[PRP] Three Drunk Idiots [Juno // Zone // Hack]

[Shnazz]

It had been perhaps the longest night out Juno had had in a while, let alone with his best friend BB. After having their hero escapades and running into androids and Mr. Good Vibes, Juno and BB had perhaps a little too much to drink.

Considering their current state, there was no way BB would make it back to SA in one piece. Which then lead Juno into remembering the fact that he was crashing at Hack's place for a while. Which was in Ronth.

How convenient.

So after drunkily remembering this minor detail of where he was staying, Juno and BB staggered their way up to Hack's tiny apartment by the food streets in Ronth. After a couple of wrong turns and a lot of roundabouts, Juno finally remembered where it was. And of course, he couldn't come home without something in hand. He bought a little more liquor to share with his other best friend Hack. Five bottles to be precise, some vodka some soju and some of that minty shot stuff.

While tipsily crawling up the few flight of stairs with his arm around Zone's shoulders, Juno turned to his friend and giggled. "Ssssshhhhhhhhh, I think Hack's sleeping."

Which would be a given since it was at least 3AM. Juno tripped over the top step and stumbled his way over to the apartment door. Face red from all the alcohol, the trademark Tasean glow. Fumbling around in his pockets, he finally managed to find the key in his front right pocket after trying all his other pockets with no luck. Once he crammed the key into the hole relentlessly, he turned it along with the knob. As he was leaning all his weight against the door, it flew open immediately which threw him onto the floor with a loud thunk and clank, the bag of alcohol slumped next to him.

Juno snickered at this noise. "Ssssshhhhhh..." He said again to BB, with a single finger across his lips in the 'be quiet' sign. With all the alcohol he'd consumed, the pains and aches he felt before were simply a far off feeling. He felt wide awake and energetic and happy.  

[Rika Mayumi]

Having his hands injured, Zone's both hands were bandaged and taped tightly. It was troublesome though, patching up his bloody acidic hands. Still he managed to have a drink with Juno. And drank quite a lot now that they were both drunk.

"Junooooo, you're so drunk alreaaady! Look you're mistaking the floor for a girl and kissing it. Hahaha" he drunkenly said when he saw Juno tripped and stumbled over.

"Where're are we anyway?" he forgotten that Juno just said Hack's sleeping. Means that this is Hack's apartment. Well, he asked the same question over and over again actually. Just like a drunk person would.

Juno signaled him to keep quiet. For a usually quiet person, "Hah! What? What are you shhhhh-shhh-shhh-ing for?" he imitated Juno's gesture by placing his finger across his lips too. And he was too loud.

"That, that black eye's getting worse, where's the fridge" he staggered walked of to who knows where he was going to. "Fridge!"  

[mori-zae]

===

Hack had been asleep, dreaming about his father baking cream pies when a CLANG stirred him from his wonderful dream. He groaned and turned over, mumbling nonsense about pies...

"Ssssshhhhhh..."

"Hah! What? What are you shhhhh-shhh-shhh-ing for?"

He sat bolt upright, suddenly alert. There were... people in his apartment. Thieves? Burglars? Wiping the bleariness from his eyes, he quietly pushed the covers off and crept towards the couch and took cover behind it. It was too dark to make out the identities of the shadowy figures, so he sat there in perfect silence, listening, trying to decide what his next course of action should be.

A soft "mrow" and a pat on his leg distracted him. The small grey cat he'd come to be rather fond of was sitting at his foot, looking at him reproachfully, as if asking "why did you let these noisy guys in?"

"Dude I know right, its bloody 3 am and I was having such a good dream," he whispered back. "Hey, if you could cough out a hairball now, that'd be really great."

Dusty only meowed again and began washing her face with a paw. Hack rolled his eyes, cats.

"That, that black eye's getting worse, where's the fridge. Fridge!"

Hack almost squawked out loud. HELL NO NOT HIS FRIDGE. He immediately sprang into action, grabbed Dusty by the scruff - the cat yowling in protest as he did so - whipped around to hit the switch for the lights and brandished the cat in the general direction of the bandits. He blinked rapidly as his eyes were blinded by the sudden light.

"Freeze! Or I'll set my cat on you!" he yelled as he squinted in the brightness. Funny, those two looked rather familiar...

===
 

[Shnazz]

Juno slowly and unskillfully got back onto his feet but almost fell over again from the weight of the liquor in hand.

"I'm drunk?? You're drunk... You can't even remember where we are...." Juno looked around, squinting. "Wait... Where are we..." He started snickering while leaning against the ouch close by, head moving side to side trying to analyze the surrounding area.

"What black eye! I don't have a black eye." Juno said laughing. "You're silly BB. Wait, wait for me! Let me help you find it." He dropped the bag of liquor with a loud clatter and tottered over to where BB was walking to, luckily enough it seemed to be the kitchen. Where the fridge should be.... Right?

Wait. What's that bright light? What's that fuzzy thing?? What's going on?
"Oooiiii... Turn off the lights will you??" Juno shielded the bright light with his hand while trying to determine who it was that had caught him and BB.

That voice sounded familiar... Hm.

"Is... Is that you Hack...? What're you doing here?" A look of mild surprise was on his face with a hint of happiness from seeing his friend. And then revelation hit him. "OH YEAH. You live here!" He practically yelled and broke into laughter, taking a swipe at BB's back lazily but missing from his drunken haze. "BB, look look, it's Hack! With a fuzzy pillow...."

Juno grinned goofily and went up to Dusty and rubbed his face against her face in a very catlike manner. "Soooooft...."  

[Rika Mayumi]

mori-zae

"You're silly BB. Wait, wait for me! Let me help you find it."

"Find what? Oh yeah the fridge! ...for what again?" then the lights was turned on.

"Freeze! Or I'll set my cat on you!"

"The light hurts! Darn it." Zone immediately scrunched, shuts his eyes and massages between his eye sockets. While his other hand was spread out feeling the surroundings because he doesn't want to hurt them eyeballs again.

He can hear Juno babble,
"BB, look look, it's Hack! With a fuzzy pillow...."

He bumped on a table, and some things he doesn't care or want to know and just face where the voices were coming from.
And he peeked, his eyes were still blurry.

"That's not a pillow, beanpole," he squinted his eyes, moved closer trying to focus on what Juno's face was rubbing into. "That's a rag I think. How horrible Hack. It's dirty."  

[mori-zae]

===

The man heard collective groans about "lights" and "too bright". A split second later, he recognized the two men in his room.

"Is... Is that you Hack...? What're you doing here? OH YEAH. You live here!"

Two very drunk men, to be precise.

"BB, look look, it's Hack! With a fuzzy pillow...."

"That's not a pillow, beanpole. That's a rag I think. How horrible Hack. It's dirty."

"You -- my -- wha --" he blurted intelligently, still trying to grasp the situation as BB banged against furniture and Juno rubbed his face against Dusty. The cat batted at Juno with an annoyed "mreow" and wiggled like a worm. Hack pulled her away and set her down on the sofa, grabbed Juno by the collar and began slapping him lightly on the cheek.

"Oi, get to your senses man, and explain what -- augh," he recoiled at the smell of alcohol that wafted from his friend. Getting drunk was nice, but being the sober one while everyone else was drunk was different. And how the hell did they even manage to find their way here in this state! Most puzzling.

And then he spotted a bag of things, and a gaping doorway. Tch, no need for extra bandits tonight; two drunk dudes were enough. He dropped Juno, stepped around a precariously swaying BB, and shut the door, picking up the bag as he went. Whatever was inside clanged merrily, and Hack peered inside for a look.

More alcohol.

"So..."

He turned around slowly. A wide grin split across his face as he jangled the cans in their bag.

"Drinking game?"

On the couch, Dusty "mrowed" in disapproval.

===



((LOL UH WHAT DO NOW GUYS..............?))  

[Shnazz]

"That's not a pillow, beanpole. That's a rag I think. How horrible Hack. It's dirty."

"A rag....? But it's hitting me in the face.... Hm...." Juno stared blankly at the two round eyes looking back at him until something grabbed him by the collar and someone was slapping him.

"Ow ow ow! What're you doing?" Juno pleaded with a sad face, breathing alcohol smell all over Hack.

"Oi, get to your senses man, and explain what -- augh,"

Juno stumbled backwards as he was abandoned for the bags by the door. The front door closed. And Juno looked up to see Hack again.
"Oh yeah! I brought you a present Hack Deeeeaaaar." Juno laughed and waved his hand as if this were a perfectly normal gift to bring home.

"Drinking game?"

"Why yes of course, wife dear." Juno slumped over to Hack and wrung a lazy arm around Hack's neck and snuggled him, head against Hack's, smiling toothily in his drunken haze. "I hope I brought you home enough."

"Let's sit on the couch!" He declared, pointing a finger with conviction toward the ceiling and fell backward over the backside of the couch and onto a cushion thank goodness. "BB, BB, where are youuuuuuu!" Juno called in sing-song voice. "Get over here!"

((LOL. Yes, drinking game. |: We need a drunk-Hack.))  

[Rika Mayumi]

mori-zae

"Ow ow ow! What're you doing?"

"Ey, Hack don't--hick--hit him--hic--like girl!" Zone clenched his fist up and showed it to them while he swayed to the side, and he pointed out to his fist, he didn't care though if no one had payed him any attention, he didn't knew "Like this, not an open palm--" and he opened his hand and pressed his mouth tightly with his open palm and crouched down, indicating to puke but he held it back. "Ugh, man...I had enough of alcohol..." he muttered and swayed to the opposite side as he stood back up again.

Hack passed him and got to the bags of alcohol that Juno brought in.

"Drinking game?"
"Why yes of course, wife dear...I hope I brought you home enough."

"You guys still want to drink?" he said as he steadied himself to a wobbly shelf, a few of Hack's things tumbled down. Zone didn't noticed, "Oh yeah, you woman, need to drink" he pointed to Hack with a wide grin, referring to Juno's wifey commentary.

"BB, BB, where are youuuuuuu!" Juno called in sing-song voice. "Get over here!"

"Geez man, you're beat--hic!--" and he staggeringly walked over to the opposite couch facing Juno and slumped himself across facing down, to a nice comfy leather. He turned to his back, and threw a cushion towards Juno, it missed and hit a CD rack instead. "I'm here! Steam Ship! Quit calling me BB, you beanpole!" he shouted and sprung back up again and hit his hand to the coffee table several times. "Where's the beer!"  

[mori-zae]

===

"Why yes of course, wife dear."

Hack made a face and uttered a short "blegh" when drunk-Juno-with-not-so-good-breath snuggled against him. "Wife dear"??? They must be REALLY drunk. He pushed his friend's face away none too gently and held his nose with the other.

"Oh man just... don't get so close to me til I -- HOLYGOD DON'T THROW UP THERE!" Hack shrieked in alarm when the shorter man heaved. He sighed in relief when nothing was regurgitated. Great, no damage done...

until BB banged into a shelf. Hack winced as things came tumbling down with loud clatters. His room was already pretty messy to begin with, but he really didn't need someone creating extra messes... well that could wait til morning. Right now, he needed to get some of that good stuff in his stomach.

"Oh yeah, you woman, need to drink"

"Ha. Ha. Funny," Hack deadpanned as he set the bag of alcohol on the coffee table in the middle of the room and rooted around for a bottle. He uncapped one and took a long swig, draining almost a quarter of it in one shot before he released a satisfied ahhh and a loud burp.

There was a very angry yowl as BB flopped into one of the couches, and a grey cat sprang out from underneath the man just before he could sit on her. She landed on the armrest of another chair, back arched and fur standing on end as she hissed at him.

"Heh, careful Dusty, they're kinda drunk," Hack said, already slightly tipsy as he dropped into the chair heavily. While BB hurled strange names and badly aimed cushions at Juno, the cat next to Hack mrowed, batted him in the face reproachfully and leapt through a window and out the room. A room of drunks was no place for a cat.

"Where's the beer!"

"S'on the table bro," Hack slurred, in case short stuff had somehow missed it, and drained another quarter of his bottle. Ah... good stuff. He blinked lazily in satisfaction.

"Attention... ladies!" he shouted with a wave of his bottle. "We're playing... uh, ever have I never!" he declared with a giggle. He pointed unsteadily at Juno. "You first."

===
 

[Shnazz]

Juno snorted as Zone and Hack had their little freak out over throwing up. "What BB, you can't hold your liquor...? Weak." He hiccuped as he lay there lazily on the couch, lolling his head over to look at Hack. Where was he anyway...?

"Geez man, you're beat--hic!--"

"Look.. who's talking!" Juno rolled over onto his stomach and slid off the couch into a somewhat sitting position on the floor.

"Attention... ladies!"

He searched for the shouting voice's face, and when he found it:

"We're playing... uh, ever have I never!"
"You first."

Juno blinked and squinted at Hack. Once the words registered somewhat, Juno cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem! .. Never... Have I... EVER... ..." He took a long pause and put a finger on his chin, tilting his head and thought awfully hard. Scrunching his eyebrows together, "Have I ever.... Never.. Not been... Kissed... Before." Did he even say that right?

In his unstable position, he slipped as he tried to whap Hack on the arm and fell to his side with a thump giggling all the way. The only reason that'd popped into his mind to say that was he was certain neither of his best friends had been in a relationship before. Therefore, they've never kissed. Was that good enough reason? He thought he knew them well enough, but right now his mind was a giant spinning pool of dizzy thoughts and random inclinations.  

[Rika Mayumi]

mori-zae

"Heh, careful Dusty, they're kinda drunk,"

Zone did not even notice the cat that he almost squished, although the hissing sound was heard. So he glanced from side-to-side, missing the cat who went out through the window, looked around Hack’s disorganized crib and placed an elbow on the chair’s armrest and his left hand on his chin. “Have you been robbed? Or currently having a yard sale Mr. Travis?” he said beaming at Hack sarcastically, unaware that he somewhat contributed in the mess around them, and that he’s smiling more frequently than before. “Oh forgive me,” he raised both his open palms up, “Mrs. Tsing.” and cracked into a laugh.

He knew his friend and Hack were close, but he didn't know they were this close. He just tolerated Hack's antics, even if it irritated him. "Hmmm, so what else don't I know?" he mused, it pains him a little, that he doesn't really know anything and he dismissed the thought, and concluded that it's the alcohol getting into him.

"Attention... ladies! We're playing... uh, ever have I never! You first."

“Playing? Who said we’re in a…” he paused, turned and scrunched his eyes at his friend in front of him.

"Ahem! .. Never... Have I... EVER... ..."

“…game.” He grunted and placed his face on his palm, sliding up to his head messing up his hair more.

"Have I ever.... Never.. Not been... Kissed... Before."

“Been what?! Liar, a celeb like you, not been--” he said in surprise. “Oh right…”

“How does this game go again?” he thought dizzily and remembered that anyone who has done what the first player has not, must drink. “Darn.” He took a bottle and opened it with his teeth and stared at Hack with a smirk.

“Heh--.” Looks like Zone won’t drink this round. He set the bottle on the table hard. A kiss is still a kiss, even if it was just a smack, a gift for his twelfth birthday.  

[mori-zae]

===

“Have you been robbed? Or currently having a yard sale Mr. Travis? Oh forgive me, Mrs. Tsing.”

Under other normal (un-drunk) circumstances, Hack would've been thoroughly frightened at the sight of a laughing Zone. The sallow faced man was always so... so fierce, and intimidating. Right now however, the technopath was not exactly coherent, or thinking straight. So instead of properly recoiling, like he normally would, he lunged forth and wrapped an arm around the smaller man's neck instead with a happy giggle.

"Naaaah I don't want to be Mrs Tsing. You can have that title if you want... Miss *hic* BB."

"Ahem! .. Never... Have I... EVER... ... Have I ever.... Never.. Not been... Kissed... Before."

Hack hiccuped loudly before squinting at Juno across the table. Never... have ever... not what? What a confusing statement. Did that mean he had to kiss someone? Or was he supposed to drink? Or do both? His mom used to kiss him goodnight when she was still alive... did that even count? That Juno and his extra girlfriends... wait why wasn't BB drinking...? What were the rules for the damn game again anyway???

"I... I don't... but I... you..."

Wow, since when was stringing a sentence together this hard?

... Oh, screw that. Why think so much right.

He took a long swig, finishing the alcohol entirely before he set the empty bottle on the table loudly... or tried to, since he missed the table and the bottle went rolling across the floor instead. Hack then proceeded to grab the nearest person's face with both hands, turn his face towards his, and attempt to kiss him squarely on the lips.

Zone would probably punch him later, but drunks don't really think of the consequences of their actions when they were, you know, drunk.

===
 

[Shnazz]

Whether it was the alcohol creating a thick foggy cloud in Juno's head or whether it was this tiny buzzing of territoriality that went off in the back of Juno's muddled brain, it was needless to say that his reflexes instantaneously kicked in.

Surprisingly smoothly and swiftly, Juno slid his arm between the two. But perhaps with too much gusto, as he knocked his back into Zone and half fell forward onto Hack. Oddly enough, it seemed like perfect timing as Juno's lips fell directly onto Hack's. Eyes widening a bit in surprise, as it was not really what Juno was expecting but in his drunken haze surprise turned into something else...

Juno wrapped his arms around Hack's neck and head, seemingly not intending to release him from his best friend's first kiss. May as well make it good, right? After all... Juno had plenty of experience... And it had been quite a while since he'd last kissed anyone, perhaps he missed the feeling because as the seconds progressed his kissing became more passionate. Perhaps he was too involved in his own thoughts and drunkenness to realize who he was kissing, and in his subconscious this moment reminded him of moments passed.

Whatever the case, it looked as though Juno was not letting go of Hack right away. Someone would need to force him out of this trance-like moment.  

[Rika Mayumi]

Everything happened so fast and the world seemed to sway too strong that Zone got knocked over easily by Juno’s back when his tall friend intersected between him and Hack.

“Wait, what the hell was Hack doing---“ the place spun as he laid on his back flat on the floor.

"Naaaah I don't want to be Mrs Tsing. You can have that title if you want... Miss *hic* BB."

Trying to remember things while under the influence of alcohol was no good. Nothing was clear anyway.

All he remembered was: Hack, too close for comfort. Arms too slow to punch him square on his face. Eyes tired and heavy and badly wanted to sleep. “Miss what? Who’s that?” words that doesn’t make sense. The annoying monkey with his arms still wrapped around him, pulled his face closer to him and…
..then he was on the floor.

He grab on to the chair’s arm rest and tried to pull himself up. He must be dreaming, because when he saw his two drinking buddies, there lips were interlocked. Zone spotted the empty bottle Hack dropped earlier and took it.
Commonly, drunken guys break into a fight. Glass bottle shards can be found on the floor. Men punching each other’s lights out over something they can’t even remember what started it. Hitting the other guy with the wooden stool or anything on hand and everyone was on a royal ramble. This on the other hand, in front of him, was surprising.

Two guys. Kissing.

He looked at the empty bottle he was holding, and was about to hit Juno’s head with it. Right, this was how it was supposed to end…not with passionate…tender…kiss between two guys. He wasn’t in the right state of mind. And just when he was about to hit his friend, he tripped or was too dizzy to even stand straight, he fell to their side and the bottle crashed to the floor.

“Aw hell…” he found a beer can on the table instead and shook it, then sprayed it open to the two. He looked sternly at them and drank the rest of the beer.

“Go get a room, you’re spoiling the beer,” he looked at them again for a long time without saying anything swaying side to side,

"Oh and don't step over here, there are broken glass everywhere" he balanced himself on an imaginary wall and stepped on a sharp object, "Darn...where the hell's your broom Hack?" creating permanent acid stains on every step he makes.  

[mori-zae]

===

Things happened unexpectedly fast after Hack attempted to kiss Zone. One moment, his eyelids were closing, face inches away from the sallow faced man and already drunkenly bracing for a smooch. Two seconds later, he was practically bowled over and there was lip contact.

Of course, even in a half conscious stupor, Hack expected that to be the end of that. Except... Zone didn't seem to be letting go? It was a rather nice feeling though, the man thought vaguely as he relaxed into the kiss. In fact, Zone seemed to be... very enthusiastic... he could feel arms wrapping around his neck, hands on his face, and the liplock was intensifying... which was... not very... right???

Hack cracked open an eye. Both flew open wide with some measure of shock when he saw, not Zone, but JUNO. For about 0.01 seconds, Hack was almost sober and he managed to utter a muffled "mrphle" against the pressure of the other man's lips, but then the fog of alcohol induced drunkeness crashed right back after. So it was pretty much a reaction that went along the lines of "OH god its... never mind."

In his drunk-as-a-duck state, Hack was much too fuzzy to think about what he was doing, much less with who, and so this moment of unexpected drunken passion would've continued had there not been a cold splash of beer in their faces. Hack accidentally inhaled some up his nose and immediately went into a coughing, blubbering mess on the floor.

"Augh, what in the..."

He peered at the beer stained floor with beady eyes, beer dripping down his face, vaguely thinking of what a waste it was...

"Darn...where the hell's your broom Hack?"

"What brrrrroom?" Hack slurred as he attempted to push himself upright, pushing Juno away roughly as he did so.

"Its... probably there," he waved in a sweeping gesture that spanned across half the room before promptly dropping back against nearby Juno. Gosh he was feeling... rather sleepy...

===


((akldjafsk this is lame but my paper was driving me nuts and I HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING ELSE. Feel free to slap him awake or something lmao))