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 Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 6:15 am
  ❀ { Setting } ❀The two girls go out for a drink. A looooooooooong drink.
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 6:33 am
Today had been quite interesting. After Sara left Van she wandered straight back home to get changed, afterall she could not really go out looking like she had slaughtered a pig. Sara would never throw a vase again in her life, even if she did think the big oaf deserved it. She wondered back to the Imperial City, wearing clean clothes and carrying a large vase which she was going to gift Van. The girls had agreed to meet at the Inn and she had promised Van a drink, no doubt she had all sorts of questions to ask her. Though in truth, she did not know if it was a good idea to answer them.
Sara wondered into the bar section, Van was not too hard to find. Sat at the bar itself the raven haired Lunaria waited, Sara just hoped she had not kept her waiting too long. She wondered over, putting the vase on the table and sitting down on the stool next to the place where Van had seated herself, a small smile creeping onto her face. It was all she could do at the moment and besides, she was sure Van needed it more than anything else. "Hey there, I know its not as fancy as the other one but... I hope it will be a suitable replacement!" She stated in a somewhat optimistic tone. She just wanted to have some fun, it was not often that Sara lost her temper and at this point she wanted to forget she had.
Van must think she had gone insane, maybe she had spent so much time with the fighter the all famous 'Rwar Factor' was starting to rub off on her. Or maybe, just maybe, it was just a really bad reaction to what she thought was a bad situation. Afterall, Sara hated people saying bad things about her friends, even if it was coming from another one of them.
The bartender came over and poured the girls some drinks and for now Sara remained silent. The awkward silence finally kicking in.
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 11:43 am
Van had wasted no time in ordering a few drinks when she got to the bar, not even waiting for some hopeful male to send one her way. She knew what she wanted, and she wanted it now. The fighter had downed her first shots in seconds, and was now stirring the icy dregs of another drink with her straw as she waited for Sara to show up. There were so many things she wanted to forget—it was easier to forget, after all, than deal with the memories of what had just happened.
After Sara left Bataar in her care, she’d had to suck it up and comply with her friend’s request, if only for the sake of their friendship. That didn’t stop the fighter from leaving him just outside the doorway when she left, though, wrapped in his tiger fur rug and her purple sheets and blankets. There was no way she’d ever touch those again. There was still the colossal mess to contend with, both physically and mentally, but Van could only deal with one of those at the moment.
She looked up belatedly as someone seated herself next to her and placed something big on the table. “Hey,” she murmured in greeting. Then she saw the vase and her amethyst eyes widened a bit in surprise. “Oh! You really didn’t have to, you know.” It’d only been mere minutes since Van had started drinking—her mood was still as somber as it had been when she’d left her ger earlier that afternoon.
Hardly realizing the silence that had fallen on the two of them, so lost was she in her thoughts, Van took a sip of the drink that had just been poured for her. It went down smoothly, being a sort of girly drink. Somewhere in the back of her head her conscience was telling her to slow down, but she ignored the nagging. Turning instead to Sara, she gave the woman an intense look, not unlike the ones she used while interrogating her captives. Realizing then that it was only her friend Sara, she softened up, though it was obvious that she still expected answers.
“So, you and Bat, hm?” There was no point in dancing around the subject.
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:05 pm
Sara nodded her head and stood up, flipping a coin towards the small band in the corner. The men started to play and the Conduit knew that was enough to drown out the conversation to unwanted listeners. Her voice was quite and gentle as she moved closer to Van, maybe a little uncomfortably close. Her leg was touching the fighters and she could smell her perfume, Van always smelt so amazing.
"Not in the way you think." Sara began, running her finger along the rim of the glass she was given, pale eyes stared blankly into the liquid as it vibrated with the gentle whistling her fiddling was causing. After a moment she closed her eyes and thought hard about what she was going to say, she had noticed the look on her friends Face, she clearly wanted answers, but Sara was not too sure if she could give her ones that she would like to hear. "He is a Noble Captain Van, if he has done nothing else he had made sure to state that fact whenever possible." She admitted quite truthful, Bataar had been nothing but logical through this whole event, the conduit gave him that. Though he was also the spontaneous one, he was never afraid to let her know when he wanted her.
She picked up the glass and finally took a drink, half the liquid ran down her throat in one swig, the glass was quickly back on the bar. Though it was cold the aftertaste burnt her throat, Van was on strong spirits tonight. "It is complicated, too much so for my own liking. I do care for him, more so than I would admit to openly... I know it is wrong, that is why I have kept it secret, even from you." She had told herself that most days, every-time she kissed the Noble it was like another stab to her alliance. She knew full well that one day he would kill one of her friends, it might even be Van, though that seemed unlikely at the moment. Sara reached out and played with the other girls dark hair, in an attempt to make people around them think they were talking about happier things.
"I can share the story with you, if it please you." She added with a small smile, though it was clear in her eyes she was a little saddened,. Like vocalizing it suddenly made the reality hit her. "Though to sum it up in just a few words. It can not work and I am just having a hard time accepting it, sometimes your emotions are your own enemy and mine can not seem to let him go." She stated with a small sigh before reaching back for her drink.
It was going to be a long night.
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Posted: Thu Jan 05, 2012 2:04 am
Van didn’t flinch away from Sara as they touched. There was no reason to—even if Sara had been doing questionable things without telling Van about them, the soul conduit was Van’s friend first and foremost, not a Noble lover. She couldn’t be disgusted with her for the implications of a relationship with Bataar, for it would be a fair bit of hypocrisy for her to do so, but she was well within her rights to be disgusted with the fact that it was Bataar. The fighter could think of many things that would turn her off to someone like the captain, such as his extreme lack of hygiene and love of rats, but for Sara’s sake, Van would accept that they didn’t quite see eye to eye.
Still, Van took another swig from the rapidly emptying glass in front of her, preparing herself for the words that were to come. She said nothing when Sara told her it wasn’t what she thought it was—even Van wasn’t entirely sure what she thought. Lilac eyes fixed on the soul conduit’s face as the words continued to flow from her mouth. Sara’s story was beginning to sound oddly similar to one of her own.
And if there was one thing that Van had learned on that long-term undercover mission those weeks ago, it was that wrong and right were no longer as clear-cut to her as they had been before. Was it so wrong to love someone because he was a Noble? Or was it wrong that Van had continued to pursue it, even knowing fully well that it could never be? The fighter wanted to interject with advice based on her own experiences in the same way an older sister might, but this meant talking about them, talking about Raiden, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to do something like that so soon after the fact.
It was better to hope that Sara’s story didn’t have the same sad ending as Van’s, and so she nodded, indicating that she was listening intently. Reaching her hand up to catch Sara’s as it touched her hair, the woman squeezed it, trying to express that though she was still largely speechless, she would try her best to be supportive. Van’s eyes crinkled in something of a sad smile for reasons yet to be revealed, when the soul conduit offered to continue her story.
“Go on,” she urged, for the sake of her own curiosity and sanity, “It appears that we have much to catch up on.” There truly was, and it was evident as Sara prefaced her explanation with a summary. When Van heard it, she felt her world slow down. All of a sudden she could hear each and every dull, deliberate heartbeat as it thudded past her ears. Hearing this would be like re-living the ghosts of her past.
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Posted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:09 pm
"Well.." She began, in truth not too sure what to say, she did not expect Van to ask her for details. Sara thought for a moment and then opened her mouth in hope that words would come out, luckily enough something did. "I have known him for a long time, since I was a student. Just before..." She rested her hand on her face, in truth Bataar was one of the people who helped her get over the events with Cais. It seemed like such a long time ago now.
"So much has happened since then, I have fallen for him but he does not feel the same way about me, if he did then I doubt alliance keep keep us apart, afterall we have struggled so much already - he even killed a fellow Noble to save me Van, he has gone against his family for me. He plays with my hair and kisses so sweetly. I just can not seem to stay away, even now I am becoming a Priestess I still try to come up with ways to meet up with him."
It was then she realized that her other secret had escaped her. She had known for a few days that she was going to move up a rank, she wanted to surprise Van when they went to the hotbaths this weekend but now it was out in the open. "Oh, I did not mention that before... I am getting promoted. I am going on my Pilgrimage in about a month." The second big shock of the day, she was going away for a while, it seemed like nothing was going right at the moment. It was just too much... too soon. Sara signed and finished her drink, looking into her glass like it would give her the answers she so desperately needed.
"Can we have some more please." The conduit asked, a moment later the bartender left a large bottle of spiced wine between the two girls. Sara poured some in her friends glass, she would make sure it never stayed empty for long.
"You are not mad with me are you?"
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Posted: Fri Jan 13, 2012 3:31 am
Van was quiet as Sara began to speak again. She was fairly certain that Sara didn’t know that she’d also known the Noble captain since their early academy days, and that this probably predated whatever relationship the younger woman would have had with him. It was quickly becoming apparent that their relationships with the man were on polarizing ends of the spectrum, however. Bataar was not the same person to her as he was to her friend, that much was clear. It was impossible to figure out his motives with Sara as of yet, but Van was convinced he had them, just as she had her motives for moving into the Noble neighborhood.
She supposed that Sara was a much sweeter sort than she herself was (the events of the morning barred), but that couldn’t be the only reason she saw him differently. As the fighter listened and sipped her wine, she found herself unable to look at the other woman for disgust. Whether it was the alcohol or the subject matter, she couldn’t be sure, but she could feel her stomach churning uncomfortably, and her vision was beginning to blur a bit as she looked around.
Her earlier drinks in rapid succession were beginning to get to her. The woman struggled for words, trying to figure out a way to tell Sara that it was all a farce, that Bataar had to be trying to get something from her using the very same tactics that Van had used on Raiden. The fighter was more or less deadlocked in her opinion—all of the signs were there. Had she been less drunk, she might have remembered that Bataar was a terrible actor and wouldn’t have been able to pull something off the way she had, but at the moment these thoughts were far from mind.
“It’s not that it’s his alliance, it’s that it’s Bat,” she stated finally, making a somewhat sour face as she finished off the drink in front of her, “I’ve known him since we both started at the Academy.” She did not need to say that she didn’t like him; this much was evident from the annoyed look on her face as she recalled what had happened earlier today.
The change in subject was welcome, and Van easily gave into the distraction. Grinning a little more than was perhaps necessary, the fighter swiveled her head toward her friend again, her mood completely changed. “Congratulations. I knew you had it in you, darling—though when you come back, you can bet that I’ll be a captain!” Of this she was absolutely sure, considering the missions the Legion had in store for her... missions that Van had vowed to succeed in.
Her smile faltered a bit when the Soul Conduit asked whether she was mad. Her grip on her newly-filled glass tightened, so much so that her knuckles turned white. For a moment, Van had nothing to say. But she took a long swig from the cup, before finally shaking her head. “I’d be a hypocrite to be mad at you.” Sara wouldn’t understand what she was talking about, but the fighter was past the point of caring.
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Posted: Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:37 pm
"Thank you." Sara bowed her head slightly, reflecting on how much time had passed in what seemed like so little. She thought back to the day they both met up after their first promotion, Sara had helped her with her back injuries and the two spent the day soaking in warm water. That day was really a crossroads, the day the two girls became friends. Now they were getting promoted again and closer than they had ever been before. All she could think about is what his next chapter would bring and if they would still be as close at the end of it. Or if something would happen on the way to break them apart. Sara's friendship circle was forever changing, who knows who she would be close to this time next year. They might not even live along enough to see that time... nothing was certain, not anymore.
Sara held her glass tighter in her hand, she had noticed the looks she was getting and it made her feel rather uncomfortable.
Unsurprisingly Van seemed to have the same view point on Bataar that Huang did, and this fact did not inspire much confidence. Why did everyone she was close to seem to hate him? Was there really a side to him she was blind to? The captain was not too popular, that much was clear now. Sara hated keeping secrets, almost as much as she hated fighting but any hope she had of speaking freely to those close to her had just been destroyed. They could think what they wanted, she would have liked some approval or reassurance but not getting it was not going to change her mind on the matter.
Too much had happened for her to stop caring about him. Far too much.
Van's next words confused her. Sara tilted her head and looked over at the soon-to-be Captain, her eyes narrowing in her curiosity. "What do you mean a hypocrite?" She finally asked.
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Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 1:29 am
The fighter seemed to have forgotten that she was part of a conversation with one of her best friends, so absorbed had she become in her thoughts of what was supposed to be past. She placed both of her hands on her cheeks as she stared into her cup of dark wine, pushing them up in an otherwise rather comical manner, had it not been for the absolutely sad expression she wore on her face now. Usually, Van was much more careful about showing her true emotions, but the liquid courage she’d downed earlier had caught up to her.
Regulations stated that she was never supposed to disclose information on any of her missions, but the alcohol had loosened her tongue, and there was no stopping the flood of words that were bound to escape her now. “We were lovers, once, that Noble captain and I,” the woman murmured mournfully to herself, not realizing that Sara could easily misconstrue the identity of the man she was talking about, “What a wonderful year that was. The days we spent together... the nights... I miss those too, hmmmm...” Van trailed off, clearly lost in her thoughts. Her eyes had taken on a dreamy daze, and an unabashed smile had found its way across her face for a moment.
Van removed her hands from her face and placed one arm on the table, resting her head onto it as she continued to stare at her wine, the somber expression returning to her pale face. “He loved me.” She said nothing for a few moments, though her silence was punctuated by a hiccup or two. When she spoke again, her voice was so quiet that anyone would have had to strain to hear her. “But I tore his heart out. I stomped on it. Because... before we were lovers, I was a Legionnaire with an assignment.” There was a sort of horrorstruck awe in her voice, as if the words themselves were poisonous, now that they were out in the open.
For all of her feigned indifference, Van was not incapable of feeling guilt and regret. “I’m a... monster,” she whispered, pain streaking across her lovely face as she struggled to say the word. She no longer saw the wine glass in front of her. In her mind’s eye, all she could see was the expression of hurt on Raiden’s handsome face, when she told him she’d never loved him. In breaking his heart, she had broken her own—she didn’t have to say it for it to be obvious now.
No tears fell from Van’s amethyst eyes; she had cried herself out over this, ages ago. Instead, she merely folded her arms on the counter and buried her face from view. “I still see his blood-crimson eyes in my dreams,” she finally said, her voice muffled by the cloth of her dress. It was only now that it became apparent that the Noble captain she was pining for was not Bataar.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 4:53 pm
Sara bit her lip and fidgeted uncomfortably. She did not know what to think anymore. Though one thing had become clear to her, she had grown more attached to the Mongol than she originally thought. She did not want to think about him with other girls, she did not even think about him and herself either, the images were just too much for her to take at the moment. She did not know where their relationship was going, if it was going anywhere at all, but still something hurt from inside her chest. She knew he had loved before, he had loved Jianyu... he might have loved Van but she knew he did not love her, sometimes thinking that one could not love was easier than the idea of them not loving you because you were not good enough. Sara idolized and looked up to Van and whilst she listened, she knew that she was more desirable than she could ever be. Why wouldn't he love someone like her...
Though in a moment she snapped out of it, it seemed that Van was not talking about Bataar? Then who? She had never mentioned this Noble before. Sara looked at her curiously, eyebrows knitting as she tried to work out the puzzle that was being presented to her one piece at a time. Sara would of liked to think they told each other everything... though she soon realized that she kept secrets, so she should not be surprised if Van kept her own. Especially if it was one which made her suffer so. Sara wanted to mother her until she was better, the urge was too much for her to resist.
"Your not a monster Van." Sara fianlly let out, pale eyes looking down into her glass and the deep liquid inside of it. The conduit was no good at motivational speeches and she had no right to give anyone relationship advise. None the less, she knew there was something the soon to be captain needed to hear, and it as something that would come straight from her heart. "You hurt him, you hurt yourself an you are going to hurt for a long time. Though that pain, that pain that you are feeling right now, shows that you are not a monster. If you were you would not cry... if you were you would not hurt, if you were..." She clenched her first and grasped hold of her skirt. Sara had hurt, she had been hurt so many times by people who she loved, though she kept fighting and she knew if she could than so could Van. The conduit felt her eyes start to water slightly, green orbs sparkling in the candle lit room, though no tear was shed.
Sara put a hand under the other girls arm and lifted up her face. Long fingers whipped away the tears and cradled her cheek gently. It was more often than now Van whoplayed the older sister, however for now it was Sara's role. They had to be there for each other, afterall, who else did they really have? ."... I would not love you if you were. Van." Sara leaned forward and kissed the purple eyed girl on the cheek were her tears had streamed, her arms slipping around her to hold her closer. She hated seeing Van cry. She was always so strong, always, she wanted to make her feel better but she knew there was nothing she could do... the heart was a complex item, something that you would not manipulate and control to your will. The only person who could help Van now... was Van herself.
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Posted: Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:45 pm
For all of the time Van spent wallowing in her own misery, Sara’s sudden touch brought her back to the present. As the fighter turned to her friend, her eyes translucent lilac with unshed tears, she remembered again why they were here, what things still needed to be said. She straightened up suddenly, unaware of the soul conduit’s reassurance that she wasn’t a monster and forgetting Raiden for a moment, because there was one thing on her mind and that thing was going to be said right now, no holds barred.
She straightened up, trying to focus her eyes on Sara’s tanned face while the world spun around her. “Sara,” she said with as much intensity as she could muster, flinging one hand out to hold the other woman’s shoulder, “Listen to me. Consider… just consider for a moment, that you might not know everything about Bataar. That he might have secrets he hides even from you. He is a captain, Sara; it’s in his job description. Our profession demands masks and lies. My brother kept his true loyalties secret from our entire faction for years. It was my job to live undercover, to pry the secrets of my Noble targets while shielding my own. Even you, an innocent priestess-to-be, were capable of keeping this secret from your dearest friends, from me, so how much more so would a man who has broken families and slaughtered many be able to do the same? We all have untold stories.” The Legionnaire was too drunk to sweeten her words; no one had ever heard her say so much at once before, much less so directly.
The sober, wiser Van might have held it all in, or at least waited for a more opportune moment to tell Sara these things. She loved the other Lunarian like family, though she’d never said it before. Declarations of love in Van’s world were for the naïve or drunk, and she was certainly the former right now. Her other hand grasped the cup in front of her, and she slammed it down on the counter for emphasis. “He could be different. But all of those Nobles thought I was different, too. I thought we two would never have to reveal these things, and look where we are. I love you as a little sister, Sara. I’m just as guilty as all the others, because it’s my damn job—” another cup slam—“but if I ever see the same pain in your eyes as I saw in Raiden’s when I destroyed his trust, I think it would break me.”
Van didn’t realize that she’d namedropped her Noble prince, but upon its mention, she retreated back into her world of sadness. Breaking the gaze she held with Sara, she pulled her filled glass toward herself protectively, staring blankly at air. Her voice became a whisper once again. “I loved my brother Long more than I loved Raiden; that was the only reason I let him go. But even the strongest, purest love can be misplaced. The person I trusted the most in the world, forsook me, and I spurned the one who did love me for nothing. Just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they won’t break you, you realize. Even I found it in myself to destroy one whom I loved.”
The fighter was nearing the end of her rant. She stared ahead into the various bottles of liquor behind the counter now, their colors swirling into a rainbow blur in her amethyst eyes. “So love Bataar. Or don’t. Just don’t make my mistake. I’ll never forgive myself if you did. Raiden’ll never love me again, after what I did. My love for my brother was a lie. I have ******** nothing now. If you choose to hold on to love—right or wrong—don’t let go.” She slumped in her chair, hiccuping once. Van would not recall saying any of this later.
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Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 6:22 pm
Sara did not flinch as the soon-to-be captain put her hand on her shoulder. Though her eyes showed a slight nervousness. Her tone had changed, as did the air in the room, it was suddenly almost suffocating. The conduit did not know what her friend was going to say... but she braced for words she did not want to hear, maybe something inside her already knew them - and the only real fear was having to acknowledge it. To her great remorse, the words Van spoke were exactly what she was expecting and they hurt as much as she thought they would. Her eyes glimmered, not from tears but a sense of hopelessness. What if it was all a lie? What if all she felt and dreamed was an illusion that she had deluded herself into believing? She had fought on when her mind told her to turn away, she had so many warnings, so many chances to flee and yet she did not. All the signs suggested that she would never find peace as long as she loved him, though that one glimmer of hope kept her believing that one day, maybe, she could prove even the fates wrong.
A wise man once told her; there's no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul. Everything about her dysfunctional, yet strangely affectionate, relationship seemed condemned by the masses. His family hated her, her friends hated him, his teammates would never accept her and vise versa. However is she truely did feel this way about him... did any of that matter? Was a life of loneliness really more appealing than the risk of heartbreak? Maybe he would hurt her, it might be unintentional, it might be premeditated, yet it was a risk she was willing to take. She refused to go through life looking for the evil in people's hearts -unless he showed it to her- she would deny it was there. At least for now.
"I know." She muttered, holding onto her skirt tightly as she bit her lip. There was truth behind everything her friend said and there was nothing she could say to disprove any of it. For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible. If she truly felt this way, if the fighter truly believed that Bataar would hurt her then there was nothing Sara could say to make Van see the good person she did - the sweet heart that behemoth of a man. Van would never understand how she felt or what, in her heart, told her that even though she could not disprove her claims - her lack of evidence did not make them true. She finally looked back over at the girl, her voice strained and fading as it escaped her lips.
"I know. I know very little about him, he protects me from what he has done... what he is doing now. Though part of me wishes he wouldn't, I want to see him completely, understand and acknowledge all his is. In the end I might hate him, but only then will I know if I do.. if I do... I know you want to protect me but out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars. We both have our's Van and trying to prevent pain... you stop me from growing from getting stronger. This is my mistake to make and as my frie- as my best friend, you need to watch me make it an pick me up when I am down and understand that, I need to make it - because if I live asking myself what if, the scars will never heal... not like they would if it was an open wound, clean and explained. I am not asking you to understand, I would never ask the impossible of you..."
Sara cringed as she heard the cup hit the table, her mind swept to rest in nightmares that reoccurred. Nightmares of stabbing. The sharp pain she had come to know all too well, her hand raised to rest over the mark just above her heart. The sharp pain coming back, she did not even think the girl was talking to her anymore - she seemed to be venting her rage to herself, it was a destructive nature. A weakness that Sara never thought she would see in the woman who was always so strong. "Van..." The first time was soft, like a distant voice in the darkness, it was gentle and held all the loving the conduit usually showed the woman. However the next time was much sharper, her eyes shone with worry. The girl stood up and threw her cape around her friends shoulders, pulling her head to rest on her chest. She held onto the fighter like she would wither without her, Sara was trying to hold onto her friends sanity.. as if she could cradle and shield her from her remorse and her pain. If she could, she would take it all away, but she knew it was a suffering Van needed to experience - lessons were hard, most of the time unfair. Though this was one that needed to be learned and God, Van had learned it well.
She would never let go, she would never let go of her. She loved Van, she ******** loved everything about her. She would not let this tragedy be the death of her, she was not going to let it break that beautiful spirit she had come to admire. She might think she lost everything - but she still had her, if she did not realize that then Sara knew her words would not make her understand. She buried her nose in the girls thick black locks, feeling the warmth of her body. The moment anyone fell in love they became liars, as light can not exist without darkness, love could not exist without some kind of pain. Van's state was ripping Sara's heart out, she wanted to say so many things, so many things in hope that one would reach her, though for now her prayers and love would have to do. "That's enough, please, lets just go home... I just, want to go home." She did not want to see the Captain again tonight, not until she knew how to say she was sorry. All of her anger and frustration was unleashed on Bataar in a moment of madness, now all that was left was the knowledge that she never wanted to fight with him again. Van would stay with her tonight, for both their sakes.
Silently Sara made a promise, even though she could not physically hod onto Bataar like she could with Van, she would not let him go either. Her heart was with him now, and it would be until it stopped beating. Sara had spent her whole life thinking about death and about life. The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone. She would make sure that if the unthinkable happened, there would not be a word she had not said to him.
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Posted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:27 pm
“Just because it might make you stronger doesn’t mean you should go looking for it,” Van slurred, snapping out of her drunken sorrowful reverie for a moment at Sara’s words. “That is blind and belligerent. Goddess knows we suffer enough without bringing it on ourselves!” And for Van, this was true. How many times before had she seduced a Noble only to steal his valuable secrets or kill him? There had never been any doubts or regrets, not until, by some force outside of herself, she’d fallen in love. It was something she never would have chosen, regardless of whether she could have known that it would kill her this way.
Experience was the most brutal way to be taught about life, and while the smart learned from their own experiences, the wise learned from those of others. A sober Van would have wondered whether these warnings hadn’t been whispered into Sara’s ears by the spirits before. Surely enough of those followed her around that she would have hundreds of lifetimes to gain wisdom from. “It’s no use if it kills you in the end,” she finished bitterly.
Van shivered, tensing up as the soul conduit touched her. The fighter was extremely unhappy with the way things had turned out today, even though she wouldn’t remember any of it come the next day. And it was for the better—after finally speaking her mind about the things that she’d hidden for months, a year now, perhaps it would be easier to move on and finally close the book on the chapter of her fighter life that had wounded her so. Still, there was no saying when or if Van could ever love someone in the same way she’d loved Raiden, again.
Eventually, the fighter gave into her friend’s embrace, bowing her dark head in a defeated motion. Sliding her drink away from her at Sara's suggestion that they leave, she stumbled out of her seat, eventually finding both feet on the ground before walking towards the door. Van was hardly aware of her surroundings and obligations right now. She just wanted to go away, to sleep it off, and perhaps never wake up.
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