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[Q] Lassell,Page of Neptune {crits and stamp on knight} Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:25 am


Yay! Welcome! This is my quest for Trevor's Powered form, he is going to be a knight of Neptune, more information is below. It is really rough right now since this is my first time questing for a Knight. So I'm up for input suggestions and what have you ^^. This is his Journal  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:26 am


.:Trevor:.

User Image

Name: Trevor Rose

Nicknames: Trev

Age:18 20 21
Birthday: July 10

Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: A

Fav. Food: Ice cream

Hated Food: onion

School: Meadowview DCU

Hobbies: Reading,playing soccer, Track and field

Reading: Trevor Rose, likes to read in his spare time or when he has to waste time faster. He is similiar to his sister in this hobby,he likes to read books in any type of genre, just not the researching genre where you have to read atlas, encyclopedias and etc.

Playing Soccer: Trevor Rose, also enjoys playing soccer he is on the school's soccer team and is positioned as Center forward so he basically starts the game and he is a quick runner.

Track and field: Trevor is also part of the Track and field club at his school, he loves to run and he is quick in speed and can jump over the obstacles that are involved in Track and field and can run whatever distance the Track and Field club has.

Gemstone: Ruby

Virtues: Kind,outgoing, dependant

Kind:He tries to show his kindness in anyway he can and treats everyone fairly and treats them like he wants to be treated,with this virtue he practically helps his everyone he knows and likes and in most situations can reslove them with ease.

Outgoing: He is talkative and never stop when it is on topic that he loves so much. It would like take a miracle to get him to stop talking about topics that he knows so much about. For example History, he loves talking about history of objects. Since he believes that all objects have history behind them.

Dependant: He is very dependant when you give him a task to accomplish he will do his best to accomplish it. If someone asks him to do something for example help with school work or perhaps help them improve their skill he is a reliable source for that and will help them out in every way he can.

Flaws: Over-protective, overly serious, overthinker

Over-protective: Even though he may look perfect, he has one minor flaw, and that is he is over-protective of people he knows well and people he likes. One example of a situation where being over-protective back fires on him is when he knows that they are safe but his subconsious constantly informs him that they aren't even though they are. Another example of a situation where being over protective is bad is when he knows for a fact that there is no danger or that they are with people who arent going to hurt the person.

Serious: In certain situations he tends to be overly serious about some topics. So if a person is in a situation that doesn't seem too serious to him he will think otherwise. It mostly depends on the situation that he is in. One example of a situation where being too serious is a bad thing is when you invite him to a casual gathering or any type of gathering where you are suppose to have fun and enjoy yourself.

Overthinker: Is another one of his many flaws, not everyone is considered normal in any circumstances. For example if a person asks him to think of a solution that will help them reslove their situation he will overthink the topic and miss either the small details or miss the simple answer to the problem.


Physical Description:

Hair: His hair is black is slightly spiked up in the front

Eyes:round and brown

Face: Round, full and Fairly smooth. His expression is well..cheerful and smiling.

Body: Has a decent Athletic build

Fashion: He is normally wearing his school uniform, that has a white shortsleeve tshirt with thin black lines on the bottom of the sleeves and wears navy runners. When he's on the soccer field..its his soccer uniform.  

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:27 am


Knight Title: Lassell ,Page of Neptune

Challenge: " I shall show you a melody unheard!”
Back up: "My courteus voice shall dance through your head!"

Uniform: This will mostly be up to the colorist

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.
Main color: The first from the swatch
Secondary color:: the second from the swatch
Tertiary Color (Accents and stuff): the third from the swatch

Weapon -- Page: He will start off with this harp with the planetary symbol of Neptune and without the intricate design or the curls at the top.

Weapon -- Squire: When he reaches squire, he will have a small lap harp with the symbol for Neptune

Magic: While strumming a tune, he can heal his allies for 20 secs per battle. If he manages to complete it without being interrupted or stopped, all the smaller wounds of allies in a 10 feet radius heals entirely. Applies only to scrapes, bruises and smaller cuts and the tune HAS to be completed for it to work.

Weapon -- Knight: when he reaches Knight stage he will have a golden harp that looks like this

Magic: Lassell strums a tune , while strumming he can heal his allies for 30 secs per battle. If he manages to complete it without being interrupted or stopped,all the smaller wounds of allies in a 10 feet radius. Medium sized wounds (larger scrapes, bruises and moderate cuts) now have accelerated healing - a medium cut might not heal entirely, but instead get fresh scabbing, a sprained ankle would not be as good as new but instead be several days closer to full recovery than it was before.  
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:46 am



StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:54 pm


Hrm...what else to add
PostPosted: Wed Jul 18, 2012 10:18 am


heart

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

Ephebe

PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:21 pm


Angelics-Destiny


Hey! Just a quick crit for Lassell. <33 There's not much to add, pretty much everything looks gold as sunshine. c: In fact there's only two things I'd like to remark upon;

First off, you'll need to find a more simple weapon for him at page stage - the harp you've chosen right now is a bit too fancy. Perhaps go for a more battered, older look - perhaps a few of the strings have been ruined, the wood has spots on it, etc? Or maybe the harp is just less elaborate, more simplistic, the very basics of a harp. You could also choose a simple kind of item that'd evolve into a harp in his squire stage, it's up to you!

Another thing, before you can get stamped, is that you need to add what his magic does, for both squire and knight stage. You can always check out the knight thread for a look at how the magic for knights work!

I think that's everything. <33
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:23 pm


okie -goes to fix-

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 12:30 pm


-thinks on his magics-  
PostPosted: Tue Aug 28, 2012 2:52 pm


Ephebe


yay!! done

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

Ephebe

PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 8:28 am


Alright, you're so close now I think! There's only one thing, and that's the sentence: 'Applies only to larger wounds which include medium,non-fatal, and sprained extremities' in the second magic. Right now it doesn't make much sense because it sounds like it's the extremities that are medium and non-fatal! I think maybe you meant 'medium, non-fatal cuts and sprained extremities' if I remember correctly from our conversation? It's only a minor thing, so don't worry! Just get clarified what 'medium, non-fatal' applies to and I think you should be good to go! If you could quote me again when you've got it done, that would be fantastic and I'll come take a look right away. <3

Angelics-Destiny
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:10 am


Yup, just forgot

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100

StarshineAngel01

Interstellar Moonwalker

15,915 Points
  • Stellar Lieutenant 200
  • Blazing Power of Friendship Wave 200
  • Spirit of the Smackdown! 100
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:14 am


Ephebe


Better?
PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:14 am


Definitely! I think everything looks fantastic now. <33 So here we go!

User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Ephebe


Indubitably

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 10:55 am


Howdy! You are well on your way to being stamped. There are a few things I would like to see addressed:
-How long does it take him to complete his song? This is important to establish how easily his magic can be interrupted.
-What, exactly, does 'heal quickly' mean? What is it relative to? Do you mean that the small wounds heal entirely, or is the process simply accelerated?
-We're talking radius, not diameter, so for squire, I'd like to see it drop to his immediate vicinity, perhaps a maximum of 10 feet surrounding him. Healing is a very useful, powerful ability to possess.
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