- Amicae: Latin for "friends."
Pernoa A slight rearrangement from "persona," in the context of a front or face presented to others.
Blood Color: Yellowblood - #C3B400 (Hue: 55, Bright: 76, Sat: 100)
Gender Male
Symbol
Personality:
- Amicae is a bit of an odd troll; he seems to be friendly - downright reconciliatory in fact. On the whole, he has a tendency to be less-than-violent when he can help it, and almost comes off as passive.
He isn't, but he doesn't mind that others think that way about him.
Amicae has an invested interest in learning about other trolls. He's on the weak, physically, but he's intelligent and somewhat conniving. He presents himself as a non threat to those he meets, observing and learning their habits and mannerisms to best position himself as some form of friend or ally. Whether he truly is a friend of course depends on the troll in question - but he has far more "fake" friends than real ones, though they'd never know it.
Why go through the trouble? The hemospectrum, his own physical frailty, and a healthy dose of the fear of death and his own kind.
Amicae's first moments alive were characterized by the pleasant sensation of being forced into fresh air, the feel of his egg spilling open and the wonderful sound of crunching; he was born slightly early - enough to rob his grubby self of the ability to finish soaking up the nutrients it should have before birth, at least. By all rights, surviving those crucial first moments was actually a large stroke of luck, as the large indigo grub chewing on the remains of his egg could have easily bitten him instead - and could have also likely eaten him if it wasn't so busy slurping up slime. Similarly, crawling through the caverns and not being crushed, eaten, mauled, or otherwise fatally injured was also a fortunous occurance, as being weakened from a just under-developed body and not finishing the entirety of his egg sac left a grub whose main advantages were the ability to wriggle into little holes and hide and a relatively quick mind for his age. Likewise, completing the trials and escaping the caverns entirely was a bit of a stroke of luck for the young wiggler; while obviously not so weak that he couldn't move around, he would still be generally considered "less than prime" material for average troll expectations. Alas for physical superiority, the already-nervous little troll did manage to escape, though perhaps often to the detriment of those around him. If facing off some sort of beast, for example - why risk himself when it was much easier to attract attention to the wigglers around himself, then slip away unnoticed (or, at least, unmauled)?
After his escape, his sole reason for survival was the concentrated effort of his lusus - after finding and choosing him as her charge, she kept him hidden within an underground hive of tunnels and silky nests, bringing him food and keeping him safe while he grew. For the first few sweeps of his life, Amicae knew nothing of other trolls beyond an occasional drone, droid, or mutilated orange or red corpse his lusus dragged home for her own dinner that night. Unfortunately, while sneakmom was capable of keeping him fed, this seclusion did little to help him develop proper muscles, or learn how to interact with his own kind properly. Accordingly, other trolls were, for the most part, creatures to be feared and avoided - of course, most creatures were, as sneakmom was a bit ... overprotective.
Even as he aged and was finally allowed to explore the world around him, he continued to rely on her for food and protection; she taught him the best ways she knew to survive - to hide, to slip away into shadows, and when absolutely necessary, to roll over and purr until the attacker was placated. This hide-and-dart teaching burrowed firmly into his mind and, consequently, into his social behaviors. As he began to encounter other trolls, he would discover that similar tactics were necessary - and often effective - to keep him alive from his own kind as well as the roaming beasts that might seek to slaughter him. Sneakmom, firmly believing that all creatures were potentially dangerous, unfortunately encouraged these less-than-friendly actions. Amicae's fear of death and of his own, unfamiliar, race led to the quick development of easily followable stereotypes and reactions: lower-bloods were creatures to use as bait or scapegoats; middle-bloods were accessible for protection and wealth; and higher-bloods were creatures either to be feared as being capable of killing him for little reason, or alternatively for being nudged for greater protection and wealth. The ideas of gaining things came later in his development, but still wound back around to the same ends - keeping him healthy and alive in various ways.
The only truly "healthy" activity he indulged in, physically, is FLARPing. He became interested in the sport/game as an easier method of acquiring gear and weaponry - as while he might have never wanted to fight, life in a violent race will have a tendency to force that option as the only one at times. It also offered a relieving escape, allowing him to take on different roles and ideas towards other trolls than the fitfully defensive or manipulative ones presented on an average day.
Amicae's goals in life are often fairly simple; he puts enough planning effort towards just making it through each day, so he doesn't consider too much in the way of large, elaborate achievements. His main goal of course is to live his lifespan to its entire length. Any other ideas, besides possibly moving into a nicer home, tend to revolve around either FLARPing - as it's a nice escape from the tedium of trying to sort out how to deal with everyday life (and he loves taking on the persona of Shielder Goldwind) - or how he's going to deal with a specific troll the next time he sees them.
A lot of his time is dedicated to that, actually. Seeing as how he'd rather avoid any sort of military, ah, employment, Amicae has already begun training and offering services as, for lack of a better word, an emotional prostitute. He offers himself to others that just can't make specific connections in their quadrants, but feel as though they need them badly. Though currently more practice than profession, he is most comfortable alternating between tempoirail and therauspitice. While some trolls might offer there services for redder or blacker temporary relationships, he finds it much easier to operate in a less-dedicated sort of fashion. It always seems easier for others to let go and not try a permanent relationship (which would hardly keep him alive or feed him, now would it?).
When Amicae does have free time and isn't scheduled for any meetings or FLARP sessions, he enjoys spending time with his lusus. While other trolls may become less attached or at least less dependant on their lusii as they grow, he has only become fonder of her continued dedication to him. The play is good exercise for him, anyway, though he does tend to get bruised up a bit - his lusus' play is near identical to hunting, except without claw or fang, so it can still get rough at times.
Other than that, the rest of his precious little free time is spent reading. Psychology books are a mainstay, as anything he can learn to help his work is beneficial, but he also has a bit of a soft spot for adventure novels; he wishes he was capable of going off on grandiose journeys to far off wild places. Every now and then a romance book can be seen in his piles of literature, but he's quick to play it off as simply wanting to brush up on his current skills.
Amicae is very centered on his actions and day to day events; his "actual" personality is sheltered by so many goings on that sometimes he feels as though he doesn't even know what his "real" personality is. When he has a moment to remember, he's generally a rather quiet troll. He doesn't actually enjoy social interaction very much, and internally it makes him uncomfortable working with trolls he doesn't know well - yet unfortunately it comes easily enough for him to work towards his desired profession. He knows some part of him dislikes the idea of having a relatively low social status simply because of blood, but the rest of him is scared enough to crush any seed of rebellion that might try and sprout in his mind. He's a scared, lonely creature who has a bit too much insight into the vast possibilities of death before him - first at the predators lurking in the wilderness, and, as he grew older, at his own kind and their vicious nature. This fear of death, of ceasing to exist, is sadly at the core of many of Amicae's feelings and thoughts - so he is ultimately consumed and driven into trying his best to avoid it entirely. It drives him to find a "safe" place in life, to work towards "safe" relationships, and to avoid any true connection with others - as he's not sure if he could survive losing them.
His experiences as a weak grub left him mentally cracked, and as such he actually hasn't had much time to develop a stronger "real" personality - most of what he allows others to see is a very carefully crafted persona. Even when he's having "fun," some part of him is always jumpy and worried about something coming out of the woodwork to eat or cull him.
Strengths:
Intelligent: Amicae's mind is sharp and active. Where other trolls might hone their bodies and their physical skills, young Amicae tends to stay inside and study or read whenever possible. He loves learning new things, and he greedily eats it up when he's given the opportunity too. He learns and adapts quickly, and he relies on intellect to solve problems if it's at all an option.
Meticulous: Amicae is nearly constantly thinking about something he needs to do or has done and could do better. His actions are guarded, and even his words are generally planned out to some degree. He considers and prepares for any eventuality that springs to mind, whether it be creating a FLARP scenario, seeing a client, or just meeting new trolls - Amicae has a word and an action ready, constantly.
Understanding: Whether naturally or simply learned over trial and error, Amicae has a naturally understanding nature. Even if a view doesn't coincide with his own, he is generally able to at least reason and gather how the other feels in and because of a situation. This is often useful in calming and comforting other trolls he encounters.
Creative: Amicae has a very open and flexible view on situations. He tries not to box himself into standard practice if there is an easier or better solution - being so low on the hemospectrum presents plenty of opportunities to die, after all, and since he'd rather not do that he's become quite resourceful over time. Note this is life / general creativity, and not artistic creativity. Amicae doesn't have a drop of artistic blood in his body.
Flaws:
Frail: While he might be fast, Amicae is also weak. While no longer so sickly he can't go outside, he is on the low end of physical strength; it would be very unusual for him to overpower another troll in straight on combat. It also causes him to rely on his lusus' aid for hunting large creatures or for moving large pieces of his hive or furniture about.
Shielded: While Amicae is everyone's "friend," he is very rarely open about his true feelings. He spends much of his time around higher trolls scared that he's going to do something wrong, and he rarely has time outside of work to deal with others closer to his own hue. This fear and work dedication has caused him to build up and hide his own feelings over time, making it very difficult for him to open up and actually forge any real relationships.
Anxious: Amicae doesn't hate the hemospectrum - it's a part of life, plain and simple - but he is very aware of it. He is also very aware that he is always one step away from death, or worse. As far as he's concerned, his current job is better than military service or physical drudgery, but it's still quite dangerous and he knows about it. This constant lurking fear of death has left him internally very anxious, though he tries very hard not to show it in his daily life.
Supplicant: Amicae's job is to make people feel better - whether it's calming them and keeping their sparking black feelings from blooming, or keeping someone from going on a murderous rampage, ultimately he's in the business of calming down other trolls. Unfortunately, being that he's working in false / paid relationships, often times that means rolling over and telling his client (or his client's target, as most trolls don't seem to pay for their own temporary quadrants) exactly what they want to hear at that moment in time. Doing this so often has consequenses though - namely, he finds it difficult to speak his own mind in private, more often than not simply slipping into the habit of saying what he thinks is "best" in a conversation.
Weapon Amicae uses a spiked shield, like his idol and FLARPing namesake, Shielder Goldwind. In direct combat it's not useful for much but running away, but it's excellent for crushing an enemy in a trap - just hide, jump down, and slam it on their head! Good times.
Appearance
Facial structure.*
Amicae dresses in the nicest clothes he can find when he's out and about - a good chunk of anything he earns goes to dressing nicely, as a good appearance is key when finding new clients! While he isn't much for accessories, he always makes sure to fix his hair nicely and he's fond of layers - vests with long sleeved shirts, scarves or mantles, and the like. While he does display his symbol and color, he does so as discreetly as possible, and never buys anything with more of his color than absolutely necessary.
When he's at home, Amicae rarely wears more than a set of loose, beat up pajama style pants. Occasionally a plain black shirt with his sign but rarely even that.
*Designed as an older face, I understand if the kid stage wouldn't have all of the hair. Most of this profile was designed from older-teen / adult age Amicae. XD
Home: Plains. (Slightly outside of the main city in an underground hive.)
Lusus
Sneakmom is an interesting lusus. While she only comes up to about knee height on young Amicae, she's fairly smart and capable. She appears to be a pouncebeast at first glance, but further investigation reveals several spindly, spiderlike legs and multiple eyes. She lives in a makeshift burrow made of pillows and webbing inside of his hive, as she can't very well watch over him if she's in a burrow outside.
(Cat / Trapdoor spider mix.)
