Welcome to Gaia! ::

One difficult conversation down, one to go. Actually, this was likely to be worse. Jordan sighed and stared at the door of room 110 a moment longer, then raised his hand to knock. Get it over with. The longer he delayed, the more difficult it would be to make himself do this.

A small and cowardly part of him hoped that Candace wasn't in her room right now. Then again, that would just mean he'd have to go find her.

At the tone of Candace's voice, Jordan hesitated a moment longer. Then he sighed, gritted his teeth, and opened the door; he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, though he didn't advance any further into the room. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now," he said, "but I owe you an apology too. Sober, so you know I mean it."

He ran a hand though his hair nervously and made himself keep his eyes on Candace's face. Don't look away, it can be interpreted as a sign of dishonesty. "And I wanted to ask you not to blame Jerry for my stupidity. He had no idea. There's nothing going on; there hasn't been and there won't be. I don't want to be in the way. I screwed up bad, and I'm sorry." He sighed. "It won't happen again, you have my word."

The urge to explain, make excuses, to try to justify himself somehow, was strong; he shoved it back. He'd said what he'd come to say, and babbling any more was just likely to make things worse. If that was possible.

Too late not to make an idiot out of yourself, Ferros grumbled.

Don't rub it in.

Candace didn't look nearly as angry or upset as Jordan had expected; he wasn't sure whether to be wary or relieved. Cautiously relieved, he decided. He crossed the room and sat down at her invitation. He wasn't comfortable, no, but it was better than hovering at the door, and though he'd come to apologize he wasn't afraid.

She wasn't angry? That was good, at least. What she said next made him groan quietly, though. "s**t, you heard that?" He put his face in his hands. "You have no idea how much I wish I hadn't said that. It just came out of my mouth. If I'd known drinking was going to completely destroy my impulse control, I wouldn't have had any."

He sat back up then, looking over at Candace. "I don't want to interfere. All else aside, you both seem happy together. It'd be a douchebag move to claim to - to care about him and then screw that up."

Jordan looked sideways at Candace - well, he hadn't exactly been trying to keep that a secret, but neither had he been very open about it; then again, there's been the thing with mistletoe and Harrison, and that had been very public. Was he bothered? No, not particularly, he decided. Perhaps he would have been less sanguine about the whole thing if he'd figured himself out while still trying to be normal, but with all the bizarre and terrifying things that happened on a regular basis to Hunters, being gay didn't even register on the weirdometer, and it really didn't matter who knew.

He sighed. "Not really," he admitted. "A few beers at parties, but I wasn't really much for parties. What a surprise, huh." And didn't that make him feel stupidly young and inexperienced. Which ... he probably was, if he was being honest with himself, but that didn't stop the assessment from stinging.

Whatever makes him happy. But that statement had been painful; it was written clearly across Candace's face, and Jordan found himself feeling a complex mix of sympathy, guilt, and faint, quiet jealousy. It strengthened his resolve to stay out of the way, to keep from causing further trouble between the two of them.

"He is a great guy. He's a good friend," Jordan agreed, but frowned slightly, concerned, when Candace said that she didn't deserve Jerry. "He chose you," he said, hoping that it would be some kind of comfort.

The comment about Jerry's drinking made Jordan's frown deepen, though. "I have to admit I was kind of bothered by how he was acting about the alcohol," he said slowly. "He got really defensive when I asked how often he was drinking." Should he be bringing this up? But if Candace was concerned, would it be wrong to keep his observations to himself?

"Yeah. Not a habit I want to get into. Ferros gets pissy if my mind feels off, anyway." Jordan sighed. "I got an earful this morning. He wasn't pleased with me."

Congratulations on your amazing conclusion, Captain Obvious.

Not helping, Jordan grumbled back.

Candace had curled up over her knees, taut and tense; Jordan started to reach out without thinking, but stopped himself before touching her shoulder. No. Not the right thing to do, not now. "Are you okay?" he asked instead. Stupid question, but maybe it would help her calm down.

He nodded in response to her explanation. "Touchy subject? I guess it would be." He didn't have any idea how to approach it either. How nosy was too nosy, when it was touching on a sensitive subject? "I don't know. Maybe I'm just paranoid. Not really my business, I guess."

"Heh. He's possessive, anyway. I picked Kouki up to bring him back to Maddie when she'd passed out on the field, and Ferros was angry at me for days." Jordan stroked the band of his ring with his thumb in a gesture that had become habitual. He knew perfectly well what Candace was referring to, and he was going to let the subject drop gracefully without further discussion, though Candace had brought it up herself.

He nodded at her slightly shaky reassurance, letting it go at that. He didn't know Candace very well, but he was starting to get the impression that in some ways, they were very much alike; she'd let something show that she didn't want visible, and now she was closing it off again, putting her public face back on. Jordan understood that very well. She'd be okay in a minute, when she'd calmed herself down, put herself back together.

Her statement made him feel a bit better, something small and warm releasing the last of the chill in his stomach. The rest of it, though ... "If the defensiveness is an old habit, it might not be anything," he said, thinking aloud. "It's hard to tell without knowing more. You'll keep an eye out?" He met Candace's eyes. She would, he already knew that; still, it didn't hurt to have it stated.

I still don't LIKE it, Ferros grumbled. Jordan is MY Hunter and other weapons may not have him.

"We talked about it once he calmed down. The agreement is that I need to ask him first," Jordan said with a half-smile. He left out the fact that it had actually been the Circe incident that had helped to change Ferros's mind. No need to poke sore spots. "And only if it's important. Which I'm fine with."

"Tasks?" he asked, leaving aside the subject of Jerry having kicked Candace out when he woke. "Training, or other things to do? I kind of wish the Sun division head would get back; it's a little difficult to figure out a direction to focus on without anything more than generic instruction."

He nodded to the question; he could definitely agree to that. "It's a deal," he said, then, more thoughtfully, "I haven't seen him angry, as such. I've seen what he's like when he dissociates in a fight, though. That was unsettling."

"Makes sense. Sounds like a good challenge, too." Jordan studied Candace; she sounded excited about the challenge. Well, if she'd outright asked Aria to make her tasks more difficult, that made a certain amount of sense. This was a side of Candace he'd caught only a few glimpses of on missions, serious and pushing herself hard. He could respect that.

"Yeah. Julie." Jordan winced slightly. "Getting a text from Julie is always a bad sign. I do wonder what the Moon division lead is like." He'd wondered from time to time how someone like Julie had made division assistant; whether Julie had some hidden competency or whether she was just that crazy, she seemed a strange choice for a position of authority.

"He is seeing someone now for that? Good," Jordan said, sounding relieved. "I'd been concerned. I'm glad he took that advice." He leaned his elbows on his knees, smiling a little ruefully. "I'd say that repressing is a terrible way to deal with one's problems, but that'd make me a hypocrite."