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[Q] Nickeline, Corrupt Senshi of Breath

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Appeal

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:10 am


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.Name: Theodora Argyros
Greek: Θεοδώρα Ἀργυρός

Nickname: /

Age: 17

Birthday: June 20

Sign: Cancer

Gemstone: Sardonyx

Blood Type: O-

Fav. Food: Pasta (especially stuffed pasta such as Ravioli, Tortellini, Tortelloni), Loukoumades

Hated Food: Fennel, Sushi

School: St. Magdalena’s Seminary

Hobbies:

Archery - It began with a simple plastic bow and suction cup arrow that she shot her sisters with and from there it bloomed into a discipline that Theodora follows even to this day. It is possibly the only thing on the face of the planet that Theodora actually follows to a T, taking the rules and regulations of the art quite seriously. It is almost as if she's a different person when she has a bow in her hand and an arrow in the other. Her diligence and dedication to the art has rewarded her with several competition titles and quite the sharp eye.

Gardening - If there is anything green on Theodora, it is most definitely her thumb. Her interest in the activity never really had a static beginning in time because as long as she can remember she's always been surrounded by beautiful flowers. As a child she spent a lot of time at her grandparent's home and that's where she mainly experienced this joy. Her grandfather's garden was the best, and to this date, still holds the standard Theodora strives to reach.

Over the years she has tried repeatedly to make the garden at her own family home as beautiful as her grandfather's garden, but the standard she's trying to match is just too far ahead. Even with all her efforts Theodora is still young and is unable to match the life and dedication her grandfather has put into gardening, leaving him well out of her reach. Despite that, Theordora has not lost interest and has sworn to keep going until the day she can stand proudly in her grandfather's garden.

Parkour - Theodora was never exactly a model citizen, nor daughter (despite deceptions she may have led her parents to believe) and when she was introduced to the art of parkour in the spring of 2011, she knew it was going to be a perfect fit. A year into her journey with the art and she's bonded quite nicely with it. She is still far from being a master but she knows enough of the basic movements and quite a few tricks to make parkour a permanent part of her régime. Novice or not, it has proven itself quite handy even if her hair sometimes provides a challenge.

Unicorns - This dark secret has been harbouring deep inside the depths of Theodora's bedroom since she was but a wee lass. She absolutely adores little unicorn trinkets but she's dreadfully ashamed of her massive collection, keeping them stored away carefully from not only the prying eyes but also the careless fingers of strangers. On top of all of that she's the proud, although ashamed, owner of a wonderful white unicorn hoodie that she only wears inside the safety of her bedroom.

She will fight someone tooth and nail to prevent them from opening her closet and if needed, she will break a friendship sooner than she will open the closet for them. It's better off that way. If she were to open the closet up for a friend then soon she wouldn't have a friend anyway because they would quickly become buried alive under the sheer amount of unicorns that had been stuffed into the closet. If by some miracle they were to survive the critical hit from the unicorns, Theodora's shame would finish them off. The lesson here boys and girls is this: don't open the closet, monsters do exist.

Virtues:

Alert - Don't think for a moment that Theodora didn't see you walk over the flower bed from across the park, or that she couldn't possibly have heard you whisper about her hair from across the avenue. She's quite attentive and she is usually quite aware of her surroundings despite what any outward appearances suggest. She often looks like she isn't paying attention at all but if you look more closely you'll see that is more likely that she is actually paying more attention to you than you'd first think. Did you know that while you went on and on about mathematics, the third button from the bottom of your shirt has been open and Theodora can see your navel? Regardless, Theodora will interrupting the mathematics lecture to inform you of this very important matter.

Dauntless - The shadows that went bump in the night were not the horrifying monsters that her sisters made them out to be but even if they had been Theodora was ready to beat them up with a nearby broomstick or even her sister's baseball bat without a second thought. Those feelings are still true now. Theodora doesn't like to back down from a fight and if she hears a scream she runs to it instead of away from it. If the building was on fire, she would be the first one out the door and also the first (possibly only one) not to run for the exit.

Tenacious - To put it bluntly, Theodora will do anything for a just cause and she will do it no matter what it takes. As a child, Theodora compelled a Magic 8-Ball repeatedly upon questioning until it revealed the answer she sought. She would not accept anything less than the answer she wanted and this is definitely a trait she still carries now. Don't ever expect the word no to stop her, because soon enough she'll make sure that the no is a very certain yes please. She definitely won't ever turn her back on a friend and if she says she'll be there then even if she's buried under ten feet of snow, she will dig her way out and get there! A promise is a promise and it isn't something she takes lightly.

Versatile - Theodora is a firm believer that you have to take life by the horns or else you'll be trampled under it. You have to be prepared for anything and if you don't have the necessary tools or skills to do so then you need to find a way to make it work otherwise. Don't be afraid to go the distance, if you have friends then make use of them. Friends are there to help you and if they can help you solve a problem then use them to. That's what friends are for, right? She believes that any and all obstacles that stand in the way should be and will be defeated and conquered, and then repeated once again to make sure the job is truly done. It is no surprise that because of her beliefs that Theodora is more than capable of adapting to the situations as they're thrown at her, and that she is quite unwilling to settle for anything less than that. If she can't do it then she'll just have to try harder until she can.

Flaws:

Deceptive - Growing up with parents that were rather restrictive and protective of their youngest daughter, you learn some tricks. Unfortunately for morals, a good trick is hard to put down when it gives you exactly what you want out of a situation. It ultimately lead to Theodora deceiving others just for the sake of getting away with it, avoiding explanations and generally just to mess with others. It's pretty handy too! Why own up to your mistakes when you can convince someone that it never happened or you didn't do it? It's pretty easy to pin the blame on someone else when that person is already in the spotlight and if given the option of taking the blame herself or blaming them, she will go straight for blaming them for it.

Fierce - She's certainly no Crystal Academy flower and if left unattended for too long, she will crush all of the local flora in her stead. Her behaviour is often rash, and being the youngest child she has had more than enough pranks, tricks and torture to make her strong. Whether she is joking around or not, Theodora will hit you hard. There is no middle ground or safety net to protect you from her wrath. She knows she's better but she likes to have solid proof of this and her physical ability does just that. If she can crush you easily then she's that much better than you. If you can crush her, then obviously she needs to stop going so easy on you.

Supercilious - Theodora doesn't have any delusions about the equality of others but she certainly has a few delusions about where she stands in the picture. Everyone can have their equal rights but she's going to keep her place right at the top of the pile, standing tall at a place that is greater than everyone else. Trying to convince her otherwise is usually a fruitless battle because the moment you stand in her sights she's going to immediately tag you with a value and it isn't very often that a store increases the price of an item after having it in stock for some time. Instead it is much more likely that the price will decrease. As such, Theodora will most likely treat you just like she values you. Pleasant or not, you'll always be under her.

Tactless - Straight to the point and right past your comfort zone is exactly where Theodora will be found, sitting quite comfortably on your throne. It's truly debatable whether this child was ever taught manners and it shows when more often than not a topic such as talking about throwing up while eating in a restaurant will rise. In fact, she's been there, done that, been spoken to about that and then done that again. Momentary remorse seems about as much as she can muster and chances are that's just a play of deception to keep you off her back. It doesn't help that Theodora doesn't have the sense to remember her surroundings have other people in it, or maybe it is more like she doesn't care. It's her world and you're just visiting so get used to it how the game is played.
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:11 am


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.Senshi: Nickeline, Corrupt Senshi of Breath

Challenge: I'll steal your breath away.

Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Breathless

With a single whisper, the air around her opponent quickly becomes stale and then just as quickly the air around them seems to be stolen away, causing them to become unable to breathe for 20 seconds. It'll just be like holding your breath, except the opponent gets absolutely no say in the matter. Unable to take a new breath for 20 seconds, this attack induces panic on the enemy.

Battle Usage: Twice

Duration: 20 Seconds

Range: Single Target

Special Effect: Induced Panic

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Breathless Agony

With a single whisper, the air around her opponent quickly becomes stale and then just as quickly the air around them seems to be stolen away, causing them to become unable to breathe for 40 seconds. It'll just be like holding your breath, except the opponent gets absolutely no say in the matter. It induces panic and after the 20 second mark, instead of dissipating, it begins to hurt prominently in the chest area.

Battle Usage: Twice

Duration: 40 Seconds

Range: Single Target

Special Effect: Induced Panic

Eternal Sailor Attack: Deep Breath

A mere couple steps away from the opponent, she can literally suck the breath right out of her opponent as if she were going to kiss them. This attack, although possible to defend against before the attack is induced, stuns the opponent for 10 seconds while she literally sucks their breath out from them. After being released, the attack leaves the opponent breathless and leaves Nickeline feeling refreshed, giving her a miniature boost.

Battle Usage: Once

Duration: 10 Seconds

Range: Single Target (1 Meter)

Special Effect: Miniature-Boost

Appeal

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zippedsiren

Dapper Spirit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:07 pm


Hello Appeal!

YAY NEGA SENSHI! She is lovely, and seems like lots of fun!

Good hobbies, lots of back story info in gardening, which isn’t really needed, but that’s fine. I am curious as to where she gardens, if she’s likely staying in the dorms (is she?)? I’m also curious as to why she’s so secretive/ashamed of the unicorns.

Overall flaws and virtues are good! Just a couple minor things:

-Focused seems like the wrong word for the trait. Focused makes me think of someone that pursues their goals with determination and is hard to shake from that, keeps their eye on the ball, and not easily distracted. The trait is really more like observant or attentive to details.

Tenacious and Versatile threw me for a loop at first, since they are more or less a stubborn and adaptive kind of trait. However, I think in this case they do work fine together, as it seems like she is tenacious in getting what she wants or where she wants to go, but flexible in how that happens. So we’re good there.

Impetuous, Not quite sure what’s going on here. Impetuous as a word, implies hastiness and being rash when it comes to action. Like acting without thinking. But most of the trait is really about how Theodora has a temper and desire to be the best and crush her opponents. I would either rename the trait to focus on her temper or competitiveness, or rewrite the trait to reflect how Theodora would be rash with her actions, and leaping before she looks.

Powered Side!

For the first two powers, they are bit overpowered! 30 seconds is a really long time to not be able to breath (when it’s forced) and a minute is really long! I see what you’re going for, but I do think the time should be cut down for both of them. Being unable to breath for that long is likely to make whoever she is fighting unable to fight back with the panic effect. I’d maybe go for 20 seconds and then 40? You should also include how many times she can use this power.

I also think the eternal power (while I do think it is cool), is stepping away from the sphere a bit and also moving away from the kind of powers and effects you have established before. Your first two powers aren’t really offensive-damaging (which the eternal is), and more of an kind-of defensive kind-of offensive effect, whereas the eternal is causing damage to the surrounding area and seems much more pressure/high winds related than breath. So I’d suggest revising it to either be another effect like sucking/squeezing the breath out of someone (like stealing it!, but not for too long!), or taking a deep breath and breathing out and have that create an effect that’s not slicing physical damage.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:58 pm


zippedsiren

She gardens where ever she can, since she is moving to Destiny City I'd like for her to find a place either an inside garden or the park when it warms up!

All right, thanks a lot for the critique! I think I have addressed all your concerns, mostly with the eternal attack. I have made a new one that is more "breath-like."

Appeal

Magical Cat

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zippedsiren

Dapper Spirit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 11:03 pm


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 10:20 am


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cibarium

Noob

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