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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:03 pm
Ok, so Ive been in some relationships before, and in every single one, I end up hurt, because Ive choosen a Douche bag and Ive been thinking that if i cant break this habit, i will end up getting hurt even more and it might push me over the edge one day, so I would like to see what you guys have to say.
And srry for the terrible spelling X_X
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:27 pm
1- On a first date, watch how they treat the waitstaff. They want to impress you, so they'll be nice to you, but how they treat the waitstaff will tell you a lot about how they treat other people and eventually you.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:29 pm
Easy solution... Love yourself.
Seriously.
If you can't love [and understand] yourself enough, then you don't know what's best for you. Remember, although relationships are two-way, the most important aspect is you. What are YOUR needs and how does the other person compliment and/or supplement them? My suggestion is to take a breather from the dating scene for now. Focus more-so on you: what makes you happy. Once you've got a good grasp on that, go out an venture a bit more - take it one step at a time.
I hope I bolded you enough.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:26 pm
Rose Calvert Ok, so Ive been in some relationships before, and in every single one, I end up hurt, because Ive choosen a Douche bag and Ive been thinking that if i cant break this habit, i will end up getting hurt even more and it might push me over the edge one day, so I would like to see what you guys have to say. And srry for the terrible spelling X_X If you have good, trustworthy friends who love you, take your man to them. If they say he's a douche then listen to them. If they won't comment make them. You need to know. Another hint is don't go for the smooth talkers, make them work for your affections. Men are way too quick now days. Make 'em work for it hun. Because you are so worth every moment of it.
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Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 10:44 pm
Esiris 1- On a first date, watch how they treat the waitstaff. They want to impress you, so they'll be nice to you, but how they treat the waitstaff will tell you a lot about how they treat other people and eventually you. There is a reason I love you so. Good eye on people's behavior. Now Ms. Calvert dear, where are you looking for your dates? I never look in bars or loud parties, not the sort of folk I enjoy being with. Try looking in places you hang out around. I would hang around game shops, and electronic stores, as my eyes wander to the geeky.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:10 am
RosesandBlood Rose Calvert Ok, so Ive been in some relationships before, and in every single one, I end up hurt, because Ive choosen a Douche bag and Ive been thinking that if i cant break this habit, i will end up getting hurt even more and it might push me over the edge one day, so I would like to see what you guys have to say. And srry for the terrible spelling X_X If you have good, trustworthy friends who love you, take your man to them. If they say he's a douche then listen to them. If they won't comment make them. You need to know. Another hint is don't go for the smooth talkers, make them work for your affections. Men are way too quick now days. Make 'em work for it hun. Because you are so worth every moment of it. Thankyou. I feel that every time i Find someone, its either some guy that only wanted ... and the other guy was a long distance thing, and he hurt he even thought he said it in the nicest way possible. I think that I look for someone who is a Douche bag. I cant think of why that might be. byt I seem to be attracted to those kind of guys. I cant help it. but, anyway, on the the other hand, you are so right about talking tol your friends abt them. Because one of the guys his name which i wont disclose, was a total Douche. All my friends said so, and I never listened. so, of course, I go and meet him at the mall, we go and have lunch, and then we went to macy's and we did things.... (not anything to do with the sexual organs, but I knew he wanted to. ) and then he stops talking to me and he just disapeares form my life. It hurt me and I felt like such a stupid head. I was used and he didnt even care about my feelings. all he wanted was my c**k. and now, it has gottent to me. The full blown aspect of it. And it make me feel like s**t every time i think abt it. because this is something that i could have avoided. Srry for all that. I kinda got carried away. sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:21 am
Blackrose_Knight Esiris 1- On a first date, watch how they treat the waitstaff. They want to impress you, so they'll be nice to you, but how they treat the waitstaff will tell you a lot about how they treat other people and eventually you. There is a reason I love you so. Good eye on people's behavior. Now Ms. Calvert dear, where are you looking for your dates? I never look in bars or loud parties, not the sort of folk I enjoy being with. Try looking in places you hang out around. I would hang around game shops, and electronic stores, as my eyes wander to the geeky. I usually find them at school, or they find me at school.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:08 am
Aside from the waitstaff, it's been drilled into me that one should look at the parents. Not just how they treat them (I would never date anybody who showed disrespect to their parents.) But the parents own mannerisms. My nanny knew my grandads father very well, before any thought of his son came to mind. And he loved her mother. These two have been married for 53 years.
And then my mother hated my fathers mother. And she always says that she should have payed attention, because my dad beat us.
Pay attention to how they treat everybody, family especially.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 10:55 am
Rose Calvert I think that I look for someone who is a Douche bag. I cant think of why that might be. Most people I know IRL who are attracted to assholes are so because they think they can "save them" or "fix them". Sometimes people get hurt- like you said the LD relationship tried to be nice about the break up but it still hurt, but that's normal. Break ups hurt and if they try to be fair and nice about it, being hurt doesn't make the guy breaking up with you a douch. It sounds like some of the problem is the people you choose, but some of it is also unrealistic expectations- for yourself and for them.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:14 pm
Esiris Rose Calvert I think that I look for someone who is a Douche bag. I cant think of why that might be. Most people I know IRL who are attracted to assholes are so because they think they can "save them" or "fix them". Sometimes people get hurt- like you said the LD relationship tried to be nice about the break up but it still hurt, but that's normal. Break ups hurt and if they try to be fair and nice about it, being hurt doesn't make the guy breaking up with you a douch. It sounds like some of the problem is the people you choose, but some of it is also unrealistic expectations- for yourself and for them. The thing is that I dont know that they are a**-holes. and when I find out, its too late, and I dont ewant to change anyone, Thats not in my place to do so. And the guy who broke up with me isn't a Douche, its the way he did it. It was his 18th Birthday,and he went to a gay bar, and he even asked me if he could go. I said yes, and he went, then he didnt respond for 3 weeks, and when he did, he said he had a boyfriend, and that I lead him on, which was the complete opposite than what actually happened, and he broke up with me, he is a douche because, one, he lied, and even worse, lied to my face. HE broke up with me over a text msg. crying
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:23 pm
lgtenos Easy solution... Love yourself. Seriously. If you can't love [and understand] yourself enough, then you don't know what's best for you. Remember, although relationships are two-way, the most important aspect is you. What are YOUR needs and how does the other person compliment and/or supplement them? My suggestion is to take a breather from the dating scene for now. Focus more-so on you: what makes you happy. Once you've got a good grasp on that, go out an venture a bit more - take it one step at a time. I hope I bolded you enough. I agree!
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:26 pm
lgtenos Easy solution... Love yourself. Seriously. If you can't love [and understand] yourself enough, then you don't know what's best for you. Remember, although relationships are two-way, the most important aspect is you. What are YOUR needs and how does the other person compliment and/or supplement them? My suggestion is to take a breather from the dating scene for now. Focus more-so on you: what makes you happy. Once you've got a good grasp on that, go out an venture a bit more - take it one step at a time. I hope I bolded you enough. yes, I think you have. :p
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:37 pm
There's watch how they treat other people, there's be confident, there's listen to your friends and family- I agree with them all...
I'd also recommend not falling into the trap of thinking you need a boyfriend- it makes you a sucker. You don't need a person in your life if they're hurting you. The same way you wouldn't need friends who hurt you.
The gay guy... well, that was a fluke, most likely, and it's no use getting heartbroken. He probably doesn't feel too good about it and was shy about telling you to your face. You did the right thing letting him go and he did the wrong thing not keeping you posted, but it was probably as nervewracking for him as it was for you.
But it doesn't really seem to me like you have a huge problem that needs fixing- you've just had a little bad luck with men. You'll find the right guy eventually, and you actually seem okay at getting rid of the bad jobs when they start being jerky, so my only advice is- don't get pregnant unless you're REALLY sure.
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:51 pm
Rose Calvert The thing is that I dont know that they are a**-holes. and when I find out, its too late How is it too late? Quote: And the guy who broke up with me isn't a Douche, its the way he did it. It was his 18th Birthday,and he went to a gay bar, and he even asked me if he could go. I said yes, and he went, then he didnt respond for 3 weeks, and when he did, he said he had a boyfriend, and that I lead him on, which was the complete opposite than what actually happened, and he broke up with me, he is a douche because, one, he lied, and even worse, lied to my face. HE broke up with me over a text msg. crying It sounds like you're not able to see things from other people's perspective- like if he feels you lead him on, why is it so hard for you to see how that might have been possible for him to feel that way?
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:53 pm
maybe stop dating for a while, it seems your depressing yourself over it and that shouldnt happen. dating should be a fun way for you to get to know people who you may fall in love with or have a good time with. you dont need to be dating someone to be happy.
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