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 Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:52 pm
Roch had not been in his room when Taryn went looking for him, which she had pretty much expected. At his door she left him a note on a few sheets of paper and his old eyepod.
Roch-
I'm sorry, but a lot of things are going on right now, and I think it
would be best if I gave this back to you. I've lost myself in this past
year or so, and I really do need to find... well, me. You've done
an amazing job of helping me, but there's an issue. I have very
deep feelings for you, Roch, and for a while I thought that you felt
the same. We were certainly acting like it, holding hands and
things. It was very nice, but I think I misunderstood. You don't seem
to hold the same ideas, even with this strange love taking over the
school. I'm too attached, and it's not fair to you. It was silly of me
to think that you could have feelings for me, in that way. I need
to remove myself from this, to move of, if we aren't going to share
the closeness we'd had. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rejecting our
friendship. You're my best friend, and that isn't going to change,
but something about us does. Like you did with Xiu, I have to
work on un-feeling. I think I'd like Pat back too, if you still have
him.
I really am very sorry about this. I know it can't feel very good. If
you want to talk, I'm free for most of the afternoon, I just had to
get this to you as soon as I could, to clear my mind and quell
the hurt in my chest. You understand. If not, I'll see you at
Scarentine's!
-Taryn
It was probably the least-well-written note she had ever left, but it'd have to do. She nervously brushed her hair behind her ear and sighed, continuing away.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:55 pm
Roch stepped out of the booth, having been practicing for the past hour. The door had been locked, so it was no wonder she thought he wasn't there. It was only in time to see the letter on the table and the door shut. He read it twice. Roch stared at the note, trying to figure out WHAT IN THE HELL had just happened. For a moment his hand tightened on the sheet, and he felt his heart breaking just a little. "Jack dammit," he whispered, heading for his desk and digging out the book she wanted.
Then he headed out the door. "TARYN!" he bellowed. "We need to talk!"
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:09 pm
Taryn was already fairly far away, and blushed when she heard Roch calling for him. Jack damn it, she had been hoping this wouldn't be a big to-do. She jogged back to Roch and pushed her hair behind her ear.
"Yes...?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:18 pm
"I didn't--I never--" He sighed. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't like this whole... whatever it is that's going on. I don't want ANYONE'S decision or heartache based on... this thing. I--I--"
He ran a hand over his face. "I want you to be happy," he said quietly. "And I'll give you what you want." He handed over her book. "But... I--no. I screwed up in too many ways already."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:21 pm
Taryn shook her head and took the book, clutching it to her chest.
"Roch, it's fine. You don't feel the same way for me. I'll heal in time, okay? You... enjoy who ever you've chosen." Hurt was clear on her face, but what could she do? He'd walked away from her. The dream was over.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:31 pm
"I don't have someone, Taryn," Roch told her. "I'm not... I don't think now is the time to pick a ghoulfriend. Hell, I'd JUST gotten over Xiu and I started hanging out with you more and that wasn't the time, either--all I've been trying to do is NOT hurt someone and here I am hurting you," he said, looking down.
"I'm the worst sort of b*****d, you know?" he told her. "Sometimes I wonder why people don't realize that more often."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:40 pm
Again, Taryn could only shake her head. She offered Roch a smile, hoping to quell at least some of his worry. This had to be over, and it had to be over now.
"Hey, I'll see you at Scarentine's! I have an appointment this afternoon, but, um... I'll see you, Roch." She was only leaving for now. She just needed some time, against the aching in her heart and the loneliness crimping her chest. She turned and began down the hall, the only hint of her emotions being a floppy, uninterested Abigail.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 6:45 pm
He let her go. There was no other way to put it. He stood there and let her walk away, let her go on with getting over him. He'd screwed up. But...
Well, Roch knew more than anyone else that no one deserved to be stuck loving someone that didn't know if they loved them back. His feelings had flip flopped back and forth the entire time--guilt, lust, the beginnings of something that might have been love, then guilt again. No...
This really was for the best. He sighed and headed inside, swearing silently that he would stop doing s**t like this. He really jackin HATED himself right now.
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