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 Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 6:37 pm
I apologize for making so many threads here. I have a lot of spare time so i think about things too much i guess.
So basically... I have a lot of issues about things being in my mouth. This probably has to do with some abuse in the past, blah blah blah. I am also kind of paranoid about eating too much or too little, probably for the same reason. Now, i don't think i'm fat, per se, i weigh about 110lbs. and i'm 5'2", so i'm just barely at a healthy weight. Even so, i really hate eating, most of the time, and sometimes i go for a few days without eating what most people would call "enough". But, then there's other days where i'm pretty sure that i'm eating too much. And after those days i generally feel awful and extradepressed, and sometimes i feel fat though i know i'm not. Generally after those days i don't eat as much for a while. Then the cycle begins anew, and food is all i look forward to.
Pretty much all of the time i feel like i take up more space than i should. I don't care about fitting in or being accepted, but i don't like bothering others. (the only reason i can post this here is because i feel like people can just not read it if it bothers them.) I feel squishy and pudgy even though i know in my head that it's just because i'm not muscular. And somehow, being fat to me sounds almost worse than death or something, though i'm sure it's not that bad, i just really don't want to ever be that way. And it depresses me that when/if i get older my metabolism will slow... bleh.
So. Is this normal or not..? After reading through what i typed it sounds like a mild form of non-purging bulimia, but i don't really know. I'm kind of afraid of talking to my therapist about this until i'm sure it's an issue. I've had a friend who had to go to an eating disorder clinic, and from his perspective it was pretty horrible.
Sorry about this. Thanks for your time...
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 2:23 pm
We aren't medical professionals, so even if we had an idea of what's wrong with you, we can't diagnose you with anything.
If you're that worried about it, it'd probably be a really good idea to go see a doctor, and perhaps professional help of some sort too if you think it would be helpful.
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 8:36 pm
I think you should speak to your therapist about this. They will be able to help you a lot more than we can.
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