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Aponi unshrunk himself and sighed deeply throwing himself down in the meadow. The dandelions poofed up and spread out across the wind. He really just didn't feel like moving. Dandelions and..daisy's...they all reminded him of her. Most of the time now, he was okay. But sometimes like today it was just really bad. Some days it was hard to let go of the mate and foals he'd lost in one fell swoop.

He laid there, just existing for awhile before a sound reached his ears. Pulling himself to his feet, he listened to the intent sound of someone who sounded quite...gleeful. Who was here and why were they happy?

Aponi thudded back to the earth with a loud, "OOF!" Shaking his head out, he scrambled back up to his feet. "Chasing butterflies?" He shook his head out again a bit dazed still.

"I'm Aponi,"he looked at the brightly animated stallion called Eryion. He was really a bundle of raw and exorbitant energy. Aponi couldn't help but laugh. "Can you talk just a little slower?"

Aponi wasn't quite sure what to think of this male. Eryninon did he say? He was awfully bubbly and hyper--reminded him a bit of Charlotte. He could feel the deep pain in his chest as he thought of her. Today was just going to be one of those days where he couldn't escape her. He might as well just curl up into a ball now...

But he'd come so far, he didn't want to be crippled again. He wanted to, well try to push through at least. I mean it was worth a try. He cleared his throat, "Butterfly? I've never called myself that. I think the name you mean is flutter?" He paused, "You've never met another male flutter?"

That was odd. He'd seen many flutters in his life. Or at least it felt like a lot. There used to be a meadow he went to...on days like this it felt like thousand of them descended on it, flittering from flower to flower. Moving and swaying in the breeze--the light laughter floating everywhere. That was back in happier times.

Aponi hesitated for a moment, "My mate was a flutter. She was very kind, very beautiful and delicate. I never met many other flutters. But she came from a large herd of them. She was going to take me after the foals were born..."

His voice dropped low as he got lost in his mind again. It had been a long time since he'd said so much about her.

Aponi nodded sadly, still slightly lost. "It must be nice," he didn't mean to sound so bitter when he said it but he messed Charlotte terribly. That longing for her, for the family and life they were denied ate away at hims sometimes until he felt that there was no point in living on.

But he had continued living despite the utter futility of it. He tried to smile, "More hyper than you? Is that possible?" He couldn't help but tease.

Aponi smiled, "Generally, I prefer when others do the talking. There's not much left to talk about me anymore..." He trailed off as he looked in the distance. It was days like this, with the subtle hint of spring in the air that Charlotte had searched out every single dandelion.

She'd always loved them, always loved spring...But it was always the wildflowers that reminded him of her most. The yellows and purples brought back her vivid colours and personality. And--

He shook his head coming back to the present, "I'm sorry. My mate...is gone." He said it with a heart-rending tone. "Dead," he clarified as he shut his eyes.

Aponi sighed and laid his head down. "There's nothing left to talk about, when she died...and the foals....There's nothing left. Sometimes, I wonder why I even go on. What's the point? I mean, why do I even try to live each day because it's no easier the next day or the next or the next. There's no relief in sleep or waking. I keep thinking, it'll get better...It'll get easier...but, how could it?"

He paused, feeling the crystaline tears falling down his nose and the choking feeling beginning in his throat. "I don't know what to talk about, what would help...if anything."