child would be the best way. Although he could not agree with allowing both Azar and Khin'del into the fray. Still, Azar seemed more calm and level-headed than her mate. Neither seemed in fair conditions however and that was what was preventing him from releasing any concern.
He lost himself to his thoughts when Vesta made her request. At first he didn't understand, it took a moment for the words to sink in, then he blinked as though he were confused. He swallowed slowly trying to think of the best way to respond, to him it was a strange request and not one that he would have thought she would have asked of him. Still, she had proven time and time again to be the ear he needed when he needed someone to listen.
So he would see her before he left.
"Of course," he told her when he finally spoke. "It won't be a goodbye," he stated, flicking his tail at the thought. "It will be a farewell, I'll be coming back. You don't need to worry. I am more than capable of handling myself," he insisted seeming to hold himself taller. "You should inform me of when you go on your long excursions seeking water," he added as an afterthought. "You should also take it easier, I can tell it is taking a toll upon you."
See Vesta, he did care!
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Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:37 pm
She felt her face grown hot beneath her fur at his delayed response, folding her ears back against the flat of her head. "I'll try not to." But she couldn't help it. She was a bit of a worrier. "But...thank you. It would mean a lot." She supposed he had a point, too. She tended to just disappear out into the desert without thinking much about letting anyone know.
She had her little group.
And Xipil had his.
But the fact that he had requested the same of her had her heart skittering with some odd delight. She rubbed a paw against her face as if to try and keep her happy smile off of her maw. She was being ridiculous. They were friends and friends cared for one another. Even still, it did make her ridiculously happy. "These are hard times. I think I will be in the lands a while longer before my next trip, though. We're to make sure we travel with a guard or soldier in our group now, I think." After all, if the Nergui were to attack a small group of water-seekers, they probably wouldn't find much of a challenge. Yes, all Firekin were taught the basics of the craft of war but she would barely pose a threat to a monstrous battle lion. "But I will let you know." She smiled again, peering up at him shyly.
"Well, um...good luck with your sister, Xipil. I know that whatever you decide to do, it will be for the best." She stood and backed off a few steps, stumbling awkwardly as she did so.
And if he did leave then she would be hear waiting for when he got back. Of that she was sure. Xipil was right. He was strong and he was capable. She could not imagine any lion managing to get the better of him. "I'll...leave you in peace now." She smiled a little at him. "Take care...Xipil." And, with that she turned slowly and made off across the dunes, wondering whether she had just given up the perfect chance to tell him how she had felt.
But it didn't matter. He was coming back.
There would be another chance...someday.
/fin
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