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 Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 11:12 pm
“So…”
Being in Chris’s apartment again four months post-break up was like coming home after a long, stressful and unwanted vacation—only vacations were meant to be nice, and breaking up definitely wasn’t, so Paris figured it was more like that business trip you didn’t want to go on but had to anyway. The sense of relief he experienced in being allowed inside the tastefully furnished flat again was akin to the relief he felt in being alive after a hard fought battle. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself. He felt giddy and elated and wanted to do everything at once.
He’d been inside a couple of times since their break up, of course—after he’d revealed himself to be Ganymede, and after helping an injured Chris home from the hospital—but there was something different about those instances and now. There had been some sort of a barrier up between the two of them before. They could get close, but no matter what they said to one another or how they happened to touch, they could never quite get close enough.
But it was different now, and Paris could not stop smiling.
They’d just finished watching a movie, some action flick Chris had preferred over Tangled—and Paris was so delighted to be with him again, snuggled against his side and practically laying in his lap, that he hadn’t argued over the choice. He’d disentangled himself once the credits rolled and brought an empty bowl of popcorn into the kitchen to dispose of the unpopped kernels and place the bowl in the dishwasher, and as he came back out into the living area, Paris leaned over the back of the couch and slipped his arms around Chris’s neck, setting their heads side-by-side as he asked the question he’d been mulling around in his head since their night at the motel nearly a week ago.
“Are we dating again or is this just a friends thing?”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 12:43 pm
He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Paris so happy. Not before the week of Christmas, at least. And while he was glad that Paris was happy, it made him a bit self-conscious. What the hell had he done to cause such a change in emotions in someone? He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything different than he usually did. He was just as much of a jerk as he always had been, maybe even more so since he hadn't exactly ever punched someone without reason before.
But with Paris... Paris just seemed happy to be around him, just... in his presence. It made him want to check his breath more often, or glance into a mirror a few extra times in the day to make sure his hair wasn't completely out of place — it didn't help that he'd been refraining from getting a proper haircut and now he looked quite shaggy, but still clean cut. Maybe like a wannabe surfer dude.
Chris didn't say anything when Paris got up to put the bowl of popcorn away, but he did stretch out his arm that had been falling asleep from being stuck in one position for too long. He hadn't really minded it, probably due to the fact that Paris was so damn happy for whatever reason. He didn't even argue about the movie, which... in all honesty, Chris had picked out just to see if Paris would argue, but he hadn't.
And that only made him feel more self-conscious. Which made him feel like a high schooler.... to which he grimaced to himself and tried not to think about it too much.
He had his arm over the back of the couch, which he then lifted to place his hand at the back of Paris's neck when he moved over to him, his arms around him. It was a legit question, of course. He hadn't really thought about it, himself. Their relationship was just... too complicated to limit to the standard terms.
So he didn't answer right away, his fingers scratching lightly at the back of Paris's head, leaning his own head back a little to rest more on Paris's shoulder. "Did you want to date again...?" he cautiously asked, not wanting to offend him with the wrong answer.
Hell, he didn't even know what they were... All he knew was that he was happy around him, needed to protect him, and wanted to spend his time with him. He'd always felt that way around Paris, now... it was just a matter of allowing himself to feel those things while understanding that, yes, Paris was a boy. A very pretty boy and one he'd been convinced was a girl. But Chris had already come to terms with the fact that he tended to stereotype male and female and was sure Paris wasn't the only one he'd confused in the past.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:13 pm
He didn’t know whether he should be worried or not when Chris answered his question with another question. That wasn’t how he’d expected him to answer. Paris had been under the impression that they were in fact dating again, seeing as Chris didn’t exactly strike him at the sort of person to do the whole “friends with benefits” thing, and Paris thought he’d made it very clear himself that that wasn’t what he was after, though considering they hadn’t had the opportunity to really talk about it before now, he wondered if he might have been giving off the wrong impression and picking up the wrong sort of vibes in return.
He frowned lightly—though positioned as they were, Chris wouldn’t be able to see that it was more of a pout than anything—and tightened his arms around Chris as he propped his chin on Chris’s shoulder and let himself enjoy the hand in his hair.
“It’s not just about what I want, though,” he argued. “I don’t want you to go out with me again just because I want you to. You have to want to go out with me, too.”
Why wouldn’t Chris want to go out with him? Okay, so he’d lied to him before, and there was that whole coming out of the closet issue to deal with—that Paris could sort of understand even if he didn’t think it was that big of a deal, but then he’d never had much of a closet to hide in and later come out of, considering he’d always been rather comfortable with his sexuality, so maybe he didn’t understand as well as he should have—but those were things they could easily work through together. Besides, he’d sorta begun to think that Chris sending him flowers had been his way of saying “hey, I still like you, too.”
“But since you’re asking, I don’t really want to do the friends thing,” Paris said, heaving a sigh that sounded somewhat put out, “because then you could just go do the friends thing with someone else, too, and I don’t think I feel like sharing. I’m kind of over that sort of thing now anyways.”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 1:34 pm
Again, he didn't respond right away. It was a lot to think about, although he thought that the little effort he was putting into thinking about things helped a lot of the time. Then again, he also almost died when he didn't think through talking to a Negaverse General and ended up in the hospital for stitches.
As for dealing with his sexuality, or whatever was going on in his life... despite trying to think long and hard about it, he just couldn't come up with the capacity to care. At least not on the spot, by himself, without a third party influence to challenge his opinions. He knew he liked Paris, and it wasn't as if he was the only guy he'd ever looked at. He just... never really thought of it before as a physical attraction. He appreciated both male and female bodies (or at least their legs), so going through a whole 'coming out' phase just... seemed like a waste of time.
Maybe he was too nonchalant about these things... but at the moment, he knew what he wanted in his life, and if that happened to change down the road, well... he'd figure it out then.
"I wouldn't mind taking you out to places again," he admitted. "I have a job now, so I'm not just burning through my trust fund." Chris smirked lightly, his voice obviously light and joking. Despite wanting to work for free, he'd reluctantly accepted the paycheck Paris and his father gave him. It wasn't anything huge, but it would cover a nice dinner every week or so.
As for not doing the friends thing and sharing...
"Well... what do you say, Paris...?" he asked, trying to glance at Paris out of the corner of his eye, but when he couldn't properly see his expression, he pulled away a bit, turning enough to be able to at least mostly face him. "Wanna be my boyfriend...?"
It sounded strange. It wasn't that he was weirded out by it, but it wasn't something he'd ever expected to say. Then again, there were a lot of things that he never expected that ended up happening.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:05 pm
“You can’t just ask me like that,” Paris said, grabbing onto Chris’s shoulders to give him a little shake—which wasn’t really much of a shake because Chris was heavy and Paris wasn’t trying all that hard to begin with. “I just told you I don’t want you to go out with me just because I want you to.”
He huffed and slid his arms away, only to climb over the back of the couch and plop down beside his ex-and-potentially-current-boyfriend. Paris continued to frown and eyed Chris as if he expected better.
“Why don’t you just say you don’t want me as just some booty call you hit up whenever you’re feeling bored or lonely? And if you do want that then you should just say that, too. I won’t be offended,” he reassured him, “just upset.”
Devastated, more like—but he wasn’t going to admit that to him.
“I’m not asking you to be romantic about it,” Paris continued with a roll of his eyes. “I like to tell myself I’m not really into the romance thing anyway, so you don’t have to ask me like a dork asking the pretty girl out to prom. Just be, like, ‘No, Paris, don’t go out with any other guys, because I want you and they’re not as good as I am anyway’ or ‘Baby, I missed being with you like this, so let’s do it again’ or whatever. Not overly sappy but… You don’t have to be so blunt about asking either. It’s lame. Who does that anyway?”
Chris did, apparently. He’d asked him before—at camp, when Chris’d thought he was a girl—but that was different because they’d only been casually dating before then. Now there was sex, and there wasn’t anything casual about it in Paris’s opinion.
“I want to go out with you, but if you’re just doing it to make me happy it isn’t going to work, because then I’m just going to be even more upset when you decide you’d rather have some girl… or some other guy… I honestly can’t decide which would be worse or if I’d be upset and pissed off either way. It probably wouldn’t matter, but it had better not be anyone I know, because then I’ll hate you and them, and I’ve had enough friend drama this year to last me a while, so if you’re seriously just going to screw me over you might as well just tell me now…”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:23 pm
Chris sputtered lightly in surprise when Paris shook him, or attempted to, and gave him a quizzical look as he then jumped over the back of the couch. "Um, hey. This isn't a playground." Something his mother would say... and he tried not thinking about turning into his mother as he got older.
The odd look he was giving him didn't cease as Paris started spouting off reasons as to why he shouldn't say things and then explanations to his own thoughts. It was cute, but he was pretty sure Paris was exaggerating a bit.
"When the hell have I ever been romantic?" he asked, truly perplexed. Chris wasn't a romantic type. He never had been, and while he might have tired in past endeavors, he quickly realized that he was much too blunt to follow through with something sweet and sappy. Sure, he sent Paris roses, but Paris had a thing for roses and he thought it would mean more than just... nothing at all. Besides, what the hell did you give someone after a performance? Flowers. Bingo.
He lifted a hand to place on Paris's forehead, as if to teasingly hold him back from the onslaught of rambling he was enduring. Er, of course Chris knew he was known for rambling, himself, so he didn't think he had any right to say something against it, but he really didn't think Paris needed to worry about something like this.
"Okay, okay... Don't be my boyfriend. But don't be my booty call," he said, wrinkling his nose in a teasing manner. "And if we're going to be dating, we're going to have to set some ground rules this time."
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 2:56 pm
“What? No, you can’t just change the subject like that!” Paris argued. The hand on his forehead, practically fending him off, had absolutely no effect on him whatsoever. Except that he tried to glance up at it, only that hurt his eyes so he stopped that after a few seconds and looked back at Chris again instead. “Either I’m your boyfriend or I’m your booty call, which is it?”
He would have liked to point out that sending him meaningful flowers with meaningful little notes attached constituted as sappy and romantic, and that some of the restaurants Chris had taken him to before they’d broken up could have been looked at the same way, but he was much too distracted by the other topic up for discussion to argue that particular point at the moment.
“I thought I just told you I wanted to be your boyfriend, only I don’t want you being my boyfriend just because I want you to be my boyfriend!”
He wasn’t getting angry or especially upset, but the circling back and forth was starting to exasperate him a little bit. Being evasive was just as bad as being too blunt.
“If there’s going to be ground rules, then ground rule number one is that you can’t confuse me, because that’s annoying and frustrating and I don’t really like it. You can be real with me without being lame and dorky about it. Ground rule number two is that you don’t make any other booty calls to anyone else, because I’ll get jealous and you probably won’t like me when I get jealous, because then I also get angry and vindictive and mean, and I don’t really like being mean even if I’m kind of good at it sometimes, and why do you have your hand on my forehead?”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:30 pm
Chris chucked lightly, not sure why Paris felt the need to fuss about their... whatever they had... oddball relationship. Although, was it really that strange? Well... he had thought that Paris was a girl for quite a while, so yeah, that made things a bit strange.
"Wait, you can't be both?" he teased again, wondering how long it would take to really get on Paris's nerves. Right now it didn't seem as though he was too upset, but Chris would be sure to stop if it seemed to be going too far. "And who says you get to set the ground rules? I think ground rule number one should be 'no lying,'" he suggested, giving Paris a pointed look. After their past problems, he thought that it was pretty important that they were honest.
He didn't bother answering why he had his hand on his forehead, but he moved it soon, ruffling his bangs first, before lightly running his fingers down Paris's face so he could gently take hold of his jaw in his palm. He squeezed his cheeks together, having Paris make a poorly executed fishy face, which (to Chris) made his expression even more hilarious.
"Calm down, okay...?" he requested, leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. Teasing again, of course. Right now he was just testing the limits... "I am being real. If you don't want lame and dorky, you might have to find someone else. Because I certainly don't try to be lame or dorky. It just comes naturally... or something."
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:52 pm
“What are you doing to my face?”
A pointless question, and one that came out sounding a little muffled through the awkward expression Chris was forcing his face into. He sat still and let Chris kiss his forehead before looking up at him with another small frown.
“I haven’t lied to you in months!” he insisted. “And me not telling you I was Ganymede wasn’t a lie so much as it was me protecting myself! Not everyone is like you! Some of us are smart enough to be a little more cautious about who we reveal our identities to. You don’t see Bruce Wayne going around all ‘Hi, I’m Batman. Hey, how are you? Did you hear I’m Batman?’”
He let out a huff and shook his head until he managed to dislodge Chris’s hands from his face. He was sure the fishy face was not an attractive look for him. To make up for the lost contact, he edged closer and plopped comfortably into Chris’s lap, settling himself down sideways and returning his arms around Chris’s neck.
“And anyway, I have nothing else to lie about,” Paris said. “It was only ever those two things, and the thing about going to Crystal on scholarship, but that was part of the girl lie and not something I count separately, so whatever. Everything else was totally the truth. So if you have any other secrets for me, you should go ahead and get them off your chest now, because that rule applies to you, too, and before you start pretending as if you’ve never hidden anything from me I’ll remind you that you turned into Valhalla a few days before our first real date but you didn’t think that was something I needed to know until a couple of months later.”
Paris stared at him with a raised brow as if to say “Ah ha! I got you there!”
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:03 pm
"You were the first one I knew that I told," he said, frowning lightly as Paris clambered on top of him, his arms around his neck. "You were the first one I'd told without any hint previous." Tony knew who he was, but it would have insulted his intelligence to pretend that he wasn't the same guy who'd been walking the little Spitz. "And I'd just asked you out, so yeah I thought we were at that point in our relationship that I could trust you. But for the record, I'm not talking about the Ganymede thing. I don't consider that a lie at all. It was the girl thing that you lied about."
He didn't really continue to complain about that, though. If Paris hadn't lied about being a girl... if they'd never gone on dates before... who was to say that Chris would ever have the idea to ask him out as a boy?
"And why are you comparing me to Bruce Wayne of all people? I think I'm much cooler," he joked, turning his head just enough to place a light kiss against Paris's temple, his arms lifting to wrap loosely around him. "And I don't tell everyone. I've been more careful about it, lately... If I wanted to tell everyone, I'd send it out in an email... post it on Facebook or something. My parents don't even know. And thank you for not telling Peter, because he knows too much as it is." What with being a cat for that short amount of time and all...
"What? You think now you have permission to just climb on top of me?" he added with a snort, but didn't do anything to push Paris off.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:27 pm
“I think you’re much dorkier,” Paris replied. “And I can climb on top of you if I want to. You can’t really complain about it. I’m gorgeous and I barely weigh anything compared to you. It’s not like I’m crushing you.”
He released a heavy sigh and removed his arms from Chris’s neck anyway, leaning backwards until he’d flopped onto the couch cushions, his stocking-clad legs still draped over Chris’s lap. Paris turned his head to be able to look at Chris instead of staring up at the ceiling, forcing a pout and staring at Chris with big, sad looking eyes.
“You should just tell me what you want from me,” he said. “You already know what I want. And if you don’t, you’re completely clueless. Everyone else notices. I mean, I go home every night and bake something for you to eat at work every day. I don’t do that for just anyone, and I’m always trying to get your attention, and I only ever want to be with you nowadays. I thought after the other night that you wanted me. Well, I still think you do, otherwise you wouldn’t let me hang all over you, and I know you think I’m cute and attractive, and I know you care about me, and that should be enough, but I still want to know if you think this is an actual relationship or if you just want us to be really good friends with some really nice benefits.”
Months ago, it wouldn’t have mattered to Paris what they were. In fact, he probably would have preferred the latter, if only because he’d been convinced that relationships weren’t meant for someone like him. Sometimes he still wondered if he could make one work. He thought he’d done well with Chris before, lies aside, but he had no other experience with things like that and therefore little else to compare it to—except for the relationships of other people, but his parents weren’t exactly a model couple, and the only one of his friends who’d had a real relationship was Ladon, but that wasn’t any better.
The only other people he knew to look to as any sort of guide were Chris’s parents, but they were married and in love and Paris didn’t think it was fair to try comparing his relationship with Chris to that.
“Just tell me ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Are we dating again?”
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:29 pm
Chris raised an eyebrow at the response he got, trying to hold back a grin but not being very successful. He leaned back against the couch, propping his head up against his hand as he turned slightly to stare down at his potential boyfriend, his free hand reaching out to place on one of the legs across his lap, absently running his fingers along Paris's shin.
What did he want from Paris...? There was a question for the ages. When they'd been dating before he'd wanted everything that came with a typical relationship. Companionship, understanding, trust, intimacy... it wasn't as if he was expecting something unreasonable. He didn't really have a list of things he wanted, but rather just... went along with things.
He did blink curiously when Paris had brought up the things that he baked, realizing that... yeah... Paris probably put a lot of time and effort into that. But he hadn't realized that he'd been going home and making him things every nights! Jeez... "What the hell, Paris?" he grumbled, giving him an incredulous look. "I mean, yeah... I noticed how you got me stuff to eat, but I didn't know you did it every night. That's crazy..." Who did that??
Eyes rolled at Paris's final question as Chris shifted a little awkwardly now that he'd been put on the spot and feeling very spoiled and pampered. Yeah, he was flattered that Paris would make him something new every night, but wasn't that a bit much...?
"Yes," he finally answered after a few moments of trying not to grumble under his breath about how ridiculous this all was. "But you can't keep baking me cookies. Like... God, Paris... one batch can last a week."
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 2:47 pm
“I don’t just bake you cookies,” Paris pointed out. “Sometimes it’s pie, or cake, or brownies…”
Not that it mattered what it was. It was still rather obsessive either way. Paris couldn’t deny that now. He’d thought he was just being nice at first, but once it had been pointed out to him he realized it looked desperate and a bit over the top.
“Whatever,” he mumbled, trying to play it off. “I was just trying to be nice, but if you don’t want it then I won’t do it so much anymore…”
No big deal.
Paris laid there for a little while longer. He was pleased that Chris had finally provided an answer to his initial question, and happy that it was the answer he’d wanted, but he couldn’t help wondering how well things would turn out the second time around, or if something would happen to ruin things again. He supposed it wasn’t anything to worry about right now. What had happened before was done and over with, and what would happen from here on out was anyone’s guess. They just had to let it be and focus on the here and now.
Which placed him in Chris’s apartment, spread over Chris’s couch with his legs draped over Chris’s lap. He stared at him for a little longer and let the situation sink in, before his frown turned into a small smile and he propped himself up on his elbows.
“I’m gonna stay the night,” he announced. He didn’t bother to pose it as a question since he figured Chris wasn’t going to argue against it. “I’ve been wanting to break in your bed.”
He grinned and pushed himself up further to lean in and steal a quick kiss. “Unless you’d rather spend the rest of the night watching movies…”
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:26 pm
He didn't pull away from the stolen kiss, but instead sat there and eyed Paris curiously, as if he wasn't really sure of what was going to happen now. The announcement that Paris was saying the night wasn't really a surprise. He hadn't expected for him to head back home when it was late (unless he felt the need to be with his father for whatever reason), so there was no reason for him to counter it.
Instead, he continued to sit where he was and stare at Paris a little longer. He wasn't really sure if he wanted to respond to the comment about his bed, and in the end he just grinned lightly, shaking his head at the latter suggestion. "I'm all movie-d out," he said, his hand still along Paris's leg and his other holding up his head. "Have you really been wanting to, or are you just teasing me?" Chris eventually asked, not sure if he was going to start getting some kind of complex with how much Paris apparently liked him.
He didn't see why he was such a catch. On the contrary, from their past psudo-relationship, Paris should know that he was quite boring when it came to dating, rarely did anything exciting, and was an all around killjoy about things that rubbed him the wrong way. How in the world would someone like Paris, who was free sprited and open to new and exciting things, not eventually get bored with him?
Or maybe he was causing himself to get a complex about it.
Whatever it was, he found himself hesitating where, when he thought Paris was a girl, he would have jumped. Could this be a phase he was going through? He didn't think so, or at least not initially, but it was just... too easy. Nothing was ever this easy. It made him nervous and unsure and he sincerely hoped that Paris wouldn't pick up on the discomfort because he didn't want him to think it was his problem when it wasn't. But Paris had always been rather intuitive when it came to how he was feeling about things.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 3:59 pm
Paris rolled his eyes before grabbing another kiss and sliding off the couch, removing his legs from Chris’s lap and hoisting himself to his feet. “Why would I tease you?” he asked.
He had before. He probably would again, but he wasn’t right now. He would have thought Chris would be able to tell the difference. It was still too early in their relationship to tease about things like that anyway. Maybe weeks or months from now when the newness of it started to wear off, but definitely not yet. He’d been wanting Christopher Gallo since that party in April. He’d never spent so much time waiting for a single person in all his life. If he didn’t get what he wanted from them fast, he moved on to someone better.
But he’d waited for Chris, and now that he had him he wasn’t going to waste time teasing him. They had too many months to make up for, and he fully planned on making up for them.
“Even if I was, there’s nothing stopping you from trying to get it anyway,” Paris told him, smiling and batting his lashes and striking a seductive pose. “Except your fourteen-year-old self-esteem. What happened to the impulsive, semi-confident, impatient and demanding Chris who took me to the motel last week? I like that Chris. He was sexy.”
Paris took a few steps away from the couch, walking backwards as he headed for the stairs. He stopped at the bottom with his hand on the bannister, watching Chris with an inviting gleam in his eyes. “When you find him, come meet me upstairs,” he said.
With a quiet chuckle, Paris turned and disappeared up into the loft.
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