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 Posted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 1:23 am
She hadn't even given it conscious thought when she went to Tony's after the showdown with Benitoite. She powered down in a dark alley, so as not to be spotted and moved to knock on the door, shocked and heartsick. She'd considered the boy a friend and trusted him. She'd treated him as a mother would, trying to be supportive of what he was going through. She thought she'd seen in him a gentle heart and true compassion but as she knocked on her boyfriend's door she knew he couldn't have any of that. She'd been wrong and her heart was broken for it. Tears were already rushing down her cheeks.
She looked a sight on top of it. Her hair was mussed and she had bruises forming on her arms, chest, legs, and one on her cheek. Blood was running down her neck in rivulets from where he'd raked his claws down her skin but that, oddly, didn't hurt her nearly as much as the rip in her heart. She needed comfort from the one person she knew she could talk to and trust completely and who happened to have her heart.
"Tony..." she whimpered, needing him to hurry to open the door.
When it finally opened, she checked to make sure it wasn't Nathan before collapsing against him, sobbing nearly uncontrollably. Really, she was lucky to escape a battle with a Captain without being grievously harmed but she wasn't thinking about that. She wasn't thinking about the broken bones she avoided or the possible chance of being killed. She was too consumed in emotional pain to think of things logically or to even consider the physical aspect of the battle.
She was probably getting blood on his shirt.
She couldn't explain what was wrong for a long while but all he had to do was look at her to know she wasn't in a very good way.
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Posted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:59 am
Tony was in his living room when the doorbell went, working on posters for his missing dog. He was not the best at this sort of thing, in many respects. Not making posters, or losing dogs. He'd rather not have to do either of them, if it were up to him.
He heard the door knock and looked at the poster he was working on. It had his address for anyone who had any information about poor Dogby's location. Feeling a little hopeful, and not expecting anything else, he got up and moved to the door to open it as quickly as he could.
When he saw Kyndall he wasn't disappointed. He didn't have time to be. There was a certain shift, from expectation to worry, but it never dropped into disappointment.
"Kyndall, what...?" he saw her face, saw the blood, and ushered her inside. Clearly from her state something terrible had happened, worse than a corgi out in the snow, and he shoved every other thought, every other worry, out of his head. Holding her close, he let her cry against him for a long moment before he took her to the sofa to sit so he could tend to her injury.
"What happened?" he asked, softly this time. "Are you alright?" He had only left for a second to get a damp towel and his first aid kit.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:52 am
She explained what happened to him in bits and phrases between sobs and as he worked. She told him about her friendship with Benitoite and how she'd come to love and care for him and how she'd thought he was something more than a monster of chaos. Then she explained about how she found him tonight and the fight that ensued and how he'd marked her before teleporting away.
She tilted her chin to the side and showed him the long scratches across it, dripping blood. It was proof of her tale. She didn't feel like a hero tonight or even someone fighting for good. She felt beaten down and listless. It would be like finding herself having to fight him sometime in earnest. She didn't know what she would do if it ever came down to that and thanked God in her cold blood that she'd never have to find out.
"God, Tony, this hurts! How could I have been so wrong about him? I cared about him. I loved him!"
He could easily tend to her while she was like this so she held the pose and let him do as he would to her. She honestly didn't care at the moment but she could clearly see he was worried about her. He had every reason to be. She'd arrived looking like a mess and then bawled for the last ten minutes at least before pouring out that she'd fought a Negaverse agent stronger than herself by herself and got this hurt. She shuddered to remember it, looking down at the floor. When she spoke again she was bitter.
"You didn't see the cruelty in him. The look in his eyes. He wanted to hurt me, severely. He would have tried if that civilian hadn't called the police."
If he'd succeeded in breaking bones she'd have been caught by police and hauled in and she would have never made it to his house. She didn't think with much pushing it would take him long to start killing as she saw others of his group do. The ones he condemned he was becoming part of and she realized now that she was afraid of him, of what he was becoming. This was her life now.
"I can't trust anyone on that side, can I? Even if I see something inside of them I can't save them, can I?"
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 5:57 pm
Camelot frowned.
He knew very well how complicated friendships, or any kind of relationship, could be with the Negaverse. He had a few people that he was trying to work with, trying to trust, and others that wanted him to but he was suspicious of. Others still, of course, that would love to be able to kill him. They were all different, they all used their own tactics and morals to fight with.
Nothing was black and white. Certainly not trust.
"You what?" he asked, surprised by her words. Of course, maybe that was just his repressed jealous nature flaring up for a moment at the word 'love'. He forced it down, reminding himself that it was not that. And it wasn't the time. Lifting a towel, he dabbed at her injury to examine it. It felt almost normal now, tending to injuries.
Strange, how much things had changed.
Her story stunned him and terrified him. she had allowed herself to become friends with a Negaverse agent, and that soldier had turned on her. That, of course, was a common story. Secret identities were complicated, and this war made things even more so. Still, the description sounded as the same young man that seemed so open to the idea of finding peace.
"Kyndall..." he said, looking at her quietly. "The easy answer is no, you can't trust them. But you and I know it's not that easy. They're people. They're our friends, and we might not even know it. They're good, in their way, but they're fighting for something they believe in and we don't. There's that chaos... it distorts them. It allows them to do... terrible things. You need to be careful with them... I'm sorry this happened..."
He felt anger stirring inside him. Seeing her so upset struck a nerve in him that he swore he did not have. Yes, he was protective, but he wasn't vindictive. Still. He already heard the echoes of thoughts he wanted to force away and hide. Thoughts of revenge.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:20 pm
Kyndall laid her head against his shoulder. She knew in her heart what he said made sense but her heart was slow to catch up. She felt foolish for trusting Benitoite and for believing that what he said to her and how he pretended to care was true. She felt foolish for believing him when he said that he did not believe in killing. She saw the look in his eyes and knew it was only a matter of time before that became second nature to him.
"I know he's just a boy, Tony. He said I know him in my life that we meet and see eachother. How do I look at him again? At anyone?"
She had no idea, of course, that she'd cast him as the lead in her play. She had no idea, too, that his General was her co director and hated Tony as Camelot with a passion. Kyndall was tempted to dissolve into tears again. This was her first big heartbreak because of the war and she was taking it hard. She snaked into his arms and put them around her, needing that more than understanding words and wounds tended.
"I believed in him. When you were gone during Harmony's disappearance he was the only one I could talk to. The only other person that seemed to care and wish for her to be home as much as I did."
And that's how it started. That's how their friendship began and she was fooled into thinking despite being one of the bad guys that he was still good underneath. She thought about the silver bracelet she'd wanted to wear to the ball later on that month. It didn't seem right to wear it now. She'd give it back to him if she could.
"How do I stop him? Is there a way to save him? Make him change his mind? It's like chaos is this poison spreading..."
She shuddered.
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:40 am
Tony let her stay close to him. He moved to kiss her on the head as she leaned against him, taking a slow breath.
"This is one of the things I never wanted you to face. Remember when you were not Shalott, and you were angry with me for keeping things from you? This is part of my life that I never wished to share with you, and I don't feel bad for wanting to protect you from. This war... it's not easy. If it were easy, we wouldnt still be fighting it."
He sighed and held her, closing his eyes for a long moment.
"They can be good. But it's the chaos in them that disrupts them, that changes the way they think and act. The more they're exposed to it, the worse it gets. The more dangerous they become. That's how I've come to understand it, anyway. It is a poison, and so far we don't know how to fix it. I know there's a way: a Negaverse soldier has been purified and became a knight because of it. It's possible. It's just... difficult."
He looked at her, gently touching the side of her face. The one that wasn't injured, anyway.
"We'll find a way. Don't lose faith. Don't trust him, don't put yourself in danger, but it's not required that you hate him. We'll help him, and all the others."
Even as he spoke to comfort her, though, he felt anger burning inside him, shifting and roiling in a terrible and unfamiliar way. She didn't have to hate him, if it helped her, but Tony, Camelot, would.
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Posted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:17 pm
Somehow Kyn didn't feel much better. She sighed and clung to him, one of the good things in her life, and thought about her delicate predicament. Which was worse? Knowing about the war and being helpless for people like Camelot to save or to be a combatant and deal with situations like this where things are not black and white? She was not adept at turning on and off emotions like a light switch. She was a mother and it was in her nature to care.
"Oh, Tony, if I knew what I was wishing for..."
But she couldn't say she'd unmake the decision and she couldn't blame him for wanting her to be outside of it. It was the same wish she had for Harmony. She never wanted her daughter to make these decisions and feel this kind of heartbreak and she certainly didn't want to entertain the idea of her daughter becoming part of either side but especially the side of chaos. She couldn't imagine any child being poisoned by whatever it was that made good kids so...dark.
"I feel the same way about my daughter." she admitted slowly. "And I don't think it's wrong to want to keep the people you love safe and sound but for me it wasn't an option."
It wasn't. After everything with Harmony she'd needed a way to affect change. She needed a way to feel powerful in an out of control situation but she saw where he was going. She found it sweet and had no idea that he was boiling underneath, caring for her as he did. She had no idea she'd planted the seed of hatred in him for this. It's not what she wanted. She only wanted comfort for a broken heart.
"Just...hold me a while. Please?"
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:10 pm
Tony knew it was difficult. He knew full well how difficult it could be, in fact. But it wasn't the time for him to dwell on that. Reveling in his own stories and telling her they all go through it was not something she needed at the moment. Compassion was one thing, but there was a finesse to it. He wanted her to calm down, to feel better.
Commiserating was not the way to do that. At least, not as far as Tony could tell.
"No, it wasn't. But knowing about the war doesn't mean I can't protect you as best I can. I hate seeing you so upset, Kyndall, and I want nothing but to make sure you don't suffer like this. If there is anything I can do, you only have to ask me to, you know that. We might both be knights now, but I am at your service."
If she wanted him to hold her, then he would do just that.
He leaned back in the sofa with her and cuddled her, holding her close and even kissing the top of her head.
"Just rest now, okay? I'll take care of you, and you can stay as long as you need to. We don't have to talk about it any more if you don't want to. I promise, I'll always be here to take care of you, and we'll keep fighting so the need for me to do that will end. I believe in peace, and saving them." The negaverse soldiers, he meant.
"However long it takes, I'll make this world better for you, and for Harmony and Nathan."
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Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:15 pm
Kyndall didn't want to talk about it anymore. She didn't want to think about it. The last thing she wanted to do was start crying again and remind herself of why she felt so wretched inside. Her insides were twisted in helpless knots making her feel ill and in pain all at once. She felt heavy and listless and stupid for trying to trust someone from the other side. No matter how she looked at it she just didn't know what to think clearly.
She turned to thinking of the good things instead, at last. She thought about how lucky she was that she hadn't been seriously hurt or that she had someone to turn to in this war that she could talk to. She was grateful for her boyfriend, someone she trusted more than nearly anyone in the world. She felt better being in his arms, hearing his soothing words and pretending she could believe them at the moment. Her head said they were all true...her heart couldn't seem to catch up.
No matter what she knew he was here for her and that he'd protect her as best he could no matter what the stakes. She knew he'd be steadfast and strong which was good because at the moment she felt very weak. These were things she knew deeper than the mind. She knew them in her heart and felt them in her bones and she returned those feelings. She'd protect any of them, they're budding makeshift family, up to her last breath.
Really, when and how had she gotten so lucky? She'd never had much luck in life and here was the world's greatest guy dropped practically into her lap one day by whatever twist of fate and he actually found her worthwhile to be around! If he had any sense he'd run screaming away from her and yet somehow he kept staying. He kept loving her. Kyndall silently thanked God from her little corner of heaven in his arms that she had someone like him to confide in and be close to.
"I love you, Tony." she murmured and not because she wanted to hear it back. She said it because it was true. Normally she avoided those three words to not pressure him but tonight they needed to be said. She shivered to think of leaving him and being outside in the open. The wounds were still too fresh. "I don't think I want to go home tonight. Harmony won't understand. Can I sleep here...with you?"
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 11:42 am
Tony held her close and smiled softly as she spoke to him.
"I love you, too, Kyndall," he said softly. And he did, in many ways. Maybe not the classic way, not yet, but he was working on it. He did, however, need her in his life and felt a burning need to protect her and keep her happy.
He brushed his hand lightly down her cheek and guided her to look at him, leaning a bit closer to catch her lips lightly. closing his eyes, he let his lips linger against hers as he felt a wave of relief wash over him.
She was fine. She was alive, and she was with him. Hurting, but he would heal her. He would help her. As long as she was alive, he would be her knight, and do everything to aid her.
"You can stay here as long as you want," he said quietly, resting his forehead against hers. They were close, and he could almost feel her heart beating. It was quiet.
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Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:36 pm
"Thank you."
She was reminded again of how much she loved him and how grateful she was to him. He did everything for her and doted on her endlessly. The only reason he was in the play at all was because she asked him to be. Sure, she might have had to convince him a bit but he was doing it because she needed him. He was like that and it was part of why she loved him. If he ever wanted her to do anything for him she'd be the same.
She pressed her forehead to his lightly, feeling the lack of space between them and not minding that he was so close to her. Normally the lack of personal space would bother her but not with him. No matter how close he held her she didn't seem to mind. She shifted to hug him tightly, laying her head on his shoulder.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." And she didn't, at all. "Can we just call it a night and wake up tomorrow pretending everything is alright?"
As if such a thing could actually be done. She'd remember how she felt for a long time - too long. And she'd remember how horrible it was every time she saw him again in or out of costume.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:02 am
Tony did not feel like he needed to be thanked for anything he had done, or would do. He was her friend, and their attachment ran deeper than that, even if he could not yet put his feelings into proper words. He knew it existed.
The librarian smiled.
It was hard to do. He wanted to offer her comfort but the anger in him was burning and distracting. Still, as long as she was sitting in front of him, her eyes so heavy with sadness, her body sagging in a tired and miserable way, he could not think of leaving for revenge just yet. Not until she was feeling better.
"I think that's a good plan."
He moved to pick her up, carrying her carefully though he knew he didn't need to. She could walk, but he didn't want her to. He took her to the bedroom gallantly, which was becoming quite second nature to him now, and put her to bed.
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