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 Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 12:35 pm
 Sophia was laying on her side, still resting from the night before. Her new babies were laying next to her as she licked them as the rested peacefully. Fubar was off burring the female that never woke up. Sophia hadn't spoken since that moment, it was a horrible memory that she had hoped to never relive, especially with her own children. But her boys were beautiful, one pink and gray, the other blue and gray. Eros, who already seemed so talkative, and Zeal, who seemed more quiet and reserved like his father, almost untrusting on this new world.
Shifting her position she curled herself around her two boys, ask if to protect them from anything bad that could happen to them. She knew Fubar was shaken even more than her, it scared her that he may up and leave them all alone. Maybe after that he didn't want the pups anymore. Sophia wasn't even sure how it happened, just one night they were talking about having a family, and now here were two boys that would call her mama. It was a hard thing, part of her wanted to be so happy, while the other was so sad because the little blue and pink girl would never awake to this life. Zeal was resting happily, he had awoken into a beautiful world full of color and smiling. He had seen a pair of happy gray eyes, looking down at him. That was his mama, he knew that right away. The way she curled around him happily, she couldn't be anything else. Then he saw his father, a bright blue wolf, who was so large over him, he looked happy, but in a different way than his mama.
He saw two other little ones like him, one was a boy and bright pink, the other was pink and blue. But that one didn't move around or make any noise, he wondered what was wrong with her. But his dad moved in quickly to remove her from his mommies sight. She started to cry softly and he tried to move to lick her muzzle. But he was so weak, Zeal could barely move. But he knew something sad had just happened.
There was no time to dwell on that, sleep came quickly with his brother. The last thing he heard was his mother giving them names, he was Zeal, and his brother Eros. Then darkness. . .
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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:53 am
 Fubar spent a long, long time outside. Burying the pup shouldn't have taken so long, really, but he spent a long time in deciding where the grave should be. He didn't really know why he cared so much about where they buried her. They were, after all, on the move...wandering for some supposed promised land. Fubar may never return to this spot. He might never see her grave ever again. So why did it matter where the grave was? Why did it matter so much that he dug a half-dozen holes before filling them in,empty, and moving to another location?
Because burying her would be saying farewell, perhaps. Because he wanted to curl up within his grief and allow it to consume him for awhile, to allow himself this opportunity to feel sorry for himself. There was no wolf in the world who was going to tell him that the real, pure grief he felt wasn't justified. No one would dare to say he was overreacting.
And if anyone even thought of telling him to get over it, he would personally make sure that they had to be buried next.
When he finally settled on a spot, Fubar deliberated over burying the girlpup. He didn't cry. He stared at the ground between his paws and felt some gaping chasm open inside of him, an emptiness where emptiness had already been.
Then he buried her, and sat for a long time staring a t the dirt, hearing nothing, thinking nothing, feeling nothing.
After all that...the one time of his life when he was truly, fully justified his misery...Fubar could feel nothing at all.  Eros snuggled in-between his mother and his brother, relishing the warmth. He stretched out until as much of his body as possible was touching each of them. He felt his brother dozing beside him, but he wasn't sleepy yet. He buried his nose in his mother's side, searching, but he wasn't hungry either.
Or, maybe he was hungry. But he was hungry for something other than food and warmth, which he had in abundance. He was hungry for his mother's attention. He wished she'd stop looking so sad. He wanted her to lick him some more, to nuzzle her nose against him. Why wasn't she paying more attention to him?
He was not as acutely aware of his sister's disappearance as his brother was. Oh, he would discover it later on, and then he would obsess over his father's misery...but at the exact moment, he just wanted to be loved.
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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 5:29 am
Sophia looked down at the little pink pup and smiled slightly. "Eros, you are not tired?" She asked and picked him up by the scruff of his neck and placed him between her paws. Nuzzling his belly she forgot for a moment the sadness that crossed her family. She had to be happy for something right? And her two baby boys were that reason. But she hope that any moment Fubar would come back to her, that he hadn't left with the others already while she lay in this makeshift den.
Looking back at Eros she licked his tiny face clean and rested her head by him as she closed her eyes holding him close to her and wrapping her tail about Zeal as he slept peacefully. "Eros, you make mommie so happy."
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 2:56 am
A happy whimper escaped him as she lifted him, and he snuggled up against her, relishing the attention. His tail thumped and he craned his neck, reaching up to lick her nose.
 Aislin was huge, belly swollen with what seemed to be a large litter of pups. Traveling had come to a stand-still as the two mothers-to-be had approached the end of their term, and Aislin was expecting any day now. It seemed that Sophia had been first, though, and the yellow-furred female was concerned that she had gotten no updates from Fubar.
If anything, she had expected to hear the blue wolf bragging -- or complaining -- immediately. That there had been no word, she was afraid that perhaps something had gone wrong.
So she waddled her way to Sophia's den, peeking her head in, and quickly taking stock: two boy puppies, no father. . "Am I interrupting?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:36 am
Sophia laughed and put her head down so she was nose to nose with him. He was so happy and wanted so much attention, it was nice to see that someone would always want to be around her. At least until he was grown, and wanted to have his own family.
When she heard a voice come into her den, the first instinct was to cover her pups. A tail went over Zeal and her head bent in front of Eros. But when she saw that it was Aislin she relaxed and smiled. "Course not, come in and meet your nephews." She said and licked Eros on the head and nudged Zeal with her tail. "Zeal, wake up, meet your aunt Aislin." She said and looked to her alpha.
"Should you be moving about so much? You will deliver soon." She said and made room for the other female to lay down. She glanced towards the entrance to the den again, hoping that Fubar was behind her, but he wasn't.
Zeal rolled over onto his back and stretched, a big yawn escaped his mouth as he peeked an eye open and stood up on sleepy legs. He looked at his mommy and saw that bis brother was between her front legs. Frowning he moved forward and jumped on his brother licking him happily. Wanting to be included in the fun.
But who was this other body? This was not his daddy, but his mom said that she was his aunt. He had more family than just mama, dad and brother? And this one was huge! She looked like if she ate one more thing she would explode.
The little blue pup went over to her and poked his nose against her belly, then felt a kick! He jumped back and turned his head to the side looking at the belly with interest.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:17 am
Aislin chuckled. "It was a short walk. I'll be okay. Although, just the same, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell Cue I've been out and about. He tends to worry about everything."
It warmed her heart to be called their aunt. They were sisters, after all, as far as she was concerned. Their new pack was meant to be a new family, starting over for everyone. It seemed that the dual pregnancies and oncoming puppyboom was a sign. Here were pups that could all be raised together as real brothers and sisters.
"Just the two?" She asked, smiling at the boys. They were so bright and happy and healthy looking.
Eros ducked into his mother's paws, shyly, but peered out over the wall of her leg to get a glimpse at this newcomer. She looked pretty and her fur was soft, and she had a nice voice. This was their aunt? He wasn't sure what an aunt was. But maybe it meant this was someone who would love him, too. He crawled forward, climbing over his mother's paws, to go and visit this yellow lady.
Finally, Fubar realized that he would not be able to cry. He would not be able to mourn. He was completely empty, dead inside, and he would just have to accept that. Maybe the grief would come later, when the shock wore off.
Wearily, the blue wolf turned away from the grave. He hadn't marked it. What was the point? He knew what was in there, and he would never need to find it again.
He shuffled his way back to the temporary den, distantly surprised at how far he had wandered. He half-expected some other tragedy to meet him at the door.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 12:14 pm
Sophia smiled and nodded, "Your secret is safe with me." she said and looked down at Eros and Zeal who were poking around Aislin, "Boys be careful, she is going to have puppies also." She said and sat up shaking out her fur, she was starving, and hoped that soon she could find something to eat.
A frown came across her face and she turned her gaze to the ground, "Fubar took the other one, she didn't make it." Sophia said and felt a tear run down her face. "I am worried that Fubar will not want to be with me anymore, i hope that i can at least stay with the pack. For the sake of my babies." She knew that protecting them on her own would be hard and this pack was a real chance for them to have a normal life like hers. Sophia also knew that Fubar didn't love her, not really, it was more of a safety, they were both in the same place wanting a companion. She loved him though, more than anything, but she would not tie him to her if he did not want it.
Zeal looked at his brother and crawled under the large belly, the fur as soft, and he felt a little bit of movement. What was going on in there? Then when his mom said to be careful he moved away and sat down looking at her as small bits of water started to fall down her face. What was going on, why did she look unhappy? Running back over to his mama he rubbed against her belly and tried to lick her muzzle, but could only reach her neck and chin.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:49 am
Aislin's expression clouded, and she leaned over to nudge the grey wolf's shoulder. "I am so sorry," she said, eyes soft with sympathy. She had hoped that their new lives would be entirely without tragedy, but that seemed like too much to hope for.
"We'll take care of you," she added, firmly. Maybe she would send Cue to have a word with Fubar if problems continued. A little talk between boys. "No matter what. We're family now."
Other packs might turn their backs on members who were in trouble, but Aislin knew that she and Cue would never stand for that.
Eros touched his nose to Aislin's side, and, like his brother, jumped back in surprise at his mother's words. He crept forward again, however, pressing his ear against her belly, eyes wide and confused as he tried to sort out what was happening inside of her and why her belly was squirming.
It had begun to rain, lightly, before Fubar drew away from the grave. Every step away from it was like lead being poured into his paws. He knew that once he left, he would almost certainly never be able to find this spot again.
He sighed, his heart heavy, stalking forward on trembling legs, feeling a little bit like the weight of the world was, literally, shoving him down face-first into the dirt. How was he going to deal with Sophia ever again? Would she even be able to look at him?
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:16 pm
Sophia smiled and nodded trying to clear her tears away. "Thank you so much, you are truly a sister to me." She said and looked down and Eros, who seemed to be contemplating what was inside Aislin. "She is having puppies just like you and your brother Eros, you will have more brothers and sisters." She said and smiled licking Zeal as her tried to get to her.
"I am alright darling, mommy just wishes that daddy would come home." She said and looked at Aislin knowing she must be rather tired. "Why don't you take my nest, you should rest some." She said and motioned to the new bedding she had gathered.
Zeal stayed by his mother and looked at his brother who was still poking at their auntie. He looked up and bit at his mother's fur, trying to get her attention. He wanted to go outside and play, but it was raining rather hard by now.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:45 pm
Aislin shook her head, one ear flicking back toward the den opening. "No...I should get back before Cue notices I've gone, or else he'll worry. Fubar will come around...and you let me know if he doesn't." She smiled again, encouragingly, and bent down to gently nudge the pups away from her belly.
As she slid out the den opening, she nearly ran into Fubar, who was on his way in. She glanced up at him, offering a soft smile. "I'm sorry for your loss," she said, and nudged him on her way past. "If you need anything..."
Fubar shook his head. "I'm fine," he muttered, and as she left, he wondered why he had said that. When in his life had Fubar ever turned down the opportunity for free sympathy?
Sopping wet and feeling forlorn, he crept down into the den. "Sophia?" he called, hesitant, half-afraid that everything else he cared about would have fallen apart in his absence.
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 12:53 pm
Sophia smiled as Aislin left then saw a soaking wet head poke into the den. She was so happy that he had come back that she felt herself start to cry again and went over to him stepping over her pups and nuzzled against his cheek. She just stood there with him for a long time and cried, "You came back. . . "She said softly and looked up at him. "Thank you." She said and licked his muzzle before putting her face back against his neck.
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