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Your mom.

Because if we say what we mean all the time, we accused of nagging, or never being happy, or being a b***h.

I try to be upfront with guys though. With women, you can leave a lot unsaid, and we usually can pick up what's inbetween the lines.

With men you have to say it. Things we consider to be subtle but obvious hints, men will often overlook.

This is what I've learned over the years.

i don't even know what i want :S

I agree with Streets. I tend to be completely upfront and guys are terrified it. I tend to be coy just to avoid freaking them out.

in my experience, if i ever give criticism, it just gets denied and my opinions are rejected. xD "i think you drink too much." "nope it's chill." "i think you should call me, at least once a week." "nah." "i think i'd feel better if you wrote me a nice letter or something." "why would that help anything?"

It's the same thing going on in this thread as what you're describing these ladies doing. In our culture, asking for advice is generally embedded in a subtext of insecurity and seeking validation. You've pointed out that you understand the text of "What should I do" being understood a shorthand for a really complex discourse which basically seems to simplify into "I want to do this, but I need some sort of go-ahead" (why she wants to do that, and why she feels like she needs the go-ahead are embedded in a lot of social scripts and expectations I could probably write you about 10 pages for). Through the thread, everyone here as demonstrated that within this cultural context we all understand that "wanting advice" really means something else and is wrapped up in a lot of other ideas (for the subtext discussion, you can easily refer to any post above this) but the important thing is you've demonstrated that you understand what's going on, but find it absurd.

So what's getting at me is that this question of yours can be seen as cultural shorthand for something else as well. You say, in so many words, "People are doing this and I don't understand it, but I do" so you're not exactly saying what you mean either, and are communicating via a subtext as well, and yet you are questioning why other people do the same. Which confuses the s**t out of me. What do YOU want? xD I feel like what you're really saying is "I'm noticing this thing, I understand it, but it gets on my nerves, and I want some sort of validation of this feeling." Which is cool, Ladies forum is all about feely-feelings. And I'd validate your feelings about this, because it is just as frustrating to you that people don't say what they mean as it is that I sometimes just can't for the life of me say what I mean.

BASICALLY IT'S A DAMN GOOD THING WE CAN ALL THOUGHTLESSLY AND REFLEXIVELY CONVEY THIS IDEAS THROUGH SEMIOTIC DISCOURSE, given the number of barriers we have in communication inherent (for example, discussing various forms of greivences against said discourse linguistically near impossible because language is essentially controlled by those with the power to define it, which excludes, well, everybody in some way) in how our language is structured.

itt: fathy tries to post in lsg after writing an 18 page discursive analysis on cultural symbols. D: