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It had been a few days now, and the pain wasn't going away. This was madness! Candace was usually the one who dumped a guy, not the other way around! This wasn't how it worked! Candace was going to sleep with H, enjoy a day with him and then go to the man she loved, tell him how much she loved him and mean every ******** word, and then she would ween herself off her need for H's touch and grow content with just..talking to him without craving it. She had it all worked out. She had plans. She..she ******** up.

She ******** up bad.

Jerry never answered to her letter which didn't surprise her at all but..but she still...she needed to see him. Seeing how he had run away from the mission debriefing with Aria had broken her heart all over again. He couldn't even stand to be in a room with her, that was how much he hated her. "Damnit." Candace whimpered, leaning forward and accidentally smacking her forehead against the door a little harder than she intended. It was closer than she thought! Haha. Oops. She hissed and stepped back, rubbing at her forehead and looking around. Damnit.

Did anyone know? If anyone did know how many people knew? Did..did the wrong people know? Who had he talked to? Jerry was strange in that he tried to hide his problems but when prompted he was pretty easy to get information out of. Goddamnit.

That wasn't fair. She couldn't bring herself to vent at H, and she wasn't close enough to anyone else the way she was close to Jerry. Or..or Harrison. Harrison had saved her a** so many times..would he let her vent at him? Would he get mad at her for what she did?

Candace frowned and turned away from Jerry's door to step across the hall to the door directly across from her ex-boyfriend's, knocking on it a few times. "Harrison?" She called in a quiet voice. "May I come in?"

Candace was expecting one of two results, either he would be angry at her or he would be his usual self. He was his usual self. That meant he didn't know...right?

Candace hoped that meant he didn't know.

"Um..I..." She cleared her throat and rubbed a the back of her neck as she opened the door and let herself in, closing it behind her. "I could use someone to talk to right now is all~?" Candace said gently, a weak smile on her face. "I...I ******** up badly this time a-and..haha I uh I've never..done THIS before..."

"Not yet, no. I'll stand.." Candace chuckled, ruffling her hair as she began to just pace around the room. It was harder being across the hall from him knowing she wasn't welcome in the room that she spent so many nights in.

"I..." Candace groaned and rubbed at her face. What should she do? Just flat out tell him? "I..I uh...Jerry broke up with me..." She frowned. That didn't explain how she ******** up. "He found out I was, err, sleeping with H..." For the past two months but hey, details. She was still pacing anxiously around the room, unable to get herself to stand in one place for too long.

"He's not so scary when he likes you." Candace sighed with a little smile, looking up at the ceiling a moment. She adored H, she admired him, and after her own leader he was her favorite of the three she knew. But she loved Jerry! He was kind, thoughtful, sweet..he was the first man to say he loved her and it made her...happy. Though when Harrison said she was out of Jerry's league anyway she laughed and sat down on the edge of his bed, shaking her head. "He makes me happy. When he says he loves me I just...get butterflies, and I can't help but..I could hear him say it all day." She couldn't help but smile a sad but fond smile, rubbing her temples.

Was it serious? Harrison sounded shocked by that. She was doing something wrong if even her best friend couldn't tell how serious her relationship had become. Or..well...she thought it was getting serious. Had she been overexaggerting her own relationship? Even Before had stated he had had no idea she and Jerry were even 'an item'. "It..it was getting there. I was finally ready to admit I love him without having a panic ******** I can still say it even now." Candace flopped back on the bed and groaned. "The only reason I even slept with H was because he was so bad in bed and he avoided us having sex at like...every goddamn opportunity! I didn't think he wanted me and...and H was just so..!" She still would eagerly have sex with H if given the opportunity, she didn't have any doubts about that! But she wanted Jerry more...he had been getting slightly better she could tell! What had even brought that on? "Why the ******** was he even going to he doctor's suite then?! Why the doctor.." She whined and pressed her hands to her face, closing her eyes. "I can't believe I just became my mother. That's what bothers me most about this whole ******** thing." Aside from Jerry dumping her like a rock in a lake, of course.

"Try not to get used to it. I don't do the sappy thing very often." Candace mumbled, getting comfortable on Harrison's bed by turning to curl up on her side and nuzzle her cheek into a pillow. She thought mushy, sappy couples were annoying and obnoxious. We get it, you love each other! The whole ******** world doesn't need to watch you go on and on and on and on about it..! But...but she kind of wanted to try it. There were times where the temptation to become one of those couples was just so strong.

The question was at first met with silence as Candace just stated ahead of her and considered her options. She had sent Jerry a letter he probably didn't even read before just tearing it up and probably even feeding it to Roar. She had told him she'd wait for him to make the next move but..she wasn't sure she wanted to wait. It was hard. "...I..I don't know." She admitted quietly, frowning. "I want him back. Or if he won't take me back I...I want closure? I guess. I just don't want him to hate me, Harrison. He can't even stand to be in the same room as me without running away in a panic. It hurts that I can't hug him and call him my Jerrbear, and sit beside him holding his hand." It actually ******** hurt. Was this how the boys who had tried to pursue her only to face harsh rejection went through?

"What do you think I should do?" It wasn't often Candace admitted to not knowing how to handle something. She hated this. She hated feeling this way. It pissed her off.

She couldn't blame him, honestly. "I think I'd be more upset if he forgave me for it without making me work for it..." She had become her mother, she would hate for Jerry to be like her father. That would be worse for her than him hating her.

At the implication that Jerry had been cheating on her as well she laughed outright. "Jerry? Cheat on me? Harrison, honey, I know the look of a man who has been faithful...Jerry wasn't doing that. Robert and Jordan have both kissed him and both times he didn't react well. No, Jerry isn't that kind of man. He's loving, thoughtful and..and faithful. He was always reminding me how I was his first girlfriend and...goddamnit how could I let myself do something so stupid?!" She pulled a pillow up over her head and whined into it. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! "...oh god do you think he's told anyone?" Candace suddenly sat up, staring at Harrison with a terrified look on her face. "You have to find it if he's told anyone oh god please Harrison if the wrong people find out I'm so ********!" She needed people to trust her! How could they trust her if they thought she was just some backstabbing whore...with actual proof of it?!

Don't question her logic, Harrison. Just don't. Especially given the dirty look she shot him as he said it.

"Don't tell anyone about the Jordan thing. Not even Jordan. I shouldn't have even said it. And stop questioning me, Harrison. I know what a faithful, loving man looks like when faced with a cheating whore very well." She grumbled unhappily, sighing as he pat her on the back and tugging at his sleeve with a whine. It was her subtle way of saying get the ******** over here and snuggle with me I ******** need it.

At his assurance she actually smiled. "Thanks~. But..I could still use your help with possible damage control?"

"He was pretty embarrassed, so I try not to spread it around for his sake." Candace sighed, tugging on Harrison's sleeve again with a whine. Get over heeeeeere! But she did catch his smugness and couldn't help but grin up at Harrison. "I bet Jordan wasn't embarrassed about kissing you, though." As he shouldn't have been! Harrison was the best! Any guy would be lucky to have her Harrison.

When asked what she needed him to do Candace rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling, still holding Harrison's sleeve much like a child with a security blanket now. "Jerry likes you..." She began quietly, frowning. She hoped he still liked Harrison. "Could you talk to him? Find out if he's told anyone? Who he's told? What he's said? H..how he's...feeling? I mean, that part is pretty obvious but ********> Candace whined and rolled over so her back was to Harrison, hiding her face. She shouldn't have ever let this happen. Son of a b***h!