squad 9 Lt. Kuroi Kiba (awaiting approvel) | Page 1 | Archives | Guild Forums

Hex void dragon

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Posted: Tue Dec 20, 2011 1:48 pm

Gaia Username: Hex Void Dragon

Name: Kuroi kiba (black fang)
Race: shinigami
Gender: Male
Birth Date: 10/31
Age: 30
Blood Type: unknown

Appearance: User Image

Height: 6.3
Weight: 200
Eye Color: red
Hair Color: brown
Tattoos or Scars: scar over left eye

Kido: Bakudo 63: Sajō Sabaku and Hado 58: tenran
Shunpo Level: expert
Hakuda: expert

Zanpakuto Name: Anubisu no senshi
Zanpakuto Appearance: User Image

Shikai Incantation: Awaken as the full moon rises
Shikai Appearance: User Image

Shikai Abilities: When a blade of Anubisu no senshi is swung it manifest a tangible wolf spirit that attacks who ever it is fighting and disappears upon biting flesh or upon being dealt massive damage, the wolfs can also be used for other uses as in scouting up to twenty can be made and each wolf is a spiritual manifest from ever wolf his wolf pack. A full body transformation accurse upon releasing Anubisu no senshi, and Kuroi gains a heightened sense of hearing and smell, and a boost in speed.

Personality: serious
Personal Likes: doing something
Personal Dislikes: doing nothing
History: as a boy Kuroi always loved wolfs so when got older he took care of them. Kuroi had a natural bound with wolfs so no matter how many time he walked in to a wolf pack he was always welcomed as if he were part of the wolf pack, one day he went to bring the wolf pack some raw steaks and found a poacher aiming at the pack he tackled the poacher and was shot in the process the pack heard the shot and smelled Kuroi’s blood they rushed to him and attacked and killed the poacher, but it was to late for Kuroi he had already lost to much blood the pack took him to the nest and lied down next to him as he breathed his last breath the last thing he saw was the full moon and the leader of the pack howl at it mourning his death Kuroi died happy. As Kuroi ascended to the spirit world he did so through wolf ascension so he lived with the spirits of wolves in the wastelands until the pack came upon the underground ever since then Kuroi and the pack work for the underground. Kuroi worked his way up to Lt. quickly using the wolfs of the to help him along but they will only do what Kuroi and Captain Tandoku strangely Kuroi thinks it an alpha male thing.

Family Line: A pack of timber wolfs
Friends: Captain Tandoku
Rivals/Enemies: cats
Love Interest: caring and protecting his wolf pack

Affiliation: Underground
Squad: 9
Rank: Lt.

Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:15 pm

This is OriSODEhime, Vice Captain of this guild. TwiDawnLight asked me to judge this profile for you.

Several Things:
1. The name could be a little more original, but that's just me talkin'.
2. For god's sake man. USE THE FREAKING GUILD'S PROFILE SKELETON. The one you used is the OLD one.
3. The pictures are nice, but could be smaller if possible.
4. Technically, the picture you have under "Shikai Appearance" (unless I'm wrong) is what would be considered a zanpakuto spirit. Either that, or a better picture of the zanpakuto's shikai is needed.
5. The shikai ability is bit unclear. Please re-word.
6. Oh god lord, PLEASE use proper spelling and grammar. I took the privilege of rewriting your character's history correctly.
"As a boy, Kuroi always loved wolves, and took care of them when he grew older. He had a natural bound with wolves, so no matter how many times he walked in to a wolf pack, he was always welcomed as if he were part of the pack. One day he went to bring them some raw meat, Kuroi found a poacher aiming at the pack. He tackled the poacher and was shot in the process. The pack heard the shot and could smell his blood; they rushed to him and attacked the poacher, thus killing him, but it was to late for Kuroi. He had already lost to much blood. As a result, the pack took him to the nest and lied down next to him as he breathed his last breath. The last thing he saw was the full moon and the leader of the pack howl at it, mourning his death.
As Kuroi ascended to the spirit world, he did so through wolf ascension and lived with the spirits of wolves in the Wastelands until the pack came upon the Underground. Ever since then, Kuroi and the pack work for the Underground. He quickly worked his way up to Lt., using the wolves of the to help him along, but they would only do what Kuroi and Captain Tandoku demanded. Strangely Kuroi thinks it to be as though it were an alpha male thing."

OriS0DEhime
Vice Captain

Gracious Raider

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TwiDawnLight
Captain

High-functioning Bibliophile

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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2012 6:40 pm

Alright I'm here to help the judging as well. ^^
First and foremost, your shikai.
I believe we discussed the shikai before, however...
-Your description is not completely clear on the shikai.
-You need to specify how much damage a wolf can take. Massive damage isn't a description.
-Twenty wolves seems a bit much... perhaps cutting the numbers in half? However if you can work out the description a bit more then perhaps twenty will be okay.

That's all i can think of right now. Please correct this! ^^

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:51 am

OriSODEhime

2. For god's sake man. USE THE FREAKING GUILD'S PROFILE SKELETON. The one you used is the OLD one.

When I posted there was only that skelaton so I'll redo it if that is whqt you want. (for below) thank you alot of this was done by Maru

6. Oh god lord, PLEASE use proper spelling and grammar. I took the privilege of rewriting your character's history correctly.
"As a boy, Kuroi always loved wolves, and took care of them when he grew older. He had a natural bound with wolves, so no matter how many times he walked in to a wolf pack, he was always welcomed as if he were part of the pack. One day he went to bring them some raw meat, Kuroi found a poacher aiming at the pack. He tackled the poacher and was shot in the process. The pack heard the shot and could smell his blood; they rushed to him and attacked the poacher, thus killing him, but it was to late for Kuroi. He had already lost to much blood. As a result, the pack took him to the nest and lied down next to him as he breathed his last breath. The last thing he saw was the full moon and the leader of the pack howl at it, mourning his death.
As Kuroi ascended to the spirit world, he did so through wolf ascension and lived with the spirits of wolves in the Wastelands until the pack came upon the Underground. Ever since then, Kuroi and the pack work for the Underground. He quickly worked his way up to Lt., using the wolves of the to help him along, but they would only do what Kuroi and Captain Tandoku demanded. Strangely Kuroi thinks it to be as though it were an alpha male thing."

Hex void dragon

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