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 Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:19 pm
My boyfriend and I of a little over a year and a half recently got back together (we were split up for about two weeks). He was hesitant to go back with me, because he has feelings for another girl.
A few days ago, I guess, the girls' friend's dad died. I guess she's really upset about it. So he's really concerned about her and it really gets him down. I can respect that. It makes me jealous, though. It really does. I try not to let it get in the way of things, and I think I do a pretty good job of that.
What upsets me, though, is that when I was feeling down and depressed (I mean REALLY depressed. I won't go into details here, but it definitely wasn't pretty) he didn't offer to call me. He wasn't miserable because of it. He didn't appear to be, anyway. He wasn't really anything. He did talk to me, but it wasn't like he talks to her. He calls her, too. "It's important". It's so important he has to leave our conversation and just ditch me? I guess it wasn't important when it was me?
I've been trying not to let it get to me, but it gets harder everytime, it seems. Is this just me being stupid, or what?
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:24 pm
 I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:28 pm
Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:30 pm
I agree with Zekil... it's not you being stupid. You are half of the relationship, so your feelings matter. Judging from what you said in your post, this doesn't sound like one of those problems that will magically go away on its own. It might be difficult to gather the courage, but you should definitely have a civilized conversation with him.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:32 pm
Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified. Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:33 pm
Stars Flying I agree with Zekil... it's not you being stupid. You are half of the relationship, so your feelings matter. Judging from what you said in your post, this doesn't sound like one of those problems that will magically go away on its own. It might be difficult to gather the courage, but you should definitely have a civilized conversation with him. Welllll. I don't really know how to do that. I don't want him I get mad. And I've mentioned it before, that I get jealous. He just says sorry and that's it. Maybe he doesn't realize it WHILE he's doing it but... I dunno. Its hard to work on a relationship when the other person like someone else. emotion_8c
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:38 pm
Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified. Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:44 pm
Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified. Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different. Well, your feelings are correct: this IS different. This is about your relationship that you cherish and by his words alone, sounds like he cherishes, too...but actions speak louder than words, which is the disturbing part. You have to speak to him about all of this. It's not fun when your significant other has another in the picture. I know how you feel about this.
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:56 pm
Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified. Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different. Well, your feelings are correct: this IS different. This is about your relationship that you cherish and by his words alone, sounds like he cherishes, too...but actions speak louder than words, which is the disturbing part. You have to speak to him about all of this. It's not fun when your significant other has another in the picture. I know how you feel about this. Thank you. <3 And well, I don't want him I get mad over it. I know that sounds totally immature, but I can picture him getting mad over this. And it's not because I'm not calm or anything; I'm always nothing but calm, civil, patient, gentle with him. I'm very understanding. I'm not sure why he'd get mad, but I can picture it. Or just saying sorry and that's it. I'd talk to him right now, but he's STILL on the phone. Right before I'm going to bed, too. Which means we can't say goodnight. It also kind of bugs me that it's like, a friend of a friend. I've never been in this situation, but it just irks me that theyre like this. From the looks of it, she's mor upset than the actual friend! I don't even know this girl. It frustrates me. I wish I could be okay with it...
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:00 pm
Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt I don't think you're being stupid here. This is something you might want to talk to him. Voice your concerns and why it's important to you and how you feel about it. Just don't let it escalate to a full-blown yelling contest, though. That won't end well. Well, I have a little bit. I've mentioned to him that it makes me jealous. I guess, in his mind, though, its justified because he likes her, too. I wouldn't be all that jealous if he didn't like her. We broke up because of his feelings for her. I was crushed, and I dont want to go trough that again. I'm jumping ahead of myself here, though. I just wanted an outside opinion on whether my jealousy was justified. Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different. Well, your feelings are correct: this IS different. This is about your relationship that you cherish and by his words alone, sounds like he cherishes, too...but actions speak louder than words, which is the disturbing part. You have to speak to him about all of this. It's not fun when your significant other has another in the picture. I know how you feel about this. Thank you. <3 And well, I don't want him I get mad over it. I know that sounds totally immature, but I can picture him getting mad over this. And it's not because I'm not calm or anything; I'm always nothing but calm, civil, patient, gentle with him. I'm very understanding. I'm not sure why he'd get mad, but I can picture it. Or just saying sorry and that's it. I'd talk to him right now, but he's STILL on the phone. Right before I'm going to bed, too. Which means we can't say goodnight. It also kind of bugs me that it's like, a friend of a friend. I've never been in this situation, but it just irks me that theyre like this. From the looks of it, she's mor upset than the actual friend! I don't even know this girl. It frustrates me. I wish I could be okay with it... To be honest, if he gets mad about this, then he's got problems and it's best to leave him; he ain't worth it if he flips out on something HE'S causing. That's just plain ignorance on his part. If he can't talk to you right now, I suggest you corner him from nowhere. Make him drop his guard, and make him talk after voicing your concerns. It may or may not be your style, but sometimes this is the best way to get something done. Why could you be okay with it? If I were in your shoes, I'd be causing hell right now. I know I wouldn't be okay with it and most girls won't. For those that are okay with it, they just break up with the guy.
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 1:02 pm
Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different. Well, your feelings are correct: this IS different. This is about your relationship that you cherish and by his words alone, sounds like he cherishes, too...but actions speak louder than words, which is the disturbing part. You have to speak to him about all of this. It's not fun when your significant other has another in the picture. I know how you feel about this. Thank you. <3 And well, I don't want him I get mad over it. I know that sounds totally immature, but I can picture him getting mad over this. And it's not because I'm not calm or anything; I'm always nothing but calm, civil, patient, gentle with him. I'm very understanding. I'm not sure why he'd get mad, but I can picture it. Or just saying sorry and that's it. I'd talk to him right now, but he's STILL on the phone. Right before I'm going to bed, too. Which means we can't say goodnight. It also kind of bugs me that it's like, a friend of a friend. I've never been in this situation, but it just irks me that theyre like this. From the looks of it, she's mor upset than the actual friend! I don't even know this girl. It frustrates me. I wish I could be okay with it... To be honest, if he gets mad about this, then he's got problems and it's best to leave him; he ain't worth it if he flips out on something HE'S causing. That's just plain ignorance on his part. If he can't talk to you right now, I suggest you corner him from nowhere. Make him drop his guard, and make him talk after voicing your concerns. It may or may not be your style, but sometimes this is the best way to get something done. Why could you be okay with it? If I were in your shoes, I'd be causing hell right now. I know I wouldn't be okay with it and most girls won't. For those that are okay with it, they just break up with the guy. I took your advice, and I talked to him. I was pretty nervous, but I just did it. He totally wasn't mad and he apologized right off the bat. He assured me that he isn't going to leave me, and made me feel better about things. I'm not sure what will happen going forward from now, but at least we talked about it and got it out in the open. Thank you! <3
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:36 pm
Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Giraffes Herp Derp Zekil Blakhardt Based on my knowledge on what you told me, you and the guy are together (to this very moment). Yes, you have the right to be jealous since he's with you, and he's got his sights on someone else? That's a problem right there. Now, since the girl's having a rough time right now, and he wants to be there for her, I don't think you can stop him. However, he has to make sure that YOU are still part of his concerns if he wants to be with you. I knew going in that he has feelings for her, so I feel partly responsible for my feelings. He always says he thinks we're meant to be together, he's just not sure if he wants that, But he loves me and cares for me and wants to be with me, he says. Which confuses the hell out of me. Ultimately, it comes down to me being scared im going to lose him. If I knew that he wasn't going to leave me, I'd be perfectly fine. But I can't ever truly know that and it worries me in cases like this... I don't want to soundlike the girlfriend that never lets him have friends, though... Then again, I feel like this is different. Well, your feelings are correct: this IS different. This is about your relationship that you cherish and by his words alone, sounds like he cherishes, too...but actions speak louder than words, which is the disturbing part. You have to speak to him about all of this. It's not fun when your significant other has another in the picture. I know how you feel about this. Thank you. <3 And well, I don't want him I get mad over it. I know that sounds totally immature, but I can picture him getting mad over this. And it's not because I'm not calm or anything; I'm always nothing but calm, civil, patient, gentle with him. I'm very understanding. I'm not sure why he'd get mad, but I can picture it. Or just saying sorry and that's it. I'd talk to him right now, but he's STILL on the phone. Right before I'm going to bed, too. Which means we can't say goodnight. It also kind of bugs me that it's like, a friend of a friend. I've never been in this situation, but it just irks me that theyre like this. From the looks of it, she's mor upset than the actual friend! I don't even know this girl. It frustrates me. I wish I could be okay with it... To be honest, if he gets mad about this, then he's got problems and it's best to leave him; he ain't worth it if he flips out on something HE'S causing. That's just plain ignorance on his part. If he can't talk to you right now, I suggest you corner him from nowhere. Make him drop his guard, and make him talk after voicing your concerns. It may or may not be your style, but sometimes this is the best way to get something done. Why could you be okay with it? If I were in your shoes, I'd be causing hell right now. I know I wouldn't be okay with it and most girls won't. For those that are okay with it, they just break up with the guy. I took your advice, and I talked to him. I was pretty nervous, but I just did it. He totally wasn't mad and he apologized right off the bat. He assured me that he isn't going to leave me, and made me feel better about things. I'm not sure what will happen going forward from now, but at least we talked about it and got it out in the open. Thank you! <3 
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Posted: Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:47 pm
Giraffes Herp Derp My boyfriend and I of a little over a year and a half recently got back together (we were split up for about two weeks). He was hesitant to go back with me, because he has feelings for another girl. A few days ago, I guess, the girls' friend's dad died. I guess she's really upset about it. So he's really concerned about her and it really gets him down. I can respect that. It makes me jealous, though. It really does. I try not to let it get in the way of things, and I think I do a pretty good job of that. What upsets me, though, is that when I was feeling down and depressed (I mean REALLY depressed. I won't go into details here, but it definitely wasn't pretty) he didn't offer to call me. He wasn't miserable because of it. He didn't appear to be, anyway. He wasn't really anything. He did talk to me, but it wasn't like he talks to her. He calls her, too. "It's important". It's so important he has to leave our conversation and just ditch me? I guess it wasn't important when it was me? I've been trying not to let it get to me, but it gets harder everytime, it seems. Is this just me being stupid, or what? Dump him, he's only with you because he knows he can be. You're the rebound to your own failed first relationship with him.
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