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Despite how sleepy Robert was, and how hard it was to get Robert out of bed, he had been on time to his missions lately. Hell, it was a bit of a miracle that he had shown up to every one of them. But, Caelius had lit a fire under his a** with that pod scare, and nothing motivated a team worker like threatening to kill them.

So there he was, right on time, a little disheveled but at least he smelled like he'd taken a shower, which was an improvement. He hopped out into the Life Arena; hadn't Jordan said this place was some giant game of Jenga?

Sweet. He was awesome at Jenga.*

"HELLOOOOOOOO." Robert cupped his mouth and yelled out to the empty arena, waiting to see who else was out there. The word echoed slightly, and he knew what he had to do.

"NOOWW BATTINGGGG FOR THE NEW YORK YANKEESyankeesyankees - ROOOBERRTT MORRIISSSSmorrismorris."

*this is a lie

Robert's moment of glory was shattered as if Clarice had just taken a baseball bat to it with her voice. He slumped and groaned, turning around to give her a sour glance. "It's so good to see you too, Clarice." Yes, he said her name like Hannibal. Who would have expected otherwise? "You're looking so lovely today. Is that a new witch's broom in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?"

He dropped down on a chair, his legs splayed out long and haphazardly in front of him, and dropped his hands to his hips. "Well, you see, when a boy wishes hard enough, and taps his heels three times, his wish comes true! And my wish was clearly to be stuck in a room with you, sun-"

No, not that. ".. Sunny." A lame ending, but he wasn't about to use Petra's nickname on Clarice.

"I don't need you showing me nothin', sweetheart." Robert growled, before giving her a sugar-coated smile and getting up to bat. The pieces looked easy enough, after all it was only the beginning of the game. His finger poked through an easy, boring first move - he was playing it safe around Clarice.

For now.

When the piece fell, he turned and bent down to give Clarice the most exaggerated of bows. "My dear lady, please do me the honor of taking your first move." He remained in his bow, if only so she couldn't see how hard he was trying not to laugh.

It did not take too long for Clarice to get under his skin. When he realized - maybe ten seconds later - what she was asking, his eyes went wide.

"God damn, Clarice. We're two moves in, and you're talking about my little man already."

He plucked another easy, side piece out. "Woman's never heard of foreplay," He mumbled to himself, before waggling the piece at her. "Not that it's any of your business? But no, I ain't. I know what I'm doing in the bedroom, thanks."

And the cheesy grin was back in full force.

The fact that Clarice did not approve of his.. antics really didn't matter much to Robert. Her distaste bounced off him, and he rolled his eyes before plucking out another piece.

As he held it up triumphantly, the question she'd just asked finally sunk in, and the expression on his face visibly transformed. Gone was the smug smile, the mischievous eyes. He dropped the piece on the table, glaring at Clarice darkly.

"The <********> are you saying, Clarice." He growled. He was a little angry that they had done something to Petra, but also unsurprised at it. It was the last bit that stuck with him, making his jaw work and his words come out cold and cautious. "Me and Pet, we're gonna get married. Ain't no reason why she can't have my kids."

Except, deep down, the knot of dread finally started to build in him, as he waited to see if he was wrong about that.

Robert's hand was clenching on his jacket, wrinkling the fabric within his fist. "I don't want no b*****d kids, lady." He muttered, though his voice cracked on the world 'want'. He took a deep, stabilizing breath, and reached out to slide another far-too-easy piece out. He was not taking chances when this topic was on the table - he could tell it was shaking him to the core, and they were only on Round 1.

How was he supposed to make it through the whole game with this on his mind?

"Don't you think Petra should have a say in this, Clarice?" He put the piece down, and his gaze leveled on her darkly. "It's one thing to tell me I shouldn't try to have a child with the woman I love. It's another thing entirely to tell that woman that she can't have kids with me."

Robert had already bent in to try and snatch a piece while Clarice spoke. It was, perhaps, not the best idea, but he wasn't really expecting what Clarice had to say. Sterility, abortions, Robert had dug deep at the bottom of the barrel when he thought about how Deus were going to keep a woman from having a baby.

But when he slid the piece out, and caught the rest of Clarice's explanation, the piece dropped and clattered against the tower, shaking it. Almost.. almost.. no, it settled back into place.

But he didn't care.

Robert's sharp tongue was silent, for once. His face was pale white, and he looked like he was going to be sick.

Or cry.

Or both.

Round over.