Colin Hargrove. He was a a very lithe, sporty sort of fellow. 17 years old, and a junior. A dancer with some small, but notable industry success for his age. He might like star trek, since he seemed to have a couple faded logo t-shirts and wore them when lounging out of uniform. He was a vegetarian, though he ate eggs and dairy if the animals were "free-range". He was friendly with wagers, especially that could eat a horse's weight of eggs and greenfood. He had a younger sister named Miriam, 2 years younger, that he had defended in a fight. Colin was smart! He was in good classes and kept a 3.5 average on his marks. He was dedicated to study and doing the right thing.

He was a Sailor Scout. He didn't breath fire. He didn't wear a booty skirt.

Was that sad or happy? Probably happy. He had NO problems with boys wearing skirts, hell, Colin's backside was ample enough to look plenty exciting if so clad. They seemed one-trick pony, though, as far as excitement- good trick, but singular.

He was getting ahead of himself, though. They had kissed. Colin wanted to be boyfriends. Would they have to be secret about it, because relationships weren't allowed between roommates? He didn't know and he couldn't remember all the policies and procedures detailed in the giant student handbook. He had to pull it out and review it, no doubts, and ask Colin if he was reading it right beyond that.

Was he ready for this? Colin was a wonderful person, and kissing him had been amazing...but boyfriend? It wasn't the commitment itself that was frightening. He'd been committed to friends and causes and hobbies, to all sorts of long-range ideas. He'd had a girlfriend once, made it to four months. Felicity Hough, pretty thing with black hair and grey eyes. She'd been an upperclassman, planned to be a sports trainer and go to college in Ohio. They kissed plenty of times, he'd bought her flowers and a few other small gifts at each month anniversary. They'd usually hung out on weekends, until breaking up. She'd come to her senses that while devoted and sweet, he would never challenge her in conversation. It had been all on good terms, even if it was painful to have to go through a rejection based on his stupidity. He couldn't offer Colin any better. The matter of Colin's station compared to his own...in brains, in skill, and Colin was officially a warrior. In a war.

What if Colin got bored? No, not if, when. Smart people got bored with dumb people, no matter how much they might get along as people. As lovers...he'd talked with his mother about it after Felicity. Lovers should be on relatively equal footing if they were going to continue to challenge each other productively- to grow, in mental, physical and emotional grounding. He could support Colin, he could always be there waiting at the door with a candle in hand, and he could do his best to provide hearth and livelihood...but he could never provide challenge. He couldn't get a 3.5 in classes for average people, no matter how many hours he spent studying. He would never be able to predict Colin's emotional needs when it was important and time-sensitive if they were outside of the cliche.

It came down to whether he himself was willing to go through that heart wrenching moment when the other person realized they were too good for you. Was a handful of months, maybe even a year, worth it? That was wrong, no, it was worth it. that sort of happiness was worth a lot. But was it a price he was willing to pay? Bald-faced, hardcore confrontation with all the dirty realizations he carried around with him anyway but mostly just didn't dwell on. Having to admit to someone you loved, and agree with them, that as much as you'd given your heart...they should give it back and move on to something better.

He still wasn't certain. Maybe he never would be. Who did want to have to wave goodbye, even with a smile and gladness for what was shared, when the time came? But if the subject came up with Colin, he couldn't run away from it. They should talk about it and come to a final decision. One of those decisions that could only be decided in a moment, with the heart and not the head. His head wasn't the best part of him anyway.