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 Posted: Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:00 pm
The metal kitchen bin had its lid stuck tight for what might have been years. Its dark green paint had melted in the sun, baking the lid to the bin itself. Freddie had come across it ages ago, but had only now remembered a prybar to open it up. He was greeted not by material treasure, but with a wretched, cloying fruity stink. Unfortunately... or fortunately, if you were smart about it, the bin had been completely filled with plant matter. Old tomatoes, rotting bananas, apple cores, half of a pineapple with a few umbrella toothpicks still stuck in it... it was a disgusting melange of fermentation and decomposition, but the liquid that had dripped to the bottom of the trash can was incredibly potent. A clever creature thinking quickly could cut the mixture with water and chop the fruit pieces into chunks, making the worst imaginable jungle juice. An even more clever creature would use a rusty tin can to ladle it out into more cans and barter for drinks.
And this is where Freddie came in. The fae, winged d**k was more than happy to play bartender. Stacking a few cardboard boxes for tables and propping the bin of liquor up on a rusting three-legged thing that may once have been patio furniture, he flitted about as the word began to spread that a pop-up bar had emerged downtown. All there was now to do was wait.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:15 am
Rolling happily in an old drainage run off ditch, Crusty Taco was enjoying life. She had found this place some time ago, the stench brought her to it. A large cement culvert ran off here, grabbing run-off from street sewers all over the city. Inside this water was a cocktail of nastiness that any d**k would give their right ear for... E. Bola, Salmonella, and a guaranteed bladder infection awaited anyone brave [or stupid] enough to get in. CT was made for a place like this though, her fat rolls completely covered any orifice that this funk-water could get in to.
A snapping turtle lazily swam by, stalking a small and deformed toad on the bank. CT watched the turtle and simply wondered what it would taste like. Overhead, she heard one of the faerie dicks crying on about something. It mostly just annoyed her, but she decided to get out of the water, shimmy back into her cape, and walked up the muddy bank to a vacant field that once held grass, now just more mud.
Juice... Liquor... Old Fruit... Downtown She only heard a few words that the d**k had yelped, but the few she heard was more than enough. Ever curious, CT wandered across the field and onto the street, her nose carrying her to its splendid destination.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:17 am
Cockery was a mother ******** badass.
There was no way around it. He did who he wanted to, when he wanted to, and wherever he wanted to put it. Bitches respected him. He was the most tenured member of a clan of particularly bright colored and dim-witted Dickens. He was a participant in the first great orgy, and his seed had spread and began to flood the area with his glorious taint. And most importantly, he was thirsty.
Having caught wind of some sweet juice flowing downdown, Cockery decided to investigate. His strut would have been too much though, so he toned it down, and instead used his ninja macaw stealth as he wandered closer and closer to the stand. He was going to get his-self some fine drink on.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 1:41 pm
"Aunt Redrum! Waaaiiiit!" a youngish d**k wailed from the entrance to derelict apartment. The red, faceless d**k she appeared to be speaking to paid no heed, but simply continued floating on.
The first d**k groaned and wrung her paws. "We can't leave Uncle FLORAL and Mini alone," Sari continued, though Redrum was probably out of earshot by now, "But I can't let you wander off by yourself, either..." The last time Redrum had gone off on her own, it had been to collect 'music' for her machine. The screams of the pups still haunted Sari's dreams. No lasting physical harm had been done, but she wondered if their psyches would recover. Maybe they'd turn out like Uncle FLORAL?
Black eyes widened in panic, and she was resolved. "Mini?" she called as sweetly as she could manage. A little long d**k came up to her. "We're going to play Stay Quiet And Don't Answer The Door, okay?" For a moment, Mini looked almost happy. "And we need Uncle FLORAL to play, too, okay? Now you two find some place small and dark to stay in, okay? You like small and dark, don't you?"
"Small and dark," the little d**k repeated.
"Right!" Sari said, "I'm going to go away for a while, but no matter how long I'm gone, don't stop playing, okay?" Mini nodded, and Sari bolted outside. She stayed just long enough to hear all the locks click into place before running in the general direction Redrum had gone.
"It's okay, she couldn't have caused any trouble so quickly. It's okay, it's okay. OhGodletitpleasebeokay!"
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