When presented with the options for exams, he began to feel a little troubled. The only times he tried to do something involving his attacks or his FEAR, he failed miserably, be it trapping himself in a horrendously painful position or degenerating into a "pet the puppy" game. That one was probably a no-go. The written exam was a possibility, despite his general inability to do well with worksheets or other written classwork. He kept it in mind, deciding to move on to the remaining two options. Healing? Hexes?
Okay, written it was.
He psyched himself up as he waited for the questions, reassuring himself that he was a badass Cerberus triplet who could do no wrong. He knew a whole bunch of stuff from all of the books he read! He knew a decent amount of Halloween history, and, oh boy, if they asked anything about minipets, he had that one in the bag! He had a whole bunch of them in the bag, in fact! To demonstrate to his inner voice of confidence just how much he had minipet knowledge down pat, he reached down to pat Princess Cinders. Having a minipet around all the time definitely meant magically gaining information. Definitely.
When the paper reached his hands, he stared down at it eagerly. If anyone were watching on, they would see his soul slowly escaping as he read from one question to the next. By the time he glanced over the final quizzical punctuation on question three, he looked like an abused dog that had been left out in the cold for an entire winter without food or love, who had just come upon the realization that nobody was ever coming back for him. Give or take.
Fumbling in his bag, he finally pulled out a writing utensil. Of course it was a snake pen. Of course. Now he couldn't make any mistakes! No pressure. He took a few deep breaths, exhaling through his teeth each time, trying to separate each question from the next to assess them individually. It seemed like a good idea, but it didn't help at all. He tried clearing his brain, then staring at the question, and writing what first came to mind...
IF A WEREWOLF IMBUED WITH FEAR POWER HURTLES TOWARDS A REAPER WITHOUT THEIR WEAPON AT A SPEED OF 263.7^N/72, WILL THE IMPACT KILL BOTH OF THEM INSTANTLY?
"kitsune", his answer read.
Jackdamnit.
He crossed that out and gave himself a thwack on the nose. When he recovered from the pain of the thwack on the nose, he somehow decided that the best thing to do would be to draw a picture of himself begging the Bogeymen to leave the school alone. It didn't occur to him in the slightest that he had a 50/50 chance of getting the right answer, but if they took the general mood of the drawing, they might presume that he'd answered the question with a "no".
BRIEFLY EXPLAIN THE METAPHYSICAL PROCESSES INVOLVED IN VISITING THE PUMPKIN PATCH (NO DIAGRAMS, PLEASE).
Reading the question by itself made Thackery reel back in horror. What were they asking of him!? And what did those words even mean? He let out a very audible whine and tried his best to not just rip up the paper and give up. Maybe pleading with them would work again. They might understand if he explained his position on the matter...and it wasn't a diagram, so there was that.
"I dont think I am ready for this kind of committmment(t?) but I care so much about this school and I know lots of other students do too please please please"
Maybe one day, he concluded mentally, he would visit the pumpkin patch and they would have Pyramid-dogs and he would know the answer to that question. Maybe in the past he should have taken Cricket's emergency sex ed class, but that was the past. And it was better to just think about the future, which potentially involved visits to the pumpkin patch, which would potentially teach him about the "metaphysical" stuff he didn't understand. And then he might think about the past-
He stopped. He was beginning to hurt his head.
None of this gave him a headache as much as the last question did. It didn't make any more sense than when he'd read it the first few times. Was this supposed to be one of those hypothetical things he'd heard about? Maybe a riddle? With a grumble, he tapped his pen against the paper.
HOW MUCH FOLLYJOX COULD A BOGEYMAN CONSUME IF A BOGEYMAN COULD CONSUME FOLLYJOX?
Aside from being disgusted that someone would even think of doing such a thing, Thackery was fairly sure that such a thing was against some code of ethics somewhere. But damnit, he was going to save this school. He'd ruined the first two questions so badly (which he now regretted, especially since it was all in pen) that he really had to try on this one. He did the best calculations he could fathom for the problem, even if it was some sort of hypothetical riddle, and ended up with...seven.
It didn't seem right, but he had no idea what the capacity of a Bogeyman's stomach was, if they even had stomachs. So he circled the answer, turned the paper in, and shamefully walked back towards Ash, considering the creation of a club that might prevent such terrible mistreatment of minipets.
Total: This should probably count as a 0 but by technicality...3.
