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 Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:46 pm
There was a single cook in the kitchen when Julie and the gang arrived. And by the time Jordan received the text, titled with a singular "Come to the kitchens please (: ", he was probably not expecting to be almost bowled over by said singular chef hightailing it out of the kitchens.
And then, there was Julie and what looked like a handful of the most pathetic, sad looking Moon Hunter trainees ever.
Said Julie tapped her spatula lightly against an overturned pot. "Attention attention all gathered. You are here today for a very special important secret mission." Which really, was no different from any other special important secret mission she had advertised the past five or six times. "We are at the point of an incredible breakthrough. Do you know what that could be, little helpers?" Julie didn't wait for an answer. "No thanks to Clarice, we have almost perfected the perfect Joy recipe."
Blank stares.
The Moon Hunter simply pointed towards the counter in the center of the kitchen the "island" counter, where heaps and heaps of questionable looking food, from cookies, to muffins, to cupcakes, nanaimo bars, rice crispies, were all stacked, piled, and jumbled together. She looked extremely proud of herself: bad omen number one. "Now, unfortunately everything is still in the experimental phase. That means trainees, it is time for you to do Deus Ex Machina proud, and help me create the perfect Joy recipe. Can you imagine what it would be like if there was Joy every single day?" Actually yes, yes they really could.
Once again, she tapped her spatula against the pot, trying to recapture their attention from the unanimous looks of shock and slowly growing self-loathing. "Now, this is what you need to do. Simply try one of the experimental Joy pastries, and Jordan here will list on this notebook-" here, she pulled out a retro notebook complete with the flashing two-picture panels on the cover, ones that children often found in their cereal boxes -"the results of your endeavors!"
The only Sun Trainee in the room got an equally retro coloured pen. "Go on now, I have booked this kitchen for a whole two hours!" THE MISSION - ALL MOON HUNTER TRAINEES HAVE BEEN ASKED TO SAMPLE THE COOKED PRODUCTS. Jordan then must then observe the results of each trainee's sampling and record (Icly write /record) the results of each attempt. ((OOCLY: Moon Hunter trainees roll to post, Jordan records each roll result from a visual/observation perspective)) - If a trainee needs help well: Jordan is here. Bless him. He can help you. - ALL MOON HUNTER TRAINEES: Roll a 100-sided dice and roll out the results. You can roll as many times as you'd like, really, though you are free to RP out the effects of your roll for a little longer. Feel free to pester Jordan, I'm sure he knows the answer to everything. - 1- 10: You don't feel that different. Well, it looks like its not Joy. You move to grab another cookie when you lose your balance - what the - oh my god nooooooo (Your trainee has swapped gender) - 10 - 20: You eat a cookie and immediately feel shorter. Wait, if everything was so tall how the heck are you going to get more cookies? (Your trainee has turned into a 5 -year-old, again) - 21 -30: You pick out pastry and slowly chew. Well, so far so good. You feel better actually, and for some reason, really light. Whoah, hang on a second, you feel really light. Your body starts floating towards the ceiling and... HELP (Your trainee has gained the ability to float helplessly like a balloon, they are essentially weightless). - 31 - 40: Well this pastry is really good, but you feel like you deserve something more. Of course you do. You are a princess after all. (Your trainee thinks they are a princess, but they are actually not one okay) - 41- 50: No effect. You go to explain this to Jordan, when you suddenly stop yourself. This is strange, you can't even explain. You're thinking in rhyme, but why, you still feel fine! (Your trainee can only talk and think in rhymed sentences/ verses) - 51 - 60: You immediately fall asleep. (Someone better tap or nudge you to wake you up) - 61 - 70: Well, other than the cupcake tasting awful no huge effect. You open your mouth to say something - miaow. (Your trainee is now a cat) - 71 -80: If anything, you actually feel okay, if not for some reason, like you suddenly can handle everything. Is this the effect of Joy? Who knows. (Your trainee has now AGED TEN YEARS/ gained 10 years of experience). - 81 - 90: You turn around to gaze at Jordan and suddenly find him to be the most attractive trainee ever. (Your character has suddenly gained a huge infatuation for Jordan) - 91 - 100: You can't stop singing for some reason. Everything that escapes from your mouth seems to simply be horrible pop music as well, whyyyyyyy. (Your character can only sing bad pop songs).
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:02 pm
The single smiley face at the end of the text was a better identifier than a signature. It was also a more ominous one. Messages from Julie were almost always a sure sign that something terrifying and contrary to any kind of earth logic was about to occur. However ... well, you didn't really have a choice about it. Jordan headed for the kitchens, attempting to brace himself mentally for whatever was about to happen.
Do you think this is revenge for the books thing? Ferros asked.
I don't know how she could possibly have found out that was my idea. It was still vaguely possible, though.
... There were stacks of pastries of all kinds in the kitchen, plus Julie, plus what looked like every single trainee from the Moon division. Jordan found himself being handed a notebook and told to record results. Of experimental attempts to duplicate JOY formula.
"Yes, ma'am," he answered Julie, and shot an apologetic look at the other trainees. If this was his fault, he was really sorry.
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iStoleYurVamps rolled 1 100-sided dice:
68
Total: 68 (1-100)
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:18 pm
Julie was taking him and the other moon trainee somewhere. Probably their deaths. But she was the Division assistant and they had no choice. Well they did but insubordination seemed more shameful then death by Julie mission. In a weird way but- whatever. The kitchens came into view and- Yep. Food poisoning. They were dead. Nice knowing you guys. A heavy sigh as Julie explained the 'mission'. Really Julie? JOY? Everyday just- Julie you cruel and unusual person, were you even human? Clarice was the smart one, not helping you Julie. That was part of why she was probably in the life division. Jordon got a look of Pity. He wasn't even moon and he'd been roped into this. Poor guy, he felt for him, Marcus really did. Picking up a pastry he raise it to the sun trainee. "Nice knowing you Jordan. If I die make sure they don't experiment on my body okay?" A look at the other moon trainees. "Bottom's up?" Timidly, he bit into the cupcake and- Nothing, well aside from the fact he almost began to gag. No death, no mutant growths, other than shitty cupcake he was fine. That was until he began to ask Jordan how he got roped into this as Marcus suddenly let a loud meow out.  God damn it.
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Pixie Nyxie rolled 1 100-sided dice:
1
Total: 1 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:31 pm
Dakota groaned at the assistant moon hunter. God Dammit it all, he had gathered the moonies to partay....not be the test subjects of some messed up cookie fiasco.
Frowning, he mouthed to Marcus, "sorry boss" before reaching for a cookie.
Bottoms up guys! He mentally cheered before biting into the cookie. At first he felt nothing.
"This doesn't seem so bad." Where Dakota's masculine voice failed, a high pitched female one replaced it. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and looked down. He looked slimmer.....besides the soft squishy flesh on his chest....and a certain thing that was not dangling in between his legs.
He was a girl....a girl.
"Nice.....niceeeeee. I got a rack." Dakota grinned as he looked at Marcus, "yo boss! I know we didn't want to pick up chicks but....does becoming one mean anything?" She grinned before going about to play with her boobs. Yeah, she was fascinated, anything less wouldn't be Dakota.
Effect: Gender swap.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:49 pm
Marcus pawed his way over and without a single mew, flexed his claws and gave Dakota's legs a good swipe This was no time to be fondling yourself Dakota. Marcat just kind of sat there. As a cat. " Meow."
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Lilpuffs rolled 1 100-sided dice:
88
Total: 88 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:57 pm
Even if Ceres had not had experience in Julies baking before, what was happening around them was enough to make anyone not DARE try.
Right?
...Only thing was, Julie must have somehow picked up on her 'do not want' vibes, because not even a moment later the Assistant Leader shoved something sweet in to her face.
A moment of gagging, and some rather unfortunate swallowing of the food, and a moment of 'oh s**t'. Eyes wide, she thought for a moment... and looked up.
Only to find, NOTHING wrong. "Huh..." She had eaten something and lived? Did this have Joy in i-
Then she caught sight of Jordan.
And the world stopped.
And even Dakota suddenly having boobs was not enough to distract her. Not even Marcus and his adorable kitty form. Tunnel vision mode on, she found herself set and marker on the most gorgeous bing ever alive. When did she decide this? Just now. So, Moving over towards him.... Ceres found herself locking arms with the red head and intent on NOT letting go.
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OnionGrump rolled 1 100-sided dice:
99
Total: 99 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:31 pm
And here Ryan had been glad to see the end of the Joy cookies. Now Julie was trying to bring them back? That was it. His mind was made up. Julie was definitely the devil the guise of a woman!
The mere sight of the food put him off. He did NOT want to sample one of those--those... could you even call that food? Though... what would happen if he didn't? Would he get stuck with something worse? At least with this the worst that could happen was that they drop dead from food poisoning and that was certainly a lot better than some things he could think up. Maybe.
Out of fear of getting something worse and with a silent farewell to his life, Ryan reached for one of the goods.
Strange... he felt okay. He wasn't on the floor breathing his last anyways. Though the same couldn't be said for the others. Ceres was clinging to Jordan, Marcus was now a cat, and Dakota was.... Dakota was playing with his new chest...
Opening his mouth to scold him, Ryan was shocked to find that, for some reason, that the words he said weren't the words he had intended to say. Nope, instead it sounded kind of like--no, a lot like that really bad pop song he heard some time ago. s**t! He didn't even know he could remember the lyrics! That couldn't have been because of the... Could it!?
Clamping a hand over his mouth. Ryan refused to speak for the rest of the night and made a silent vow to never sample Julie's baking again.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:00 pm
"I'll do what I can," Jordan answered Marcus. He flipped the notebook open (noting in passing that the hearts with smiley faces on the cover blinked when he moved it; creepy, really), and wrote Marcus's name on the page, then watched with mild trepidation as Marcus picked up and bit into a cupcake. And became suddenly considerably shorter, fluffier, and more feline. With the gonna have a hairball expression on his face. Jordan moved back a step; Marcus was his friend, yes, but hairball. Fortunately it passed; the cat that had been Marcus - Marcat? - looked up and meowed. Then it looked startled. "Uh - can you still understand me, Marcus?" Jordan asked, bemused. He'd sort of expected something weird to happen, but this was a lot weirder than he'd been anticipating. Still, he'd been assigned to record results. He shot a slightly panicked look at Julie, who seemed ... proud? Ooooookay then. Quote: Marcus Hasan - Cupcake - Transformed into black and white long-haired cat. - Appears unable to speak, but can meow - Mind still human? Dakota had picked up a cookie; when he bit into it, there was a brief, odd blurring effect that made Jordan blink. Then he blinked again, because Dakota had gotten curvier, and a lot more feminine. "If only that worked on golems," he muttered. Dakota seemed to be enjoying the experience rather too much, but he wasn't about to comment on that. Quote: Dakota Rainstar - Cookie - Changed gender - No immediately apparent negative side effects When Jordan turned around, Julie was in the process of ambushing some poor trainee with what looked like a brownie. Maybe. Miraculously, she didn't look like anything about her had changed after Julie flitted off humming to assault some other victim with dubious pastries. Jordan vaguely recalled hearing someone address her as Ceres; he looked down to write her name into the notebook, and was thus taken by surprise when she attached herself to his arm and stared up at him, practically sparkling. "Uh," he said. Now what? "Are you okay? Do you - um - feel strange or different?" It took some careful maneuvering to free his hand enough to write, but he managed. Quote: Ceres Kentley - Brownie, forcibly administered - No physical change Ryan had picked up an unidentifiable lump covered in powdered sugar. If it had been anyone else baking, Jordan would have said that the item in question was a cookie, but with Julie, who knew? He'd write it down as a cookie, anyway. There were no visible, immediate effects, and Jordan opened his mouth to ask if Ryan felt anything unusual. And then Ryan turned to say something to Dakota, and what came out of his mouth was, " Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down - " Jordan didn't blame Ryan for his immediate and stubborn refusal to try speaking again. He gave the guy a sympathetic look. That had to suck. Quote: Ryan O'Connor - Cookie (powdered sugar) - Uncontrollable singing (?)
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:07 pm
Harrison watched as Marcus turned suddenly and horrifically into a cat. His good fairy grew a pair (decidedly the wrong pair), and another guy burst into song.
He put the bag of sour cream and onion chips he'd brought for the party on one of the counters, and leaned over to get a look at Jordan's clipboard.
"This is a voluntary mission, right?" He asked him.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:16 pm
"Not sure, honestly," Jordan answered, glancing again at Ceres and utterly failing at edging his arm gently out of the girl's affectionate hold. "Julie texted me for a mission, and handed me a notebook to record the effects of the baked goods when I showed up, and that's about all I know about what's going on."
He gave Harrison a pained look; then he remembered abruptly that last time he'd seen Harrison, the two of them had been the size and apparent maturity of small children, and had been intent on ruining one another's day. "Er," he said, and tried to figure out what to say next.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:37 pm
Not sure was a good enough excuse to avoid pastry-eating unless it involved...a pay dock. or something. Ceres was clinging to Jordan and staring at him with a decidedly goopy expression.
"Sorry," Harrison filled in, "about all the name-calling. And uh...pushing you. Usually I don't... I mean. It wasn't nice," he finished lamely.
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:40 pm
"Don't be shy, there is more than enough to go around, Danny." Before either Harrison or Jordan could ask who 'Danny' was, Julie had already somewhat forcibly stuffed half a rice krispie square in Harrison's mouth, giving the sole Sun Hunter trainee two thumbs up.Toshihiko Two Roll a 100 sided dice as per post one!
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:44 pm
"I'm sorry too," Jordan said, relieved. "I don't - er - I think everyone was being pretty uncivilized, really."
Annnnd there was Julie. Once she'd gone, Jordan said, "She's like a ninja. A rainbow pastry ninja. It's disturbing. Are you okay?"
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Toshihiko Two rolled 1 100-sided dice:
36
Total: 36 (1-100)
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:46 pm
"Mmf mm Mm-nne," Harrison protested around the krispie, before nearly inhaling some and coughing up the rest. He covered his mouth, trying to dislodge stray rice kernals and holding up his index finger to indicate one second for Jordan.
When he straightened, he dabbed at his mouth with the edge of his coat, like he was using a fancy lacy scarf.
"Fine," he said, "and it weren't lady-like, besides. ...You got any paper? I think my crown got misplaced courtesy of the last ninja that came through here."
It wasn't lost, it was soaked in blood, B0nez reminded him.
Harrison blushed at the reminder, "I mighta been fighting then, too. I'm supposed to have proper knights to fight for me, but-" he looked glum.
Harrison noticed the cat pawing at Jordan's legs. "Oh, hey. It's Marcus. Poor guy." Harrison picked up the cat, "Whatever he ate must have had a wicked spell placed on it."
He brightened.
"You think it can be broke? Same way they do for frogs?"
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 5:50 pm
Of course he could understand you Jordan, god. Well, at least you did start speaking to him like he was a mentally challenged toddler. Marcat might have clawed you then. Meowing again, loudly, he walked over, tail twitching on occasion. So weird. just- a Tail. Ugh. Ugh. He wanted his body back. Suddenly, as he neared Ceres, his nose twitched. A few faces and a sneeze later, and Marcus's fur was puffed up. a pitiful mew came out. The saddest eyes he could muster were given to Jordan. His head tilted at the counter. Up please. "Meow. Meow. Meow. Meowmeowmeow. Meowwwwwww." paw paw paw That was until Harrison picked him up. And Marcus just kinda...hung there.... Until Harrison suggested that he was under a spell like a frog and just- "HISSSSSS" No claw swipes but Marcus didn't like the idea of Harrison trying to kiss him to cure him.
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