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 Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 5:28 pm
There are tales of heroes saving princes from villains or the universe from asthmatic evil space overlords. There are tales of children flying around in a land where you never age and how an arachnid can save a pig by weaving words with thin silk threads. Yes, there are stories, books, legends, songs of so many things, and so many of them are the cliche. We all heard the one about that one guy saving that one girl from that one dude and then living happily ever after, right? We all know the story of how friendship and love prevails all evil and all it takes is to believe! And don't get me started on how Christmas was saved over, and over, and over again. I am sure Christmas was saved more times than you can possible count and that by now Santa and the elves should have learned how to prevent these things. A bad blizzard and a reindeer with a red nose came to the rescue, and then another bad blizzard and then a moose that dreamed to fly falls in and saves the day. Some other time some jealous Santa clone comes marching down and tries to take over Christmas, or a jealous winter spirit. The big guy even got kidnapped and some undead skeleton had to do the job himself! Every possible scenario has already happened and Christmas still gets ruined one way or the other. Even a wannabe elf had to help save Christmas by convincing his estranged father to believe because that was what fuels Santa's sleigh. Okay so maybe the elves learned from that experience and changed the fuel to sugar and sweets that so many children set out in thanks for the gifts they get or maybe Mrs. Claus wanted her hubby to go on a diet and decided that using the cookies as fuel would get him to slim down, I don't know!
Whatever the reason it really does no help because there always seems to be that one person who is determined to ruin Christmas and crush the happiness of millions of children, adults, snowmen, animals and Gaians on the one night in a year where they can receive presents from a mysterious old man in the North Pole who expects nothing back other than some milk and cookies and possible a nice thank-you card. I just don't understand people nowadays. And this is where the next tale of butt-kickin', candy-cane lickin', Christmas-Savin' hero starts, and that hero just so happens to be me. Ya, that's right. the hero that saves Christmas this year is the awesome me. Randomness1207, aka Zeh Awesome One, will save Christmas in a not so cliche way!
So gather around and hear my tale because it is one to be told for generations and it will become a tradition passed down every Christmas from parent to child, brother to sister, grandma to grandchild, creepy neighbor to random stranger, for everyone will be telling the tale of when Randomness 1207, aka Zeh Awesome One, saved Christmas...
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:51 am
Twas a week before Christmas, when all through the store
A "NOOOOOO!!!!" was heard from aisle four
To her horror she knelt before shelves empty of sweets
She cried, "Where are the cookies?! Where are my sugary treats?!"
She needed those treats, those boxes of sugar
And of Santa, she thought, who had cookie hunger
So many treats missing, not gone from sales, it was a crime
And who could this such a thing, around Christmas time?
So her hunt started for this cruel thief
She would leave nothing unturned, not even a leaf
She found the culprit much to her delight
The Zero Bot Army, she now must fight
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mirshko rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 6
Total: 24 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:54 am
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 40
AC Rolled: 16
Attack: SUCCESSFUL!
This was no time for play, cookies were at stake!
And what she did next, made the robots shake
"You don't mess with my cookies," she muttered under her breath
She leapt at them with a battle cry, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO YOU A GOOD DEATH!"
As cheesy as it was, she had no time to think
Down came a barrage of snowballs, before the robots could even blink
She hadn't thought ahead to the upcoming to fight
But she had one goal in mind and that was to smite
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 34
Daily Attack 1 of 2
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mirshko rolled 2 20-sided dice:
5, 6
Total: 11 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 4:02 am
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 34
AC Rolled: 6
Attack: FAILED
Upon looking at her enemy she realized as her face turn to ashes
Snowballs did little damage, and the robots had battles axes
Nonetheless, with little at hand she would not give up
And vowed to herself, the will be defeated by sunup
With all the fury of a burning sun
She shot out snowballs faster than a gun
Sadly the robots were smarter than she had thought
They moved out of the way and dodged the onslaught
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 34
Daily Attack 2 of 2
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 12:58 pm
FORGOT TO ROLL REFER TO NEXT POST
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mirshko rolled 2 20-sided dice:
17, 20
Total: 37 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:00 pm
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 34
AC Rolled: 17
Attack: SUCCESSFUL!!
[rhymey stuff here
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 14
Daily Attack 1 of 2
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:10 pm
Forgot to roll again... My god I should stop rushing with the copy and pasting
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mirshko rolled 2 20-sided dice:
20, 20
Total: 40 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2011 1:11 pm
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 14
AC Rolled: 20
Attack: SUCCESSFUL!!
[rhymey stuff here
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: -6 meaning I WON!
Daily Attack 2 of 2
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