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In the middle of the night, Freida sat bolt upright in bed, her body moving before her brain could register something had happened. But she came awake fully, alert, and grumpy. She could tell already she was not about to fall asleep again any time soon. Dammit! It was the fifth night in a row that this had happened!

She made herself lie back down anyway, trying to avoid the inevitable. But her legs were restless, and the sheets wrapped themselves around her too tightly, and the comforter was doing everything except comforting. It was like- like her body knew something the rest of her didn't. With a growl of annoyance, she kicked her way out of bed, and got dressed. Dressed warm. She was going to take a nice, long, tiring walk. Walk herself to exhaustion if that's what it took!

With not a thought for her parents, except to leave quietly and lock the door behind her, Fred strode out into the frigid January night. She walked as fast as the snow on the ground would allow, and was soon sweating beneath the layers of clothing. Dark houses and yards all around, bright white snow, lambent lightposts, and deep, heavy silence.

Her anger carried her past all these, until she found she'd stopped. In a playground. The restless feeling had stopped, too, and Fred couldn't help but think that this was where her body had been trying to take her these past nights. Which was ridiculous. Why a playground?

Still...

Minutes later, Fred was riding a bright purple frog like a bucking bronco.

I- Th- Wha? Fred stared down at the little cat, frog forgotten. Talking cat. Yeah, the talking cat took priority. Dear god, he even had a little mantle with tassels. As the frog slowly rocked to a standstill, Freida closed her eyes and rubbed at her temples with her gloved hands. Okay, what did you do if an animal started talking to you? Was this a dream? (Seemed kinda cold for a dream.)

He seemed friendly, at least. Maybe she should try... talking back?

Getting off the frog, Fred slowly crouched down until she was as close to the cat's eye level as possible.

"Hi, uh... Pippin?" she replied, incredulity coloring every word. "I'm not a bear, and I'm not yours. I'm a human, and my names Freida. Call me Fred. Is this- Is this a dream, or are you actually talking to me?"

Wait a minute. "Are you crying?!"

This cat did not just talk, he gushed. Fred was hard pressed to process everything he said, but she held still and let him rub up against her. The novelty of a talking cat was still holding strong. However, as she puzzled through what the cat- Pippin was saying, her face fell into a decidedly un-amused expression. Did he just give her an order?

Talking cats could get her attention, but knowing how to talk definitely didn't entitle him to her obedience. Fred stood up and gently removed Pippin from her shoulder. She held him under his forearms at arms length so she could look him directly in his shiny, anime eyes.

"One: Slow down, I'm having a hard time understanding you. Two: From what I did understand, you think you can call me Freida. No. You want this 'chat' to continue, you call me Fred. Three: I am the exception. You don't get to store anything at my house without my permission. You don't get to come to my house without my permission. I have a dog, and he might be fat, but he's tenacious, and he will waddle after your furry butt until he has something cat-shaped to chew on. Capiche?"

Freida's frown grew deeper and deeper as Pippin talked. The bop on the nose didn't help, either. The little cat grinned like a Cheshire and bossed like a school marm. Deciding that she'd had enough of... whatever this was, Fred put Pippin down on the ground, and loomed over him.

"Okay, so as I understand it, you're still going to call me Freida, you still think you can come to my house without my permission, and you called Patton stupid." she said, tone decidedly hostile. "That's three for three, p***y-cat. I don't know why you think I need you, but I can tell you I sure as @#!% don't want you! Now scramble on back to Disney!"

Face red from anger, Fred turned and stormed off, deliberately avoiding the path back to her house. If this cat decided he was going to follow her, she wasn't going to go and show him where she lived.

"Wonderful leedle bear!" she muttered to herself, mocking Pippin in a high, squeaky tone. "If I was a bear, I'd eat him."

Fred ignored Pippin's excuses, pausing only to pick up a fallen branch and take a swing at a nearby bush to send the snow flying away in a spray. She really wanted to hit something now. Something tangible. Something crucial.

But she liked animals too much to entertain the thought of sending the little cat flying beyond a brief, red-tinged fantasy. Instead she swung at the snow on the street, using the stick like a golf club. Watching the streetlight glitter through the explosions of snow was enough to occupy her attention for a few moments.

Then two things happened at once. She heard the cat running toward her, yelling something, and she smelled something awful. She nearly gagged it was so bad. She concentrated on the surprise and pricking pain of Pippin's claws as he latched onto her leg to keep from retching. Pippin finally yelled something intelligible through his high-pitched babble.

"STOP WALKING, WOMAN!"

The stench grew stronger, and now that Pippin had shut up, she could hear the low burbling wails and moans coming from just a few yards ahead. She looked up, and flinched, her Pippin-free foot taking a step backwards, away from the enormous Tar Slug.

Girl stared at Tar Slug. Tar Slug burbled at girl.

Abruptly, Fred smiled. She hefted the stick in her hand, getting a better grip, and took a practice swing in the Slugs direction. She'd wanted something to hit, hadn't she? Lifting the stick overhead, she took a deep breath, and charged at the slug, yelling a battle cry as she went.

"METAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!"

Fred could barely hear Pippin over her own voice, and quite honestly, she wasn't listening. The Slug just sat there, waiting for her, and she obliged. Putting her back into the blow, she swung the stick down towards the Slugs' head. It hit with a bodily squelch, and for a moment the things eyes disappeared. Fred felt a thrill of satisfaction, until, the Slugs' head started to reform. One gooey eye stalk rose around the stick, a dull red glow meeting Freds startled face.

Well, $#!*.

She tried to yank the stick back out for another swing, but it held fast. All her tugging served to to was alter the angle of the stick, turning the monster into a lopsided Slugicorn.

She put her foot in it. No, really. She literally lifted her Pippin-free boot and stuck it in the body of the Slugicorn to try and get more leverage on the stick. Instead of giving her leverage, however, her foot began to sink into the body.

"$*%^@! C'MON!" she yelled, getting angrier by the second. She tried pulling her foot back out, but the Slugicorn seemed to be pulling her into its body. Aside from that, however, the monster didn't seem to interested in attacking. Apparently, it felt it didn't need to, since the human was doing all the work for it.

With her two hands still clutching the stick, which was the only thing keeping her upright and away from the Slugicorn, Fred felt Pippin's claws scratch her as he climbed her like a tree. Oh, what the hell, why was he on her head? A star and two bright green eyes appeared in her field of view. Fred blinked, and finally paid attention to what he said.

Unfortunately, so did the Slugicorn. With an ominous burble, it began to pull Fred in faster, its eyestalks stretching up the stick to try and entrap her hands as well. Fred let go of the stick, wobbled, and quickly grabbed hold again. Dammit! She couldn't keep her balance without it, and she didn't want to fall into the damned Slug! She let the Slugicorn engulf her left hand, and reached up to take the pen Pippin offered.

A pen?! How was a pen and yelling at the Slugicorn supposed to help? Fred didn't see any other option at this point, the gooey tendrils of tar were almost up to her elbow.

F*$% this.

"You better know what you're talking about, cat." she growled. He wanted passion? He got it.

"URSA POWER, MAKE-UP!" Fred howled, putting all her pent up anger and frustration into the cry.

Like sticking a fork into a light socket, Fred felt a surge of energy, and an explosion of light burst all around her. She barely had time to register that she was free of the Slugicorn, because she was spinning, and the light was gathering around her, and then.

She was back on the snow covered street. The Slugicorn was still there. Pippin was still there. It took Fred a second to register that the only things to have changed was that she was free of the monster, and that she'd had a wardrobe change.



There was a long pause as Fred processed this.

"Okay, that was pretty badass."