|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 8:33 pm
Somewhere, she couldn't quite grasp when, but somewhere between that Jack forsaken Haunted House and the corridor, LW had shifted back to her human self. And oh dear sweet Halloween was she in paaaain! But somehow - she honestly couldn't remember how - she had made it to the Infirmary to get patched up. Sort of. Okay she'd gotten treated and her stomach was all wrapped up nice and tight. And she'd been told not to do anything strenuous. Or really, she shouldn't have left the Infirmary period. But after a day in there, LW had said screw it and demanded to finish recovering in her room.
Where she didn't have to smell the scents of blood and injuries. Or hear that laughter ringing in her mind. See that haunted look when she closed her eyes.
Yeah no. LW did not like the Infirmary. Nor did she want to admit where and how she got her injuries. She'd used some fabricated, half hysterical excuse about a spar that went way wrong. Got a good scolding for being stupid (oh if only they had really known the truth in that!) too.
Whatever. LW didn't care. She was home. And in her room. Curl- okay not so curled...more like splayed, in her pillows. One was pressed against her stomach lightly. And she couldn't bring herself to really move or do anything productive. Not to mention she'd skipped a class or two now.
Oh and her phone probably needed to be...found. It was somewhere in her room, that much she knew. But it had suffered an untimely placed lesson on how to fly. When the damn thing vibrated against her stomach while she'd been sleeping, scaring her and making the she-wolf think for one heart pounding moment, it was the rifle pressed against her most vulnerable body part. That's about when it went sailing through the air. A few minipets had squeaked, making LW feel a little bad for hurling the thing.
Of course, now that she thought about it...that had probably been a text from her boilfriend. Whoops! And now it was lost somewhere in her room. Meaning the only way she was going to get a hold of Ren was by dragging her not so willing butt upstairs, went hunting for her phone....or he came down here.
LW just buried her face in a pillow and groaned.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:02 pm
He'd called LW several times over the past day and a half and had gotten no response.
Ren was not pleased.
For one thing, it wasn't like his ghoulfriend to ignore him, which meant that she was most likely in some sort of trouble. For another thing, her not telling him when she was in said trouble was irritating him - it was not as though she was doing it on purpose, since they were both very independent people and were used to it, but the fact remained that they were a couple; and that meant learning to rely on one another.
He'd already thrown a few pillows across the room in annoyance. Yesterday Ren had gone by LW's room, only to find it empty, without any indication of where she'd gone. He'd tried a few times later that night, as well as called, but again, no answer. It was starting to grate on his nerves, and Ren had not slept yet. He had not slept well for months, and no longer relished the feeling of sleeping anymore - his tendencies as an insomniac were too prominent - but he had spent the past hour just pacing back and forth, his tail snapping behind him like a snake.
Finally he had broken his pacing, storming angrily from the room and making his way down a floor again, to where LW's room was located just beneath his.
The door was not open, but Ren did not bother to knock. Instead he swiftly stepped inside, and when he saw the figure on the bed, kicked the door shut behind him with a sharp snap.
Then he stood there, his arms folded across his chest, completely silent. It was immediately apparent, of course, that something wasn't right, that the shewolf was clearly in a lot of pain, multiple bandages covering her arm, legs, face, and torso.
Still silent, Ren crossed the room and disappeared into the bathroom. He came back a moment later with a bowl of hot water and a cloth, sitting down on the bed beside LW. He stuck the cloth on her forehead.
"You going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly, after a moment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:45 pm
She was restless. Even while drugged that first couple days in the Infirmary she'd not been able to be completely doused by its affects. Her mind just wouldn't stop replaying the feel of the barrel pressing into her stomach. The icy hot blast followed by the pain. And that laugh.
LW shuddered and then groaned when that caused her to shift slightly. Skulls! Why? Why had she thrown her phone? She desperately wanted some sort of contact. Another living being that wasn't going to kill her. Ren. She wanted her boilfriend. But lack of phone, energy and will power to move any more than she already had was working against her.
Maybe I can bribe BB to find it... Yeah right. Like the mimic would do anything of that nature for her. That would require being 'nice'.
Feeling rather miserable and like she was all out of options (a lie and she knew it), LW tried to find a way to relax. Something to focus her mind on that would let it stop racing.
Why? Why had she gone down that Jack damned corridor alone? Why hadn't she called Ren? Or even Tybalt? Anyone to accompany her down it? Why had she been able to go to the Haunted House in the first place? And why, for the sake of Halloween, had she felt pity for that b*****d? Why. Why. Why. She was like a broken record. Or maybe just a broken wolf...
And then her door slammed shut and LW jumped, twisting with a panicked expression. Which was instantly replaced with a pain filled groan as she collapsed back against her pillows. Ren. Ren is here! Though he looked kind of pissed. Okay a lot pissed. But she deserved that one. And if the pain would subside long enough for her to remember what she wanted to say, that would be shiny.
Her hooded gaze followed his movements as he sat beside her. And the second he spoke, LW remembered exactly what she'd wanted to say.
"Ren, I'm sorry!" She winced as her stomach hurt. "I shouldn't have...I-I should have called you. Shouldn't have been so....so stupid." Her body shivered as a hand reached out to touch him. To make sure she wasn't cracked out on drugs still. He was warm. Solid. Ren.
"I...I fought a Hunter." LW whispered, eyes closing shamefully.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:05 pm
He hated seeing her like this - in pain, that was, ashamed of herself; it made Ren feel horrible inside, like there was some thick, dead weight resting in the pit of his stomach and making him feel leaden and heavy.
But he also hated that she had not told him - hated that she had gone through it alone, hated himself for not being there, hated that she had to suffer, hated that she was lying here now and had kept it from him, had not tried to contact him.
"I see," came the crisp, brusque answer as Ren moved the cloth down the side of LW's face, smoothing it across a rather large, purplish bruise against her shoulder blade. It looked as though something had struck her from the front, and from the way she was laying, most of the damage seemed to have been done to her stomach.
He didn't even want to look and see how bad that was. Anger was curled in the pit of his stomach, sharp and frustrating.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" said Ren evenly, now moving the cloth to press against her arm, where there was a thick bandage wrapped several times around it. "If I hadn't come now, I mean. Were you going to tell me, or were you just going to try and pretend like you weren't just beaten half to death?"
There was a loud crash. Ren had thrown the bowl of water across the room, where it had hit the wall and shattered, water spraying over the floor. He'd probably have to clean it up later, but right now he was too angry to do much else.
"JACKDAMMIT, LW!" he yelled, his fingers clenching in his hair as he whirled around to face her again. His voice was strained, filled with anxiety.
"Why did you just go off by yourself? And why the hell didn't you call me, if anything after you got back so that I could help you?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:55 pm
If it wouldn't hurt so much, she'd just curl into a tiny ball and burrow into her pillows. But bending at sharp angles Jacking hurt! Granted not nearly as excruciating as it had when the wound was dripping blood and very much fresh. But she felt one hundred percent like a beaten puppy. One that definitely deserved said beating.
She'd known it was stupid. Known there would be consequences. And she'd spent the entirety of the time flogging herself for it.
The cloth felt so nice though. And was quite at odds with the reflexive urge to flinch away from that tone of voice. But she didn't. Couldn't, more like. Not with Ren. No, she would take what she deserved. But she couldn't meet his gaze. Not yet. Not with the guilt and shame weighing everything else down. And that Jacking laugh ringing in her mind still.
This time, she did flinch. It wasn't his words - those had finally made her look at him with a, ironically, haunted expression - but the loud crash. Some minipets squeaked and squealed, probably darting every which way to avoid the mess.
With a great effort, and hissing when things rippled with stabs of pain, LW sat up slowly and carefully. Her stomach was heavily bandaged and her range of motion was limited. But she managed to sit up, panting with the effort. She didn't care if it hurt or was yet another foolish thing to be doing. But damnit! She was not going to just...lay there while trying to find some way to make up for her mistake.
A mistake that could have cost you dearly...
Great. Her own mind was back to berating her again.
LW met Ren's eyes with pain filled, watery ones of her own. She was quiet for a long moment, letting his words, his hurt and anxiety flow through her mind. "I'm truly sorry, dear heart." She finally whispered hoarsely. "And yes. I would have told you. Should have told you the second I made it back through that Jack damned corridor." The she-wolf paused, anger briefly flaring over everything. And in the blink of any eye it was gone, leaving the pitiful creature she was in its place. ".....No. No, I should have called you when I found it." Yes. And she'd thought on it too. But the fact remained that she hadn't.
She looked down at her bandaged stomach, one hand lightly brushing against it. "Maybe I was being childish, afraid to let you see me like this. Or maybe I couldn't face the consequences of my own actions." Her hand fisted, nails digging into her palm. "I made a mistake. A huge and stupid mistake."
Fool of a wolf! You deserved everything that Hunter dished out. If not for being stupid, then for doing this to Ren.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:54 pm
He knew that she hadn't intended to hide it from him - knew that she was in pain, both physically and mentally, but it didn't change the fact that she hadn't told him. She hadn't told him, and he hated it.
Hated that she was suffering.
There was another loud crash. Ren had thrown his phone this time, and it had shattered completely against the wall, splinting into small metal pieces that littered the ground along with the broken glass from the bowl. He was back to pacing, his hair fanning about his neck, back and shoulders like a golden cloud. With each movement he could hear the jingle of the bells woven in the curly stands, and each sound made him remember that LW was lying there, on her bed, half dead.
"But you didn't!" Ren yelled, and his voice was hoarse as he rounded on the bed. "You didn't tell me as soon as you got there, or as soon as you got back! Do you have any idea how worried I've been, not hearing from you for almost two days?"
Her broken, despondent voice was making him crazy. Ren spun around, stalking around like a feral cat, his hands behind his back. He continued this for several long moments until finally he pivoted and leaned over the end of the bed, his hands on either side of the shewolf.
"You didn't tell me," he hissed, and his voice was low, angry, angrier then Ren had been in a very long time.
"You could have died."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:57 pm
Her face fell into a blank mask, something she had seen more than once on Ren's face before. And it only reminded her of that haunted expression. The dead eyes. But her eyes were very much lively. Though there was a shimmer to them that threatened tears. And her eyes stung. So did her palm. But that was probably because her nails were digging painfully into it.
She'd hurt him. More than she had even realized. And LW couldn't even begin to describe the painful tightening in her chest at this.
LW flinched when the second object shattered against the wall. She wasn't sure what it had been, but something that probably didn't come wall-proof. Her gaze followed his pacing, teeth clenched against pain, anger at herself for her stupidity, and the brokenness she felt at having hurt the one person she cared deeply for. There was no forgiveness she deserved for that.
Was it two days? She'd honestly lost track of time between entering the Haunted House and waking up in the Infirmary. And she could only imagine not hearing any word from her for that time had driven him crazy. It would have driven her crazy.
When he was suddenly right there, LW cringed, leaning slightly away. And cursed herself for it. It was a reflexive action. Especially since after her fight. But there was no Jack damned reason in Halloween she should ever fear her boilfriend. It was that final action that caused her to crumple and lose whatever ounce of strength and will she'd had left. Her head fell in a defeat worse than if she'd lost to that Hunter. She knew. Knew she should have dragged her bloodied and battered body to the one that mattered. Knew she should have called him. And if that had not been possible, when she was not so drugged and able to call, she should have called him in the Infirmary.
But I didn't. And there was no excuse for it.
"No." LW whispered, staring at her tail - which was curled around her. "No I didn't." Agreement followed by a small pause. "I almost did." She admitted, not able to look up and see the damage she'd caused in his eyes. "If my last attempt had failed...." The Hunter boy would have left the winner. Or limped.
"Avoid the corridor, Ren." She said after a long moment. "It draws you in. Compels you to seek out the other side. And once there..." Well, it appeared they had a very good chance of encountering a Hunter.
"D-Don't...make my...mistake." Her voice trembled and something wet finally slid down her cheek.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:34 pm
It was difficult for Ren to comprehend just what emotions were twisting inside of his stomach at the moment. Anger was at the forefront of everything - a hot, sharp, stabbing anger that made him want to pick up the nearest thing and throw it as hard as he could. It was not anger directed entirely towards LW, however - there was anger the hunter - whoever he or she was - for leaving the person most precious to him in this sort of condition. Anger at himself for not being there, for not protecting.
And yes, anger at LW for not telling him, but above the anger for her was a deep, entrenched sense of hurt. There was no betrayal - he knew her well enough to understand that it was something she had just not thought about, and had not done it purposefully to hurt him - but she had still hurt him, and Ren was drowning in pain. Where LW's was mostly physical, Ren's was a mental pain that cut deep into his chest, turning into a physical one that made it somewhat difficult to even breathe.
She didn't do it on purpose. It was there, in his mind, combined with the overwhelming sense of sadness and pain just looking at the miserable ghoul in front of him.
She was broken.
His eyes flicked over her, falling on the bandaged stomach, and Ren's gaze hardened as his lips pressed together in a thin line. His hand snaked around to the back of her neck, and quite suddenly he was kissing her, hard and fast and with a near desperate passion that was filled with every sort of hurt, pain, anger, and frustration he could fill her with.
When he pulled back, it was only for a moment, Ren burying his face into LW's hair and inhaling her scent, his eyes squeezed shut, his other arm around the shewolf's shoulders to pull her against his chest.
"Don't you understand," he hissed out. "That seeing you like this is killing me inside."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 11:36 am
She didn't have to look at him to feel it. To sense the amount of hurt she had caused. It was there, like a slap to the face, shattering whatever strength she'd had left. The she-wolf didn't know what to do. What to say. Her mind couldn't get past the hurt. And part of her was terrified to look up. To meet his eyes and risk seeing that expression. The one that haunted her. That the Hunter had worn.
Broken. She was broken. Lost.
What was she supposed to do? What could she do?
Idiot wolf! No denying that one.
I made a mistake. No really, you think?
What if...I hadn't come back?
There was a dull sting in her palm now, where nails had pierced the skin from clenching her fist so hard. But LW didn't care. She deserved. It was nothing compared to the pain she'd caused Ren. And she desperately, from the bottom of her heart, wanted to turn back time. Go with that gut instinct that had told her to call her boilfriend. But she couldn't.
When she felt his touch this time, she didn't flinch. Didn't move or really register it. But the kiss. The kiss she felt. Met full force with her own pain, anger....and the deep sadness she felt for what she had done to him. LW poured her heart into the kiss. Her passion. Her apology.
She didn't care that it hurt. That the tears trickling down were a mix of her physical pain and sorrow. Or that the harsh breaths of air set her stomach on fire. LW wrapped her arms tightly around Ren, burying her face against his chest. The she-wolf trembled and clung tighter at his hissed words. She tried to find something, anything to say. Words failed her. Her chest hurt and felt heavy with guilt.
"...What...would you have me do then, Ren?" LW finally asked in a hoarse whisper, body curling into his, letting everything that was 'Ren' surround her.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 7:57 pm
He hated this. He hated being mad at her, hated how she cowered under his gaze, hated the tears that he was causing that slid down her bruised cheeks, hated the wide-eyed, pained look in her face.
He hated causing her any pain, but that was what he was doing, wasn't it? He was causing her pain - but she had caused him pain too, and every cell in his body was screaming at him to just take her into his arms and never let her go. The thought of a life without LW was just so unbelievably outlandish, so horribly terrifying that Ren did not even want to imagine the possibility of being here when she was not. It made his chest ache, made it difficult to breathe.
Don't leave me here alone.
All he wanted was for her to be safe - for all of them to be safe, LW, Jove, even Tybalt, even the long lost friends that he did not want to think about because it hurt too much. Ren's heart was already breaking because of them, and the thought of LW disappearing like they had made his mind seize.
His fingers tightened on her shoulders, and Ren slid his hands up her arms to cup her face, kissing her again, over and over, wanting to breathe in her scent forever, drown in everything that she was.
"Don't you realize just how much I love you?" he whispered again, against her lips, and sighed, his breath fanning over her face as he moved away, pressing his forehead to hers. His fingers smoothed over her cheeks, Ren's eyes closing.
"Please just...don't do it again. Don't go without me, don't do this to me, to yourself. I can't...I can't stand seeing you like this."
He leaned back, kneeling more comfortably on the bed, and sighed once more, gently caressing her face with his fingertips before cupping the side of LW's face in his hand and giving her a wan, tired smile.
"I'm supposed to marry you one day - how can I do that if you're dead?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:13 am
She would never forgive herself for the pain and hurt she had caused Ren. Ren! The boil she loved. Had given her heart to. And she'd hurt him. Hurt him bad. All because of a foolish mistake that could have cost her everything. Her chest felt unbearably heavy. And her body ached with more than just pain from her injuries.
Stupid idiotic wolf! How could you cause him such pain?
LW shuddered, feeling unbelievably small and the most vulnerable she'd ever felt. She would give just about anything to turn back the time, fix her mistake. Take away Ren's hurt.
I can't...lose you.
She remembered, when her mind had figured out how bad the odds were not in her favor in that last few moments. What had crossed her mind when the she-wolf knew, if she failed in that last attack, she'd never see Ren again. Her thoughts had been on him. LW couldn't imagine it. Couldn't even bear to think about it. To lose Ren, leaving him here without her? NO! No, she'd fought, with everything she had, so she could return to him.
I love you.
LW stared up at him with that beaten look in her eyes. She half closed them as his hands slid up to her face. They felt nice. Warm. Ren. And his kisses! His taste. His scent. His warmth and love. LW surrounded herself with him. Her hands curled in the front of his shirt, clinging to him, pressing her own frantic kisses against him.
I love you!
A choked sound escaped, her eyes closing as tears threatened to fall again. His breath was warm, his touch comforting. Her fingers tightened in his shirt.
"I'm sorry." LW whispered again. "I...won't. Won't do it again without you. Shouldn't have done it in the first place. And I don't deserve any sort of forgiveness for my mistake." She trembled again, pressing her face against him.
"I'm supposed to marry you one day."
Her whole being froze, heart literally stopping for a minute. Had...had she really heard those words? I'm supposed to marry you one day~ This...had to be a dream. Maybe she was still drugged out and in the infirmary. Or she hadn't made it out after all and everything now had been a cruel play of the mind.
Marry you one day.
LW opened her eyes slowly, tilting her head up and meeting those golden eyes. Her mouth was slightly open in disbelief and she felt lightheaded.
She pulled him to her, toppling backwards on the bed with Ren above her. LW kissed him, arms wrapping around his neck. Her kiss was hard and desperate to know this was real. This wasn't a dream. Wasn't something her mind was tormenting her with.
"I love you, Ren. So very much." She breathed out, almost gasping for air as she buried her face into the base of his neck. "You mean everything to me." LW whispered, shaking. "I love you, from the bottom of my heart. And will always be yours."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:12 pm
If he tried to think of a life without LW, there was nothing - only blackness. Ren had become so used to the shewolf's presence in his world, so completely connected with her that he found it difficult to even imagine what it might be like otherwise. It was not so much that he was dependent on her - Ren was hardly dependent in general - but the bond they shared - the absolute trust and dedication they held for one another was one of the things that had brought him out of the black hole he had been in before.
How did it take me so long to see that? he wondered, even now, as he lifted a hand, trailing the backs of his fingers against LW's face. How did I waste so much time not knowing that this was where I was supposed to be all along?
She had frozen in front of him, her eyes wide and shocked. Ren waited for the inevitable brain breaking of his last statement, and he gave her a slightly rueful smile.
"Not exactly how I planned on proposing, mind you," he said. "And this isn't...really one either. Not yet."
His fingers brushed over her chin, her lips, as if memorizing them.
"But someday," he said softly, just before she pulled him forward and kissed him, both of them falling back onto the bed with a quiet thump. Ren's arms went around LW's waist, holding her tightly against his chest as though letting go would mean losing her somehow.
He buried his face in her hair, his wings flapping, cocooning them.
"Don't ever leave me, okay?" he whispered, and kissed her again, and again, and again, never wanting to let go.
"I love you."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
