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 Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 1:58 am
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AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM
Name: Arnyek Neas
Nicknames: Her family call her Skugga; "Black Riding Hood"
Gender: Female [Genderless when born]
Age: 15
Faction: Monster
Race: Shadow Void [Make up race, please check third post]
Natural Ability:
Admix: Since shadow is shapeless, Arnyek is able to blend-in with others’ shadow. Maybe Arnyek is hiding in your shadow now, who knows?
Personality:
✖ Stay away from me, boils! >///<;
Well, Arnyek is very very very shy to males. Whenever Arnyek meets a boy, her face will start to turn red and tends to find places to hide. She can talk to boils, but will panic and being awkward. If a boy get too close to her, she may blend into his shadow or shadow of nearly objects without notice. However, she can't hide her blush, so if you look carefully, you may notice a blushing shadow somewhere XD
✖ Friendly
Even though Arnyek is unforgiving, she has a high tolerance for friends. Arnyek loves to have friends, she hates to be leave alone. If her friend is in bad mood, Arnyek will try her best to cheer that person up!
Arnyek is a cat lover, FOR MANY REASONS. For example, their cuteness, fluffiness and so on. If you have an opportunity to sneak into Arnyek’s room, you will have the experience of surrounding by many cats. Don’t worry, they are only cat-related stuff that Arnyek likes to collect. Skugga will try all means to get minipets that she thinks like cats.....OH! Don’t be surprised if you see an owl or deer in her room, she sees some cat features in them = =;
She will ask you “Don’t you think its INSERT PART HERE looks like that of cats?”. WARNING! Be careful, don’t show your cat traits in front of Skugga if you don’t want a stalker!
For their race, they have unexplainable love towards animals, especially the weak one. So around Arnyek, you may find some little shadow beings as her companions. They are weak beings that created from the resentment of weak animals in human world, but they aren’t strong enough to become a race. Before entering the school, they are the good companions for Arnyek. They are just like little pets, but in a creepy manner.
✖ Secret lover
Arnyek, having the ability to hide in others’ shadows, love secrets.
She thinks knowing others' secrets = can get closer to others. Arnyek will lurk quietly in your shadow and follow you if she is interested in you. Don't worry, Skugga keeps secrets well. Just she wanna know more about you. Maybe she wanna know what to give you on your B-day is the most prefect thing, maybe she wants to know the secret of your success, maybe she wants to know whether you have a lover or not.......she just has many reasons to stalk you for secrets.
✖ Hatred-nourishing
Never! Never get Arnyek angry! She bears all the grudges, she won’t show her anger easily. Yet, Arnyek will remember that deeply in heart and wait for the revenge time to come.......
Bad treatment for your pets, rudeness or hurting her friends will give you big troubles. The most unforgivable act for Arnyek is leave her alone in a bright place! You don’t want to know what is the consequences, I ensure! You don’t know what a shadow is capable of.....
Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy?
Arnyek’s Uchitels (aka parents) recommended this school to her. Instead of teaching things to Arnyek by themselves, they though school can teach more than that. In addition, they feel that Arnyek needs to know more about the human world as well as make friends. She can’t be always with them. Arnyek knows they are doing so for her own good and is curious about other species, she decided to enter this well-known school in Halloween Town. More important, there is rumor about her "brother" is in the academy too, so her uchitels asked her to find him.
FEAR Ability:
Slient Whisper - A smoke-like aura appears to surround you, creating a fearful atmosphere that will weaken your attack power or even make it nothing. The disadv is it doesn't last long, the duration of the aura gained longer and stronger when she progresses.
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:00 am
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Physical Description:
✖ References✖
Design and color of clothing and clip is up to artist, my design and color sense sucks.........
Eye Colour:
Vivid red, with black scelera,
smoky eyeshadow at corner
Hair Colour/Style:
✖ Greyish color; irregular & slanting bangs;
curl freely for the top layer with some tips as if about to vanish ✖ Two long tufts of hairs at the front [with some clips on them]
✖ One long tuft at the back, a bit longer than the hip. Please see reference.
Skin Colour:
✖ White with purplish-blue & grey mix undertones
Clothing Style/Colours:
✖ A cloak with hood, kind of ragged feeling with negative spaces to indicate it's not normal cloth, but part of herself.
✖ {OPTIONAL} Occasionally, Arynek wears a very long scarf around the neck, with length similar to or even longer than [THIS], she uses the scarf to hide her embarrassment.
✖ Elegant gothic lolita stlye, Black, grey or browish, but not so cute. Gothic blouse with some ruffles.
✖ Skirt or One-piece with irregular bottom edges, with many folds or even some fringes for decor.
✖ Long stockings in dark color and boots (can be long or short) to cover her legs.
✖ {OPTIONAL} Sometimes, she wears a short robe-like short jacket, to cover her arms which is something with ragged threads on her shoulder.
Extra: Her pick of clothing is usually in dull blue, dark greyish or browish tone.
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:04 am
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About Shadow Void
✖ Beginning
This race is born from human’s combined fears of darkness and invisible stalker. When human is alone, they will generate a fear of darkness, they will suspicion that there may be evil creatures hiding in the darkness, waiting to attack them. This fear creates the existence of the shadow beings in Halloween Town.
More specific, some human will fear of invisible stalker, namely the celebrities. This kind of terror which root deeply in their heart lead to the birth of the shadow being also.
As a result, this race is by birth an excellent spy, stalker, lurker or whatever.
✖ Uchitel
Whenever there is light, there is shadow, the fear of shadow is continuous in human world. Because of that, before Arnyek, there are already “shadows” existed in Halloween Town. To lead the new comers, whenever there is a new member, two experience shadows will find it and be its guide. They will guide the tyro what they should do, we call them “Uchitel”.
More importantly, as shadow is born without shape, they are just a dark creature without look at first, thinking of a living coal? However, if all members in the race are all black, they won’t distinguish each other easily, at least other races can’t. Therefore, the tyro will inherit the human look of his/ her two uchitels, creating his/ her own look from theirs.
✖ Companion
Being a dark creature, this race will attract other weak shadow beings, depends on their ability to manipulate darkness. So you will usually see some shadow beings next to this race, as companion, pets, servants or whatever.
Although they have a form in Halloween Town, they are too weak to retain their body, if they can't find a host which supply energy to them, they will just dissipate.........
Arnyek found these little things cute and becomes their host. Most of the time, they will merge with her cape for energy-saving. If they need to come out, there will be a "link" between them and the cape.
Reference: Your Left
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:07 am
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Miscellelous
>> Choosing gender?
Well, when Arnyek is required to choose her gender, she does not get a clue on what to choose with. She's like a blank paper at that time. So why she finally choose to be a ghoul? Well, her uchitels want a "daughter" instead of a "son", so she chooses to stay with female figure.
>> Brother?
Before she entered the academy, she saw someone who looks like her on street. However, the next moment, the boy disappeared. She told her uchitels this, and found out that they had a "son" before she come but one day, he disappeared.........
With the hope of meeting her "brother" again, she entered the school to learn more.
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 2:21 am
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Posted: Sat Feb 25, 2012 3:12 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:47 am
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HI IT IS 4AM I SHOULD BE ASLEEP BUT I DECIDED TO CRIT WTF
Which faction is this character? Sorry, it doesn't specify on the form! I forget to put stuff like that all the time, lol.
Although, I would assume demon or ghost?
Also, in regard to them changing gender, idk if you checked with staff on that one yet? It might be ok, I'm just not sure! I mean you could also just say they were androgynous & affected the mannerisms of whatever gender was present. As for the companions... there are lots of species of shadow minipets; why not just use those? IDK if he can have minions either, I know Peipurr's ghoul has little balls of light that follow her but I don't think they operate as separate entities. Maybe drop a line in the Q&A thread.
The creature type sounds sufficiently scary!
For their personality: you might want to elaborate on Secret Lover, Hatred Nourishing, and uh, Friendly. You could probably throw cat lover and companion into friendly, I think those traits do a good job explaining how much your character likes companionship!
As for the 'opposite sex' thing, to me it kinda seems natural abilityish atm? Like, it's just a power. Maybe talk more about how despite the fact that your character is friendly, they are socially awkward, esp. in regard to the opposite sex. And maybe some reasons why? Is it a racial thing?
More info in hatred would be cool too, just, you know, general stuff. S/he holds grudges, right? But what kind of stuff sets them off? Rumors about themselves? People keeping secrets from them? Cruelty? Rudeness?
Oh, and idk if it's required but you can pick a FEAR type from the combat info page in the guild to specify what silent whisper does. I don't remember the names off the top of my head at the moment! Yours sounds like it uses the mechanics of one of the official ones so if you already looked at that forum forgive my ignorance!
Sorry if this was super incoherent, I just saw you ask for crit in main thread and thought I would try my hand at it before I go to bed. XD
Good luck questing! C : I think you're onto something really spooky!
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:51 am
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Thank you for the comment, Ravvlet <3 *hugs*
Em...I put "monster" for my character after some chats with Siddie's creator.
For the natural ability, I have asked Lizbot whether I can have a natural ability covering the shapeless and blend-in ability, and got a short reply that shadow blend-in ability is fine. I guess I will ask once again in the Q & A thread, thank you.
For companion, they are different from minipets, they will no having face actually and they can't leave the race long. I guess I will also ask the staff for that.
Thank you, I spent sometimes on the research.
OK, I will try to think more on those traits.
I think shapeless feature is quite unspoken natural ability for shadow beings?
Just like if species have wings, they can fly....?
Em....I just want to create some interesting feature for my character, I don't think it will be a racial feature.
Social awkward to opposite sex, good description! I can just use "very shy to opposite sex" to describe that. I use some of my personality on this character as I will get better control of his/ her personality later in RP.
I can explain more on that, like what is his/ her reaction when meeting an opposite sex, will that be a good idea? ^ ^
Hatred.......yep, I think more about what are his/ her taboos is a good idea, thank you heart
For the fear, I think it belongs to offensive - The Mind.
Nope, thank you so much for commenting T^T
That's my first time to create a character like that, I need more opinion!
Thank you and have a nice dream 4laugh
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 7:34 am
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Hi there!
Since this is your first time creating a character, I would say that you did pretty well! (: Here are a few things I've noticed though, and I hope that they'll help!
As Ravvlet had asked, why not make Arnyek androgynous rather than switching between a 'male' and 'female' persona? Androgynous means that they are both a girl and a boy at the same time/genderless, which works well for what you had written so far for the race of "Shadow Void" since they were born "genderless"! Besides, playing one character is hard enough without having to worry about switching between two different personalities!
Another thing I'm concerned about, is what if your character is in a class with 25 different people? Are you going to go look for everyone and count how many 'girls' and 'boys' there are? During meta events, there can be up to 50 to 100 people in a single place! What will you do then?
Also, traits such as "secret lover" - what if Arnyek, as a boy, hates a girl and managed to find out a secret that could be used as blackmail... But finds himself in a situation where there are more girls than boys? Since Arnyek will then become a girl, she is supposed to "keep secrets well". That, however, will contradict what you had written for his "boy personality", who holds a grudge and will use secrets against you.
Therefore, it's an interesting concept, but I'm afraid that the whole "I CAN CHANGE GENDERS" thing a little inconvenient and not very practical at all... I hope that you rethink it and consider leaving Arnyek "genderless" and leave the "change as she/he wants" out!
My suggestion is that you pick a "gender" Arnyek will probably prefer to be; does Arnyek prefer dressing and acting as a "girl" or a "boy"? That way, you take away the confusion... And it'll be easier to design their physical appearance too!
As for the personality of "being shy around the opposite sex", just make them shy around people of Arnyek's preferred gender? If Arnyek prefers being a boy, it could be shy around girls, and if Arnyek prefers being a girl, it could be shy around boys!
Remember, all these are suggestions though! I just want to make sure you know what you are getting into by giving Arnyek the ability to switch genders at will, rather than having you regret it when you start roleplaying.
Cat lover... Uh, as with the other trait, go with what Arnyek will do due to its preferred gender? (: As for loving cats for no reason... Well, not to say that you NEED a reason to love something, but maybe Arnyek likes how fluffy they are? How cute they look? Since Arnyek also likes "animals with cat-like features", maybe it just like their physical appearance?
I think that the natural ability is fine and does make sense, given her race! I imagine she'll be really good at hide-and-seek! xD
As for companions, uh... Could you please define it a little more? I'm confused as to what you're trying to say, because the sentence doesn't make sense to me. I want to know the meaning you are trying to convey before giving you a crit on that! <3
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Posted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:44 am
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Thanks for the detailed adivce!
I will put androgynous for Arnyek's gender.
I think you are right for the RP, it's my first time to deal with RP, it will be better to make it easier.
Since I already get the idea of Skugga, I think I will say Arnyek prefer to be a girl and shy around boys biggrin
OK, I will modify the traits a bit for what Skugga will do.
For companions, they are just little shadow with cape all over them.
I will have a reference later. All of my idea comes from that drawing.
They are attracted towards Arnyek's race as they are similar.
However, having Lizbot's answer, I think they can't talk, just something keep Arnyek not alone.
Not all members in Shadow void favour their existences, they may think they are useless and weak, but not Arnyek. |
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:18 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:06 am
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Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:20 am
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