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 Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 1:31 am
Thought I'd give a little content for the masses.
Comments and Crit is welcome, as long as it's reasonable.
I WILL logically flame you if you post
"OMFG THIS SUXX0RZ HAHAHAH!!!1111ONE"
Because F*cktards piss me off =D
~~~~~~
It started, it wasn't pretty or shiny... but it began.
The life of a man who called himself Mikah, it happend on a bleak december morning around the hour of dawn.
With a cry and a scream into the world he was born, to a mother of 23... however the story behind his birth is one for another time.
Now I take you to the year... 2074, barely 7 years after the december morning.
Mikah woke up and a mumble emitted itself from his mouth. He was alive, barely... but he was alive.
He lay there on his back staring into the sky with his pale green eyes. The clouds passed by in a swirl of slow moving grey. The thunder cracked ominously over his head.
He began to look arround, his shoulder length black hair brushed him as his head turned. The first thing he noticed was that it was cold, the second is that he seemed to be in the middle of a large outcropping of trees.
Slowly he stood up, pain erupting itself from the small muscles in his body. He looked over himself, he was short and his clothes seemed to be slightly tattered. He began to walk, his shorts and shirt swaying in the breeze.
He fell to the ground, the fear and loneliness taking over. He cried, the green in his eyes seeming to glow. The feeling of pain was just the beginning, after that he realized he didn't know where he was, or why he was there, where his mother was... he didn't know anything about himself. He frantically searched his mind for what a mother was, if he even had one, if he even existed. He drew blanks constantly as he tried, somehow he was being blocked from his own mind.
He began to look arround after spending a few minutes crying. He rose back to his feet again and sniffled, he was now just a lost child in a world of strangers. He didn't know where he should go or what he should do, however his first instinct was to find shelter.
He walked along through the dense trees that surrounded him, they seemed to spread for a long ways ahead, so far that he could not see the end of them.
Slowly he made his way through them, looking arround at every noise. Here or there a squirrel or rabbit would dart by and he smiled, he was not alone.
The trudge through the forest became ever more painful as his muscles caught up with him again. He sat down under a particuarly thick foliaged tree. From his glance at it he suddenly knew that it was not only old, but severly worn from the weather beating on it over the years.
Mikah's thoughts turned more urgent, he was wondering how he would eat, sleep, shelter, and maybe a little water. However he was quickly distracted as he heard a Mewing coming from close by. He looked arround quickly, wondering if he had really heard the sound. After listening for a moment he heard it again and decided to investigate.
Walking towards the sound of the Mewing he looked arround, after a few moments he spotted the kitten. It was lying there shivering, alone, just as Mikah was. Mikah knelt down looking at the kitten, it was an orange tabbycat a common occurance these days. Mikah shook his head as he remebered the information. He didn't know why he knew these things, he just knew.
The cat mew'd again, slightly scared looking. Mikah extended his hand slowly, the cat recoiled and closed it's eyes. Mikah finally reached the cat and began to pet it slowly. After a few moments the cat seemed to enjoy the warmth and started to purr a little bit. Mikah smiled at it as he continued to pet it.
"Alone? Just like me? Don't worry, I'll take care of you."
Mikah searched his mind for a name for the cat. A sudden flash came to his mind, a boy's face, one with orange hair. It was there for a second and he shook his head after it smacked him mentally. He smiled, somehow he pulled the perfect name for the cat out of a memory flash.
"I'll name you Nick."
Mikah picked up the cat and cuddled it as he walked back to his tree. It had started to rain and Mikah hoped it would stop soon. As the thunder ominously cracked above his head again, the rain fell a little harder. This would all seem extremely depressing if he hadn't distracted himself on his new friend.
Spelling corrected by GG, 8/18/04. Grammar pending. :p
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:07 pm
awsome! the kitten is so cute lol i like it a lot! so are you going to leave me hanging or finish? xp
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:12 pm
That's pretty good ^-^ I'd suggest running it through a spelling and grammar check, though. sweatdrop
Would you object to this becoming a story posting thread for others as well? Kind of like the DCK Guild writers forum xd I know there are a few users here with some great stories to tell, myself included.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:23 pm
Genius Gal That's pretty good ^-^ I'd suggest running it through a spelling and grammar check, though. sweatdrop
Would you object to this becoming a story posting thread for others as well? Kind of like the DCK Guild writers forum xd I know there are a few users here with some great stories to tell, myself included. I have one i started!!! I want post! can i plleeeaaassseeee? eek heart
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:45 pm
YO'SH!
I'd be glad to accept foundership of the "Writing Thread"
A place where you can post your stories and give good advice to others!
As for the spelling and grammar, yeah I know but I'm too lazy to dig out the Office XP Cd's so I can install word >.<
^^
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:47 pm
xd
Well here goes mine, it got 7th place in Aliana's writing contest...
Her steps rang out hard on the cold white stone. Morning mists clouded the platform, open to the chill of mountain air and the vapors from the sulfur-smelling pools far below. The girl’s slippered feet trod right up to the platform’s edge, her soft bluish hair blowing around to ring her serene face. There came a scraping noise from the main platform as a priest pushed a hard white chair up behind her, and another helped her down into it. She was already feeling tipsy from the sulfur in the air, her sensitive nose picking up the scent even when the wind blew it away. She felt a thin silver circlet, blackened by smoke, being slipped over her forehead from behind, and touched it with the tips of her fingers. The fingers returned to her blackened, and she tried her best not to wipe it off on her skirt. She heard voices as people appeared over the edge of the platform, from the town that she had belonged to. The priests behind her seemed more hurried as the people arrived, and they rushed out in strict columns, trailing smoke and incense behind them. She felt suddenly dizzy, as all of the attention focused on her, more priests below the platform now fanning the nauseating fumes straight into her face. The lighted incense sticks, waved dangerously close to her fair skin, traced strange patterns of light across her vision. She felt herself slip off into a gray place, incredibly light, and yet full of shadows. She could see the black ghosts of the people watching her, heard vaguely a voice, but did not understand it. The head priest got anxious, and paced around more frantically. She tried to go back to the reality, struggling against the vision that she had been destined to have, and yet was so frightened of. She felt the first leg of the chair slip underneath her, the violent wrench forward. A black shadow stood behind her, watching her topple straight down into the burning fumes of the sulfur pools. In that instant, she finally saw clearly - into heaven.
Depressing, ne?
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:52 pm
Wow... that was interesting.
I like the use of description.
Personally though, I like a more professional style of writing so the giant text blob looks a little ominous.
It feels easier to read if you break it up into even semi-paragraphs.
^^
And I missed Kimi's comment before, Go for it Kimi! Post stories to your heart's content!
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:57 pm
Yeah, I got lazy... I can do everything spelling and grammar related perfectly except for dividing paragraphs. sweatdrop
By the way, I spell checked the title and your story ^-^ Maybe you'd like to give separating mine into paragraphs a go? biggrin
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 5:58 pm
eek yes very. very good though! 3nodding heart
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:01 pm
Chapter 1
The alarm buzzed waking 26 year old Fancy Emerson from her returning nightmare. As she peered around the room checking to make sure everything was where she had left it she began recollecting the nightmare in her mind. She could remember the woman standing in a dark room with a strange man in a cape mumbling something she couldn’t quite make out, but the dream always cut off and she would find herself in a dark hallway running for her life from something she couldn’t even see.
Trying to shake off the chill that had begun to creep its way up her spine she rose from the bed sitting up trying to locate her slippers with her feet. Once on, she stood and headed towards the kitchen and started her morning routine of making coffee and reading the paper.
It was then that she noticed the worn brown package peeking out from beneath her paper. She bent down picking it up along with the news, but as soon as her flesh touched the package the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. Cautiously she turned expecting to see someone standing behind her only to find her living room exactly how it had been, and no person in view.
Thinking it was just the last of the nightmare slipping away she walked back to the table and sat staring at her name scrawled sloppily across the package in a blank ink. Carefully tearing at the end she peeked inside only to find a small piece of weathered paper folded in half at the very bottom of the package. Puzzled she fished it out, double checking to make sure there was nothing else, and began to read.
Dear Miss Emerson,
My name is Josh Carter and I am writing
you now to inform you that I know who your mother is.
She lived in a place called Keevly Ville, Alabama. She is
dead now. Perhaps you would like to know more? I’ll be
waiting in one week at the pavilion in the central park.
Be there.
For a moment all she could do was stare at the piece of paper in her hands in shock at the little information it provided. Could her mother have really been alive all these years? As the thought ran through her mind the memories of that horrible night she had been so certain her mother had died returned to her.
She remembered seeing their car tumbling down a large hill and off the cliff into the waters below. Could someone really survive that? Could her mother really have lived at this Keevly Ville place? But then why hadn’t she come to find her daughter?
With all these questions whirling through Fancy’s mind she stood up clutching her forehead in one hand trying to suppress the migraine she felt coming on. Moving to the bathroom she opened the medicine cabinet and fumbled for her medication. These damn migraines hadn’t let her alone since the nightmares had started up again.
With a glass of water in hand she took two pills, as prescribed by Dr. Bennett, and headed back to the kitchen glancing down at the package and letter then turning towards her coffee.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:09 pm
I really like that, Kimi! Seems like you put a lot of thought into it, unlike me xd I wrote the story that I posted in 15 minutes after seeing the profile page for the user Oracle_Nayru xd
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:10 pm
GG: maybe I'll try paragraphing it... but you'll have to wait untill I'm not lazy =P
Kimi: Awesome story, you gave good description. I can't immedately spot anything wrong with it.
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Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2004 6:15 pm
thanks guys heart it didn't take me to long lol
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Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2004 9:55 pm
I will post some of my poetry later, when I'm not so busy 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Aug 24, 2004 6:07 am
Some poetry to revive the thread.
Dreamer...
Don't stop dreaming for anything
Life may get you down but don't stop
Push on through, past all the hate
Past all the anger
Past all the pain
Push on through and live your life
Don't let the sad times make you sad
Don't let the mad times make you mad
Dwell on those happy thoughts, and don't think about the bad
Make sure you live your life with your head in the clouds and wearing your kindness as a smile
Don't ever stop believing, don't ever stop dreaming, and don't ever stop being everything you stand for....
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