“It's called an eyephone,” the sales assistant said in a voice that was a little less chipper than she normally would have used. Mae looked up at the frost demon nervously, wondering if something was wrong. Did she not like it? Was there something wrong with it? Well, something had to be wrong if the ghoul had been scrutinizing it for the past thirty minutes. Mae didn't want to sound upset or rude to the ghoul either, after all, the customer is always right. She didn't want to lose a potential buyer. Also, she didn't want to offend some demon who looked Pretty. Damn. Rich. The Manager had just dealt with Steve's very angry customer last week and well... it wasn't a pleasant experience.

“So... Do you like it? It comes in black or in orange if -”

“Sorry but uh, what is this screemail function here?”

“The what?”

“Screemail, see when I tap this button here it shows this list of options ... hogmail, Bahoo, Geemail...”

“Oh yes, the function allows you to read your screemails off the phone!” Duh. Well, it was obvious... maybe the ghoul was new to smartphones.

A rather embarrassed look was forming over the frost demon's face. She really didn't want to ask so many questions... but there was so much she didn't know!

“Oh, uh, okay. Actually, I was wondering how to use one... seems like I have to sign up for an account?”

No. jacking. way. Mae stared at the ghoul in utter disbelief. SHE DIDN'T HAVE A SCREEMAIL ACCOUNT. Oh come on, everyone and their mother had one. 6 year old kids already -

Patience. Patience. Mae forced on a smile and answered her question calmly. “Yes you do! It's really easy actually, just go to their web page and click the link that says Sign Up, fill in your particulars and it's all yours to use!”

“Oh I see! So it allows us to send each other messages? ...Addressed to each other's screemail address I presume?”

Mae smiled and nodded politely.

“So...” the ghoul paused to fumbled with the box and the instructions manual, “what's the difference between screemail and texting? We still get the messages in written form right? I'm assuming this works like a telegram service...”

Mae's jaw dropped and the desire to facepalm was burning. Telegram. Just how archaic was this ghoul!

“Well, to read your screemail, you would first need an account like I've mentioned earlier, and you have to be on the interweb to access it. Whereas for texting, all you need to do is sign up for a plan with one of the telecomm companies who will then assign you a phone number-” Mae stopped suddenly, realising she should clarify certain things before rattling on. “This is your first mobile phone isn't it?”

A sheepish nod and grin confirmed Mae's worse fears. This ghoul was ancient.

“Okay. Look, I'll show you,” she said, pulling her own eyephone out of her pocket and showing the ghoul. It took quite a while to explain how to use the email function, how to text, how to make a call (yes, that too), how to add contacts to her phone and how to .... everything. Explaining the apps were the WORST, most tedious and excruciating thing she had ever done since her stint here at the electronics store. Mae honestly wondered if she was going to get a Best Employee of the Month service award for this. Well at least the ghoul seemed to understand quickly. Could have been worse she thought to herself, though she highly doubted she'd be explaining all that to a 5 year old. Heck, she might not even have to explain it to them. Kids started really young these days...

“So... Do you like it? It comes in black or in orange if -”

“Oh yes I do, thank you so much for explaining all of that to me I have been really out of touch see-”

Mae winced but smiled at the understatement of the year.

“So uhm, I just go to one of the telecomm companies on level 4 and sign up for a plan with them after this purchase? Just to confirm, some of the packages do come with the Data Plan which gives the phone interweb access or if not-”

“Or if not?”

“I- just enable wifi rrrrright?”

Mae nodded sagely.

“Sorry to be a bother, but may I ask how much would a package like that cost?”

“It ranges really, the package with a Data Plan would cost more of course, but it depends on your needs, how much talking time you clock per month, etcetera. Some of the packages throw in the phone for free too so that's more value for money.”

“So I can actually get a phone there while I sign up for a plan?”

“Yea” the answer was weary.

....

NO. JUST. WAIT. NO. NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. The sales assistant stood there in shock with a very strong wanting to bash her head against the wall. Why. on. Halloween. did she just say that?

“Oh, alright, so I'll just head over there and get everything done since it's more convenient? Thank you so much for your time really, I'll be lea-” The blue haired ghoul stopped suddenly, remembering something. Mae meanwhile, was on the verge of tears and close to slapping herself.

“Would your store happen to carry an eyepod too? And headphones?”

Mae's eyes gleamed with life once again. YES. YES THEY DO.

“Yes, we do. Would you like to see one?”

“Oh yes please.”

Mae paused for a moment to look at the ghoul, realising something.

“You'd need me to explain how that works too yes?”

“Y-Yea.”

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