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The hangover had been no more than he deserved. Probably less. Jordan wasn't sure if he wished he'd been drunk enough to forget what he'd done last night. It would have been nicer not to know; but at the same time, he'd still have found out later, and the consequences would possibly have been even worse.

Consequences. The pounding headache and nausea when he'd woken up had occupied most of his morning; Ferros's silent yet deafening disapproval hadn't helped in the least. Though the physical sensation of sickness had faded, he'd spent the rest of the day with his stomach in knots, angry and ashamed and feeling like an idiot.

The last part of that was possibly the worst.

He needed to apologize, and he needed to do so before he found some kind of excuse for further avoidance; that, at least, Ferros agreed on. So he'd hung back at the entrance to the dining hall until he'd spotted Jerry.

He took a deep, shaky breath and made his way over to the table, sitting down across from his friend. He hoped they were still friends, anyway. "I want to apologize for last night," he said quietly.

That comment got half a smile. "Yeah I - didn't realize it was going to hit me so hard or so fast." Jordan sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for what I did. I guess my impulse control was pretty well shot. I'd meant not to do that."

You're talking around the issue, Ferros said. You can't just say 'sorry I kissed you while I was stupid drunk'?

Jordan winced. I feel enough like an idiot, he said. You don't have to remind me.

I could have told you it was a terrible idea, but you got drunk while I was asleep, Ferros huffed.

Well, I won't be doing it again.

"So I heard. The Gala was special in all the wrong ways, by everything I've been told," Jordan said, and quirked a small smile. He hesitated, then went on, "I don't think he - well. Anyway, it won't happen again."

How much of the previous night did Jerry remember? He'd had a lot more of the bourbon; even if his tolerance was much higher, Jordan was still sure that Jerry had been quite drunk by the end of it.

Jordan stared at Jerry for several long moments, nonplussed. Was it actually possible that Jerry hadn't realized, even as painfully, pathetically obvious Jordan had been, about his stupid crush? Was that the bourbon, or was it just another example of Jerry having the subtle and delicate emotional perceptivity of a lava rock?

Either way, he should be grateful. He was grateful. He might not have gotten a verbal answer to his question, but the total lack of response to his kiss had been answer enough; if Jerry didn't remember or simply still didn't understand, they could pass off the awkwardness that hung between them as a natural reaction to a drunken impulse. Still, the realization woke a faint numb ache in Jordan's chest.

I'll get over it, he said to Ferros, dully angry at himself for not having already squashed the feeling. The dragon didn't respond in words, but the low, warm rumble of his concern notched up for a moment.

Aloud, he said, "Well, I wouldn't normally hit on someone who's got a girlfriend." A small, rueful smile. "I think I'll continue to avoid that."

Jordan rested his elbow on the table and covered his eyes with his hand for a few moments, stifling a groan. Yep. Lava rock. If he tried to approach this in any way other than direct and blunt, Jerry was probably going to miss it.

"Jerry," he said, not looking up yet. "Uh - don't go looking for the right girl for me. I'm gay."

Judging from the shade of red Jerry's face had just gone, he'd figured it out. Jordan sighed. He'd really been hoping that he'd escape this conversation without further embarrassment or awkwardness, but it appeared the universe had it out for him.

He flinched as the coffee cup went over; hot coffee plus lap equaled pain and discomfort. "You okay?" he asked.

In any other situation, the gobsmacked look on Jerry's face would have been funny. As it was, Jordan found himself unable to meet Jerry's eyes; he looked away, feeling his face heat up with a blush. "I'm sorry," he said again, quietly.

"How much of last night do you remember?" Maybe there was still a chance that Jerry didn't recall what Jordan had said. He wasn't going to count on that, though.