Dear Tony.

They were easy words to write but, unfortunately that was the only easy part of this letter. She trusted him more than any other human being on the planet, even more than her own daughter, and now she found it hard to compose a simple letter.

When she first found out he was single she was horrified that when he told her her first reaction, the simplest instinct, had been joy. She’d been elated to find out that he no longer had a girlfriend and it hurt her, deeply, that she could possibly take joy where he was feeling pain. Oh, no, it wasn’t because he was feeling pain but it amounted to the same thing in her mind – a simple betrayal of emotion she’d never share with the rest of the class.

She wanted to explain to him how she felt so that he knew and understood. Time had passed. Things had changed.

Dear Tony, I love you.

Christ! How do you open a letter like that to someone who just lost his girlfriend? Even though weeks had passed by now was it still fresh? Do you want to come off as someone opportunistic and selfish? She certainly didn’t want to leave him with that impression because that simply wasn’t the case. As she’d said at the time, she expected nothing from him but to be her friend and allow her to be his. But, she couldn’t deny that her feelings had developed and that her crush had blossomed into something unexpected and for a long time – unwelcome.

Besides, what was there not to like? He was sweet and strong, kind and compassionate with smarts and looks. She was the calm to his awkward and could be around him and deal with his shy moments in a way, she thought, most couldn’t. They went well together. He knew her secret and helped her along. She found him completely attractive and often daydreamed with him as the star in some machination of her mind. The Romeo to her Juliet or the hero to her heroine. After Christmas she’d had to let him know. Finally, she had to tell him.

Taking up a pen she pressed it to paper and tried to express how she felt in feminine flowing script.

Dear Tony,

I think you’ve known for quite a while now that things between us haven’t been the same as they used to be. I’ve tried to keep it to myself so that you’d never feel strained to try and do something you’re not ready for but all the same I also think you deserve to know how I feel. I never want to make you feel pushed or pressured in any way but I think it’s only fair to let you know this first hand this time.

I told you once a while ago that I was falling in love with you. It’s not true any longer. I’m completely in love with you now and try as I might the feelings will not diminish their claim over me. It’s for so many reason and in so many ways I don’t think I have the ability to express them all. The fact that I can even manage to write this letter at all astounds me.

You mean so much more to me than I ever imagined possible. If I were to lose you it would be a staggering loss in my life. As a friend and as a mentor. As someone I can rely on and trust. As someone who cares for my daughter and loves her as well as I do.

You mean everything to me, Tony. I love you.

Kyndall

She sent it before she could change her mind and prayed that he wouldn't hate her for it.