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 Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:45 pm
In a dark, twisted castle sitting on the ridge of the Himalayan Mountains, Zero Omega wiped the rhubarb from his face, his face blanching from the terrible taste.
"It had to be rhubarb," he growled, his hands clenching into fists. "Too long have I stayed in the shadow of sticky pie filling! Too long have I vowed revenge and done nothing. Well I shall stall no more! Today all of Gaia shall rue the advent of pie! Apple pie and blueberry pie and pumpkin pie... all shall be reviled for instigating the terrible consequences I shall unleash! This year, there will be no Christmas! This year, there will only be... BLAND DESSERTS!"
----
*brrriiinnnggg*
"Ungh," the sleeping figure groaned, rolling over to avoid the sound of the telephone.
*brrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnngggggg*
"Fine! Fine! I'm getting up! I'm getting up!" Inferno muttered, extracting herself from the warm entanglement of her sheets to pick up the phone.
" 'Lo?"
"Oh EM GEE INFERNO! THEY'RE ALL GONE! ALL OF THEM!"
"whu-"
"What am I going to do!?! The elves were supposed to come get them tomorrow! There's no way I'll have another batch ready in time! It took me a MONTH to make that many!"
"Rina, slow down, what's gone?"
"The cookies!" Rina wailed across the phone line. "MY COOKIES!"
Inferno held the phone away from her ear for a minute while the hysteria continued. Only after the shouting calmed to hectic babble did she return to the receiver.
"Ok, why is this such a big deal? Tell the elves you need another week."
"Inferno, you are such a twithead! Santy needs those cookies NOW! The Christmas rush is on and he has to stay sugared up to keep on top of everything!"
"Then give them some cupcakes. You always have a million cupcakes."
"THEY'RE GONE TOO!" Rina cried into her phone with no regard for her friend's eardrums. "EVERYTHING'S GONE! HAVEN'T YOU BEEN LISTENING! For the love of everything pink, Xmas is doomed!"
"I'll be right there. Try not to deafen the entire town in the meantime."
------
It was strange. Every sweet thing in Barton was gone. I called Aekea and Gambino Island and it seemed the same had happened there. I was baffled until I caught a huge break from Old Man Logan himself.
"I was doing some midnight fishing over by Bass'ken Lake when I saw them."
"What did you see?"
"I'm not sure, kiddo," he replied, taking a huge bite out of a tuna fish sandwich.
My feathers ruffled at being called 'kiddo,' but I needed this source. "Well what did it look like?"
"There was no 'it.' You're looking for a 'them.' An entire army of them. Robots, I think, but it was like all the color and life had been drained out of them and they were only running on the depraved cravings of a madman."
"You could tell that by looking at them?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Look I was detecting long before you ever put on a trenchcoat!" Logan snarled.
"Fine, fine," I said, jotting down 'depraved cravings of a madman' in my notepad. "So where were they headed?"
"Deadman's Pass."
I paled then. Deadman's Pass was ripe with sharp turns and dark gorges, perfect for an ambush. I didn't matter. It was my duty as a Gaian to go after these fiends! Because of them there was no doughnut to dip in my coffee. There was no sucker to ease my nicotine cravings. There was no pie to throw at the cows. Travesties, all.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
1, 19
Total: 20 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:47 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 40
Attack Unsuccessful
Remaining HP: 40
Daily Roll #1
In the distance a bell tolled, its deep vibration only magnifying the silence that reverberated around it. Nothing moved inside those gates, but you knew that as soon as you stepped through, all the critters would come streaming out from between those trees and rocks and crevices.
Inferno took a deep breath and slipped between the bars, the guardsmen outside giving her a slight nod in salute. He wouldn't help her if she was in need, but he would wish her luck all the same, the b*****d, she thought bitterly.
A hundred feet in and still nothing had moved. She'd been here before, usually within a few steps there were a few bootsnakes slithering about. Something had scared them, scared them badly. That wasn't a good sign.
She was in the middle of the bridge now, and an OMG poked its head out at the far end. Maybe it wasn't so bad, she thought, just before the critter spooked and skittered back off into the treeline. She saw it then, the sentry probably, or scout if they were coming back. She swore under her breath. She'd hoped that they were stupid enough or cocky enough to ignore possible threats. And she was definitely a possible threat. She fired a round at the backside of the retreating metallic creature, but the bullet flew into the ground. It had been a long-shot, but she had to try.
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:48 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 40
Woops forgot to do post action :fail:
-----
She ran then, to find cover before the lone bot could call its friends and multiply into a truly fearsome foe. The gravestones to the north would do. They'd alert her to any approaching forces with their musical tones. She darted behind the largest one, just past the fork in the road. Her foot squelched as it stepped into the shadows. Disgusting, bootsnake guts. She wiped her foot in the depressingly sparse grass before crouching in a spot less maligned by critter remains.
It was time to wait.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
19, 10
Total: 29 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 9:49 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 40
Attack Successful
Remaining HP: 30
Soon enough, a cacophony of notes playing some dread tune of discord rang through the night. The enemy hoard did not know this area well enough to avoid the tuned tombstones as Inferno did as she slipped silently toward the hoard of colorless bots, the light gleaming off their metallic coverings. Malice glinted in their cold dead eyes and leaked out of the monotone callings of "Eliminate. Threat must be eliminated." Luckily, they were grouped tightly together, like a swarm, effective as an overwhelming tactic, but terrible defensively against area-of-effect attacks, and Inferno had just the right one. As the red-orange tail of the missile flew towards the group, they separated from their center. Not so stupid after all, but still a quarter of their number was left as smoldering piles of gray ash. Fitting for such an ashen troupe.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
3, 14
Total: 17 (2-40)
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:42 am
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 30
Attack unsuccessful
Rolled AC: 3
Remaining HP: 30
They'd locked on to her again. She darted from flagstone to flagstone, her toes nimble and making no sound as she stepped upon the rocky bays. Suddenly a silvery shape dropped down in front of her. Startled, she slashed out, only to find that there was nothing there. And then a painful thud against her back alerted her of the creature's whereabouts. It had gotten behind her. She fell painfully against the nearest headstone, and she could feel her wrist snap against the rocky edge. Painfully she drew a grenade with her left hand and yanked out the pin with her teeth. It was awkward using her non-dominant hand. Perhaps she should have trained to be ambidextrous, but now was not the time for regrets. She lobbed the weapon towards the oncoming foe. It hit nothing, but the resulting smoke and debris allowed her to escape the immediate danger.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
11, 8
Total: 19 (2-40)
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 12:43 am
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 30
Attack Successful
Rolled AC: 11
Remaining HP: 22
Too many. There were too many. Cradling her broken hand as best as she could, she ran down the pathways of the Deadman's Pass. She'd have to use her superior knowledge of the terrain to her advantage. So many times before had she fought these grounds, taking step by step with her fellow adventurers as their trails lay strewn with broken critters.
Why? her mind cried beneath the pain. What is their purpose? Are these even the culprits of the thievery, or merely a dark and sinister coincidence? No. There were no coincidences in this world. There had to be a connection. But what? And where had all the pies and cupcakes and cookies and strudels of Gaia gone?
She sprinted up the sheer stone pathway that led to the manner high atop the mountain. It was narrow here and their numbers would allow them no advantage aside from endurance. As she cleared the second flight of stairs, she heard the all to familiar caw of her favorite flying nemesis. She hurried ahead as the silver bots streamed behind her. A few moments later, she glanced back to the satisfying sight of the mindless Purse hurtling through the air, knocking 8 of the hoard off the path to their demise far below.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
2, 5
Total: 7 (2-40)
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:41 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 22
Attack Unsuccessful
Rolled AC: 2
Remaining HP: 22
This was an excellent sign. The hoards had not been up here yet, and so the little zomg monsters would still be about. She knew their favorite hiding places and could avoid them, but the bots would not.
Ahead was the frequented cave of the OMGs. Perhaps they'd be able to take care of a few more robots for her. She slid against the left face of the steep passageway as she turned the corner, careful not to disturb the area that alerted the OMGs, before darting forward. She hid behind an outcrop to watch the outcome of this ploy.
She was disappointed. The little OMG had no chance against the oncoming bot army. As soon as it poked its head out from its hideaway, the heavy metal boots of the hoard stamped out its short life. But she despaired not. There were still a few tricks remaining up her sleeve.
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
10, 2
Total: 12 (2-40)
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Posted: Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:41 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 22
Attack Successful
Remaining HP: 20
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
14, 9
Total: 23 (2-40)
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:20 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 20
attack successful
remaining hp: 11
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:32 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 11
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
6, 15
Total: 21 (2-40)
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Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:33 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 11
attack unsuccessful
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
4, 10
Total: 14 (2-40)
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:59 am
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC:10
HP: 11
attack unsuccessful
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
2, 10
Total: 12 (2-40)
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Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:00 am
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC:10
HP: 11
attack unsuccessful
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
19, 10
Total: 29 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:02 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC:10
HP: 11
Successful attack
remaining HP: 1
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Inferno Breeze rolled 2 20-sided dice:
19, 6
Total: 25 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 12:04 pm
Tier One: Zero Bot Army
AC:10
HP: 1
attack successful
remaining hp: 0
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